Fry And Leela Happy Endings From Bender, Part 1
This story is about Farnsworth who has
apparently invented a new time paradox code, that makes copies of the
universe from going back or forward in time, but only makes copies of
the universe where you originally said it, also there is no doom
rating at all in, the new parallel universes, that Bender is going to
Can anyone understand that what I said there? I sure cant.
Opening Quote" Welcome To The World Of Yesterday!"
Announce"All new yet old feature length epic adventure, Staring Fry,Leela,Bender,Some-Guy who no one
knows what he looks like and an few Others. Is brought to you by. Its
the next best thing to Popplers *Farmer Jim's Deep Fried In Pure Fat
Buggalo Nuggets* The fast bad for you food thats good for yea!"
Scene Planet Express Sub-Basement.
Bender sits with his ass on ground Farnsworth explains the details of
his new invention but also Farnsworth looks like someone in his mid
Farnsworth"Good news you. I have
invented an new and better time paradox code that does not make
paradox copies and you can go both forward and backward in time, plus
there is no chance of making an crack in the universe."
Bender"Would you care to explain
the science behind that of how you invented an new time code and even
know of the first time paradox code? Because I've never heard of it"
Farnsworth"Nooo! Now Bender I must
warn you, ever time you say that new time code I've invented, you
create new parallel universes, copies of this universe , so there is
no chance of ever coming back here were you have or going to say the
originally new time code."
Bender not listening"Yeah ,Yeah, I
give Fry and Leela happy endings, along the way to my stop point in
time before Fry was killed by a Space-Bee, now give me the time
Farnsworth"Not yet. Anyhoo be sure
that you do, although on a negative note then I wouldn't be able to
harvest Leela's organs.
Farnsworth"Well, when Leela had
committed suicide a week after Fry's death I harvested her organs and
put them in that box over there."
Farnsworth points beside the brown worn
couch with trace amounts of Fry's ,hear, blood, and other DNA things.
There is an light blue box thats marked Leela's organs beside the
couch on the hand right side on the couch.
Bender"Your sick in the head. You
know that. Don't you?"
Farnsworth"Oh my yes indeed I
know. Now here you go."
Farnsworth walks over and inserts the
new time paradox code cassette into Bender's mouth.
Farnsworth"Now off you go!"
Bender"Wait Professor, before I
go, how did you-"
Farnsworth"How did I get young
Farnsworth"I drank some tar from
the Bubbling Geezer Hot Spring Spa Tar Pits and I-"
Bender not listening saying the code
There is an flash of light and Bender
Farnsworth looking down cast sad"Oh!
Good bye then Bender."
Farnsworth turns to leave, to go up
stairs and go to bed. But then he hesitates looking over at the couch
giving him an idea.
Farnsworth"Hmm, Oh I might as well
give it a try."
Farnsworth opens his lab-coat and takes
out two jars. One marked
Scruffy's-Marmalade the other marked
Bee- Royal -Jelly.
Farnsworth"Right, its now or
Farnsworth throws the two jars at the
same time, they both smash into pieces spilling its constrains all
over the couch. The jelly forms both Fry and Leela shaped objects.
Fry is covered allover with Bee- Royal -Jelly on the left, Leela is
covered allover with Scruffy's-Marmalade she is on the right side of
the couch and Farnsworth smiles and leaves to go to bed.
Leela"I don't believe it. You are
Fry"Leela? How? What? Hmm? Last
thing I remember was being in excruciating pain and soiling my self."
Leela"Forget how it happened, Fry,
and just make love with me, and we'll remarry after words."
Fry"Alright! I'm totally go an
laid by the girl of my dreams Leela, who I love!"
Leela"You sure are."
Both Fry and kiss one another's on the
cheeks at the same time."
Leela licking her lips"Mmm, your
Fry"And you tasted like sweet and
Leela wraps her arms around Fry and
pulls him close and kisses him on the lips.
Leela"Mind if I kiss,lick and suck
my way down down your-"
Narrator"God Leela, kids might be
seeing this! Anyway moving on."
Scene somewhere in the western
country side of Ireland 1916.
There is an flash of light and Bender
appears in an field of cows.
Bender"Holy cow and anchovy ! Cows
On the muddy ground next to Bender's
feet there is a old worn wooden black bucket that coincidentally and
unrealistic says on it anchovies.
Bender"This is the wrong time Fry
is not even born yet, although I love stay and help the Irish win
there freedom against the English with my 31thCenturt technology
powers but I have noting against the everyday English parson, I just
hate the Royal Family for they can, Plack Iimsa Gleigal Irainn Toi ."
Bender"Shut up, and stop staring
at me! I got no cow feed!"
Bender"Moo Moo Moo! No wounder you
cows went extinct. What do you do all day anyway?"
Bender"Moo? Whats that mean? Oh I
better turn on my translator."
Cow-One"We eat, sleep, and lie in
are own filth and have sex all day."
The cows laugh.
Bender" Isn't that reinforce
Bender"Oh nothing. Anyway that
sounds like my kind of life, I'd like to life and I respect you. Mind
if I take a bit of your blood? So I can make clones of you, by using
your DNA and become rich selling beef and cow milk and other things
that come from cow?"
He walks over the cow,opens his chest
cabinet, takes out an syringe, he then injects the syringe into the
cow's skin around the abdomen he passes the syringe until its full
Bender"Pleasure doing business
Bender puts the filled with cow blood
syringe into his chest cabinet, he then also picks up and puts the
bocked of anchovies into his chest cabinet too.
Bender"I shell never forget ye
Bender saying the
There is an flash of light and Bender
Scene Old New York. Brooklyn Pre-Med
Junior Hospital labor-ward room.
Mrs. Fry shouting" Hey, keep it
down! It's the 9th inning."
She holds a portable radio to her ear.
Commentator on radio" Here's the
02 pitch to Craypool. He's taking all the way for a called strike
Mrs. Fry"Swing the bat, you bum!"
The doctor lifts up a baby and it
Doctor" It's a boy. And look at
that red hair!"
Mr. Fry"You saying my son's a
Commentator on radio" And Groady
leans into the pitch!"
Mrs. Fry cheers.
Mrs. Fry"This is the happiest day
of my life!"
The doctor puts the baby on her lap.
Doctor" Here's your baby, ma'am."
Mrs. Fry" Yeah, OK, thanks."
Mr. Fry" So, what should we name
Bender shouting"Philip J. Fry!"
Bender bursts through the door.
Bender"Hand em over, or I'll get
24thCenturey on you ass!"
Mr. Fry"What 24thcenturey? Don't
Bender"Oh Yeah its this time! I
mean hand em over or I'll get medieval on your ass!"
Bender pulls out an one handed
lightsaber out of chest cabinet, powers it on revealing that it is a
Bender"I said, hand em over. or
I'll get medieval on your ass!"
Bender moves towards him.
Bender"Hand him over or I'm cut
you into a thousand pieces, in other words in itsy bitsy pieces."
Bender now has the lightsaber a inch a
way from his neck.
Mr. Fry"Okay you can have him!"
Bender turns off the lightsaber and he
hands Fry over to Bender and Bender puts Fry away in his chest
Bender"Good day to you sir."
Bender walks out through the Bender
shaped like hole in the door he busted through .
Scene Brooklyn Pre-Med Junior
Bender"Well its time to go. to the
future with out using the time code. I know where the nearest
cryogenic lab is and its not one your thinking of god."
Scene USA Today with headlines Alien
Baby Abduction By Some Tin Man Robot With An Mumming Sound
Red-Light-Stick That Can Cut Through Anything.
Narrator"Who came up with that
crummy headline? Anyway Moving on."
Scene Outside Cookieville
Minimum-Security Orphanarium Morris and Munda come out of a manhole
near the building with their baby. They put it in a basket outside
the front door. Morris puts a bracelet on the baby's wrist.
Morris" I made this bracelet so
that in some small way we'll always be with you, even when it doesn't
seem like it. During your entire life, for example.
He kisses her.
Munda"You won't pass for human,
cutie. But if my PhD in exo-linguistics is worth diddly-poop, this
note should convince them you're an alien."
She attaches the note to the baby's
Munda" And that'll be enough to
give you a real life. "
She kisses the baby, puts her hood up
and runs down the steps. Morris rings the doorbell and follows her.
Warden Vogel opens the door and sees the baby. Morris and Munda watch
from the manhole.
Morris" She'll never know we're
Munda"That's our gift to her.
Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her
Morris" I'm with you.
They hug. Then turn and watch Vogel.
Vogel"What a beautiful gigantic
eye you ha--"
The baby kicks him.
Vogel" Well, come on-"
Bender shouting"Wait you old
An out of breath and gasping Bender
runs up to Vogel and hands an screaming, Baby-Fry to him and Bender
also hands him an note that explains all the details.
Vogel" Well, come on in then both
Morris and Munda watching Leela and Fry
disappear inside, they hold their breath and dive into the sewers.
Bender"I wounder what his life
going to be like?"
Bender says the new time paradox code
and a flash of light happens and he disappears.
Narrator"Bender won't know but you
will lucky you."
To be continued