"Let's get our hearts together
as before, and like before
we'll do again."lyrics by Jon Anderson
"Nuts! I'm late!" Amy scurried around the lounge of the Planet Express building, looking for her lost boot. "I'll never get there in time."
"I can get you there in just a few seconds," said the Professor.
She gave him a dubious look. "How can you possibly get me all the way over to Little Ganymede in a few seconds?"
"Come...let me show you my transporter beam."
Amy was a bit leery of the Professor's inventions, but she had an important appointment and had little choice. "Does it hurt?" she asked in a sheepish tone as she examined the glass tube.
"Amy...would I use it if it hurt? Just give it a try." He began setting the dials on the machine and glancing at an electronic map. "I'm guessing that you want to end up at Fred Pohl Circle."
"Yes, that'll do fine."
"Step right on that 'x' inside of that glass tube there." As she did so, he closed the tube door and threw a lever. A beam of light came out of a huge laser device above her. He watched Amy turn a bright red glow as the beam stuck her, and then watched her disappear.
Amy looked around at her surroundings. It was Fred Pohl Circle alright. Everything was there...Mr. Zorgl selling ice cream to the kids, the blind vendor selling his brooms to people, business people having lunch in the tiny park. She briefly grabbed her sleeve and looked at herself - she was still in one piece. Maybe, just maybe, the Professor had finally created something people could actually use. She looked at her wrist thingee...not only was she not late, but she had 15 minutes to grab a cup of coffee. As she walked across the park, Leela suddenly appeared behind her and walked off in another direction.
Her business concluded, Amy walked back to the same park; she was surprised to run into Leela there. "You too?" she laughed.
"Oh, yeah. My dentist is just across the park. When did you find out about the beam?"
"The Professor just told me about it. So, are you headed back?"
"Yeah...all I have to do is call him - the computer can retrieve us on our signal. Say, why don't we just make it a two-for-one transport?" Leela dialed up the Professor on her wrist-thingee.
Fry and Bender were watching "The Scary Door" in the a darkened lounge, nibbling on popcorn and drinking Slurm and beer. They watched the familiar host in his dark suit narrate for the audience. "Witness if you will," the narrator said, "two young women who are about to have their whole universe turned inside out..."
A loud explosion suddenly shook the walls of the lounge. Bender's eyes grew wide. "Man, this show sure has great sound effects."
"Bender...that came from the labs! That was a real explosion!"
Bender took another swig of his beer. "Oh, than it's just the Professor blowing himself up again. Happens about once a week."
"What's that supposed to mean? He could be hurt...that was louder than his weekly explosion; usually they're just a loud pop or a thud."
"I know what it means...we don't have to work on Friday - woo hoo!"
"Aw nuts," Bender complained. "If somethin' happened, we'll know about it by tomorrow morning."
When the smoke cleared from the explosion, a woman's hand with a pink sleeve reached up from the rubble of lab equipment.
"Professor," Fry said, "I can see Amy's arm over there. Let's help her."
Fry walked over and grabbed the hand, and helped her stand up. When she stood up, the first thing that Fry noticed was that she was slightly taller than Amy usually stood; she was more like Leela's height. As the smoke cleared some more, he began to see that she looked slightly different in the face. "Amy? you look different. Your hair is dark purple. And you're taller."
"Amy?" she asked. "Why do you keep calling me Amy? My name is Amelia...I think...wait a minute...yes, Amelia."
"Oh, dear lord," moaned the Professor. The worst of all my fears has come true."
"Explain this to me again," Amelia asked, "what happened to me?" The voice was different from Amy's voice...it had a lower quality, almost a like a contralto.
"The two of you must have tried to transport together...my machine was never meant to do that. When your matter was combined in the retrieval process, the computer re-assembled you two as one person."
Fry just stood there with his mouth wide open. "You mean you're trying to tell me..."
"Yes, Fry...Amy and Leela have been combined into this one person you see here."
"Gleesh, Fry - I thought you got that by now," said Amelia.
"You mean Big Boots and Little Boots are both in there?" asked Bender.
"Oh Lord," moaned Amelia, "does he have to explain it to you guys again? I think I got it the first time."
The Professor stepped in closer. "How is your memory?"
Amelia got a confused look on her face. "Kinda strange...filled with stuff. Really sort of a blur. Fancy birthday parties with the Wongs...mixed with things from the sewers...horrible, creeping things. Did I really grow up in the sewers? Ewww..." Amelia then reached out her hand and put it on Fry's shoulder. "We...I mean, I liked you, didn't I? And I have a pet...Nibbler. It's all just a jamble in my head." Amelia walked out of the room calling for Nibbler. "Come here, Poopsie-doodle..."
Fry turned to the Professor with a worried look on his face. "You are going to be able to fix this, aren't you? I mean you've made messes before, but this is a real disaster."
"I'll try my best, boy...but I've got to get it sorted out quickly before they completely become one person. By the way, where did she go?"
Fry looked out the window. "She left the building. We can't very well keep them...I mean her, a prisoner."
"Try to keep an eye on her, boy...I've got a book I need to fetch from the used book store. I'm going to need what's in there to make things right. Lord, I hope they still have a copy..."
Amelia walked into the nearby Starbugs coffeehouse, and stepped up to order.
"What can I get for you?" asked the barista.
Amelia looked the menu up and down. "Give me a minute," she told the young man.
"Leela, I always get a Martian Latte...without sweetener, half-caf. Buh!"
"I don't drink that, Amy...I always have a Kenya AA...black. You know that..."
"Uh, can I have a Martian Latte with some Kenya AA in it?"
The Barista gave her a funny look. "I suppose so...let me get that started for you."
A voice came from behind Amelia. "Now that purple hair could only belong to one person." Amelia turned around.
Morgan Proctor's eyes grew wide with surprise. "Oh, I am so sorry...I thought you were someone I knew from Planet Express."
"We work there...as an intern - a pilot...sort of..."
"Oh, okay. Funny...I've never seen you down there. What's your name?"
"Amelia? Amelia who?"
Amelia started to panic for a second, until she spotted the metal nameplate on the big coffee steamer over the counter. "Uh, Schmeltzer. Amelia Schmeltzer."
"Oh...right. By the way, do you ever see Turanga Leela?"
Amelia got a funny look on her face. "Uh...a bit of her...here and there."
"Great. Could you tell her to turn in her safety orientation forms? It should be simple, as you guys haven't had an accident in over a hundred days. And could you pass that along to Amy Wong as well?"
"Uh, yeah...we'll pass that along to Miss Wong. Great kid, that Miss Wong."
"Super. You know, I still like that hair color. Where did you get it?"
Amelia smiled. "It's my natural color."
"Neat...just like Leela's, only darker. Have a good day."
Morgan walked off. Amelia shook her head. "Like, Guh!" Morgan turned around and gave Amelia a strange look. She then shook her puzzled head and walked away.
"Excuse me, miss," the Professor asked, "do you have a copy of 'Nuclear Wave Pulse Principle for Dummies' by Dr. Kurt Sienkiewicz?"
"I'm sorry, sir...I just sold the last copy to that couple over there. Did you try Amazonian.com?"
"Yes...they didn't have any copies left." An angry look washed across the Professor's face as he clenched his fists. "Wernstrom! Mom!"
The two turned. "Hubert...what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to buy that book you have."
"Too late," Mom told him, "it's ours now."
"But I need that book...two lives are in the balance."
Wernstrom turned to Mom. "You know what that means, dear...he screwed up. I'll bet you were tinkering with that transporter machine again. What did you do...turn one of your employees into a giant fly?"
"But I still need that book! Can't I just borrow it for a night?"
Wernstrom thought a minute. "Are you willing to battle it out in the 'Brain Game' on tv to get it? I'll even have the moderator make the questions easy for you."
Mom stepped forward. "No, Ogden...let's go for something really diabolical. The Corporate Basketball Three On Three Challenge is coming up. If he's able to beat us on the court, he can have his precious book."
"And what if he loses?" asked Wernstrom.
"Then we get to keep whatever he screwed up. You can dissect it if you like, honey." She looked back over to Farnsworth. "Well, wrinkle-puss, do we have a deal?"
"Okay, Mom...I'll play your evil little game. I happen to have a power forward that can kick your butts."
"Oh yeah? I have at least two sons that can run you all over the court."
Ogden stopped and got a worried look on his face. "Did we say anything about mutations?"
The Professor got an evil grin. "You didn't say anything about mutations when you opened up your flap-trap."
Mom stepped up again. "I don't want that purple-haired mutate in the game...she elbowed my boy in the face last time."
"That was after he slapped her in the eye..."
"That was an accident - they were in traffic. Now, do we have a deal?"
"Deal. She's on...a leave of absence, anyway. Otherwise, anything goes."
"We'll see you at the Garden, Hubert. And we'll bring the book with us," Mom said. As the Professor walked away, Mom could still see that Ogden was worried. "Relax, honey," she told him, "we beat them every year. All they have is that orange-haired boy and that Chinese girl that couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a bass fiddle; she practically trips over her own shoelaces in every game. If she could play as well as she can fly that party board of hers, maybe they'd actually win."
"I know him too well," Ogden mused. "I still don't trust him."
A worried Kif came running up to the Planet Express Headquarters with a small bouquet of flowers in his hand. He was intercepted by the Professor as soon as he entered the lobby.
"Kif," he told him, "I need to explain what happened."
"Oh, dear God...tell me she's alright...the message said something about a mutation."
"She's going to be fine," the Professor continued, "she's just going to seem a little...uh, different when you meet her."
Kif spotted Amelia's pink top as she was standing in the hall. "Amy!" He sprinted down the hall and stopped behind her. His smile faded as he realized that she had grown taller. Amelia turned around to face him with a smile. Kif's eyeballs rolled up and he passed out.
Kiffy! He passed out!
He does that thing a lot, doesn't he Amy?
Sluh...he wouldn't have, if it weren't for your giraffe height.
I can't help it if you are 'height challenged,' shorty...
You know Leela, now that you mention it, it is nice being able to reach the higher shelves.
The Professor came to check on Kif. "We'll take care of Kif...he'll be fine. In the mean time, I have an important friend I want you to meet with.
Amelia turned as she heard a basketball bounce in the hallway; there stood Bubblegum Tate of the Harlem Globetrotters. "I'm usually called out on a mathematics emergency," Tate told them, "but it looks like you've ended up in a physics shim-sham." Tate passed the ball to Amelia, who quickly reacted and caught it. "My, my...you do have some reflexes. That's a good start."
Amelia passed the ball back to Tate. "Professor, what is he talking about?"
"Good news, everyone..."
"You did what?" shouted Amelia. "You put our lives on the line over a basketball game?"
Amy, after the game, he dies.
I may kill him before the game starts, Leela...I'm bigger and stronger now. I could probably smash his head in my hands like a cantaloupe.
Wait up, sister - gotta give him a chance to fix us first. Then I'll help you kill him.
"Oooh, I'm so sorry," the Professor pleaded. "I've just got to have what's written in that book to help you two. Dr. Tate has some ideas that can help us win the game."
"Now hold up a minute...I can help, but I can't make miracles happen." Tate looked around the room, and spotted something. "Amy, is this your party board?"
Tate turned the switch on, and quickly slid it across the floor to Amelia. Instinctively, she jumped up and landed on the board; her balance was nearly perfect. "Aha...just as I suspected. You were quite skilled at this, weren't you?"
"Twelve major awards, including a trophy from the Arcadia Run on Mars," said Amelia.
"But I take it that was just the one half of you."
"Yeah," she said, "little bit here is the one that won the awards."
Hey! I'm not that little.
"Just as I thought." He then picked up the basketball and threw it to Amelia, who caught it. "So the other half is the baller and the shot-caller."
"Uh, Tate," Amelia asked as she shot the ball back, "is this going to get us back to normal? Both of us?"
"That's the idea..."
Leo and Inez Wong had been waiting quite some time in the Martian Sizzler Steakhouse. Amelia finally showed up to meet them. "So," Inez complained, "where you been? Your father and I have been here nearly an hour."
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Wong...I was practicing basketball and lost track of the time."
"Mrs. Wong? I'm your mother. And basketball? That what your friend Leela do."
"Leela should have come too," Leo added. "They got good canal eel here."
Amelia shot them a confused look. "Gleesh-maneesh...didn't the Professor explain?"
"Yeah, yeah...he try to explain." Inez moved in closer. "You still able to give us babies, right? You not infertile..."
Amelia got a mean look on her face. "As far as I am aware, Mrs. Wong, I can still have babies. Thanks for asking."
"Oh, not a problem," she said. "Just wanted to know everything still worked."
"The Martian whitefish is really good here too," Leo informed them.
"Leela," Inez told her, "I gonna need to speak to my daughter alone...you need to go off somewhere for a little bit."
This prompted an angry look from Amelia. "Now Mrs. Wong, you know damn well that I can't do that; I can't just wander off to the powder room or something. We're all a package deal - you get one, and you get the other. And I'm not really comfortable with this dinner tonight anyway...maybe we can do this another night." Amelia got up to leave, and then turned back to Inez - in Cantonese she told her, "I'm sorry, mama...I'll try to call you later." With that, she left the restaurant. A tear welled up in Inez's eye. "Wo bu ming bai...I don't understand..."
"I like the idea of the whitefish," Leo continued, "with the hot peppers on the side." Inez punched him hard on the arm. "Oww...why you hit me?"
Amelia made her way out to the street, and looked around. She wiped a tear out of her eye, and suddenly got a smile on her face. "To hell with Martian food," she proudly announced, "how about some Jovian barbecue, you guys?"
What - is there a third driver in here? Amy, do you eat Jovian barbecue?
I never have...how about you Leela?
I've never had it. The stuff looks horrible. Now, if you didn't want it, and I didn't want it, who did? And how did we get to be known as 'you guys'?
Amelia smiled. "Come on, you two - lighten up...give it a chance. You may like it."
"Wakey, wakey," chimed Fry. He turned on the light to the lounge and Amelia covered her eyes...she'd slept on the couch after she came in.
"What the hell are you doing, you little pest of a man?"
"I brought your favorite...well, actually, both of your favorites. I've got a Martian latte and a Kenya AA from Starbugs - you can decide amongst yourselves."
"I don't drink that swill - I drink Brazilian nut cream, twerp. Give it to someone else."
Fry scratched his head.
Now that was downright rude, Amelia...he at least thought of us. Right Amy?
Darn right, Leela. That's our friend, punk. Who the hell died and left you in charge?
A worried looking Fry put the coffees on the table. "Uh, Professor...Professor?"
"Isn't she ready yet?" asked Bubblegum Tate. "We need to practice more if we're gonna be ready for the game."
"You'll get her soon enough," the Professor assured him.
"Is she throwing things around in your lab?" Tate asked.
"Uh, we have some things to settle...give me a few minutes."
"Get in here you little toad! You and I have some things to talk about!" She grabbed Farnsworth by his smock, and pulled him back into the lab. "I know what you're up to."
She pulled him up close to her face. "No...I told you that my name is Amelia."
"Oh, dear heavens - I knew this would happen." He mustered a phony, weak smile. "Uh, didn't you want to play basketball with Mr. Tate?"
"I'm not stupid, and I know when I've been lied to. I know about your book...if you win it back, then I go away! I'm not stupid. I don't want to go away!"
Nuts, Amy...I hate not being in charge here...we've got to hijack ourselves back.
Leela, I have an idea - Fry is still over there. Start thinking of some passionate thoughts of Fry...
Trust me on this. Really sweet, romantic thoughts...
Amelia looked over to Fry, who was standing in the corner of the lab. "Fry? Philip Fry?"
His mouth dropped open. "Yes?"
Amelia let go of the Professor's lab coat, and slowly walked over to Fry. "Philip...you won't let this old man make me go away, will you? I don't want to go away. I just want to live like the rest of you guys."
Good gravy Amy, it's working.
Fry didn't know what to do or say; he knew whatever he said had to count. "Amelia...I don't know much about this kind of stuff...but I know that it's important for you to play in this game. I don't have many friends in this life, but I know that two of them are trapped in a place that they don't want to be. They're scared, and we're scared for them. Maybe the Professor can work something out between the three of you, but we'll never find out until we win that book."
"Amelia is like a child," whispered Tate to the Professor.
"Really, like a new-born babe...and a dangerous one at that."
Amelia sadly looked back over at the Professor. "I didn't want to hurt two other people...I never thought of that. I just wanted to be alive, like all of you. If I help you get the book, do you promise to try and help all of us so we're not lost anymore?"
"When I get the book, no one will be lost anymore...I promise."
Bubblegum Tate placed a basketball in Amelia's hands. "Amelia, I'm gonna finish your training today...but you've got to let your two other friends in there help during the game."
Mom had forgotten how uncomfortable she was at sporting events. And she was getting tired of waiting for the Planet Express team. She looked over at the referee. "Go ahead and forfeit the game if they're not here in ten minutes."
"Hey, lady...you do your job, and I'll do mine."
Over in the booth, the head of Marv Albert did the broadcast with the head of former Indiana coach Bobby Knight; Bobby had the advantage of having his jar attached to a robot body. "Quite a lot of talk about Planet Express being a no-show here tonight at Madison Cube Gardens, Bobby...wait a minute - well, speak of the devil...here they are. A little late, but they are here."
"It looks like they got rid of their star forward Turanga Leela, Marv...I hope they know what they're doing. The other girl is gone too..." Bobby Knight was handed a slip of paper. "It says here that their new forward is named Amelia. Amelia Schmeltzer...from Brazil. I wonder if that's Brazil Indiana, or just Brazil..."
"Sorry to interrupt, Bobby, but Mom of Mom's Friendly Robots is on about something on the floor."
Mom waved her arms in anger. "You cheated Hubert! Who the hell is this? Is this a trick? I'm calling off the game!"
Farnsworth defiantly stood his ground, flanked by Bubblegum Tate. "You and Ogden agreed to the terms of the game! You don't have a leg to stand on...the game goes on as planned! Isn't that right, Bubblegum."
"That's right...you guys dug your own hole, and you just fell into it."
"I wish those guys would just get the hell back in their seats and let their teams play," barked Bobby Knight. His robot body stood up. "Get back in your seats, you #$@* idiots!!"
The referee blew the whistle that started the game.
"I don't know what I'm doing out here," Amelia mumbled to herself.
Amelia, just sit back and let Amy and I do our stuff...we'll let you know what to do.
Leela's right...just give us control of your arms and legs - sit back and enjoy the ride.
Fry got the tip-off. He passed it to Hermes, who passed it to Amelia. Amelia charged to the hoop and then did something that amazed Mom's sons - she flew through the air to the basket, and slammed the ball home.
"You imbeciles," Mom shouted, "why didn't you stop her?"
Walt now had the ball. He made a jump shot, but he put too much power behind it - as it came flying back, Amelia caught it. She dribbled, and shot from the three-point line.
"Holy Toledo Bobby, she got a three from downtown."
Far from being a runaway game, it was tied up at several points in the first half; at least two of Mom's three sons were fairly good players. Planet Express only led by two points at the half. Instead of holding her head high like the mighty athlete she was, Amelia's head was down when she entered the locker room.
What's the matter, kiddo? Amy and I are worried about you.
"I'm just feeling sad...and scared about what's going to happen to me after the game."
Oh, kid...you can't let your end drop now. You've got to get us through the game.
"Do you think he can help all of us? Does he really mean it?"
Fry leaned over to Tate. "Man, it's sure creepy seeing her talk to the air like that."
Tate shook his head in agreement. "If we could only hear that whole conversation."
Mom meanwhile was taking out her anger on her sons in the other locker room. When she calmed down enough to speak with Walt, she looked him in the eyes. "Walt, I'm really depending on you...we always win this thing. You remember how we've done it in years past - start, you know, playing dirty. You've got to help me with this...your two idiot brothers couldn't tie their own shoes if they had a roadmap and three days to do it with." The two looked over at her. "Yeah, you brain-wipes heard me."
"You can depend on me, Mother..."
At the sound of the buzzer, Amelia came out like a whole new person; she got back into the game, and tried not to think about what would come after. Despite aggressive defense play by Walt and Larry, she made several more flights to the rim.
As the second half progressed, Bender got more and more enthusiastic about coaching from the sideline - he was warned on more than one occasion by Bobby Knight to keep off of the floor. Finally, Bobby's patience wore thin as he charged over to confront the robot.
"Listen, Tin Man, get your goat-smelling butt off of the floor!"
"Hey...I don't remember asking you..."
Before Bender could finish his sentence, he was picked up by Bobby and flung across the floor. Bobby threw up his mechanical hands in anger as he was yelled at by the referee.
Mom began to bite her nails as the game wound down into its final minute and a half. She kept waiting for her son to do something, and thought that he never would. Finally, as Amelia went up for a shot, Walt elbowed her in the face; she hit the ground and was knocked out cold. Farnsworth scrambled over to help her out; as the Professor lifted her eyelids and looked into her eyes, he gave Mom a cold stare. "I hope you're happy," he told her.
"That's the problem with you, Hubert...we have always played to win - you've never had that killer instinct. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen!"
Amy, what was the number of that truck that just hit us?
Gleeshes...hit us? Funny that you would put it that way. We can definitely feel her pain.
All I know is that if they don't get her up, we'll be living in Amelia's back pocket for the rest of our lives..we'd better get used to Brazilian nut creams and Jovian barbecue. Wake up kid!
As the result of the foul, Walt was tossed from the game. Another flunkie from Momcorp was ready to take his place. The coach then went over to tell the Professor that he needed a substitution.
"Oooh, ooh..." Bender began to wave his arms. "Can I go in? Bubblegum, you know I've always wanted to be a Globetrotter. Can I?"
"Great sea snakes of the Outer Banks," Hermes blurted out, "he can't play...can he?"
"Go on in, Metal Man. I don't know if they'll take you."
Marv and Bobby talked about it in the booth. "It's unprecedented," said Bobby, "but hell, I've got a robot body now. The University of Mars has a pop machine as their center, but he's got concrete hands..."
The coach looked over at Mom. "It's up to you...if both sides agree on it, then it's within the regulations."
Mom got a toothy smile. "What the hell...they're going to lose anyway. I'll let it happen."
As play resumed, Bender surprised everyone...he actually wasn't a bad player at all. While he really couldn't dribble that well with his robot hands, he proved to be a fairly decent free throw shooter. Planet Express drew a foul; Bender was able to make one free throw, but missed the other. After the rebound, Fry was able to steal the ball away and pass it to Bender for the alley-oop. Bender's legs extended several feet and he popped the ball into the net. The buzzer sounded. Planet Express had won 89 - 88.
Mom jumped up and down in anger. "You saw what he did - you saw that! They cheated!"
Bobby Knight stood up at the booth and pointed to Mom. "Listen, lady, you agreed to let Planet Express here put a robot into the game. Now, sit down and shut up!"
Bender was deliriously happy. Bubblegum Tate walked up to him holding a Globetrotter uniform shirt, which he presented to him. "I believe this makes you an honorary Harlem Globetrotter," he told him.
Professor Farnsworth walked over to Wernstrom and Mom, who were still in shock. He held out his hand. "The book, please..." As it was handed to him, he said, "This is going to help two people greatly. Ogden, I promise to get this back to you when I'm done. And as for you, Mom, when it comes to helping out my friends, I guess I really don't have that killer instinct."
Fry peeked in on Amelia back at the Planet Express building; she was still sitting in Dr. Zoidberg's office with a bag of ice on her eye. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I got you a Brazilian nut cream coffee...I figured it would make you feel better."
Amelia's one eye looked up at him as she accepted the coffee. "Philip, why does life have to hurt so much?"
"I don't know how to answer that."
"Philip," she said sadly, "I'm going to miss you most of all."
"Oh, don't say that...we'll all be together again."
Professor Farnsworth peaked into the office. "Amelia, it's time."
As Amelia got closer to the booth, she began to have second thoughts again. She kicked and shouted as Fry and the Professor forced her into the transport booth; she slammed her hands on the glass as they closed the chamber. The Professor sprinted over to the panel to start the procedure.
"Why are you doing this?" pleaded Amelia. "Why do I have to die? I don't want to die."
Because we don't want to die either...isn't that right, Amy...we've got a right to go back to our bodies.
Amelia...you'll never really be gone - you'll always be a part of us...you're not going anywhere...
"Really? You promise? I don't want to go away...I don't...
Amelia...Amy and I promise...
"Okay...I trust you two...you guys are alright. You were always fair with me."
Amelia calmed down and quit crying. Resolved to her fate, she looked over at Fry and tried to smile. She gave him a weak wave with her fingers. The two watched as her body turned into a bright ball of red light inside the chamber, and then slowly vanished.
In Fred Pohl Park, no one really noticed as two flashes of light appeared. Leela looked around, and made a happy arm pump. "Yesss!" She then looked over at Amy, who was sobbing. She walked over to talk with her. "What's the matter, sis?"
"Leela...we killed her. We let her die. She was someone, and we lied to her."
"Amy, we didn't lie to her at all...she will always be a part of us. Until the day we die."
"What do we do now?"
"Well, there's a Starbugs coffee nearby. Let's grab a coffee. Oh, crap - almost forgot." Leela tapped a message on her wrist thingee letting everyone know that the experiment was a success.
The two walked into Starbugs, and Leela stepped up to order. "I know, I know - you want a Martian latte, without sweetener, half-caf."
"No," Amy interjected, "not today. How about a Brazilian nut cream."
Leela held up two fingers, and the barista served up two cups. After paying, Amy and Leela held up their cups in a toast. "To Amelia," they said.
"You were right," said Amy, "She always will be a part of us. You know that you've got a shiner on your eye..."
"Yeah, as do you. I can even feel her inside of me...can you?"
"Yes," answered Amy.
"What is she thinking?"
Amy thought a second. "She's thinking, 'we're not lost anymore.' She's happy."
Leela's wrist thingee suddenly chimed. "Hello? Oh, it's you, Professor. We're all back in one piece. What did you need?"
The Professor's ancient face filled the screen. "I just wanted to know if you two needed to be transported back to the lab..."
The girls looked at each other. "Absolutely not," Leela told him. "We're taking the tube home!" They looked at each other again and chuckled.
"Dr. Zoidberg, I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice." Morgan Proctor took another swig out of her glass, and crunched up her face. She then clunked the glass back down on the desk. "By the way, this is really powerful...uh, stuff...what did you call it again?"
"Young lady, that happens to be Decapodian fish whiskey...made from real fish, I tell you. A veritable nectar of the gods on my world. I always keep a bottle in the office, for medicinal purposes of course - I wouldn't abuse it. Now, as you were saying?"
"Oh, yes...of course. Anyway, there is an intern here at Planet Express named Amelia Schmeltzer. Big, tall woman, tall as a tree...dark purple hair. Now, I'm not making this up, and I'm not delusion...delusional. I met her at the coffee shop next door. She is real, I swear."
"Young woman, I've been on my home planet on vacation, I'm telling you. I don't want to brag, but I was considered for an acting part, even. Nothing big - just a little song and dance number. But since I've been back, I've searched my medical records...we have not a shred of evidence of an Amelia anybody..."
"Dr. Zoidberg, people don't just disappear. I met her...she's real." She then tapped her glass with her finger.
"Would you like another glass, Morgan?"
"He say, 'One and one and one is three',
Got to be good looking cos he's so hard to see
Come together right now over me."
lyrics John Lennon