Onboard a D.O.O.P head communications cruiser
voice on walkie although not on walkie (come on you must have got it
by now, if not I’ll tell you next time he speaks and I’ll
tell you everyone else as well): You idiot, he was standing still and
hair looks like it’s burnt by the sun I mean it’s
practically on fire.
Sorry sir. He blinded me with the hair. Don’t worry I’ll
get him next time.
There’s not going to be a next time.
You may be wondering why I called you to the ships bridge while it’s
being fitted with a self destruct button. Well I’ll tell you.
I’m going to destroy the ship while I escape with Kiph from the
escape pod here on the bridge. So without further aduurr I give you
the self destruct button. Lets go Kiph
Note) Unlike most people in this stupid age I’m sure you all know
that it is a big green hexagonal button.
Uhh, very well sir
Zapp and Kiph escape the massive explosion destroys the D.O.O.P
ship, a nearby asteroid belt where the asteroids are filled with
highly explosive fuel which destroyed two nearby spiderian moons
covered with highly flammable and explosive silk tapestries which
destroyed 5 nearby planets which destroyed another 10 planets which
in turn meant Zapp had destroyed an entire Galaxy. Thank Zombie Jesus
it wasn’t ours.
outside the white house
Cool: Oh my God were gonna have to break up Green Day
Mike Dirnt: Yeah I mean without him our songs don’t even make sense
Fry: Hey why don’t I just take his place?
Mike and Tre: Yeah why not I mean other wise were gonna have break up
In a town square somewhere in Dallas right next then border
Fry: St Jimmy’s comedown across the alley way
Upon the blvd like a zip gone on parade
Life’s on the silhouette
Coming at you on the count 1, 2
Audience: 1, 2, 3, 4
Zapp: If you want job done right you have to do it yourself
Kiph: Sir I must remind you that you failed sniper training so bad they had
to make the Z- grade I mean your score was -3451 the lowest in history
Zapp: Shut up Kiph
Kiph: Uhh yes sir
Zapp: I said shut up
Zapp takes the shot. With a pling it rebounds of the stage and drives into
the head of Richard Nixon who is sitting in audience
Zapp: Kiph quick to the escape pod
An escape pod comes up thru the building their on
Fry: Wow someone killed the president
Tre: That’s for sure
Mike: Come lets get outta here
Green Day leave the state and fly back to NNY in a private plane just over the state line
Back on another D.O.O.P ship which Zapp has yet to blow up
Zapp: Quick Kiph hand me the big pink triangle button
Kiph: Here sir
Zapp presses the button which destroys the entire state of Dallas killing everyone in the state, luckily Green Day were back in NNY
Linda (On TV): Millions were shocked tonight when the entire state of Dallas mysteriously blew up today
(Also on TV): The puny humans were listening to their puny human band
Green Day when the state blew up. Luckily their were no survivors
other than the band
In a town square in NNY
Fry: Do you have the time
To listen to whine
About nothing and everything all at once
I am one of those melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it
Assassin: Don’t worry sir I won’t miss
Zapp: You better not. Do you know what happened to the last assassin who failed me
Assassin: Yeah you blew up a galaxy to kill him
Zapp: Um yes
Assassin: One shot, one kill
He takes the shot and kills Tre Cool by mistake
Zapp: You idiot, you missed
Assassin: Uh bye...
The Assassin legs it and Zapp blows him up with a big black octagonal
button which has been linked to his suit. Detecting a pattern here?
Well now Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool, Richard Nixon, the state have
Dallas, a galaxy and two Assassins have been blown up or killed to
get to Fry. Who’s gonna get next? Stay tuned for the next and
last part of the stroy.