Fan Fiction

Green Fry, part 2
By Michael-John Derges

Onboard a D.O.O.P head communications cruiser

Other voice on walkie although not on walkie (come on you must have got it by now, if not I’ll tell you next time he speaks and I’ll tell you everyone else as well): You idiot, he was standing still and hair looks like it’s burnt by the sun I mean it’s practically on fire.

Assassin: Sorry sir. He blinded me with the hair. Don’t worry I’ll get him next time.

Zapp: There’s not going to be a next time.

Assassin: Wha...wha...what

Zapp: You may be wondering why I called you to the ships bridge while it’s being fitted with a self destruct button. Well I’ll tell you. I’m going to destroy the ship while I escape with Kiph from the escape pod here on the bridge. So without further aduurr I give you the self destruct button. Lets go Kiph

Writers Note) Unlike most people in this stupid age I’m sure you all know that it is a big green hexagonal button.

Kiph: Uhh, very well sir

As Zapp and Kiph escape the massive explosion destroys the D.O.O.P ship, a nearby asteroid belt where the asteroids are filled with highly explosive fuel which destroyed two nearby spiderian moons covered with highly flammable and explosive silk tapestries which destroyed 5 nearby planets which destroyed another 10 planets which in turn meant Zapp had destroyed an entire Galaxy. Thank Zombie Jesus it wasn’t ours.

Meanwhile outside the white house

Tre Cool: Oh my God were gonna have to break up Green Day

Mike Dirnt: Yeah I mean without him our songs don’t even make sense

Fry: Hey why don’t I just take his place?

Mike and Tre: Yeah why not I mean other wise were gonna have break up

Fry: Yahoo!!!

In a town square somewhere in Dallas right next then border

Fry: St Jimmy’s comedown across the alley way
     Upon the blvd like a zip gone on parade
     Life’s on the silhouette
     He’s insubordinate
     Coming at you on the count 1, 2

Audience: 1, 2, 3, 4

Zapp: If you want job done right you have to do it yourself

Kiph: Sir I must remind you that you failed sniper training so bad they had to make the Z- grade I mean your score was -3451 the lowest in history

Zapp: Shut up Kiph

Kiph: Uhh yes sir

Zapp: I said shut up

Zapp takes the shot. With a pling it rebounds of the stage and drives into the head of Richard Nixon who is sitting in audience

Zapp: Kiph quick to the escape pod

An escape pod comes up thru the building their on

Fry: Wow someone killed the president

Mike: Bummer

Tre: That’s for sure

Mike: Come lets get outta here

Green Day leave the state and fly back to NNY in a private plane just over the state line

Back on another D.O.O.P ship which Zapp has yet to blow up

Zapp: Quick Kiph hand me the big pink triangle button

Kiph: Here sir

Zapp presses the button which destroys the entire state of Dallas killing everyone in the state, luckily Green Day were back in NNY

Linda (On TV): Millions were shocked tonight when the entire state of Dallas mysteriously blew up today

Morbo (Also on TV): The puny humans were listening to their puny human band Green Day when the state blew up. Luckily their were no survivors other than the band

In a town square in NNY

Fry: Do you have the time
     To listen to whine
     About nothing and everything all at once
     I am one of those melodramatic fools
     Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it

Assassin: Don’t worry sir I won’t miss

Zapp: You better not. Do you know what happened to the last assassin who failed me

Assassin: Yeah you blew up a galaxy to kill him

Zapp: Um yes

Assassin: One shot, one kill

He takes the shot and kills Tre Cool by mistake

Zapp: You idiot, you missed

Assassin: Uh bye...

The Assassin legs it and Zapp blows him up with a big black octagonal button which has been linked to his suit. Detecting a pattern here?

Well now Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool, Richard Nixon, the state have Dallas, a galaxy and two Assassins have been blown up or killed to get to Fry. Who’s gonna get next? Stay tuned for the next and last part of the stroy.