Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by...
Go-a-Green-a: Earth! We only have one! Take care of it! Or... I'll destroy you will my, uh, environmentalism! And my, er, shipper powers!
Announcer: Do you mean- Super Powers?
Go-a-Green-a: Yeah, sure, whatever works for ya....
Caption: Love The Planet... or ELSE!
Opening cartoon: Homer Simpson is being crushed by an elephant.
(Fry is sitting alone in his and Bender's apartment with a pen in his left hand and a pad of paper in his right)
(Bender enters, whistling)
Bender: Hey, meatbag!
Fry: (startled) Oh, uh, hey, Bender... What up?
Bender: You should know.... You've been writing anonymous letters to Leela, haven't you?! Admit it! (he points dramatically at Fry)
Fry: Aaah! Bender! Quit doing that! It's no big deal... I just wanted to know what Leela really likes, you know-so next time I ask her out I know what might make her say yes.
Bender: Well... how'd you write that? It was, well she said that it was poetic.
Fry: I dunno. I just wrote what was in my head.
Bender: Really? 'Cause I always thought your head was, you know, special.
Fry: There's a lot of things that I can do that even I didn't know about! Maybe some of the tune-ups that those worms gave me are still in effect.
Bender: Oh, yeah? And just what can you do?
Fry: Well, for starters I made that pie you're standing in.
(Bender lifts up his foot cuff and blue goo drips off)
Bender: Yes, well I'm sure it was great but I wouldn't be able to enjoy it anyway because I can't taste.
Fry: This is the future! Isn't there some sort of up-grade you can get so you can taste?
Bender: That's the one kind of technology that they never perfected.... (He walks away with his head down) (Fry shrugs and writes some more)
(Leela is sleeping in her apartment when the doorbell rings)
Leela: (drowsy) Ugh. Fine. I'm up already.
(she opens the door)
(There is a silver mailbot on the other side)
Mailbot: Letter for a Miss Turanga Leela.
Leela: That'd be me.
Mailbot: Okay, ma'am. Sign here.
(he hands her a clipboard. She signs)
Leela: (closing the door) Ooh! I bet it's from my admiror!
(She tears it open)
Leela: (reading) My dearest Leela, there are no words to describe how wonderful you are. They say that no one is perfect, that we all have our flaws. I know that I could fill an entire city with mine but even though it has been proven that no one in our universe is perfect I argue that you are. I am not enough for you.
(Leela puts down the page and a tear rolls down her cheek)
The next day.
(Leela and Amy are watching TV in the lounge)
Amy: So... as he written you another one yet?
Leela: I thought you'd never ask! Yes, he has! Here, take a look. (She hands the letter to Amy)
Leela: Doesn't he sound great? I wonder who he is....
Amy: (hands the letter back to Leela) Yeah, I wonder.
Leela: Well, all I know is that this guy may just be the one. Oh, he must really love me!
Amy: (thinking) Hm, there's only one person I know that loves her that much. (She looks closer at the letter and notices a hair stuck to the back of it. Carefully, she plucks it off the letter) (talking) Uh, I have to go.
Leela: (Still gazing at the letter in a trance) Huh? Oh, okay. See you.
(Amy walks down the hallways of Planet Express, she passes Bender)
Amy: Hey, Bender. Have you seen Fry?
Bender: Huh? Oh yeah, he's in the Professor's inventing room. Now if you'll excuse me, I have stuff to raid!
(Amy arrives at the inventing room to find Fry on a chair, writing something down)
Amy: Hey, Fry.
(Fry jumps, falling off the chair and landing in a heap on the floor)
Fry: (hiding his writing utensils) Oh, uh, hi, Amy. W-what are y-you doing here?
Amy: Look, I know that you wrote those letters.
Fry: WHAT!? But-how-
Amy: Who else does Leela know with orange hair? (she holds up the strand of hair that she found on the letter)
Fry: Okay, fine! It was me. I just wanted to know what kind of guy I'd have to be in order for Leela to love me.
Amy: But she loves everything about those letters, and if you wrote them then wouldn't that imply that she loves you as well?
Fry: She loves 'em because she doesn't know that I wrote 'em. If she found out she wouldn't like the letters anymore then she likes me.
Amy: Well, you gotta tell her sometime! She said that whoever wrote the letters is 'the one'. That would mean that YOU'RE 'the one' and you have been all along!
Fry: I know, I know, and I will tell her but- just not now, okay? I need to make sure that she really does love whoever writes those letters... even if that someone is me.
Amy: Oh, alright. I won't tell either as long as you promise that you will eventually.
Fry: Thank you.
Amy: *sigh* ... No problem.
(a hologram of the Professor appears out of nowhere in the middle of the room.
Prof: Good news, everyone! You have to make a delivery to planet Glorbonia, a little verdant death-hole filled with horrible monsters that will eat you alive! Well, off you go. Enjoy!
(The hologram disappears)
Fry: And another work day begins.
Author's note: Yes, I'm a bit of an environmentalist so that beginning was necessary! My next continuation will contain a little more of that... just thought I'd give you a heads up.