Fan Fiction

When Futurama Meets Starcraft, Part 5
By Desmond

(Scene: Inside Kamikaze.)

John: Guys, we are above the Dominion Base. Ready to crash!

Fry: (Extend his hand into the air.) Woo!!

(Cut to: Dominion base, ground.)

Missile Turret01: Raynor’s Raider’s Dropship! Fire the missiles.

Missile Turret02: Die, die, die!

Marine01: Ahhahahahah! (Firing his Gauss Rifle into the sky.)

(Cut back to: Inside Kamikaze.)

John: (Presses a blue button labeled “Blow”.) Prepare for a rough landing.

(Cut to: Outside Kamikaze.)

(The flare ignites and sparks fly from it. Kamikaze shook and spins violently. )

Missile Turret01: We hit them, they are going down!

(Cut back to: Inside Kamikaze.)

Fry: Where is the toilet in this ship?

Andrea: Use the bag underneath your seat.

John: 5 meters, 4 meters, 3 meters, 2, meters, 1 meter, touch down!

(Cut to: Outside Kamikaze. It lands and lowers the ramp.)

Fry: (Riding the Vulture.) Turn the wheel left, Vulture goes left; turn the wheel right, Vulture goes right. Ouhhhhh! (Fry vomits.)

John and Andrea: I knew I should have taken vomiting into consideration.

Leela: (Riding the other Vulture.) This wasn’t so hard, hey this is easier than driving a space ship.

Andrea: Good work Leela, we will be on our way after John blows up this ship.

John: Lieutenant, the explosives are in place.

(Andrea pushes a button on a remote control and Kamikazi exploded.)

Fry: So where is the Dominion base again?

John: That way. (He hops onto Fry’s Vulture and Andrea hops onto Leela’s Vulture. They speed away, leaving behind their destroyed Dropship.)


(Scene: In a forest beside the top of the cliff; Dominion base is near the bottom of the cliff.)

Andrea: All right, this is close enough to the base. Fry, Leela, stay behind the trees, John scout forward. (Andrea pressed a button on her combat suit and she became invisible.)

Fry: Wow, she really disappeared.

Leela: How did she do that?

John: You know, you can still see us if you use the friendly unit perception screen.

(Fry and Leela pressed a button on their combat suit and they saw the transparent John and Andrea. They are pointing their C-10 Canister Rifles at the base.)

Speaker: Nuclear Launch detected.

Fry: (Whispers) Leela, you are going to see the biggest and the best explosion you ever witnessed.

Leela: (Whispers) Did our speaker just say Nuclear Launch?

Fry: Yea.

Leela: (Whispers) We are so close to the base and we are using a nuclear bomb! We will get killed as well.

Fry: (Whispers) Leela, it is your depth perception again. We are way out of the blast radius.

(Andrea sighs suddenly, her head turns to Fry and Leela.)

Andrea: Fry, Leela, hide behind those boulders. Dominion Marines are coming.

Fry: Oh, all right.

John: There are 3 of them.

Leela: What are you planning to do?

Andrea: Nope, you guys are going to kill them.

Fry: So we are on our own in this fight.

John: Exactly.

Fry: I got my Causs Rifle loaded.

Leela: Remember Leela, be impulsive, be impulsive, be impulsive.

(One Marine and two Light Marine came out of the forest and stood on the side of the cliff.)

Light Marine01: So where are those trash bags that Corporal ordered us to kill?

Marine: He said that they are somewhere near here.

Light Marine02: Careful that you may trip over one, Corporal said that they are Ghosts.

Light Marine01: If they even dare to fly above our base, they are pretty much a bunch of morons.

Fry: (Looks angry.) Who are they calling moron?

Marine: Hey, who is that?

Leela: Oh no, they spotted us. (Leela smiles.) I will be back in a second.

Fry: Where are you going?

Leela: To get impulsive. (Leela went for her Vultures.)

Marine: You two split up, that way we will cover more area.

Light Marine02: We know that.

(Leela hopped onto her Vulture and drives it full speed toward one of the Light Marines.)

Light Marine01: What the! (The Vulture hits him, and he fell off the cliff.)

Leela: Well, that is one. Wow, I never realized that I could kill a human.

Light Marine02: (Pointing his Causs Rifle at Leela’s head.) You are dead, big nose.

Leela: If I can help it. (Leela grabs the Light Marine by the arm, twists it to his back, and kicks him off the cliff.) All right, don’t get too addictive.

(Cut to: Andrea and John.)

Andrea: Bombs sited, everyone turtle position.

Fry: Nah, I rather watch the bomb fall.

John: At least lower your visor.

Fry: Nah.

John: All right.

Marine: (Appeared out of the wood, and sees Fry.) You are dead, rebel bo-… (Saw the descending nuclear bomb.) Holy shi*, nuclear bomb!!!!!

(The bombs struck the Dominion base and two mushroom clouds appeared after the explosion. Fry and the Marine got knocked to the floor by the shockwave.)

Marine: (Stands up.) Johnny, no! (Appear to be very angry, points his Causs Rifle at Fry’s head.) You are dead, you sons of a bitc*.

(The Marine is about to pull the trigger, Leela jumped out of a bush kicked the Causs Rifle out of the Marine’s hand kicked him off the cliff.)

Andrea: Fry, are you all right?

Fry: All right? I just saw the biggest explosion in my life, and I also got such a great lift for my hair. (Fry’s hairs are all pointing backward.)

Leela: You almost got killed. (Saw the destroyed base.) I thought there was once a military base there.

John: We nuked it.

Leela: Wow.

Voice: Good work Lt. Versailles. With the base destroyed, the Terran Dominion will now have less control over Moria.

Andrea: With pleasure, where is our Dropship?

Voice: The ship will arrive very soon.

Fry: Well, that is another mission well done.

Leela: (Sigh.) Well done. (Leela dips her head in shame.)

(Andrea looked at Leela, concerned.)


(Scene: Modification Room. Leela sat by the table looking sad.)

Andrea: I sensed that you feel guilty about killing those three Marines on Moria.

Leela: No, I am just tired.

Andrea: I am a telepath, you can’t lie to me.

Leela: So that’s how you read our minds. (Crying.) Ok, I do feel guilty; I can believe that I really killed 3 human beings today.

Andrea: Think of it this way, Leela. The three human beings you killed today would kill many, many more human being upon Moria if you don’t kill them. Technically, you saved many people today just by killing those three Marines.

Leela: What you are saying is that I shouldn’t feel guilty.

Andrea: Exactly.

Leela: But the memory of killing three human will linger in my mind forever.

Andrea: You will forget it eventually, after all time washes everything.

Leela: I guess, but thanks for reducing my guilt.

Andrea: You are welcome; after all when a friend needs help, you have to help them.


(Scene: Jail Room. Two guards are delivering food to Dominion Scientist Samir.)

Guard01: Dinnertime. By the way, we just busted up on of your base today!

Guard02: (Laughing) Good one, hahahah!

(Samir, slowly stalking the unsuspecting guards, waiting for a moment to strike. His moment came when the guards turned high five each other. Samir jumped up, grabbed the guards by their throat and broke them.)

Samir: Time to liberate the imprisoned Zerg. (He ran out the cell.)


(Scene: Inside Planet Express Ship. Fry is reading Bender’s pornography.)

Fry: Ohh, when is Bender going to come out? I am bored. I got to find a way to waste time. (Fry opened the fridge and found no more Slurms in the fridge.) No Slurm, nooo!!!!

(Fry ran around the ship)

Fry: What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? (Stop.) Wait, there are some Slurm I kept in the gun port!

(Cut to: gun port.)

Fry: (Drinking Slurm.) Ohh Slurm, the greatest drink in the galaxy! (Saw Samir running across the Hanger.) Hey, I thought that guy is imprisoned.

(Cut to: Hyperion Hallway. Fry caught up with Samir.)

Fry: Hey stop, where do you think you are going?

(Samir turned around and spit out a huge blob of green goo.)

Fry: (Covered by the green goo.) Ill! Gross! Please don’t tell me this is Ensnare! (Trying to chase Samir, but was glued onto the floor.) Help, I am stuck!

(Samir left.)

Fry: Help, somebody help, help!!!


(Scene: In the Modification Room.)

Andrea: (Received a shock) Something’s wrong!

Leela: What is it?

Andrea: Fry is in trouble!

Leela: Oh no…

Andrea: It is not the standard trouble, Fry is in danger.

Leela: As in…

(Red light is flashing through out the Battle Cruiser Hyperion, and all of a sudden the door leading to the Modification Room burst apart and 3 Hydralisks storm into the room.)

Leela: (Hiding behind a counter.) That idiot, he must have pushed the button that Bill told us not to press.

Andrea: (Jumps onto a pipe in sealing.) Whatever happened, I suggest that we should stay away from the Zerg until we are armed.

(The Hydralisk fires off a cluster of spines toward the counter where Leela is hiding for her dear life. Instead of hitting and killing Leela, she was sealed from the acidic spines by the thick aluminum counter.)

Leela: Help!

Andrea: Hold on. (Toss an ignited smoke bomb at the Hydralisks.)

Leela: What now?

Andrea: We will escape through the air circulation system to the main hanger. (Extends her hand.) Grab on!

(Leela grabbed Andrea’s arm and climbed into the air circulation system.)

Leela: Which way?

Andrea: (Pointing right.) That way, hurry!