Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Fu-trix, Part 3
By Mattybwoy

There was more bangs on the door.

"Open up!" the cops shouted.

"Oh God..." Leela said, "you didn't steal that book, did you?"

"No!" Fry replied quickly.

Leela gave him a piercing look.

"It was him!" Fry said, pointing an accusing finger at Bender, who was flicking through the guide.

"I know a way outta this!" Bender said. "Fry, press L1 and R2 at the same time!"

"Will that get Leela out?" Fry asked.

"Not exactly, but we'll get away from those cops!" Bender replied.

So Fry, guessing he had no choice, pressed the buttons. Then, the T.V turned into a portal again - and started sucking Fry and Bender in.

Soon, Fry and Bender found themselves right next to Leela.

"Oh, great, now who's gonna control us?" Leela asked, obviously getting really annoyed.

"We don't need controlling!" Fry said. He jumped, he ran around then jumped again. "We can control ourselves now!"

"O.K... so what do we do know?" Bender asked.

"Err..." Fry didn't know.

It didn't look like Bender brought the guide, so it looked like they had to figure it out themselves. He looked around. This place looked familiar...

"I know this place!" Fry exclaimed. "It's from a game on my old Dreamcast! This is from Soldier Of Fortune!"

"What the hell is Soldier Of Fortune?" Leela asked.

"It was as shooting game back in the 20th Century," Fry explained. "It was the goriest one there was!"

"Well, if it's a shooting game, where are the guns?" Bender asked.

"Uh... good point," Fry said. "Well, in most shooting games, you had to find the guns yourself!"

"What?" Bender said, "We have to find them ourselves?"

"Come on," Leela said, wielding a weapon, "just find one. I've got one already."

"We can see that," Fry said.

Then, suddenly, a swarm of enemies burst through the doors.

"Quick!" Leela shouted. "You find a weapon, I'll deal with these losers!"

"Aye, aye cap'n!" Fry said.

So they left Leela to deal with the 'losers'. She seemed to handle them pretty well. She took advantage of her martial arts skills as well as the gun. She didn't seem to fond of the gun - it wasn't a laser gun, after all.

Fry was right - this was gory! A shot to the head, and their head blew up. A shot to the leg, their leg came off, a shot to the nads... well, she wasn't sure what happened there. But they looked like Micheal Barrymore telling a bad joke.

Bender found an ordinary pistol - not to his standards, but hey, he could still take a life with it. He started to fire wildly at the soldiers, as Fry looked for a weapon of his own.

But soon, Leela's gun ran out of ammo. Not that she thought it was the worst thing in the world - she did know Martial Arts. So she ran up to the soldiers and took seven down in one kick.

At long last, all the soldiers were dead, leaving behind one hell of a bloody mess on the floor and on the walls. Plus, all over Leela.

"Hell! Blood is hell to get outta this top!" She complained.

"And they call that Artificial Intelligence?" Bender said.

A blue screen popped down from the ceiling. In green writing, it said:

'RESULTS FOR LEVEL ONE

LEELA: HEAD SHOTS: 34 ARM/LEG SHOTS: 13

STOMACH SHOTS: 18

NETHER REGiONS: 12 TOTAL KiLLS: 77

KiCKASS GiRL ("Alright!!!" said Leela)

BENDER: HEAD SHOTS: 2

ARM/LEG SHOTS: 9

STOMACH SHOTS: 1

NETHER REGiONS SHOTS: 16 ("16 shots right in the hard drive!!!" Bender said)

TOTAL KiLLS: 28

NUETUR - ATOR

FRY: HEAD SHOTS: 0 ARM/LEG SHOTS: 0

STOMACH SHOTS; 0 NETHER REGiONS: 0

TOTAL KiLLS: AiN'T THAT TOTALLY OBVIOUS?

LOSER

LEELA WiNS!!!!'

"Dang!" Fry said. "Always the loser."

"No wonder you didn't find a gun!" Leela said, looking at the bottom of the scoreboard. "This says there were only two guns!"

"No fair!" Fry exclaimed. "I can't do Martial Arts or Judo or whatever, and I'm not made of metal!"

"Come on meatbag, we've still got another 50 levels to go!" Bender said.

So, again, a portal appeared, sucking all three of them in.


"Excuse me?" Smitty said. "Don't fall asleep. You've still got questions to ask. Sir?"

"Awhua?" the Professor asked lazily.

"Where are they?"

"Who?"

"The shoplifters!"

The two Peace Officers, URL and Smitty had broken into the office. They planned to bombard the Professor with questions about the shoplifters' whereabouts, exact looks, habits, records and the like. At the minute, they were still trying to ask about their whereabouts without him falling asleep.

"What shoplifters?" the Professor asked. "Who are you? GET THE HELL OFF MY PROPERTY!!!"

"We'll only leave with the criminals, baby." URL replied.

Just then, Hermes entered. "Excuse me, what is going on here?"

"We're lookin for a robot and some red - headed b*****d," Smitty replied.

"You mean Fry and Bender?" Hermes said.

"Yeah, whatever their names are," URL said. "Baby."

"Well, I don't know where dey are!" Hermes said, eyeing the T.V.

"Then you dead beats are under arrest!" URL said.

"Dere dey are!" Hermes said, pointing at the T.V.

"What the hell..." Smitty said.


"O.K... now I definatly know this place!" Fry said. "This is Outworld!"

Vacant expressions from Bender and Leela.

"This is Mortal Kombat!"

"Don't you mean Mortal Kooperation?" Leela replied.

"No! That's from the future," Fry said. "Mortal Kombat was a fighting game. The goriest one there was!"

"Another gory game?" Bender said.

"That's why this is rated Mature!" Leela said.

"They still do the Mature rating?" Fry said.

"Yup," Leela answered. "Even after about 670 - odd years, they still do the same rating systems. WhipperSnappers, GreasyTeens, YoungAdults, ProperAldults, Elderly and Dead."

"Huh?" Fry said. "Elderly? What kind of rating...OOOOF!!!" Fry fell to the floor with a club beside him. Looks like somebody threw it at him.

"FRY!" Leela yelled, running up to him. "Are you alright?"

No reply. She looked closer. Big bump and all messed up. His hair was turning even more red - so was the floor around him. And the floor around them...

Leela checked his pulse and sighed with relief. "He's just knocked out."

"Then what's with all the red stuff?" Bender asked. "Look's like wine... mmm. Let me try some..."

"HA! You're all dead meat!" some deep voice growled. "One down... two to go..."

"Come on then!!!" Leela yelled, charging at him. She had a good thing going, but he dissapeared. Leela kicked thin air.

"If you wish to pass this area, then you'll have to win..." the mystery guy started. He then showed himself to be some guy with a skeleton helmet that stretched down to his mouth and spikes on his shoulders, "... THE TOURNAMENT!!!"

 

TO BE CONTiNUED, AGAiN...

Thanx for reading! Oh, and if you've read this, please, please rank it!!!

Buddies