The Car Chase By Rye Guy
This is my version of the Car Chase scene from The Matrix Reloaded.
Here are my character changes....
Neo - Fry
Trinity - Leela
Morpheus - Bender
The Keymaster - The Remote Master (carries several remote controls with him)
The Twins - The Triplets (Mom's three sons Walter, Larry, and Igner)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters. Futurama and all related
characters are property of Matt Groening. Matrix and all related characters
are property of The Wichouwski Brothers (if I spelled that correctly). "The
Thong Song" performed graciously by Cisco. All the characters and events potrayed
in this fic are purely fictional. Any similarity to any real people or events
would be really awesome! Also, I'm not a real fan of any of the Matrix films.
Actually, I hate all three movies. I think they are some of the worst movies
to have ever disgraced the silver screen. But, I do love making parodies of
them because parodies are always fun. So the movies sucked and the plot made no
freakin sense, but at least the special effect were cool. At least until
everybody else started doing the same effects. Then it got played out and started to
suck too. Let's just put it this way........Matrix and all related characters
and events suck to the highest power. Let us pray the Wichowski Brothers
never make any more films. And with all that legal tender out of the way, let's
get on with the car chase...................oh, by the way, I don't want any
Matrix fanboys sending me nasty e-mails because of this. We are all entitled to
our own opinion. Plus, it's all just in pure harmless fun. So let us put our
differences aside and focus on the best things in life the world has to
offer....like Futurama and girls. YAY!
Leela, Bender, and the Remote Master are being chased down the hall by the
Triplets.
"Quick! this way!" shouts Leela as she takes a left down another hallway.
Bender and the Remote Master follow.
"You sure you know where we're going?" asks Bender.
"Not really."
The Remote Master stops "Wait, I have an idea." He reaches for his ring of
remotes and grabs a small blue one. He aims it forward and presses the Channel
Track button. A small portal opens in front of him. "Follow me." He steps into
the portal and vanishes. Leela and Bender quickly jump in behind him.
Walter jumps for the portal, but it closes just before he reaches it and he
is sent rolling on the floor and hits the wall. He stands up and rubs his head
for a second. "They have escaped."
"Yes, they have." repeats Larry.
Walter straightens his coat and fixes his glasses. Her then transforms into a
semi-transparent, ghostlike form and phases through the floor. Larry and
Igner do the same.
Down in the parking garage, the portal opens and our heroes emerge from
within it.
"Good thinking." Leela congratulates and pats the Remote Master on the back.
Bender looks around "Uh, hey Leela. Where did we park?"
"The top floor, section Z. Why?"
Bender points up to a sign that reads 'Bottom Floor, Section A'. They both
look at the Remote Master, he shrugs.
"Don't blame me. I didn't know where you were going."
"Well, can you open a portal to take us up there?" asks Leela.
"No. The numbers on my remotes only go as high as 9 and Z is like number 26."
"Couldn't you just type 26 on the number pad or something?"
"Possibly, but if I did, there's a chance we could wind up tearing a hole in
the space-time continuom which would destroy everyone and everything in the
univer-" Bender cuts him off.
"We know what the space-time continuom is! It's only in every crappy sci-fi
movie that comes out! Now just type 26 and get us back to our ship!" orders
Bender, holding a gun to the Remote Master's face.
The Remote Master gulps nervously "Well, since you asked so nicely..." He
grabs a remote and presses the nuber 2 button. But before he can press the 6, the
remote is shot out of his hand. He jumps. "What was that?!"
They all look toward a nearby door to see the Triplets standing in the
doorway. Walter is holding up a gun.
"Now, unless you want me to do the same thing to your heads, I suggest you
hand over the Remote Master immediately." the targetting laser places a red dot
on Bender's forehead.
"Take him, he's your's"
"Bender!" shouts Leela.
"He's got a freaking gun aimed a my head! What the hell do you want me to do?"
Suddenly, Larry and Igner appear behind them with guns held to the back of
their heads. They lead the three to Walter. They stop at the doorway; Larry and
Igner join beside their brother.
Walter laughs maniacally "Well Leela, did the Oracle mention this part to
you?"
"Can't say that she did. But she did tell me that I have a mighty powerful
kick." she does a backflip and kicks the gun out of Walter's hand. As she lands
on her feet, she catches the gun. Bender slams the door, catching Igner's arm
in it. Igner shouts. Leela begins shooting his arm. He sreams in pain.
"Come on, let's go!" Leela and the others take off down the lot to an
elevator and close the door behind them as they start to ascend to the top floor.
Igner screams in pain "She shot my arm! Oh God it hurts!"
"Just phase through the door you idiot!" shouts Walter.
Igner phases through the door. When he does, the bullets in his arm fall to
the floor and his arm is back to normal. "Hey, it worked." Walter tries to slap
him, but his hand goes through Igner as he phases. Igner laughs "Ha Ha! You
can't slap me! you can't slap me!" he begins doing a little victory dance.
Butthe sound of a cocking gun makes him freeze and he sees Walter holding a gun to
his face.
"But I can catch you off guard." he shoots Igner in the head and his body
falls to the floor. "Come Larry." the two walk past Igner's lifeless body.
Igner then phases and the bullet in his head hits the floor. He gets up.
"Hey, that wasn't funny." he follows after his brothers.
Once the elevator has reached the top floor, our three heroes (well, two
heroes and one other guy) run out and make their way to the ship. The quickly
climb inside and Leela takes the helm (as usual). The Triplets phase up through
the floor just in time to watch the ship take off.
Walter sighs "We are getting annoyed."
"Yes we are." concures Larry.
"Must you always repeat what I say?"
"Sorry, I just wanted a speaking part."
"Yes well that's why you won't be in next sequel."
"Wait, what?"
Walter claps his hands and a pink hover convertible with a licensce plate
that reads 'MOMRULZ' flies up from the side of the building and lands before
them. "We'll just have to borrow Mom's car."
"Won't she get mad?" asks a scared and shivering Igner.
"Yes. But, we can blow it up for the insurance money after the chase."
Walter jumps in the driver's seat forcing Larry and Igner to squeeze together
in the back seat. He cranks up the engine and as he does, the radio begins
blasting.
"All night long. Let me see that thooong! Baby! That thong th-thong thong
thong!"
Walter turns off the radio.
"Hey, put it back, I like that song." whines Larry.
The car takes off in hot pursuit. of the others.
Leela looks in the rear view mirror and see the Triplets coming up on them
fast.
"Bender, they're going on us! Quick, get up in the gunner's station."
"Roger Wilko!" he salutes. Suddenly there's a loud explosion which rocks the
ship and smoke billows into the cockpit. Everyone coughs until the smoke
finally vents out of the bridge.
"What was that?" asks Leela frantically.
"They just shot the gunner's station. Now what?"
Leela smacks her head on the steering wheel in exasperation. "Fry...where are
you?" she mutters to herself. She lifts her head and smiles "I've got an
idea!"
The Triplets are now directly behind the ship. As Larry aims his gun to one
of the thrusters, he notices that the docking bay to the cargo hold is opening.
Bender is standing firmly on the platform with crates and other assorted
cargo behind him.
"Take this!" he tosses a large wooden crate at the car, but they manage to
dodge it. He then grabs a whole stack of dishes and begins throwing them like
frisbees. One hits the windshiels and put a large crack in it. Another smashes a
headlight and some more dent the front bumper. Bender then grabs a pepper
grinder. He holds it closely "I'll miss you most of all Grinder." He holds it
high above his head "Fly true loyal Grinder." He then hurls it like a spear
toward the car. It hits Igner in the face causing pepper to get all over him.
Igner sneezes, when he does though he accidentally phases through the bottom
of the car. He screams as he falls.
Larry grabs Walter by the shoulders "We have to catch him."
"We can't, there's no time. He's expendable anyways." the car speeds up and
gets right under the platform. The car quickly slies upwards and bumps the
platform, almost knocking Bender off.
"Try to throw me off will you? I'll show you!" Bender pulls a beer out of his
chest compartment and chugs the whole bottle in one gulp. He leaps and lands
on the hood of the car with bottle in hand. Larry tries to shoot him but
Bender does what he was built to do and bends the gun with ease and then smashes
the bottle on Larry's head. Then he grabs Larry and throws him out of the car.
"Now it's your turn you pale meatbag!"
"Hey, I'm not pale, I'm albino."
Bender shoves his hand through the side of the car and rips it back out.
Having ruptured the gas tank, gas begins flowing in a steady stream out through
the hole in the side of the car. Bender leans his head over the stream and
prepares for his patented flaming burp. With a loud belch a flame shoots from his
mouth and strikes the stream of gas. The fire traces up the stream as if it
were a fuse and reaches the gas tank. Bender jumps off the car just as it
explodes. All that can be heard is the sound of the car exploding and Walter
screaming curses at the robot for having foiled him.
Now falling at an incredible speed, Bender shuts his eyes as he does not want
to see the ground come closer. Then, he stops and feels himself flying
forward instead of down. He opens his eyes and find that he is indeed flying.
"I can fly? Awesome!"
"Sorry, that's me." replies a familiar voice.
Bender turns his head around and looks up to see that he's being carried by a
smiling Fry. The two fly back to the ship and enter in through the now badly
dinged cargo hold. Once inside, they immediately head into the bridge where
Leela is trying to pilot and look for Bender. The Remote Master and looking out
one of the windows. He sees the flaming remains of the car as it falls to the
ground far below, but no sign of their robot companion.
The door opens and Bender announces his safe return. "I'm back baby!"
"Bender?" asks Leela without looking over her shoulder to see him or Fry "How
did you make it back?"
"He had a little help." replies Fry. Leela slowly turns around. Her face
glows with joy as she sees Fry. She jumps out of her seat and over to him where
she throws her arms around his neck and kisses him.
"I was afraid I had lost you. Where were you anyways."
"Well, I went after that snooty French guy. I chased him through the whole
mansion, then I see him just a few feet away from me and he slams a door in my
face. I open the door and now I'm somehow standing on a mountain top in the
Himalayas."
Leela chuckles "I swear, this is making less and less sense. But now that
you're back..." she smiles seductively and gives him another kiss. She begins
kissing his neck but then he pulls away. "What's wrong?"
"Honey, normally I wouldn't stop you, but someone needs to fly the ship."
Suddenly she remembers that she didn't set it into autopilot. She turns but
sees that the Remote Master has taken the wheel.
"I got it. So where to?" he asks.
Fry points forward "We go to fulfill our destinys. But first..." he winks at
Leela and she blushes a bit. The two chuckle and exit the bridge to make their
way to the captain's quarters.
And so the car chase ends happily....YAY! |