Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Chronotons of Fry-nia
By Kenneth White

Rating: PG-13

Futurama is TM & Copyright 2004 by Matt Groening, 20th Century Fox, and The Curiosity Company

Note: This story should only really be read if you've seen all or almost all of the Futurama episodes for various spoiler-related reasons. Time Keeps on Slippin' is a must though, and Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles and The Farnsworth Parabox would be highly recommended as well.


Opening Caption: 95% Fact Free!

TV Billboard: Wile E. Coyote pulling the string on a catapult to hit the passing Roadrunner and the large boulder in it goes straight up and lands on him.


{It is early morning at Planet Express, the sun peeking over the ocean in the East. Inside the main room of the building, Professor Farnsworth walks in with a smile on his face.}

FARNSWORTH: Good news, everyone!

{He pauses and looks around. It appears nobody is there. The TV is on however and Bender peeks around the backrest of it to regard the Professor.}

BENDER: What was the point of that, Professor? Nobody's here to listen to you.

FARNSWORTH: (corrective) You're here.

BENDER: (turning back to TV; dismissive) Yeah, but I'm not listening to you.

{The main doors slide open and Leela walks in, almost storming while unbuckling the belt around her green, captain's jacket. She has a slight scowl, and just as the others look like they're about to query her behaviour, Fry walks in behind her. It looks like he's pleading as he follows her, walking fast to keep up.}

FRY: (whining) Awww... come on, Leela! It's not as if I'm asking you to sleep with me! It's just a movie.

LEELA: (snappy) I said 'No!' And besides, I'm not really interested in seeing either Dude, Where's My Bra? or Conan O'Brien the Barbarian thank you...

{She takes off her jacket and hangs it up.}

FRY: (whining) Why won't you give me a chance? I'm just asking for one date here. I mean, that's less than two!

LEELA: (stubbornly) But it's more than zero.

FRY: (bargaining) Look, can you just promise me you'll think about it?

{She looks at him sternly, but he gives her some pleading puppy-dog eyes. She rolls her own and sighs.}

LEELA: (submissive) Okay, fine. I'll think about it.

{Fry suddenly groans loudly and slaps his forehead, rolling his eyes slightly.}

LEELA: (confused) What's wrong?

FRY: (annoyed) You said that you'd think about it! When chicks say that the answer always ends up being 'no!'

LEELA: (face palming; mumbling) Oh, lord...

FARNSWORTH: (annoyed) Would you two stop bickering! I have some good news to tell you!

FRY: (suspicious) Is this really good news, or are you going to use words like "dangerous" and "death" and "likely to be killed" throughout your telling us?

{The Professor looks down at a piece of paper in his hands for a few seconds and then looks up.}

FARNSWORTH: I guess I'll have to use some synonyms in place of those words then...

LEELA: What is it, Professor?

FARNSWORTH: (mindlessly happy) I'm glad you asked, Leela. You see, I've found out a way to cheat death. Or at least make it not as permanent as normal. See, I've been working hard on improving my award-winning Clone-o-mat lately, and have come up with a method to not only clone any one of us, but also a way to age the cloned specimen so it doesn't take them years and years to get back to an appropriate age. That way, if I die, as long as my brain is intact it can be scanned, preserving all my thoughts and memories up until the moment I became deceased. A clone of myself can be created and then instantly aged appropriately, and apart from a few hours of time missing from my life, it'll be as if I never died. (whispering) It's all part of my plan for universal domination.

FRY: So how does it work?

FARNSWORTH: Quite simple, really! I've created a device that processes and utilises none other than those friendly little time-altering molecules called chronotons. Using them, a cloned individual can be exposed to them until they reach the desired age.

LEELA: (annoyed) Hold on there! You're using those same little bastard things that made those time skips in the universe that time?!

FARNSWORTH: (happy) Yes.

LEELA: (still annoyed) The same small annoying things that de-aged us and almost sent most of us into pre-life?!

FARNSWORTH: (still happy) Yes.

BENDER: (annoyed) I'm not usually one to argue about things being unsafe Professor, but I don't like messing with those things! The idea of me missing out on dozens of Hookerbots and booze because time jumped, or me becoming too young to be able to buy either of them, fills me with disgust!

FARNSWORTH: (nodding) Yes, chronotons are very dangerous all right. But fear not, as I saw these issues in advance...

{The Professor takes something out of his pocket. It looks like an aerosol spraycan.}

FRY: What's that? Time repellent?

FARNSWORTH: No! It's my latest invention... Space-Hole Sealer! All you have to do when collecting chronotons is simply spray the area where you took them from, thus sealing up the hole in time and space that they always leave behind.

FRY: Like burning ticks out of your skin with a match instead of pulling them off and leaving their heads behind?

FARNSWORTH: Exactly!

LEELA: (unsure; nervous; annoyed) Wait! You're not actually saying that we have to go and collect chronotons again for you, are you?

FARNSWORTH: No, I'm not saying that at all. But I will be soon...

BENDER: (worried) Uh oh!

FARNSWORTH: Good news, everyone! You're off to collect chronotons from the Argus galaxy!

LEELA: Argus Galaxy? Isn't that where all those ships go missing and are usually discovered years later with the entire crews murdered on them?

FARNSWORTH: (quickly, dismissively) No, you must be thinking of another place. (normal) Now off you go, while I'm still alive.

{The Professor begins to shuffle off to his office, but suddenly stops and turns around.}

FARNSWORTH: Oh, and take Zoidberg with you too. I want him there in case one of you is killed so that he can retrieve the brain. I still need a test subject for this thing, so if there's an accident, I may as well make the most of it.

{He shuffles into his office, the door sliding behind him. Leela leads as they trudge off towards the ship.}

FRY: (annoyed) Man! Why does he always send us off on these lousy two bit operations?

BENDER: Yeah! Just for once, I'd like to go on a sixteen-bit operation. Or even an eight bit one. (angrily) Is that too much to ask?!!

{Scene changes to Planet Express ship soaring towards what looks like a pinkish-purple nebula, but upon closer arrival it turns out to be a cloud of chronotons. The ship stops amongst them and the trapdoor hatch opens, Leela, Fry and Bender sailing out. The two humans have jetpacks, spacesuits, jars in one hand and aerosol cans in the other. Leela leads them to a concentrated area of chronotons, then turns around to look at the other two seriously.}

LEELA: (serious; direct) Okay, I want this to go off as hassle-free as possible, so before we do anything else and start just randomly grabbing these things, I'm going to test to see if these cans of the Professor's work.

{As she shakes the can up and down with a rattle, Leela takes a pair of tweezers from the breast pocket of her spacesuit and carefully plucks a Chronoton floating nearby. As it pops out of whatever is holding it there, a small hole begins to form in space. Leela sprays the hole carefully, and after it just pauses for a while, the hole seems to seal itself up again.

LEELA: (surprised) Wow! Looks like it actually works!

FRY: Neat! I wonder what the Professor put in that stuff?

LEELA: (reading can) All it says is that it contains "the most hardy, plastic-like, inorganic substances known to man."

FRY: (realising) So that's why he was grinding up that McDonald's food the other day and turning it into a paste!

BENDER: No, I think that was just so that he could eat it.

LEELA: (impatient) Let's just get this over with. I don't really feel like spending any longer in this galaxy than we have to.

FRY: Good idea. I think there's some kind of electrical storm coming towards us too?

{Fry points past them into the distance. Dark blue wisps of cloud can be seen, flashing every so often randomly. The three split up, spending the next few minutes plucking, collecting and spraying around the area near the ship. When all their jars are full, they cap them and float back inside the ship. Fry is the first to speak as the trapdoors close and he and Leela remove their space-gear.}

FRY: I think we got in just in time. I think that weird storm thing was just about to hit us.

LEELA: Good. That means we can get out of here with no problems.

{She hands Fry her jar.}

LEELA: (cont'd) Here. You and Bender take these and put them somewhere safe. I'm going to get us out of here.

{Leela leaves the room quickly, off towards the cockpit. Fry turns to Bender.}

FRY: So... where'll we put these things?

BENDER: (mischievously) How 'bout we go and feed them to Zoidberg and see what happens?

FRY: (considering) Hmmm... that would be interesting... (snaps to serious) No! We have to keep them safe, or Leela will kill us.

BENDER: (rolling his eyes; pouty) Okay, fine!

{The robot looks around, then points to a bench at the back end of the cargo hold.}

BENDER: (cont'd) We'll just put them here then.

{He places the jar on the bench firmly, then turns around leaning against it casually, his arms crossed and eyes half-closed.}

BENDER: (uncaring) There. Safe forever. (claps) Now let's go see what's in Zoidberg's medical supplies that I can hawk off to junkies when we get back.

FRY: Not yet. It's still not safe enough. I mean... it's in full view there. What if we got boarded by space pirates, or space bandidos, or space customs?

{They both look around the room, and Fry spots something and points at it. The object is sitting on the same bench.}

FRY: You can cover it with that sheet.

{Bender looks where Fry is indicating. There is a plain sheet covering something. Bender shrugs and pulls off the sheet, Fry smiling as he sees what it reveals.}

FRY: Hey! It's the Professor's What-If? Machine. I wonder why it's in here?

BENDER: (covering the jar with the sheet) Oh, that was me. I brought it along last week for our trip to Alphonse Nine. I wanted to see how a heist would go if I gave it a try. The problem is it can't see into the future apparently, only a past that may have been.

FRY: So, you're saying you'd need to have already done the deed and then you could look back and see how you could have done it right after it's already been done?

BENDER: Exactly.

FRY: Well, I'd better put these jars on the bench too, where they'll be safe.

{Fry takes a step forward, and as he goes to take a second, his foot travels towards a horizontal power lead dangling about two inches from the ground. Bender gasps.}

BENDER: (worried) Fry! Look out for that lead!

FRY: (confident) Don't worry, I see it. I'll just leap over it safely onto that patch of sticky molasses.

BENDER: (panicky) Fry! No...

{But Bender's call is too late, as Fry, jars in his hands, leaps over the cord. His feet land in the black, wet patch he was talking about, but instead of sticking, his feet begin to slip. He doesn't go down though, instead slipping and sliding on it, as if running in one spot.}

FRY: (panicked) It's not molasses at all! It's oil!

BENDER: Fry, you idiot! Of course it's oil! It's sitting between two oil barrels!

{Fry's slippery, uncontrolled dancing comes to an end, as he slips backwards to trip over the cord he initially leapt over. He goes down, but while he manages to keep hold of the jars, the chronotons within fly out the tops of them. Bender watches in horror as they fly through the air, and just as Fry hits the ground, the violet particles pelt into the screen of the What-If? Machine. It sounds like heavy rain hitting a puddle as they make contact and are engulfed into the object, and then all is silent when they finish. Bender and Fry just stare at each other, as not a single Chronoton can be seen.}

FRY: (worried; timid) Wh... where'd they go?

BENDER: I think they actually went... into the machine!

FRY: That's stupid!

{Fry stands up and brushes himself off.}

FRY: (cont'd) How can they go into the What-If? Machine? It's not like it's a microwave, or a washing machine, or one of those LucasArts adventure game simulators that you plug into the TV!

BENDER: (quiet; cheeky; reminiscent) Sam and Max'll never hit the road again...

FRY: (approaching machine) We have to get them out somehow, or we'll get killed by a one-hundred and sixty-something year old man with class five arthritis!

BENDER: Can do!

FRY: Without breaking the What-If? Machine!

BENDER: Awwww!

FRY: Hmmmm... I wonder...

{As Fry reaches out towards the large button below the machine's screen, Bender makes a nervous noise.

BENDER: (worried) I dunno if that's such a good idea, Fry!

FRY: (calm) Pfft! What's the best that could happen?

{Fry presses the button and the two watch. For a start, there is nothing, but then the screen begins to swirl and twist in various shades of pink and purple.}

FRY: Hmmm... seems normal. Except for those strange dots that are appearing.

BENDER: Dots?

{Fry's eyes barely have time to bulge before he is pelted rapidly from the What-If? Machine with dozens of tiny purple balls. As if shot by a machine gun, he jolts around and is pushed back slightly, and after just over five seconds, it ends. Fry falls to the floor and the world goes black to him.}

WAVY DISTANT VOICE: Hello? Hello? Wake up, Fry?

{Vision returns to Fry as he slowly opens his eyes, causing the reddish blur before him to morph into the face of Doctor Zoidberg. Zoidberg smiles, then turns away to talk to somebody else.}

ZOIDBERG: (excited) His tympanic lids have opened to see me! That's a good sign!

{Zoidberg's face turns back to Fry.}

ZOIDBERG: (cont'd) How do you feel, my good friend?

FRY: With my hands, like everybody else wh-- (realising) Oh! You mean how am I feeling? Okay I guess... what happened?

BENDER: You got blasted by the What-If? Machine or something, I 'unno! You seem fine now though.

ZOIDBERG: Yes, all tests show that you're okay.

FRY: (sitting up) What tests were those?

ZOIDBERG: I got Bender to check your pulse.

FRY: And?

ZOIDBERG: And that's all. He said he thought he could feel it, and that was good enough for me.

FRY: Oh. So can I go now?

ZOIDBERG: (shrugging) Eh... why not? I can't stop you.

FRY: Great!

{Fry gets to his feet, and suddenly sighs.}

FRY: I guess I'd better tell Leela that we lost those chronotons now though. She's not going to be happy.

BENDER: (uncaring) Ninety percent of the time she's a grouch anyway. Who cares?

{Fry just ignores Bender and walks through the door en route to the cockpit. As he wanders down the hallway towards the cockpit door, for some reason it seems to get further away from him, almost as if stretching away. He suddenly sneezes, and when he opens his eyes, everything appears normal. The door is just a few metres away, just as it should be.}

FRY: Man! I really should stop eating that spicy food Bender gets from that Puebla Nebula place!

{Fry opens the door, stepping in. Not much there except Leela sitting at the controls as usual, steering the ship. Fry jams his hands into his red jacket pocket, then walks over to her sheepishly.}

FRY: (nervously) Hi, Leela.

LEELA: (cheerful) Oh, hi Fry. Did you get those chronotons stored somewhere safely?

{Fry hesitates and looks at the ceiling.}

FRY: That's what I came here to talk to you about...

{Fry trails off, then jumps a little as he looks out the windows, noticing the blue shimmering clouds outside.}

FRY: Uh... Leela. Not that I'm nervous, but why are you piloting the ship into the strange storm clouds? I only ask because it's making me nervous.

LEELA: The Professor said that on the way back we should pass the planet Go and collect two hundred dollars.

FRY: (quiet; confused) I don't remember him saying that...

LEELA: Now, what was it you wanted to tell me about the chronotons?

FRY: (nervous) Well, there was a little, how should I say... accident.

LEELA: (worried) What happened?

FRY: We lost two of the jars when I slipped on some oil. They spilled and kind of...disappeared.

{Fry suddenly cringed and recoiled in defence, expecting Leela to explode. There was nothing though, and as he opened his eyes he just saw her with a slight frown.}

LEELA: Well... mistakes happen.

{Fry's eyes bulged and he almost choked.}

LEELA: (cont'd) You still have one full jar though right?

{Fry just nodded quickly and silently, a shocked look still on his face.}

LEELA: Well... that should still be more than enough for the Professor.

FRY: (sceptical) Yeah, I guess you're right.

{As Leela turns back to steering the ship, Fry's mind thinks away.}

FRY'S MIND: She seems in a good mood at the moment! Perhaps now would be a good time?

FRY: (casual) So, Leela. Have you thought about that date offer for tonight yet?

LEELA: What's to think about?

FRY'S MIND: I knew it...

LEELA: (cont'd) I mean, I already said "yes" before.

FRY: (sad) Yeah, I know that yo-- (realising) Wait! You said "yes?!"

LEELA: Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?

{Fry just paused for a while, his eyes shifting back and forward.

FRY: I... don't... know...

LEELA: (concerned) Are you sure you're feeling alright?

FRY: (quickly) I'm fine!

LEELA: You sure? You can go and lie on my bed if you w--

FRY: (interrupting) No, I'm good! (pause) I have to go now!

{Quick as a flash, Fry quickly dives out the back door, leaving Leela with a confused look on her face. She shakes her head, shrugs, and turns back to concentrating on piloting the ship. Meanwhile, Fry bursts into Doctor Zoidberg's office, where the crustacean and Bender sit playing cards on the medical table. Bender notices the strange look on Fry's face.}

BENDER: What's up, meat-sack?

FRY: It's more what's not up, that's what's up!

ZOIDBERG: Come again?

FRY: (ecstatic) It's Leela! She agreed to go out with me tonight!

BENDER: (uninterested) Oh, big whoop! It's not like it's the first time you guys have gone out or anything.

FRY: No. But it's the first truly proper time we will. One without me being aided by worms, or a music instrument, or the flip of a coin. This time, it was all me. (unsure) Or, at least I think it was?

FEMALE VOICE: I don't think Leela will be very happy if you don't consider the other times proper dates!

FRY: Yaaa!

{Fry jumps, as the voice is Amy's. She is standing partially behind him at the bench, stirring a cup of coffee nonchalantly. She wanders towards the table with the cup.}

FRY: Amy! Since when were you on the ship?!

AMY: Spluh! I've been here the whole time.

BENDER: Are you sure you're feeling okay, skin tube? You've been acting kind of weird since the accident.

FRY: I do feel a bit strange. I don't think I'm thinking straight. I think I'll go lie down for a while.

{Fry leaves the room and goes to the crew quarters. He eases himself into one of the hammocks there and stares up, looking at the empty hammock that Bender usually occupies above him. Suddenly, he feels strange, and his vision seems to stretch again, making the hammock above him seem to pull away. He sneezes and then all is normal again. Fry sits up with a groan and holds his head.}

FRY: Man! What's the deal with that weird sensation! I can't even lie down in peace!

{The door clicks open and Fry turns his head to see Leela standing in the entrance.}

LEELA: So this is where you are. Where'd you and Bender put the chronotons?

FRY: Well... we put the remaining jar on the bench under a sheet.

LEELA: (shocked) What?! (angry) What do you mean by remaining jar?!

FRY: Y'know... we lost the rest in an accident, and--

LEELA: (interrupting; angry) God damn it, Fry! The Professor's not going to like this!

FRY: But... but... but...

LEELA: We'll just have to hope that one jar is enough I suppose! I don't want to have to go back there to get any more!

FRY: (nervous) So are we still on for tonight then?

LEELA: What?!

FRY: Y'know... the movie tonight?

LEELA: We were never on for tonight, Fry! And you didn't exactly choose the best time to ax!

FRY: (getting annoyed) You're confusing me, Leela. One minute you're all for it, the next you're refusing to go. Can't you just make up your mind?

LEELA: I have no idea what you're talking about, Fry. But I'm not in the mood to have an argument with you. I'm going to go back to piloting the ship. I suggest that you just sit here and just clear your mind.

{Leela walks out of the room, closing the door behind her. Fry just sighs again.}

FRY: Man, I'll never understand women! No matter what I do, there's no way I'll ever be able to get to know the way they think.

{Fry sighs again.}

FRY: Maybe Amy will just tell me if I'm nice to her? It'd save the useless effort of trying to figure it out!

{Fry leaves the room, and just as he does, it seems to stretch again, then snap back to normal after another sneeze. Fry grasps his forehead and groans.}

FRY: I'd better see Zoidberg about these stupid head sensation thingies first though.

{Fry walks into the medical bay, and there are Bender and Zoidberg, just as they were before.}

BENDER: That was quick! What's the matter... can't relax or something?

FRY: No. Leela just yelled at me for losing the chronotons, then cancelled our date.

BENDER: Ouch!

FRY: Yeah. And I keep getting these weird, dizzy sensations, and my vision seems to stretch and warp or something.

{Fry turns to Zoidberg.}

FRY: (cont'd) Do you have anything that may be able to help me with that, Doctor Zoidberg?

ZOIDBERG: Well I do have some rare and fancy pills that I bought for one hundred dollars from a travelling salesman. They can apparently cure most minor internal problems humans have.

{Zoidberg takes a thin box from the pocket of his white coat, then hands them to Fry. Fry looks at the box and reads the large letters printed on it aloud.}

FRY: Aspirin.

ZOIDBERG: Yes! A miracle pill, apparently!

BENDER: You got swindled, Zoidberg!

ZOIDBERG: I did?

BENDER: Yeah! I could have sold you the same stuff for only ninety dollars.

{Fry pops a pill out of the foil and puts it into his mouth. He grabs Bender's bottle of beer...}

BENDER: Hey!

{...and takes a swig before handing it back.}

FRY: I hope these work. Do you guys know where Amy is?

BENDER: (casual) I think she went to the cockpit to nark to Leela what you said about go-- Ooof!

{There was a clunk sound in time with Bender's last exclamation, as Zoidberg nudges the robot roughly.}

BENDER: (unsure) Uh... I mean, to, ah... talk about, duh... female stuff. I wouldn't interrupt if I were you.

FRY: (frustrated) Damn! That's the last thing I need: Amy talking about me to Leela behind my back! How rude! Now how am I supposed to talk to Amy about Leela?

{Fry pauses for a moment, then turns and leaves. He walks through the corridor and into the cockpit. There he sees Amy with her hand on Leela's shoulder. To his surprise, Leela seems to be crying. Amy glances over at Fry.}

AMY: Uh oh!

{Leela turns to Fry, tears in her eye.}

LEELA: (sobbing) Is what Amy said true, Fry? Do you really consider all our dates so far to be shallow?

FRY: No! Well... maybe a little. I mean, they meant a lot to me, but... they did kind of seem empty.

{Leela buries her face in her hands and bawls loudly.}

FRY: (confused) But, why do you care anyway? You called off our date just before. In fact, you said it was never on.

LEELA: (sad; confused) No I didn't! I wouldn't do that. Although, now I'm having second thoughts.

FRY: (frustrated) More like third or forth thoughts!

AMY: Fry, are you sure you're okay? You've been acting strange lately. Did you wang your head when you fell down?

FRY: (submissive) I don't know... I'm just really confused at the moment. I think I need to lie down or something. Properly this time.

{Fry leaves the room, then immediately whispers to himself as he walks towards the crew quarter's again.}

FRY: Man! What's the deal with Leela?! She's going through one hell of a mood swing session.

{Fry's vision stretches again, his head lightens, and he sneezes once more. He slaps his head.}

FRY: Dammit! When are these stupid pills gonna kick in?!

{Fry walks into the crew quarters again and plops into his hammock. He's barely there a few seconds before the door opens again and Bender's face peeks around it.}

BENDER: Hey, Fry! Leela said for us to search the cargo hold for those missing chronotons. She doesn't want any of them loose in the ship somewhere. She specifically mentioned the Tribble incident as a comparison for when losing an object on the ship can turn real bad real quick.

{Fry groans.}

FRY: (annoyed) Why can't I get a moment's peace on this ship, for Zombie Christ's sake?! I only just came from talking with her too!

BENDER: Don't care! Can we just get this over with? I want to take a rest so that I can defrag my hard-drive and clean out my cache. (whispering; shifty) I'm getting a factory inspection tomorrow and I don't want them to find certain information.

{Minutes later, Fry and Bender are crawling around the floor of the cargo hold looking for chronotons.}

BENDER: Well, I can't find anything. You?

FRY: Naw. I thought I did, but it turned out to just be an M&M.

BENDER: Well then you'd better go tell Leela that we can't find them then.

FRY: (annoyed) Why should I do it?

BENDER: Well, I could start a whole thing with this, but--

FRY: (interrupting; defeated) Naw, it's okay. I'll go. I should probably apologise to Leela anyway.

BENDER: Going to apologise to her because she messed with your head, huh? Just like all human males.

{A few seconds later, the door to the cockpit opens and Fry steps in. Leela is flying the ship and looks over her shoulder.}

LEELA: Find those missing chronotons yet?

FRY: Well... not exactly. We couldn't find them anywhere. We looked high and low. Left and right. North and east. Nothing.

LEELA: (turning back to her console) Maybe I should give the Professor a call? Just to ax him what stray chronotons could do.

FRY: I'd also like to apologise.

LEELA: (pressing buttons) For what?

FRY: Well... being a jerk I suppose. As well as losing them in the first place. I'm sorry, I've been feeling kind of weird lately.

LEELA: (smiling) It's okay, Fry. I should apologise too. I mean, I overreacted to the situation and blamed you, when it was really an accident. I'm just kind of scared of those stupid chronotons and what they might do. (angry) Dammit!

FRY: What's wrong?

LEELA: I can get through to the Professor. I think these strange cloud things are causing interference.

FRY: Space clouds tend to do that.

LEELA: They even look like they're getting thicker ahead.

FRY: Maybe we should screw going to Go to get the two-hundred bucks and just head home?

LEELA: Going to Go? Why would we go to Go?

FRY: I thought the Professor suggesting going to go to Go? I thought that's why we were travelling through the clouds?

LEELA: No. We're travelling through the clouds for cover. I don't want to risk anything in this galaxy, else we end up all murdered.

FRY: Hmmm. Well, if there's nothing else happening, I think I'll take a nap. Finally!

LEELA: No, there's nothing else unless I can get through to the Professor. You go. I hope you start feeling better.

FRY: Thanks.

{Fry turns and leaves the cockpit, but just as he closes the door behind him he suddenly stops.}

FRY: I wonder if I should have brought up that date again, now that she seems in a better mood?

{Fry turns around, but as he reaches for the handle, it seems to stretch out of reach. He gets light-headed and sneezes.}

FRY: Damn! I thought those pills had done the trick too!

{Fry opens the door and just pokes his head in.}

FRY: Leela?

{There's no answer for a while, but finally she answers.}

LEELA: (slightly pouty) What?

FRY: Well... seeing as I'm sorry and all, and... well. I'd really like to go out with you tonight. I-I don't really consider our previous dates to be shallow.

{She turns around, a huge smile on her face.}

LEELA: (hopeful) Really?

FRY: Yeah, really.

LEELA: I'd love to.

FRY: (surprised) Really?!

LEELA: Of course. You said you weren't feeling well, so you probably said something you didn't mean, and Amy got it all mixed up. I understand.

FRY: Yeah... something like that. I think I'll go talk with her soon, but first I'm going to rest.

LEELA: Okay, see you later.

{Fry smiles and closes the door.}

FRY: The circumstances may be weird, but I can't argue with the outcome.

{Fry takes one step, but then stops and suddenly sneezes.}

FRY: Jeez! I must be getting a cold or something?

{Fry once again opens the door to the crew's quarters, but is surprised to find Amy in there lying on his bunk.}

AMY: (happy) Hi Fry.

FRY: (slightly surprised) What are you doing here?

AMY: I was waiting for you.

FRY: Oh. What for? To talk?

AMY: If you want to talk?

FRY: Well... maybe later. I'd rather sleep first.

AMY: (suggestively) Me too...

{Amy suddenly throws her arms around Fry's neck and incites a passionate kiss. Fry is shocked and paralysed for a while, but manages to eventually push Amy off. She looks as shocked as him.}

FRY: What the hell was that?!

AMY: Spluh! It's called a kiss. Normally, you like them.

FRY: Yeah, well... normally it's not you I get them from!

AMY: (annoyed) What are you saying? Have you been cheating on me?!

FRY: (confused) Well, no. But that depends on your definition of the term.

AMY: (annoyed) What's the deal, Fry? You haven't acted this weird about us since you almost broke up with me three years ago!

FRY: Almost broke up with you?

AMY: Yeah! On Valentine's Day, remember? Right after we had that car accident that almost killed you.

FRY: I remember that. I just don't remember this so-called 'almost' part you talk of.

AMY: (angry) Look, if you haven't been happy about us for the last three years, then maybe we shouldn't be together?!

FRY: Well, I don't know about you, but I personally never considered us to as being 'together' at all!

AMY: (angry) My parents were right about you! And not just about the grandchildren part!

{Amy storms past him and out the door with a snort, slamming it behind her. Fry plonks down on his hammock, face frozen in a fixed look of confused shock.}

FRY: What the hell is going on?! It's like some strange nightmare or something! Wait! Maybe that's it?! I'm not really awake, and this is just a dream! Yeah! I got knocked out by the What-If? Machine, and I've been asleep ever since! That has to be it! And I can prove it!

{Fry rolls up his left sleeve and then pinches his arm. Nothing seems to happen so her tries harder.}

FRY: Ow!! Nothing!

{His expression becomes one of intense thought, then his face suddenly brightens.}

FRY: I know! I'll get Doctor Zoidberg to pinch me! If getting really pinched by real pincers isn't a real pinch, then no pinch is really real.

{He gets to his feet, immediately sneezing straight after he does. He curses then runs out the door and into Zoidberg's lab. There, Zoidberg is curled up on his medical examination table as if a dog. Fry shakes the doctor.}

FRY: Zoidberg! Zoidberg! Wake up!

{Zoidberg stirs, slowly turning his head towards Fry. Almost as soon as their eyes meet, Zoidberg squeals loudly and tries to back away, unfortunately falling to the floor as he reaches the end of the bench. That doesn't seem to bother him as he gets up and backs further, until he is right up against the wall.}

ZOIDBERG: (panicked) Help! Help me!! It's a ghost!!

FRY: No, Zoidberg! It's me! Fry!

ZOIDBERG: (panicked) Fry the Ghost! (a high-pitched squeal) Oh no! You've come to haunt me, haven't you?! You've come to haunt Zoidberg for eating some of your organs once you were killed! I swear, it was just a last ditch effort to try and suck some of the venom out of you!!

{Fry is about to speak when the door behind him opens. Farnsworth walks in with Bender and Leela behind him.}

FARNSWORTH: What in Zombie Fry is going on h-- (sees Fry) Oh, God!! It's Zombie Fry!

LEELA: My God! Fry?!!

FRY: I'm not a zombie!

ZOIDBERG: No! He's a ghost!!

FARNSWORTH: (shocked) Oh God! (scared) Has he come back to haunt me for selling his limbs to Wernstrom?

ZOIDBERG: (angry) No! He's haunting me, Zoidberg! Get your own vengeful ghost!!

BENDER: He's probably after me for my little "Weekend at Bender's" stunt.

FRY: (yelling angrily) I'm not after any one! I'm not even dead! I'm just lazed and confused!

FARNSWORTH: I'll be the judge of that.

{Farnsworth suddenly pulls a large wooden mallet and a wooden stake out of his pockets. Fry screams.}

FRY: What the hell are you doing?!

FARNSWORTH: A simple test. I'll drive this stake into your heart. If you're a zombie or a ghost, you'll die.

FRY: Won't I also die if I'm alive?!

FARNSWORTH: Well... technically yes, but...

FRY: Can't you prove I'm alive some other way? And why do you even think I'm dead in the first place?

LEELA: (sadly) You got killed by a giant space bee almost a year ago, Fry. You risked your life to save me.

FARNSWORTH: Will you let me take a DNA sample? I can prove you're alive with that.

FRY: Yeah, that's fine.

FARNSWORTH: Wonderful! Now I can either have Zoidberg take a blood sample, or I can have Leela here help produce a sample from you, if you know what I mean?

FRY: (smiling; sleazy) I think I do. And I'll go with that option, thank you.

FARNSWORTH: Very well.

{The Professor turns to Leela.}

FARNSWORTH: (cont'd) You may proceed, Leela.

{Leela approaches Fry and he gives her a big grin and suggestive eyes. She smiles briefly, then immediately grabs the fringe of his hair and pulls violently.}

FRY: Oww!!!

{There is a tearing sound, and Leela soon has a portion of Fry's hair. She hands it to Farnsworth.}

LEELA: Here you go, Professor.

ZOIDBERG: (laughing) Hair you go?! Oh, that's brilliant!!

{The Professor puts the sample of hair into a tray on a machine, then closes the tray and turns on the machine. Some figures begin to appear on the monitor of the device.}

FARNSWORTH: This DNA Examinator will study and show us any anomalies in Ghost Fry's DNA structure.

FRY: (rubbing his head) I'm not a ghost!

FARNSWORTH: (annoyed) To the ship's doctor you were, so until this test is over you are spectral until proven mortal!

{The DNA Examinator makes a beeping sound and the Professor looks at the monitor closely.}

BENDER: What does it say, Professor?

FARNSWORTH: Well, according to Microsoft Virtual DNA, there are zero errors and one exception. Things without souls would have at least ten errors, therefore, Ghost Fry can't be a ghost, zombie, vampire, lawyer, or network executive.

LEELA: What's the exception then?

FARNSWORTH: I'm checking now. (gasps) My God! Now that makes sense!

LEELA: What is it?

FARNSWORTH: While most of his DNA is technically sound, there is a quantum flux in his RNA!

BENDER: What the hell does that mean?!

FARNSWORTH: Well, it can only mean one thing...

{The Professor turns to Fry.}

FARNSWORTH: That this Fry is from a parallel universe!!

FRY: Well, that makes sense I suppose. I guess I've been feeling weirded out because I've been hopping through different universe's.

FARNSWORTH: Hopping? How?!

FRY: (shrugs) I 'unno. I just seem to keep finding strange differences and contradictions in reality... (gasps) every time I sneeze!

FARNSWORTH: Interesting. Did anything strange or odd happen to you that might have started this off?

FRY: Not really. Unless you'd consider spilling two jars of chronotons into a What-If? Machine and then getting shot by that very machine a few seconds later strange?

FARNSWORTH: My God! That explains it all!

FRY: It does?

FARNSWORTH: Yes. You see, that action will most likely have filled your body with the chronotons, thus making you an unstable time-space warping ninny! That's why you are randomly jumping through alternate parallel universes. Still... there seems to be a variable missing somewhere. Something that causes them to react and move you.

BENDER: What about the What-If? Machine, Professor? Since it shows alternate realities, wouldn't it have obviously caused the alternate universe shifting dealie?

FARNSWORTH: I'm afraid not. The What-If? Machine was just a strange vessel that allowed the process of Chronoton transmittal to take place. And Fry isn't just hopping from wherever he came from to alternate realities, he's hopping through actual alternate realities.

{The Professor turns to Fry.}

FARNSWORTH: Fry, are there any major common factors to each universe you visit?

FRY: Hmmmm... well, we're always in the ship. And as far as I know we're always in the same place, (points out window) because that weird storm thingy is always there.

BENDER: There's no storm out there.

FRY: (shocked) There isn't!

LEELA: There was, but we're in a clearing. I stopped the ship when I saw it after hearing Zoidberg scream.

FRY: Well, that explains why I've been here a few minutes and haven't jumped.

ZOIDBERG: How handy.

FARNSWORTH: (OS) Aha! Remarkable!

{Everybody turns. The Professor is at the window with a strange looking, handheld device.}

FARNSWORTH (cont'd) These clouds are actually part of the problem.

LEELA: What are they?

FARNSWORTH: To put it simply, they are the gas form of Chronoton residue. They're fairly rare, but are found near large concentrations of chronotons. They just look like mild space electrical storms, so are mostly ignored. It looks like this galaxy has quite a build-up of the stuff. It all makes sense now.

FRY: It does?

FARNSWORTH: Yes. These residue clouds are making the chronotons in your system go overtime, and they become unstable and will eventually rise and explode, which accounts for the reason you sneeze. When that happens, you are sent to another one of the limitless parallel universes in existence. The problem is, every time one explodes, it's gone forever, and if you don't manage to get back to your own universe before they're all gone, you'll be stuck in whatever universe you're in forever. Luckily, there is a limit to how many universe's you can travel to.

BENDER: Wait a minute! I thought you said that the amount of parallel universes was 'limitless' just then?!

FARNSWORTH: Oh, in theory they are, but I shall explain. You see, every time somebody makes a decision, no matter how boring or humdrum it may seem, they create the path for their universe. Therefore, any time a decision is made by anybody at all, two or more universes are created, because all alternate decisions are taken into consideration. The reason Fry is limited is because he can only travel to a sub-parallel universe of his own.

LEELA: What's a 'sub-parallel' universe?

FARNSWORTH: A parallel universe that revolves around a single common factor, or one decision that has remained intact for other universes. In this case, that factor is the decision for us to collect chronotons in this galaxy and then fly the ship through the Chronoton residue clouds. Fry can thus only be transported to and from alternate realities where the ship is travelling through the cloud at the same timeline precisely as it is in the previous universe he populated, which limits him to a good several hundred thousand trillion, probably. Of course, every time he jumps or even makes contact with anybody, it creates new pathways.

FRY: But I don't have several hundred thousand trillion chronotons in me! I'd run out before then for sure!

FARNSWORTH: Not necessarily. Your universe will actually be calling to you, because time wants to remain stable if it can, you'll probably visit your own universe more than any other. The chances are in your favour. You'd just better hope that the Leela in your universe doesn't pilot the ship out of the clouds, or you'll never get back! Ever!

FRY: Awww, man! (pouty) I'm gonna be stuck in some dingy universe that's not mine! I just know it!

FARNSWORTH: I may be able to help you. But much of it depends on luck.

{Farnsworth shuffles over to a bench and opens a drawer. He takes a strange device out that looks like a peg and hands it to Fry.}

FARNSWORTH: Clip this on your nose whenever you enter a new universe. It will stop you sneezing and allow you to explore any possibly-yours universes. If you think a universe may be your own, get the Professor in it to compare your RNA with that of the universe you're in. If they match, he should be able to get the chronotons out of you.

FRY: What if the ship in my universe doesn't have a Professor in it on the ship?

FARNSWORTH: You may have to risk a Zoidberg blood test then, assuming he's present.

FRY: He is.

FARNSWORTH: Wonderful!

{Farnsworth turns to Leela.}

FARNSWORTH: (cont'd) You can take the ship back into the residue now, Leela.

LEELA: Uh... Professor. Can we discuss this?

FARNSWORTH: What for? What's to discuss?

LEELA: (sad) Well, it's just that...

{Leela trailed off and looked at Fry sadly.}

LEELA: (cont'd) That we lost our Fry and now we have this chance to get him back. I don't really want us to throw this chance away.

FARNSWORTH: But he doesn't belong here, Leela! He has to go back to his universe. The fabric of time and space depends on it!

ZOIDBERG: The Professor's right, Leela. Besides, think how the Leela's and Zoidberg's will feel in his universe if he doesn't come back?

LEELA: But... but...

{Leela looks over at Fry. Fry smiles at her in a way that seems to say "I'm sorry" to her. She sighs and hangs her head.}

LEELA: You're right, I'm sorry. I was being selfish. It's just that... that...

{Leela starts to cry. Fry looks sad, but then jumps a little in what looks like surprise.}

FRY: Wait! Believe it or not, I have an idea that may work. One that may allow you to both send me home, and have a Fry of your own. You were here collecting chronotons too, right?

FARNSWORTH: Yes. We got a batch of three full jars about half an hour ago. (gasp) Wait! I see where you're going with this! If we scan your brain before you leave, we can use a DNA sample of our deceased Fry and those brain readings to clone you, eh... him, guh... both of you!

FRY: (excited) Exactly! And then you use the chronotons to speed up the growth process with your modified Clone-o-mat!

LEELA: (happy, but sceptical) Would it really work?!

FARNSWORTH: Technically, yes! The only thing would be we'd have a Fry with the RNA of our universe, but the mind of this Fry's universe.

LEELA: (happy) I can live with that.

{She looks at Fry and wanders over to him, taking his hands in hers.}

LEELA: I see the storm isn't the only common factor between our universe's, because this Fry is just as sweet as ours was.

{Leela leans in and gives Fry a kiss on the lips. He giggles coyly and blushes when she stops.}

FRY: I wish the Leela of my universe thought so too.

LEELA: (sad) She doesn't?

{Fry shakes his head.}

LEELA: Oh, I'm sorry. I wish there was some way I could help.

FRY: (smiling) No. It's okay. I have to sort some things out for myself.

{She smiles and gives him another quick kiss on the lips.}

FARNSWORTH: There'll be time for fraternising with a Fry later, Leela. Take the controls and fly us back into the clouds when I give you the signal.

LEELA: Roger!

{Leela nods and leaves the room, while the Professor takes another devices and runs it up and down beside Fry's head.}

FARNSWORTH: There! Good luck.

FRY: Thanks.

FARNSWORTH: (yelling) Leela! I'm giving you the signal!!

LEELA: (OS) Acknowledged! We're going in!

{As the ship whirrs into life again around them, Bender approaches Fry and shakes his hand.}

BENDER: Seeya later, meatbag. I guess I'll be seeing you real soon.

FRY: Yeah, I guess so. (to Professor) I really hope your enhanced Clone-o-mat works, Professor. More so than any invention of yours so far. You might say that my life depends on it.

FARNSWORTH: Oh, I'm fairly sure it will.

{Fry smiles again, but then makes a strange face.}

FRY: Uh oh. I gomma sneetsh! Bye guhyes!

FARNSWORTH: So long!

{And then, Fry sneezes. He opens his eyes to see he is still in the medical bay, but there is nobody else around. He takes the peg-like object from his jacket pocket and clips it only his nose.}

FRY: (whispering) Okay, this could be my universe. I've got to check it out and see though.

{Fry leaves the room and steps into the hallway outside. As he does, he's almost run into by Nibbler, who is running across the floor. Fry yelps, but then gasps when he sees something chasing Nibbler.}

FRY: Seymour?!!

{The small dog skids and turns to face Fry. Seymour is a young pup of about one year of age, which Fry suddenly understands as he kneels downs and receives licks to the face from the pet.}

FRY: (reminiscent) It was about a year ago I almost cloned you. I guess the me of this universe did, huh boy?

SEYMOUR: *Ruff!*

FRY: I'd love to stay and spend time with you again, boy.

{Fry takes the peg off his nose.}

FRY: (cont'd) But I have to find my own world.

{Seymour makes a confused whimper as Fry stands up, and then, Fry sneezes. The peg goes back on his nose as he looks around. The hallway is empty, so Fry walks towards the cockpit. Things inside appear normal, with Leela flying the ship. Fry wanders over to her and she looks at him.}

LEELA: Hi Fry. What are you doing here?

FRY: (casually) Nothing... just seeing how things are with you.

LEELA: Fine. Why aren't you watching the boy though? Is he sleeping or something?

FRY: Boy?!

LEELA: Yeah, y'know... Zapp Junior?

FRY: (shocked) Who Junior?!!

{There is a click and Fry and Leela turn around. There in the doorway is a boy who looks about five years of age. He holds a clothesless Barbie doll under one arm, wears what looks like crimson, velour pyjamas and looks unhappy. He has a single eye and styled blonde hair. Fry screams.}

LEELA: Ah, there he is. (cutesy) Is Uncle Fry taking care of you?

ZAPP JR.: Boobs!!

{Leela groans. While Fry removes the peg from his nose.}

LEELA: (annoyed) I wish he'd stop saying that word! Lousy father of his! Still better than his first word though: 'sextacular!'

FRY: (scared) Gotta go!

{Fry quickly runs past Zapp Junior and out the door, sneezing as he closes it behind him. Upon opening his eyes he's in the hallway, but he immediately turns and looks back into the cockpit. It appears to be empty this time. He puts the peg back on and looks around to be sure.}

FRY: (calling) Leela! Are you around?!

LEELA: (OS) I'm in here, Fry.

{Fry turns around. The reply came from Leela's captain's suite. He shrugs and walks towards it, then knocks on the door.}

FRY: Can I come in?

LEELA: (OS) Sure.

{Fry opens the door and jumps a little, because there is Leela in her bed smiling at him. The covers are up to her armpits and her shoulders look bare.}

LEELA: Hi Fry. (seductively) I've been waiting for you.

FRY: (interested) Really?

LEELA: Where have you been? I've been waiting for ages for you.

FRY: I'm sorry.

LEELA: You're apologising because you've been bad, aren't you?

FRY: Yeah.

LEELA: That's right. Bad boys should apologise, and you've been very very bad, haven't you Fry?

FRY: Well... I haven't been that bad, but--

LEELA: (interrupting) Oh, yes you have! You're a naughty boy, Philip J. Fry! And you need to be punished!

{Leela suddenly leaps out from under the covers and lands on the bed. Fry screams as he sees her wearing a skin-tight leather suit, leather gloves and thigh-high leather boots with pointed heels, as well as holding a long, nine-lashed whip. She stands up high upon the bed and gives the lashes a crack with a menacing expression.}

LEELA: It's punishment time!

{Fry screams, opens the door and dives outside the room. He hits the ground and quickly removes the peg from his nose.}

FRY: Come on! Sneeze, damn me! Sneeze!!

LEELA: (OS) Where do you think you're going?

{Fry turns to see Leela standing in the doorway, whip in hand and scowl on face.}

FRY: I don't know, but away from your and your whip!

{Fry sneezes, and opens his eyes to see he is lying on the floor outside Leela's quarters, though the door is closed and there is no Leela. He snaps the peg onto his nose and gets up.}

FRY: So, what weird place is this going to be then?

LEELA: (OS; concerned) Are you okay, Fry?

{Fry turns around and screams when he looks at Leela's face.}

LEELA: What's wrong? It's just me!

FRY: Yeah, but you have... you have...

LEELA: What?

FRY: You have two eyes!

LEELA: Of course I have two eyes. I have ever since Adlai Atkins gave me that operation. You know that.

FRY: No I didn't!

{Fry removes the peg.}

LEELA: And why did you have that peg on your nose? Is it something to do with Zoidberg's smell?

FRY: (nervously) Yeah... his smell has been making me feel strange. I think I'll go lie down.

{Fry quick runs into his quarters and sneezes in there. He quickly puts the peg back on but looks defeated.}

FRY: This is nuts! I'm never going to find my universe at this rate!

{The door opens behind him and Leela walks in. She looks normal to him.}

LEELA: (surprised) How long have you been in here?! I checked here three times and you never were.

FRY: Not long. Can you answer some quick questions for me though?

LEELA: Okay, shoot.

FRY: (quickly) Who's on the ship? How many jars of chronotons do we have? Have you got a son? Do you own any leather clothing and a whip? Are we on for a date tonight? Does Amy--

LEELA: (interrupting) Whoa! Slow down! (pause) Firstly, aside from you, Bender, Zoidberg and I are on the ship. Secondly, there's one jar of chronotons because you spilled two. Thirdly, I do not have a son! Fourthly, don't be a pervert, Fry. Fifthly, sorry, but no. Why the weird questions?

FRY: I'll tell you once I get a DNA test from Zoidberg.

{Moments later, Fry is in Zoidberg's medical bay, sitting on his examination table. Leela and Bender stand just off to the side, while Zoidberg regards Fry directly.}

ZOIDBERG: You want me to what?

FRY: Do a DNA test. Compare my DNA with any previous samples of my DNA you have. I need to know if my RNA matches it.

LEELA: I want to know what this is all about first.

{Fry sighs.}

FRY: Well, the gist of it is, those chronotons we couldn't find are inside me, and they've been making me just between alternate parallel universes.

LEELA: Inside you?!!

FRY: Yep. That's why I have this peg on my nose. Every time I sneeze, I get transported to a different parallel universe! Apparently which universe I belong to can be determined by matching my RNA.

LEELA: That's certainly weird. But it does explain why you've been acting strangely and why you couldn't find those chronotons before.

FRY: Exactly. So can I please have the test to make sure I'm in the right place?

ZOIDBERG: Okay. I'll just find one of your previous blood samples first.

{Zoidberg waddles over to a large fridge and then takes a large, glass flask of thick, red liquid out of it. The other three scream as Zoidberg suddenly opens his mouth and begins drinking it.}

LEELA: (shocked) Zoidberg!! What the hell are you doing?!

ZOIDBERG: What? I like to have a drink of tomato juice before I to tests. So sue me!

{Zoidberg puts the flask back in the fridge, then closes it and opens another one beside it. He looks around inside.}

FRY: We should have known. I mean, it's a sample of blood, not a jug of it!

ZOIDBERG: Ah! Here we are!

{Fry jumps as Zoidberg lifts a whole large drum of sloshing liquid out of the fridge and dumps it nearby.}

ZOIDBERG: Bender always keeps me in good supply of this stuff.

{Zoidberg takes off the lid and then sucks up some blood with a syringe. He waddles over to the DNA Examinator and puts it in. Then, he collects a sample of Fry's blood from Fry and puts it in the machine. Figures appear to flash on the screen comparing both samples.}

FRY: (hopeful) Please... please... please...

{The machine stops with a bleep sound.}

FRY: Well?

ZOIDBERG: According to this, there are zero errors and zero exceptions. A perfect match.

FRY, BENDER, LEELA: (simultaneously) Hooray!

ZOIDBERG: Now, let's get those nasty chronotons out of you.

FRY: (worried) Are you sure we shouldn't wait until the Professor's around?

BENDER: Yeah, do you even know what you're doing, Zoidberg?

ZOIDBERG: (proud) Excuse me, but I have books on such scientific subjects like this, thank you.

{Zoidberg wanders over to a shelf lined with books and looks at them.}

ZOIDBERG: Let's see... All Amoeba's Big and Small... Boring Boron Stories... Ah! Here we are! Chronoton Dispersal!

{Zoidberg takes the book out and starts flipping through it.}

LEELA: Are you sure you're qualified for this?

ZOIDBERG: I'm more sure now than I was ten seconds ago. According to this, (reading) you should be able to get them out of you with a quantum fissure in the space-time continuum.

LEELA: How would we find one of those?!

ZOIDBERG: (reading) Well, apparently you can create one by removing a chronoton and not sealing the hole. If the subject is close enough, the chronoton will attempt to seal the hole, thus removing itself from the individual.

LEELA: I suppose it's worth a shot. Fry, suit up! We're going to collect one more chronoton.

{Moments later, Leela and Fry are outside the ship in their suits. They float to a patch of chronotons, Leela with tweezers and an empty jar. She turns to Fry.}

LEELA: Here goes...

{Leela plucks a chronoton out of space and puts it in the jar. Fry gets closer to the hole as it appears, and suddenly makes strange sounds. Suddenly, a chronoton shoots out of his chest and hits the hole.

LEELA: (happy) It worked!

{Another chronoton shoots out and lands atop the other one.}

LEELA: (unsure) And again...

{Another chronoton does the same. And another. They keep landing in the same spot, but instead of filling the hole, they merge together and become larger.}

LEELA: (worried) Are they supposed to do that?!

{While chronotons still spill out of Fry, there is a flash in front of Leela and when she looks in it's direction she gasps.}

LEELA: Oh my God!

{Fry turns around to look too and gasps. There sits another Planet Express ship beside their own. Another flash comes from their right and it reveals another Planet Express ship.}

FRY: What the hell's going on?!!

{The chronotons stop zooming out of Fry, but more ships appear in the area in random places constantly.}

LEELA: (worried) I don't know! But let's get out of here before one materialises right on our butts!

{They quickly get back to the ship. Once aboard, they run to the cockpit. There, Bender sits at the controls and Zoidberg stands nearby.}

BENDER: I dunno what you guys did, but there's well over a thousand clones of us surrounding us at the moment. And they ain't stoppin'!

FRY: My God! It's like all the parallel realities are appearing here at once or something! There's even other ships appearing too!

{Fry points to some other random ships floating outside. Examples include an Omicronian battleship, a large triangular-shaped vessel, and even the Nimbus. Aboard the Nimbus, Zapp Brannigan gets to his feet with a look of pure shock and surprise on his face. Amongst other DOOP officers, Kif sits at a console nearby.}

ZAPP: Holy hand grenade!!

KIF: Captain, we're receiving two hundred and eighty-five thousand hails. (a sigh) All of them from Captain Turanga Leela of the Planet Express ship.

{Zapp just stands there, his look of shock still present and his mouth open.}

KIF: Captain?

{Zapp suddenly collapses with a heavy thud to the floor without a word. Kif just casually presses a button on his console and speaks into it.}

KIF: Veins? Could you come to the bridge, please?

{Back in the original Planet Express ship, they too are receiving hails. Images appear on their view screen of various alternate versions of them, usually with Leela in the foreground.}

ALT LEELA #1: What's going on?! Why am I talking to myself?!

LEELA: Uh... I'll put you on hold. I have another call.

{Leela presses a button and another Leela appears on-screen.}

ALT LEELA #2: This is Turanga Leela of the Planet Express ship. What's going on? Did you or somebody else transport us to the Mirror Nebula or something?

{Leela quickly just presses another button, this time a stern looking, brown haired woman in her 40's appears.}

WOMAN: This is Captain Waynejay of the starship Voyeur. We were spying on some enemies and got our ship lost. Can you tell us where Earth is?

{Leela quickly presses a button and turns around as Fry speaks.}

FRY: What are we gonna do?! Aw, I really screwed things up this time!

LEELA: (worried) I don't know. But we'll think of something!

{Leela, Fry and Bender turn back to the screen as they hear a familiar voice calling them. The Professor appears on it, looking in a panic.}

FARNSWORTH: (yelling; panicky) Look at me you fools! I can help!

LEELA: Professor?

FARNSWORTH: Not really. I'm not the Professor from your universe, but I can still help you sort this mess out!

FRY: How do you know we were the ship from this universe?

FARNSWORTH: I scanned all ships and determined which one matches the universe using science! Stop asking stupid questions when time is of the essence!

LEELA: Okay, tell us what to do!

FARNSWORTH: You need to destroy the giant chronoton that's creating this mess! Only then can we all be transported back to where we belong. And only your ship can do it, by reversing the polarity of the large chronoton's structure and concentrating it into a quantum-electro pulse with your ship's lasers.

FRY: How do we do that?

FARNSWORTH: Scan the chronoton, feed the data into your ship's laser computer, then invert the polarity and fire.

LEELA: Will it work?

FARNSWORTH: I don't know! But I didn't tell you to try it so that you would think otherwise!

LEELA: Well, let's give it a shot then.

{The Planet Express ship scans the massive purple sphere, then Leela feeds in the information into the computer.}

LEELA: Okay. Ready to fire.

{Suddenly, a female voice yells from the screen.}

VOICE: Wait!!

{The Professor on there is pushed aside with an "Oooh!" and an alternate Leela appears on the screen.}

SCREEN LEELA: You're the Fry who came to our universe, aren't you? The one that let us clone you because we lost ours?

FRY: That's right.

SCREEN LEELA: (smiling) Good. I just want to let the me of your universe know what you did for us, and how sweet you were. (turns towards Leela) You see, uh... Leela, we lost our Fry a few years ago to a space bee accident, and when your Fry came to us, he allowed us to have his brain scanned so that we may have a Fry of our own again. I just wanted you to know that.

LEELA: Well, I--

{Leela cuts off her speaking as the Professor on the screen pushes the Leela of his ship aside again and yells.}

FARNSWORTH: Just shoot the damn chronoton, before it's too late!

{Leela hesitates, then nods with confidence and presses the button. The lasers from the ship hit the large violet orb, and after a few seconds of it buzzing and warping a bit, the object explodes and nothing is left. As soon as it does, there are more flashes outside the window, and the ships around them begin to disappear. Everybody aboard cheers.}

LEELA: It worked!

BENDER: Yeah! And everything is back to normal again!

FRY: I dunno about you guys, but I think we should head back home before anything else goes wrong?

LEELA: Good idea. Next stop, New New York.

{Leela turns the ship around, and heads out of the cloud for the quickest route home.}

{Back on Earth, in the Planet Express building, Fry finishes relating the whole story to Leela, Bender, Amy, Zoidberg, Farnsworth and Hermes at the employee conference table.}

FRY: And that's basically it.

FARNSWORTH: That's quite a story! Of course, I'm very mad at you now because you only brought back one jar of chronotons! The machine needs at least three full jars, as I requested, to work properly.

LEELA: Well, sorry Professor, but we're not going back there to get them. That place is too dangerous.

FARNSWORTH: (angry) Ooooh! Fine then! But I'm crossing you all off my will now!

BENDER: But if we had got all three jars, you'd never die and we'd never get anything anyway!

FARNSWORTH: Dammit! I'm supposed to be the genius, but its always somebody else who sees the gaping holes in my theories and arguments and whatnot! Let's just all go home and get some sleep. I can save up all my anger for tomorrow that way.

{Farnsworth, Bender, Zoidberg, Amy and Hermes all stand up and begin to leave. Fry sits there at the conference table and sighs, but he looks up when he notices Leela is standing beside him.}

LEELA: (sincere) It was really nice what you did for that universe that had no Fry in it, Fry.

FRY: (sarcastic) Yeah. Now they'll soon have a bumbling idiot to screw things up again instead of having nobody to screw things up like they did for the last few years. As far as I know they were the only universe without me and also the only one that managed to have all three jars, and thus a successful mission.

LEELA: I'd rather have you around screwing things up than have a screw-up free trip without you. You're a great friend, Fry.

FRY: Really?

LEELA: Of course. Hell! We would have fired you long ago if we didn't want you around.

FRY: I guess so...

LEELA: Still want to go to a movie?

FRY: (surprised) You want to go?

LEELA: Sure. I haven't got anything else planned. We've got all the time in the world.

FRY: Well, I know one thing's for sure.

LEELA: What's that?

FRY: I'd hate to be the parallel Fry in the universe you didn't agree to go to a movie with tonight. But then, I envy those parallel Fry's who got to go out with you before. But then again--

LEELA: (interrupting) Fry.

FRY: Yeah?

LEELA: Just live in the now, please?

FRY: You're right. I guess I shouldn't regret any decision, because I never know where the alternate could take me. And right now, I'm happy where I am at the moment.

{Leela smiles at him and they both walk out the room, the doors sliding closed and lights shutting off to leave the room in darkness.}

THE END

Buddies