Fry-day Night Fever, Part 2
By J R Hosner
See disclaimer in Part I for legal crap.
Part II: My heart burns for you. Wait, that's not my heart.
[Locke is in the break
room of the ship hitting a vending machine, Fry walks in]
Locke: Bloody death!
Won't accept my fake money will you! [He hits the machine
again] I'll show you.
Fry: What up?
Locke: The Slurm
machine won't accept the fake money Bender gave me.
Fry: Ohh. Watch and
learn. [He then hits it in the same place as Locke was hitting it]
Stupid machine! I'll kill you. [He hits the vending machine
again a loud crunch is heard and a can falls out]
Locke: Alright. Thanks.
Fry: [his hand is
mangled] Oww. I think it's broken. Let me check [he touches his
hand and two fingers fall off] Yeah it's broken. [He bends over to
pick the fingers up and sees another can of Slurm in the slot]
Alright, two for one! [takes the Slurm and leaves his fingers on
you have those put back on?
Fry: Ehh. I'll do
it later. [takes a sip]
Locke: So how did you
adjust to all of this. I mean everything is so different. Everyone
you knew is gone, everywhere we used to go is buried underneath New
New York, aliens roam the streets (Mexican or Italian Joke here?),
robots killing and working with humans, suicide booths. It's
bit much to take in.
Fry: Yeah it is. I
guess I just didn't fit in so much in the past it was just easy
to fit in here.
Locke: Hmm. So if you
could go back would you?
Fry: Ha! No way! Here
I've got a great job as a delivery boy, an good apartment, a
room mate that dreams of killing humans and theft, and several love
interests that I might get to know better if I play my cards right.
It's great here.
Locke: What was your
job in the past?
Fry: I was a uhh,
Locke: Did you have an
apartment in the past?
Locke: Did you have a
Fry: Yeah. His name was
Frank, he was arrested for planning to kill people and rob a bank.
Locke: Didn't you
have a girlfriend in the past?
Locke: So, in other
words, nothing's changed.
Fry: No lots of stuffs…
umm, uhhh not really.
[the intercom switches
on Leela's voice is heard: "We're almost at Strife 3.
Locke get to the weapons locker and get what you need and meet me in
the cargo hold in 10 minutes. Fry get the paperwork for the delivery
and meet me up on the bridge. We should be landing soon."]
Locke: Well I'm
gonna go see what pointy and explosive things are in the weapons
Fry: Yeah I better sew
these things back on before the delivery. [holds up his two detached
[about ten minutes
later in the cargo bay Locke is standing by several large crates
holding two laser pistols practicing a gun kata]
Fry: [he walks in
carrying a couple forms, one hand has the pinky and middle finger
Locke: [starring at
Fry's hand] Umm yeah. Maybe a doctor should have done that.
Fry: Well it was me or
Dr. Zoidberg, and I decided to take my chances.
Locke: You mean that
hideous, foul smelling, poor, lobster is a doctor?
Zoidberg: Horary I'm
being noticed, but he's right, Amy you should have come to me to
get your noses reattached.
Fry: I'm Fry.
try to pull one over one ol' Zoidy, young lady, he's been
studying human anatomy for the past six weeks through his mail order
program. [Growls, snaps claws menacingly at Fry]
Locke: Eeee! Good
Leela: [she walks in
and looks at Fry's hand] Fry you've been hitting the
vending machine again haven't you?
Leela: You should have
at least let a doctor put them- Oh right Zoidberg. Well you should
have come to me then.
Fry: Is that a-
Leela: Finish that
sentence and you'll have 11 digits to sew back on.
Fry: Yes Captain!
Bender: [walks in] Hey
meatbags what's cooken? Who let Zoidberg back on the ship?
Leela: [she brings a
map up on the consol] Now these need to be delivered past this
minefield between the pool of lava and cannon testing range here. The
order says there should be a bunker there which is where the package
Bender: Awww! Why do we
always have to park the ship miles from where the package is supposed
to be delivered?
Leela: Because the ship
isn't insured to park so close to the destination.
Bender: Can't we
just fly over the bunker and drop the crates on it? Look I'll
even forge their signature.
Locke, Fry, and Bender:
Bender: Great idea
[Leela stares angrily
at the crew]
Fry: OK let's
deliver the package.
Leela: Good. When
you're done come right back to ship we have other deliveries to
if you want to see the heroic action and adventures
Fry and Locke have on Strife 3
if you want to stay with Leela as she does her paperwork.
note: Leela will take off her clothes in this option)
have selected "2" 'pervert'"
[Bender, Fry and Locke
leave with two large crates on a hover-dolly. Leela goes to her
Leela: [thinking] Oh
I'm hot this jacket is just too warm. [she removes her
jacket and throws it on her bed and sits at her desk] These boots
are driving me crazy too I should have broken them in earlier.
[she takes off her boots and socks] It is warm in here
maybe I should take my top and pants off and just do the paperwork in
my underpants… Nah, I think I'll just turn on the air
Ha! Shoes and a jacket count as clothes I didn't say she would
take them all off. Ha! Ha! Ha! You got burned! Serves you right for
choosing "2"… pervert.)
Leela: [while signing
various papers] Let's see carry the one… Brain Slugs and
carnivorous mushrooms… [Fry's screams are heard in the
background] Let's see two tons of soylent beans to Starbucks 4
that was yesterday. [explosions are heard followed by laser blasts
and Locke yelling "John Woo eat your heat out!…Oww! Oww!
Oww! It burns!"]… 2,500 dollars… ohh wait no
that's 25 dollars. [Bender's scream is heard "No my
loot! I'll kill you"] …three limbs, two heads,
five torsos ["Ahh! Shoot them not me!" "Sorry Fry
my bad." More laser blasts.] …aphrodisiacs, hip braces
and first aid kits to Amazonia [everything has been calm outside for
about ten minutes then "Cheese it!" is heard followed by
explosions and laser blasts]… 27 owl traps...
[Several minutes later,
Bender, Fry and Locke run on board. Fry's hair and shoulders
are singed, Bender is covered in mud and has several holes in his
back and ass, Locke lost his shirt and has torn and muddy pants and
several cuts and scrapes they are all exhausted]
Leela: Locke are your
well defined pecks OK?
Leela: I mean are you
OK? Lets get you out of those pants.
Locke: [excited] Huh!?
Leela: [embarrassed] I
mean because they're torn and muddy.
Fry: My pants are
Leela: Not now Fry.
Fry: They're even
worse than his [points to left leg which is on fire] Ahhhh.
recently mixed another martini yells also and throws his drink on
Fry's burning leg] Oh wait.
[The alcohol explodes
and more of Fry is on fire]
Fry: [unhappily] Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- *sharp
[Runs franticly and
finally extinguishes self with several half full cans of Slurm]
Leela: [she hasn't
noticed Fry's problem and is staring at Locke as he changes
shirts] Fry, stop screaming like that.
Part II Is over