Futurama

Fan Fiction

Fry-day Night Fever
By J R Hosner

I do not own Futurama or any characters therein. And if a Fox executive is reading this… I hate you! I do however own Locke and The Kill-O-Matic 4000™.


Fry-day Night Fever

Futurama

Now available without a prescription.

Futurama is brought to you by: The Kill-O-Matic 4000™. More stabbity fun than you can shake a stick at.

[Two young human boys are seen on screen playing with large pointy sword/axe/chainsaw/laser hybrids, screen goes black you hear, "Opps" splat]

 

Part I: Under Locke and Key

[We see the exterior of Planet Express, a large truck drives by with "Zorgnok's Human Exterminators" written in bold letters on the side. Inside, in the conference room Bender, Amy, Leela, Fry and Hermes sit at the table]

Bender: …so that's when the cops showed up so I took one of the squirrels and the fire extinguisher and-

Professor: [Walks in and interrupts Bender] Good news everyone! We're getting a new crew member today.

Bender: Woohoo! Less work for Bender.

Zoidberg: Hooray! Maybe he'll be my friend.

Professor: Sorry Zoidberg, no he won't and Bender you don't do any real work now.

Leela: So who's the new crew member Professor?

Professor: Wha? What are you blathering on about there is no new crew member!

Leela: But you just said-

Professor: [interrupting] Not now Leela, I have to introduce you to your newest crew member, Locke

[Locke walks in (He's about 6'1", short spiky light brown hair, soul patch, a bit muscular. He is wearing a close fitting black t-shirt, dark tan cargo pants, black boots, and a black belt with a knife on it)]

Locke: Hi.

Amy: [somewhat provocatively] Hi there.

[Leela, obviously attracted to Locke, sighs]

[Zoidberg also attracted does that purring sound]

Locke [disturbed]: Eeee!

Professor: Locke will be our new security officer. Speaking of security, your next mission will be to deliver these grade "F" hand grenades and defective landmines to Strife 3, a planet that's been in a civil war for over 200 years. [He pats the large crate next to him, it shakes then part of it explodes] Off you go. [Waves]

[Inside of Planet Express Ship in space. Leela is in her chair flying the ship, Bender is making a martini, Locke and Fry are drinking Slurm.]

Bender: A bit of gin, vermouth, a twist of lemon [pours booze in a martini shaker, puts lid on and]

Locke: Nooooooooooooooo! Bender, you can't shake gin it'll bruise it. You have to stir gin. (author's note: it's true ask your friendly neighborhood bartender. The more you know!)

Bender: [swizzle stick extends from one of his finger and he stirs, takes a sip] Hot damn! He's right! [Chugs rest of drink] Hey you're not bad for an organism.

Leela: So Locke I heard you're from Fry's time.

Locke: Yeah back in 2007 I was in the Marines [Begins flashback. It's the past Locke is dressed in formal a Dress Blue Marine uniform and shakes hand with a superior officer a sigh in the background says, "Marine basic training: It makes real war seem like a cake walk."] After I graduated from Boot Camp I went to special training, [scene changes to an open field he is wearing camouflage shaking hand with an angry, buff officer] after I was certified I was selected for a special program by the Secretary of Defense himself [scene changes to a D.C. office he is shaking hands with the Secretary of Defense]. I was going to be frozen for about a thousand years, [scene changes to cryogenics lab he shakes hands with a technician, Fry is seen in a tube in the background] in order to hunt down and kill any evil men who went forward in time of froze themselves like Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Sadam Hussein, Clay Aiken. [scene changes to Locke in a tube a technician begins to shake his hand, it breaks off, he put the hand in the tube and slowly walks away whistling] When I was unfrozen yesterday, I reported for duty but there were only two evil men left, and since Stalin was the governor of New Jersey and Nixon was president I couldn't kill them. So I was fired. I went to what I thought was a phone booth to make a call but it turns out it was a suicide booth. So anyways the cattle prod, knife and drill got caught on a skeleton that was stuck on the side of the booth but the saw wasn't so easy to dodge [Locke touches several cuts on his back that are bleeding slightly]. And as soon as the doors opened, I ran and tripped into a tube, and to make a long story short, I ended up halfway embedded in your building. So Hermes offered me a job as long as I didn't sue.

Leela: So you're a marine?

Locke: Yep.

[Leela sighs dreamily and rests her head on her hand]

Fry: So you were frozen in 2007 right?

Locke: Yeah.

Fry: I was frozen in 1999. What happened during those 8 years?

Locke: Well remember that Y2K doomsday theory that everything would fail on New Years Eve in 2000 and nuclear weapons would explode all over the world and things like that?

Fry: Yeah.

Locke: Well it was wrong… It happened in 2002 and everyone on Earth was vaporized.

Leela: Didn't you say that you weren't frozen until 2007?

Locke: Yeah. Why?

Leela: You just said everyone was killed so how could you have-

Locke: [interrupting Leela] Well I better get another Slurm this stuff is highly addictive. [walks off]

Fry: So Leela I guess that leaves you and me all alone under these beautiful stars. [He slides his chair over and starts to put his arm on her shoulder]

Bender: No, I'm still here.

Amy: And me.

Fry: [Notices other crew members] Crud. [Walks off]

 

Part I is ~Fin~

Buddies