The first words Fry heard that morning were a loud and boisterous "Wake up meat bag!" He rolled over and saw his metallic friend Bender hovering above him, his morning beer in one hand and a cigar in the other. Bender exhaled the black smoke into his friends face and Fry felt his lungs begin to burn. He coughed violently and sat up in his bed. Great way to start the morning, he thought. The clock read eleven AM and he groaned loudly as he stumbled towards the bathroom, his mind still cloudy from the deep sleep he had been in.
"Bender, we're late for work!" he said pulling on a pair of jeans that were lying on the floor. To Bender's surprise he only fell once trying to get them on. Fry quickly pulled the rest of his clothes on before grabbing his cellphone and reaching for the box which held his wallet.
"Where's my wallet Bender?"
Bender reached into his chest cabinet and pulled out the worn leather wallet before handing it to his friend. "Here you go, I went to Costco and bought you a year supply worth of condoms. I don't want any mini meat bags running around here. There's one in your wallet on the million to one chance you get laid anytime soon."
"Thanks," Fry said sarcastically. "Now come on, let’s go."
"You know Leela's gonna tear us a new one." Fry said as they were walking.
Bender took a long drag on his cigar. "Yeah, well Miss Bossy Boots can deal with it. Whatever happens, I'll let you take the full blame."
"Aww, thanks buddy." Fry said oblivious.
Idiot, Bender thought smiling.
Though the fear of what Leela might do to them once they arrived at Planet Express was running rampant through him, Fry smiled. He always loved seeing Leela's face at the start of the day; it made him forget all about the early to mid-morning antics Bender pulled on a daily basis. He knew that he'd catch hell for being late but he didn't seem to mind. At least it was an excuse for Leela to talk to him. He had gotten a headache with pictures the day before and decided that next time she yelled at him all he had to do was apologize as soon as their conversation started instead of defending himself, then offer to make it up to her. Maybe with dinner and a movie? Or a drink at the bar? Catching her off guard was the best plan, and he was going to roll with it. Maybe she'd see him in a different way, maybe give him a chance.
Fry felt the whooshing of air hit him as they walked through the Planet Express automatic doors. He walked a bit faster and burst through the doors of the lounge. Leela was sitting at the table, a pen in her hand scribbling something down in her clipboard. Fry saw the half-filled coffee mug in front of her and was thankful she already had her morning Joe. Leela without her coffee was scary. Really scary.
She looked up, saw Fry standing in front of her and threw her pen down on the table. "Nice of you to show up," she said giving him the evil eye. "This is only the, oh I don't know, umpteenth time you've been late-"
"I know," he said.
Leela froze. "You what?"
"I know and I'm sorry. I don't have an excuse to give you, so I'm not going to try to make one up on the spot. Just know that I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
"Oh," Leela said shifting uncomfortably in her seat. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
Finally she said "Alright then." and went back to work.
"Is there anything I can do?" Fry asked sitting down.
Leela looked up again. "Did you just offer to do work?"
Leela moved her hand to his forehead.
"What are you doing?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Are you sick?"
"Oh, well, there's no deliveries until after lunch so, I guess you can watch TV."
"Okay, cool. Just let me know if I can do something."
Fry plopped himself down on the couch and turned on the TV as Leela attempted to continue her work. What was that all about? she wondered. Fry apologizing for being late, Fry offering to do work. Something's up, she thought. Or is he really trying to change? She stared at Fry, his right leg extended and his left bent at the knee, his arm draped over the back of the couch and Leela felt herself wondering how well she'd fit in the crook of his arm. Shaking the thoughts away she finished the coffee in her mug and went into the kitchen. It was five o'clock someplace so she pulled out a beer and took a sip. When the cold drink and foam hit her lips she thought about how she wouldn't survive without her coffee or alcohol.
"Good new everyone!"
Fry, Leela, Bender and Amy each let out a groan as the Professor shuffled the lounge. They had made their one delivery for the day and were now enjoying some down time which was ruined when the senile 160 year old man entered.
"Where are we going to face our deaths this time?" Leela asked crossing her arms.
"Well unless you get mugged on the street, most likely your apartments. There's no more deliveries for the day, so you can go home. That way I won't have to pay you for just sitting here. Toodoolo!"
They watched as he slowly exited the room and the four friends looked at each other.
"We get to go home?" Fry asked. "That never happens."
"Come on gang," Leela said, "let’s go celebrate!"
After gathering the belongings in the locker room, Fry, Bender, Leela and Amy headed over to the Hip Joint. The bouncer gave Fry and Bender looks, but ended up letting them in because of Leela and Amy. Fry offered to buy the first round and headed over to the crowded bar as the other three went to find a table. All the booths were taking so they settled for a high table with no chairs. It was better than standing on the dance floor awkwardly. Bender lit cigar while he tapped his foot impatiently waiting for Fry to come back with their drinks. Five minutes went by and Bender began growing more impatient.
"Where the hell is that flesh wad? I'm starting to get sober!"
"I'll go check." Leela said, leaving Amy with Bender at the table. She pushed herself through the bar and found Fry at the one end of the bar holding out his money.
"Hey, some beer over here, please!"
"Rough night?" she asked.
"He's literary ignoring this entire half of the bar." he held up his money again. "Can I get a beer?" he paused and smiled. He continued yelling at the man. "You are going to be really embarrassed when you find out that I'm Luke Wilson."
Leela smiled and rolled her eye. "Here," she said taking the money. "Let me. Excuse me, can I get some beer over here!"
When the bartender didn't respond she wrapped her knuckles on the bar. "Great, one of those nights."
"Yeah, and I mean, if you can't service, what am I gonna do? A beer over here!"
The bartender looked their way before going back to his young, blond customers.
"Oh my God, he looked at us." Fry said. "Did you see that?" he paused for a second and finally shook his head. "Okay, you want a beer?"
"Yeah," Leela said.
"Okay, watch this-" he carefully reached over the bar and pulled out four beers bottles and handed two of them to Leela.
"Hey!" the bartender yelled out. "Come on, man!"
"Yeah, thanks!" Fry said tossing the money on the bar. "For your troubles. Thanks a lot."
"Nice job Fry," Leela said as they walked back to the table.
"Yeah, I tried that once at another bar. I got punched in the ear."
The two of them laughed and arrived at the table handing the drinks to Bender and Amy.
"Took you long enough," Bender said opening the bottle and guzzling it. "I need more and I'm not waiting for you slowpokes."
As he walked away, Amy noticed the way Fry was staring at Leela and how she was flipping her hair between her fingers, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "I'll be back," she said, "I'm gonna go see how many phone numbers I can get tonight."
Fry moved around to the other side of the table so he was facing Leela. "So I guess it's just the two of us then."
"Yeah," she said, surprisingly feeling comfortable with him. "Let’s enjoy this. The Professor never lets us go early."
"Here, here." Fry said clinking bottles with her. He knew that this night would be a night to remember.
About an hour later, six empty bottles and two empty shot glasses sat on Fry and Leela's table. Amy and Bender had yet to return, but neither of them seemed to care. They were enjoying each other’s company. Leela was beginning to feel the effects of the booze, but it was a calming buzz and she was enjoying it. She looked around at all the young, skinny, bleached out bimbos around the bar and turned back to Fry. "Am I too old to be here?"
"What?" Fry said taking a sip of his beer. You're crazy."
"I don't look too old?"
"Of course not."
"Am I hotter than any of these skanky bitches?"
"Hell yeah. You look super-hot."
"That was a weird question," she admitted. "But it makes me feel better."
Fry finished his fourth beer and picked up the shot glasses. "You want another?"
"Sure, why the hell not?"
Fry returned shortly and they clinked glasses before downing the whiskey. A loud, heavy beat came on the loud speakers and Leela grabbed Fry's hand. "Come on, let’s dance."
Oh s**t, shake that ass now move it like a gypsy
Stop, whoa, back it up, now let me see your hips SWING
Bender saw Fry and Leela dancing in the middle of the floor and rolled his eyes. Wow, are they drunk, he thought. Amy approached him folding a napkin and putting it in her pocket. She noticed her two friends bumping and grinding on the dance floor and laughed.
"Wow, looks like those two are having fun."
Now drop it looooow and let me see your hips SWING
Down to the floooor now let me see your hips SWING
They watched as Fry bent his knees and began shaking his fist like he was shaking dice and throwing them. Then he did it again. And again. And again.
"I think he's doing the dice thing too much." Amy said.
"That's really all he's got." Bender pointed out.
"Well Kif called, I'm gonna head home." she looked over at Fry and Leela who were dancing very closely. "You think they'll be alright?"
"Who cares?" Bender said eyeing a fembot at the end of the bar. "I'm kicking Fry out anyway. Bender's getting lucky tonight. Awww yeah!"
Fry felt the sweat drip from his forehead and his heart pounding as Leela pressed her back against his chest and he felt her arm slide up his shoulder and she cupped her hand behind his head while rhythmically moving her hips. He responded by placing a hand around her waist and moving his pelvis with hers. He could feel the heat coming off her and felt the smoothness of her skin. Fry couldn't believe how close they were touching; in fact he couldn't believe they were touching at all! He felt a twang of disappointment when she pulled away and turned around, but she got even closer to him, attracted to him like a magnet.
"Do you wanna get out of here?" she asked.
"Sure, what do you wanna do?"
"Let’s go hang out at my place."
The two of them moved through the crowed, hands entwined and they finally stepped outside into the cool night air.
"Let’s try to find a cab-" Fry started before Leela pinned him up against the wall of the building and kissed him. Fry wrapped his arms around her waist wanting to savor the moment since he had a feeling that Leela would soon break it, but instead when she finally broke it she took his hand and led him to the cab idling by.
The cab ride to Leela's apartment was hot and heavy and it continued in the hallway and into her apartment. Fry kicked off his shoes and Leela slipped his jacket off him and threw it over the chair. She kicked off her boots and pulled Fry by his belt into the bedroom before collapsing on the bed. Leela pushed him on his back and unzipped his pants. The two of them pulled away for a moment and kneeled on the bed, both taking their shirts off.
"Wow," Fry said looking at her. "You're prettier than I am."
Leela smiled and laughed before pulling him towards her again.
"Do you have something?" Leela asked as Fry threw his pants on the floor.
"Yeah, hold on." he said rolling over and reaching into his pocket. He found the condom Bender placed in his wallet along with a note.
Dear Meatbag, don't be silly, wrap your willie
He tore the package open and tried to get it on but began struggling with it. "Oh come on," he said silently.
"Hurry up." Leela said sitting up.
"Hold on, hold on, I've almost got it."
Leela let out an annoyed groan. "Just do it already."
Fry looked over at her before throwing the condom on the floor. "Okay."
Leela opened her eye slowly the next morning. Her head pounded and she struggled to get out of bed. She finally sat up and realized she was naked. What the hell happened last night? she thought. That's when she noticed Fry in bed with her. Oh my God. She saw their clothes all over the floor, Fry's hair was a mess and her sheets were falling off the mattress. She had slept with Fry. As she stood up she replayed the events of the night before in her mind remembering their shots, their dancing and their cab ride back to the apartment. Leela walked into the bathroom, took two aspirin and stepped into the hot shower. The warm water and the pills did its trick and she felt better than when she had first woke up. Fry was still sound asleep in her bed, but she didn't mind. She wanted to think about what to say to him when he woke up. Leela stirred her coffee and kept telling herself that the night before was a huge mistake. They were drunk, very drunk. She sat at the table for about forty five minutes and when Fry hadn't emerged from the bedroom she decided to wake him.
She noticed that he had flipped onto his stomach and the blanked only reached his knees. Leela looked away from his bare ass and finally put her foot on top of the mattress, shaking it.
"Leave me alone Bender." he mumbled into the pillow.
Leela shook the bed again and Fry responded with the same thing. She rolled her eye and gently nudged him with her foot. He bolted awake and looked up at her.
"Hi," he said before clearing his throat. Looking over his shoulder his eyes went wide and he looked back at Leela. "I'm naked."
"Yeah," she said looking away.
"Did we have sex?" he whispered.
Not knowing what else to do he nodded. “Nice.” He sat up and pulled the blanket over him. "What time is it?"
"Why are we awake?" he asked rubbing his eyes. “Let’s go back to sleep.”
"Fry, we have to get to work."
"Oh, yeah right." he paused and gave her a shy smile. "Wanna get breakfast first?"
"Okay," she heard herself say. What?
Fry quickly dressed and the two of them walked out of the apartment. Leela saw her neighbor Pete with his three year old daughter in his arms.
“Morning Leela.” He said.
“What’s up man?” Fry said shaking his hand. “I’m Fry.”
“Fry, nice to meet you.” He looked over at Leela with a smirk on his face. “Ah, to be young.”
“Stop it,” Leela said walking towards the stairs.
“You stop it.” He said.
“Say hi to Debbie for me.” She said as he and Fry walked downstairs.
“Will do.” He waved. Once they were out of ear shot he turned to his daughter. “Never do what they did.”
“I’m gonna do it,” she said in a cute little baby voice.
“You are?” he asked laughing. “Uh-oh. Someone’s getting home schooled.”
“Man,” Fry said sitting down in the seat across from Leela in the restaurant. “I just hacked up something. I feel a lot better though. Are you okay? Do you need to throw up or anything?”
“No,” she said motioning to her cup. “The coffee’s fine.”
“Good, good.” He said sipping his own.
“Last night was amazing.” He finally said. “I mean, what I remember of it. I guess we went a little overboard, huh?”
“Yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”
Oh no, Fry thought. He knew what was coming. The talk about how they were both drunk, their judgments were fuzzy and the whole night was a mistake. He could feel his heart breaking inside as Leela spoke.
“No, yeah I get it.” He finally said. “We did get a bit crazy last night and it’s over now.”
“Good, let’s just get back to how things were.”
“Yeah,” he said trying to hide his pain.
“Should we get going and head over to Planet Express?”
“Uhm, actually I think I’m going to head home and change. I mean, should we show up with bed head and one of us in yesterday’s clothes?”
“I guess you’re right. I’ll see you there then.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you there.”
Fry watched as Leela got up and walked out and he slunk down in his seat. “Wow,” he said softly. “That was brutal.”
Paying for his coffee and breakfast he made his way back to the Robot Arms apartment and found Bender sitting on the couch.
“Well, well, well,” his friend said. “Look who’s doing the walk of shame.”
“Cut it out Bender.”
“So, you had your shot with Leela. The way you two were dancing last night, I’d thought you’d knock her up right there. And I don’t want you two over here shooting DNA at each other. Leave that at her place.”
“Well don’t worry about that. She made it pretty clear that last night was a mistake.”
“Really? You were that bad? Damn.”
At Planet Express, Leela stood fixing herself another cup of extra strong coffee. She was going to need it if she wanted to make it through the day. She had an extra bottle of aspirin in her locker and had a feeling she would need it later. Though she knew it was the right thing, she felt bad about breaking the news that the night before was a mistake. If not he’d try to push her into a relationship, something she wasn’t ready for, something that she wasn’t sure if she even wanted. Especially with Fry. Yes he was nice and sweet and he cared about her. But he was childish, irresponsible and lazy. Though she had to admit, he was amazing in bed. Not to compare-oh why not- the difference with Fry than with any other man she’d slept with was the fact that he raised her heart rate before and he made her laugh. He let her laugh. But all of that didn’t matter if he couldn’t commit to a serious relationship.
“Well look who’s here.” Leela heard someone say behind her. Turning around she saw Amy smiling.
“I’m surprised you showed up today. You and Fry were getting pretty wild last night.”
“Yeah,” Leela said nervously, “we got a little crazy.”
“So did anything happen after the club?”
Leela paused for a second and debated on whether or not to tell Amy. She needed to talk to someone about it; she needed someone to help her not feel as guilty as she already did and remind her that mistakes happen.
“Yeah,” she said. “We spent the night at my apartment.”
“Wait, you and Fry?”
“Just last night.” She pointed out. “It was a mistake. We were both really drunk and it just sort of happened.”
“Does he know it was ‘a mistake’?”
“Yes, I let him down this morning.”
“How’d he take it?”
“Better than I thought he would.”
“Why’d you do it?” Amy asked filling her coffee mug.
“I don’t know. We were just drinking and talking, then we were dancing, then kissing and then we ended up in bed together.”
“Did he wear protection?”
“Yes,” Leela said. “Thank God.”
8 weeks later
Leela gently landed the Planet Express ship on the docking bay of the Nimbus. Unfortunately they had a delivery for none other than Zapp Brannagan.
“Well, well, well.”
Leela felt a chill go down her spine and heard the clicking of his boots.
“Isn’t it my paramour, Leela?”
“Zapp, how many times do I have to tell you? We spent one night together and it was a mistake. I never want to see you again. The only reason I’m here is because we have a delivery—“ she paused as her stomach did a flip and she felt a burning in her esophagus.
“Are you okay?” Zapp asked.
“Yeah,” Leela said feeling the acid in her stomach churn. “As I was saying, you and I will never, ever-“
She felt the burning again and the pain reached her throat and she threw up all over Zapp’s shoes.
Fry, who was standing by, rushed over, holding her hair back. “Leela are you okay?”
“If this is one of those joke shows I’m not into it.” Zapp said looking around. “Kif! Get over here and mop up my boots.”
Fry ignored him and put Leela’s arm around his shoulders and led her back to her cabin. “Jeeze Leela, that was pretty bad.”
“I know,” she groaned. “I don’t know what happened.”
“Just lie down and relax. The auto pilot will get us home. Try to get some sleep, maybe you’ll feel better.”
“Thanks Fry,” she said closing her eye. “You’re a great friend.”
But only a friend, he thought. That’s all I’ll ever be.
Back at Planet Express Bender sat at the conference table computer looking over the surveillance video from the camera in front of the ship. He had a great video of Leela puking all over Zapp’s boots, and he wanted to share it with the world.
“Hey Leela,” he said, “Want to relive this morning?”
He played the video and Leela saw herself holding her stomach, throwing up all over Zapp’s boots.
“Is that the sound of you puking?” Bender asked laughing. “You sound like Jabba the Hut dying.” He started making choking noises and kept laughing.
“Quit it Bender. And shut that off, it’s making me sick.”
“We should put this on You Tube. It’s hilarious!”
“No, we should just-“ she paused as she felt the burning again and the refluxing in her throat.
“What?” Bender said. When he saw Leela’s face he put his hands up. ”Whoa, no! Right in the garbage, right there.”
Bender turned away as Leela threw up again and he heard her groan. “Oh my God.”
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked. “Are you sick?”
“I don’t know.” She said wiping her mouth with a Kleenex.
“What did you eat?”
“I haven’t eaten today.”
“God, I hope you’re not pregnant.” He said going back to the video
“No, that’s impossible. You have to have sex to get pregnant.” Leela paused and a look of fear came over her face.
“Hey Scruffy!” she heard Bender say. Turning around she saw him on his cellphone. “I need you down here. Leela just puked….That’s what I said! She’s probably prego, right? What does she look like? She looks like she just realized she’s pregnant.”
“No, no I can’t be pregnant.”
Leela sat on the couch of Amy’s apartment nervously twiddling her thumbs. “That night we went to the bar was what…8 weeks ago?” she paused. “Oh no.”
“Did you get your monthly visitor?” Amy asked.
“Yeah…I think. Or, wait, no. Crap. I don’t know. I’ve been so busy at Planet Express I don’t even know.”
“Are you that lady who doesn’t realize she’s pregnant until she sits on the toilet and a kid pops out?”
“Can you not joke right now Amy? This is serious!”
“Okay, okay…so you think Fry got you pregnant.”
“He’s the only person I’ve slept with.”
“Have you taken a test yet?”
“No, I’m too scared to.”
“Well that’s the only way you’ll know for sure.” Amy stood up and grabbed her purse. “Come on.”
One trip to the drug store, and three bags full of pregnancy tests and a case of bottled water later, Leela and Amy returned to the apartment taking one test from each box.
Leela held the first one in her hand as the timer went off. “Amy what’s two lines?”
“Uh, two lines mean you are pregnant. Try another one.” She paused and called out. “If you don’t have to pee don’t force it! You’ll break a blood vessel in your eye!”
As Leela tried three more tests Amy picked up one and called out to her. “Oh good, this one has a smiley face!” she paused and continued looking at it. “Oh wait, I think that’s bad.”
Leela stood in front of the counter looking at ten different pregnancy tests, all positive.
“These can’t all be positive.” Amy said. “Let me try one.”
Five minutes later Amy held the test in her hand. “What is this? What the hell is this?”
Leela looked over at the word ‘Yes’ on Amy’s test and then saw one sitting next to her. “I think you picked up the wrong one.”
Amy looked to her side and saw a negative test. “Oh, thank God.” She said letting out a sigh of relief. “That would have sucked.”
Leela looked at Amy and groaned.
“Sorry!” Amy said patting her hand. “I’m sorry. It scared me.”
“Well I guess that’s it.” Leela said. “I’m pregnant with Fry’s baby.”
“Are you gonna call him?”
“Maybe I should wait until after I see the doctor.”
“You need to call him.”
“I don’t want to call him; I don’t need to call him.”
“I should call him, shouldn’t I?”
Leela let out an annoyed sigh and dialed Fry’s number on her phone. She knew that it was inevitable; she would have to tell Fry at some point. But how would he react? Would he be able to stand up and take some responsibility for their child? What really bothered Leela was that even if he did help, she was still pretty much raising the baby by herself, not with a husband, or even a boyfriend. Just a co-worker she had a one night stand with. Her heart pounded with every ring and finally she heard Fry’s voice on the other line.
“Fry-lo” he said.
“Hey Fry, it’s Leela.” She heard the sound of pots crashing on the other line and guessed he had dropped it.
“Hey watch what you’re doing meat bag!” she heard Bender scream.
“Sorry Bender!” he called out. “What’s up Leela?”
“Well, I uh-“ she looked at the boxes of pregnancy tests on the floor and shut her eye. “I was wondering if you wanted to get together for dinner tonight.”
She waited for a response but one never came. “Fry are you still there?”
“Yeah,” she heard him say. “Uh, yes of course! How about Forbidden Planet Hollywood? 9:00?”
She looked at her watch, it was only 4:00 and she wanted to get this over with. “Can we make it more like six? I’d like to keep it early.”
“Sure, beat the rush and have more time for later. Dessert. Sweet.”
Leela rolled her eye. “Yeah, I’ll just meet you there.”
“Sounds good. Later.”
Leela hung up her phone and looked at Amy.
“What the hell Leela?”
“I can’t do it over the phone. I have to tell him in person. I promise, I’ll tell him.”
Fry and Leela sat at a table tucked in the corner at Forbidden Planet Hollywood. Fry had a beer in front of him while Leela just had water. She thought that Fry would think something was up when she didn’t order a beer, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“So how’s everything?” Fry said.
“Good, good. I just thought, you know we should hang out and talk.”
“Yeah…You look very pretty by the way. “
“Thanks,” she said feeling her stomach turn. “I just thought that we should get to know each other better. We’ve worked together a long time, but I feel like there are things I don’t know about you. Like, what’s something no one at Planet Express knows about you?”
“Uh,” he thought. “Oh! When I was twenty I got ran over by a postal truck.”
“Oh my God!”
“It was more my foot than anything. But I got like ten grand from the New York government. And that lasted me until I got frozen. I mean, I bought a lot of video games and beer, you know? Now I just, eat a lot of spaghetti.”
“Oh, wow.” She said. Stop stalling! Tell him right now.
“Listen Fry, there’s something I’ve got to tell you; it’s actually the reason why I called you.”
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just spit it out: I’m pregnant.”
“F**k off.” He said immediately.
“What?” Leela asked surprised.
“What?” Fry responded.
“I’m pregnant.” She repeated.
“With a baby. Fry, you’re the father.”
He stared at her with a blank look on his face. “I’m the father?”
“Wha-how the hell did this happen?”
“I don’t know, I thought you were wearing a condom.”
“What?!” Leela said horrified. “Why not?”
“Because you told me not to.”
“I did not tell you to not wear a condom!”
“Okay, listen, this is what I remember: I had the condom, it was almost on, and you said ‘Just do it already’!”
“I didn’t mean do it without a condom, I meant like hurry up! Get going!”
“Well I thought that you were on the pill, or had a patch or something. Why didn’t you stop me once we started?”
“I couldn’t tell, obviously, I was drunk!”
“Well what the hell Leela?!”
“You are unbelievable.” She said shaking her head.
Fry calmed himself and took a deep breath. “Okay, maybe I reacted unfavorably…so what do we do now? I don’t know how this works.”
“I’m going to the doctors next week, and I’d like you to come with me.”
“So, you haven’t seen the doctor yet?”
“So you don’t know that you’re pregnant.”
“Well, I’m not 100% -“
“You’re not 100%! I bet you’re not pregnant.”
One week later, Fry and Leela sat in the doctor’s office, surrounded by other pregnant women who were with their husbands. Some were showing a little, some were showing a lot, and some were like Leela, coming to see if they were pregnant. Although Leela figured they were more excited than she was.
“Trunga Leela?” the nurse called.
“Come on,” Leela said to Fry as she stood up.
“I have to come?”
The two of them walked down the hall towards the examination room and Fry swore he could hear his heart beating. He could sense Leela’s fear as well and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. They entered the room where the nurse handed Leela a gown to change into and closed the door. Fry stood leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
“What?” he asked when she started glaring at him.
“Turn away while I undress.”
“What’s the point?” he said rolling his eyes and turning around. “We both know what led us here.”
“Shut up Fry.”
He sighed and closed his eyes.
“Okay,” Leela said after a few minutes. She took a seat and Fry leaned back against the wall.
They waited in silence until there was a knock at the door and a middle aged man with greying hair walked in wearing a white lab coat over a shirt and tie.
“Hello, I’m Doctor Damrich.”
“Hi,” Fry said shaking his hand. “I’m Phil Fry.”
“And you must be Leela.” He said shaking her hand.
“So what can I do for you today, Mr. and Mrs. Fry?”
Leela paused a moment and finally answered. “I took a home pregnancy test,” and nine others, she thought. “And it said I was pregnant.”
“Well let’s take a look.” He said taking a seat on his stool and prepared the machine. Putting on his gloves he snapped them at the wrist and Leela looked up at Fry who was obviously a little creeped out by the guy.
“This is gonna be cold,” he told Leela holding the wand in his hand before looking at Fry. “And you’re next.” He started laughing but when he realized Fry didn’t find it as funny he gave an awkward cough. He then looked at Fry and gave him a shrug and Fry just stared at him
What the hell? Fry thought
“Alright,” he said looking at the screen. “There’s the uterus, that’s the amniotic sac, and then there’s the embryo. Do you see that? That flicker is a heartbeat.”
Leela and Fry stared at the screen with wide eye(s).
“That-that’s it?” Leela asked.
“Yeah, you are definitely pregnant. About eight or nine weeks. Congratulations you two.”
Leela looked over at Fry who was still staring at the screen: eyes wide, jaw dropped, chest heaving as he struggled to breath.
“Oh my God,” Leela whispered as her voice broke.
“Let me print you two a picture,” Damrich said.
Leela nodded her head and tried to seem excited but she couldn’t hold it in and the tears started flowing. “Oh no.” she said crying.
“Oh,” Damrich said. “Uh, I’ll leave you two alone.”
Fry watched as he closed the door and he felt himself begin to slide down the wall until he was on the cold floor. Leela continued crying and he reached up and patted her hand. What are we going to do?
Fry walked into his apartment and crashed face first on his beat up couch. The apartment was a mess: dirty clothes and empty beer bottles and cans littered the floor. Pizza boxes piled up in the corner, dust was everywhere. Not a suitable place to raise a baby. A baby, he thought, I’m going to be a father. He buried his face into the pillow and let out a scream. He wasn’t sure why though. He didn’t know what to think at this point. Leela was pregnant with his baby but they weren’t together, and she seemed to show no interest in being in a relationship with him. Fry mostly felt sorry for her. He had ruined her life as far as he was concerned. Flipping on his back he stared at the ceiling and wished his brother or even his dad was there so he could talk to them. Yancy could have calmed him down and told him what the right thing to do was, while his father would probably yelled at him and demanded he proposed to Leela immediately, even if they were together. Fry knew he wouldn’t want “some bastard child” as his grandson. He could almost hear his father’s voice. Sitting up Fry remembered how he always wished his dad would act like a dad rather than a drill sergeant when he was a kid. Fry wanted someone to play catch with, someone to read him bedtime stories, someone to take care of him when he fell and hurt himself, not someone to tell him to walk it off, or tell war stories and pelt him with balls until he caught one. The doctor had given Fry a picture of the sonogram, and even though it was just a small little peanut shaped blob he smiled and felt tears forming when he saw it. That was his son or daughter. Taking it into his room he pinned it up on his wall and vowed to be there for his child and for Leela. She needed him and he needed her. He wouldn’t be able to raise the baby on his own either. Most of all he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be with her.
“Hey skin tube!” he heard Bender call out from the other room. Fry looked at the picture one last time before heading out into the living room. He saw Hermes at Bender’s side.
“Hey Bender. Hermes what are you doing here?”
“Bender said he had a good place to, uhm, hide some plants.”
“Where the hell have you been?” Bender asked.
“Uh, sit down Bender. We need to talk.”
“What?” he said lighting a cigar.
“I went to the doctors with Leela.”
“Why the hell would you want to do that?”
“She asked me to.” He paused. “Do you remember that night we all went out about two months ago?”
“When you and Leela got so brick faced you did it?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“What about it?”
“What?!” Bender said. “You knocked her up?!”
“Yes. There was some…miscommunication between us and,” he paused again. “I didn’t put on a condom.”
Bender stared at his friend for a moment before slapping him across the face. “What the hell is wrong with you? I can’t believe you didn’t wear a rubber. Who does that?! I wouldn’t have wasted your money on those condoms if you weren’t going to use them. I could have got some beer and hookers! You gotta know all the tricks so you don’t get yourself in this position. Like, for example, if a woman's on top, she can't get pregnant. It’s just gravity.”
Shaking his head, Fry said. “It was a dumb mistake and now I don’t know what to do!”
“You know what I think you should do: take care of it!”
“No, no I can’t ask her to do that. I don’t want her to do that.”
“I think it’s great that you’re going to be a dad Fry,” Hermes said patting his shoulder. “You’ll learn that fatherhood is not just an excuse to play with your old toys.”
“It’s not?” Fry asked. “Damn.”
“Listen, even though Planet Express is not a daycare, I’ll be there to rear your child.”
“Did you hear that Fry?” Bender said laughing. “Don’t let him near the kid; he wants to rear your child!”
“It’s just that,” Fry started, “When I came to the future, I had this vision of what my life would be like. And this situation is not part of it. I mean…I know that if I were to talk to my dad, he’d probably say that if I wasn’t born, he would have avoided a whole mess of trouble.”
“Fry, that’s not true.” Hermes said. “I bet you and your brother were the best things that ever happened to him.”
“Really? Well, then I just feel sorry for him.” He laughed.
“Fry, just do the right thing.” Hermes said, “And everything will work out for itself.”
“I’m going to be a Grandfather.”
Leela sat on the couch down in the sewer with her parents on either side. After her doctor’s appointment she went down into the underground city to tell her parents the news. She needed some advice. Fry hadn’t said much when they walked out of the office and she was thankful for that. They needed to talk about it, but Leela wasn’t ready yet, she needed some time to think about this on her own.
“You’re happy about that?” she asked her dad as he gave her a vertical smile.
“This, this is a disaster.” Leela said shaking her head.
“What?” Munda said. “No! A flood is a disaster, a fire is a disaster. This is a good thing, this is a blessing!”
“I just can’t believe this.” She said.
“What are you going to tell your boss?”
“What? How can you not tell them?”
“Well, I mean, they won’t be able to tell until I’m, what six months pregnant?”
“Three months.” Her mother said.
“No.” Leela said mortified.
“Three months. Fat in the face, big bump, fat ass.”
“Oh my God.” Leela said putting a hand on her stomach.
“What about the father?” Munda asked. “Who is it?”
“My friend Fry,” Leela said. “We went out with a couple of co-workers one night and…got a bit crazy.”
“Fry?” Morris said.
“You know, I’ve always liked him.”
“Yes. Partially because he saved us from being killed by you, but he’s always treated you right. Even before we met we watched how he treated you at Planet Express.”
Leela shook her head. “I know, he’s always been a great friend, but I don’t know if I could be in a relationship with him. He’s so immature; it’s like dealing with a child.”
“Well, you know you will be dealing with a child soon enough.” Munda said. “You could at least give him a chance. Tell him what you want to do and talk things out. Who knows, maybe you’ll find out something you don’t know about him.”
Leela sat Indian style on her bed with her phone in her hand. She scrolled through the numbers, past Fry, back to Fry and then past him again before finally going back once more and hitting “Call.” Leela felt her heart stop as the line rang. Once…twice…three times. On the fourth he answered.
“Fry, it’s Leela.”
“Oh, hey Leela.” Leela could hear him rustling his sheets and she guessed he was lying in bed just as she was thinking about their situation.
“Hi, I, uh, I just wanted to call and let you know that I’ve decided to keep the baby. And…that’s what’s happening with that.”
She heard him let out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh my God, Leela, I’m so happy you decided that. That’s what I was hoping you would do. And I know that we didn’t plan this but, you know, sometimes you just have to deal with what’s thrown at you.” She could hear his voice break a little as he spoke. “And I know that my job is to support you and help you and I hope you’ll let me because I really want to be there for you and the baby.”
Leela felt the warm stream of tears flow down her cheeks but she smiled at Fry’s words. She cleared her throat before speaking, but it still cracked with emotion. “It means a lot that you said that Fry. Thanks.”
“So,” she heard him sniffle a bit. “What-what do we do now? Because,” he chuckled, “I have no idea what comes next.”
Leela smiled and laughed a little. “I have no idea either.” She thought about what her mother said earlier that day and decided to take a chance for once in her life. “Why don’t we get together and we can talk about it?”
“Like a date?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said smiling.
“Okay,” he said. “Yeah. How about Friday after work?”
Leela took a deep breath and stared at the door to Fry’s apartment. Surprisingly her stomach wasn’t tossing and turning like it had been, but she was feeling those first date jitters. She decided to get a little dressed up for their night out, so she put on a black skirt and a white blouse. She had let out a sigh of relief when she dressed. If her mother was correct, she had about a month until her clothes wouldn’t fit.
Fry opened the door and stood before her in a clean pair of jeans and a grey tee-shirt. She guessed he had gone shopping earlier for new clothes.
“Hey,” he said smiling. “You look beautiful.”
“Come on in.” he said moving out of the way.
Aside from Bender’s pile of empty beer cans next to him and the box of cigars on the table, the apartment was very clean.
“Let me just get my shirt,” Fry said walking towards his bedroom. “Have a seat.”
Leela sat down next to Bender as Fry’s door closed.
“Hey Leela. I heard Fry knocked you up.”
Leela rolled her eye. “Yeah, Bender.”
“Want a drink?” he said offering her a beer.
“No! Bender, I can’t drink if I’m pregnant.”
“Oh. Okay good, I was just trying to be polite.”
Leela hear Fry’s door open and saw him standing there in a dark blue collared shirt over his grey shirt. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Bye Bender.” She said standing up and following Fry into the hall.
“Hey just so you know, this place is off limits for a nightcap!”
“The thing is, if this hadn’t happen, I wouldn’t have wanted to have a baby for at least five years.”
Leela and Fry sat in Elzar’s at a table in the middle of the dining room each enjoying their meals.
“At least.” He said. “I mean, I’m still getting used to the fact that someone would have sex with me.”
Leela laughed and took a sip of her water. She would much rather be having wine, but what could she do? Still, she was having a good time with Fry. He was being responsible and kind and a true gentleman. He had held doors open for her, pulled out her chair and when the check came he refused to let her pay. After their dinner they took a cab to the mall where Fry led her into a baby store. He was really trying to be a part of this.
“Hey, look Leela.” He picked up a little baby cap, placed it on his head and then took a onesie and tucked it in his collar. “This is what will be coming out of you in seven months.”
Leela smiled and laughed. “That’s a lovely picture.”
“I know. This is exactly what our baby will look like.” He folded the clothes back up and set them down. “When we can, do you want to know what it is?”
“Not really. Why do you?”
“I’d like it to be a surprise.”
“What if I promise not to tell you?” he asked.
They started walking out of the store towards the book store at the end of the mall.
“Well, I guess that would be okay. But you have to promise you won’t tell me.”
“I pinky promise.” He said holding up his little finger. Leela smiled and entwined her finger with his and they shook on it.
“Okay,” she said, “You can find out the sex of the baby.”
Fry, rather than untangling his finger from Leela’s, entwined the rest of his with hers. They continued walking hand in hand throughout the mall. He couldn’t believe that he and Leela were on a date or that she was having a good time. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad situation after all; maybe they would be able to form a real relationship because of this.
The two of them entered the book store and Leela released Fry’s hand. “I’m going to look around the fiction section.”
“All right,” he said, “I’ll meet you there in a minute.”
He wanted to really show Leela how serious he was about being a father so Fry made his way over to the parenting section of the store. He browsed the titles and picked four books including The Expecting Father and What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
Carrying the books over towards the fiction section he saw Leela reading the back of a book.
“Hey,” he said, “Check it out: What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”
“What can we expect?”
Fry flipped the book to a random page and scanned it. “Well, you can’t eat sushi, you can’t smoke cigarettes, you can’t smoke pot, you can’t smoke crack, you can’t jump on trampolines,” he paused and shook his head laughing. “This is just a giant list of stuff you can’t do. You’re gonna be so bored. I mean, I’m going to be on the trampoline, smoking crack and eating sushi and you’re not going to have anything to do.”
“It sounds thrilling.” Leela laughed and once again thought about how much fun she was having with Fry. She never expected that he of all people would take responsibility for getting her pregnant, take her to the doctors and even buy babies books.
“Seriously,” he said, “I’ll put these in my bathroom and they’ll be read by tomorrow morning.” He motioned to her book. “You want me to get you that?”
“Uh, sure.” She said putting the book she picked up on his stack of books. “Thanks Fry.”
“Yeah, no problem.” He said walking towards the register. “These are heavy.”
“So,” he asked while a pimply teenager rang them up. “What do you want to do now?”
“Let’s just go hang out at my place, I mean if that’s okay with you.”
“Oh, yeah sure.”
Fry set down the bag of books by Leela’s front door and took a seat on her new couch. She had made some changes in the eight weeks since he had last been there. Not only had she replaced her chair with a couch, she had also painted her living room a light blue color and had pictures of the New New York sky line.
He heard Leela and her neighbor Debbie outside in the hall talking about what was going on. He couldn’t make out what exactly they were saying but Leela opened the door a few minutes later and sat down with him.
“She wanted to know if we wanted to come over for breakfast tomorrow.”
“Oh, sounds nice.” He said.
“Yeah. And I’m sure you’ll like them, especially Pete. Debbie and I have become good friends, and I’ve watched their two little girls a few times. They’re so sweet.”
Fry nodded and the two of them sat in silence for a while before he spoke up. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than I have been,” she said.
Wow, Fry thought, what’s with the awkwardness? But then he realized: they had just gone out on a date and now they were in Leela’s apartment. He debated whether or not to make a move but Leela beat him to it and scooted closer to him, folding her legs under her and leaning against Fry’s shoulder. He looked up and saw that their faces were only inches apart and he smiled.
Leela wasn’t sure what came over her, but she began to feel completely different about Fry. She actually wanted to be close to him, to kiss him and feel his arms around her. Their lips met softly and they stayed like that until Leela began to kiss him harder and she felt his hand slide up her back. They broke the kiss and Leela stared into his eyes smiling.
“Hey,” he said. “At least we don’t need a condom.”
Leela’s smiled faded and she pulled away, moment broken.
“But,” he said realizing his mistake. “We can. I mean, I brought one in case you wanted to. But I don’t have, like, VD or anything.”
“It’s not that.” Leela said.
“I thought maybe we could get a little fun out of your situation, you know?”
“Okay, it’s not my situation, it’s our situation.”
“Of course, I know that.”
“And just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that all romance goes out the window for me.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just, really nervous because, I like you. A lot.”
“I'm nervous, too. I'm really nervous. But you’re a really sweet guy, Fry.”
“Thanks.” He said giving her a small smile. “Can I just ask you to do one thing for me?”
“Don’t-don’t screw me over. I mean, I’m the type of guy that girls screw over, so-“
“Fry, I won’t. I promise.”
“Okay. I just, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I can’t raise this baby on my own.”
Leela smiled and kissed him again. “Fry?”
“I like you too.”
The next morning Fry and Leela sat at the dining room table in Pete and Debbie’s apartment with their daughters Sadie and Charlotte. Fry awkwardly at his breakfast while three year old Charlotte continually smiled at him. He kept moving his arms awkwardly trying to air out his shirt so no one could tell it was the same grey tee shirt he wore the night before.
“Who’s he?” Sadie asked.
“I’m Phil Fry.” He said.
“He’s,” Leela paused. “My boyfriend.”
“I’ve never seen him.”
“He’s a new boyfriend.” She said.
“But a boyfriend.” He pointed out.
“So, he came over for breakfast because he’s your new boyfriend?” Sadie asked.
“Yeah.” Debbie said, “He came from his house. Drove over to our house because he thought it would be fun to have breakfast with us, so he drove his car from his house to our house to have breakfast.”
“Because he likes breakfast so much.” Pete said smirking at Debbie.
“I love breakfast.” Charlotte said.
“You guys wanna hear something neat?” Fry asked. He pointed at Leela and said “We’re going to have a baby.”
“But, you aren’t married. Aren’t you supposed to be married to have a baby?”
“You don’t have to be.” Said Pete.
“But they should be,” Debbie responded nervously, “because they love each other.”
After breakfast the six of them went to the park down the street where Sadie and Charlotte wanted Fry to play with them. There was a little jungle gym where Charlotte made Fry sit and watch her bear.
“Feed the bear.” She said walking towards the bag of toys they bought.
“Oh, okay, do I feed your bear the grass?” he asked. “I bet I know what else your bear would like to do with the grass: smoke it!” He started laughing and waved at Leela and Debbie sitting on the bench along the fence of the park.
“So what do you think of Fry?” Leela asked Debbie.
They watched as Charlotte handed him a ball and he threw it. “Go get it.” He said. “Fetch…alright bring it back.”
“He’s playing fetch with my kids” Debbie said. “He’s treating my kids like their dogs.”
“No he’s not.” Leela said as Fry threw the ball once she brought it back.
“Okay, fetch.” They heard him say.
“Who plays fetch with kids?” Debbie asked.
“He’s trying.” Leela said. “He’s making an effort.”
They watched as Fry tried to stand up but got caught in the little arch way before falling on his face while Sadie and Charlotte laughed. Sadie went up and tapped Fry on the arm saying “Tag” before she and Charlotte started running.
“I’m gonna get you!” Fry said chasing them in a circle around the jungle gym. He ran around three more times before he started stumbling and fell on his face.
“God, he’s already winded.” Debbie said. “How’s he going to keep up with a baby?”
“Just give him a chance. He’s always been there for me.”
“Okay, I will.”
Pete was sitting by watching Fry play with his girls and walked over when Fry fell on his face. Helping him up, he led him over to the bench. “Take a load off, buddy. I got something to keep them occupied.” Reaching into the bag Debbie brought with them he pulled out bubbles for them and they immediately started going crazy.
“Man, they love bubbles.” Fry said.
“Oh, are you kidding? They go crazy over bubbles. I mean, what’s so great about bubbles? I wish I liked anything as much as my kids liked bubbles.”
“That’s sad.” Fry said.
“It’s really sad.” He said. “Their smiling faces just point out your inability to enjoy anything.”
“Am I gonna be okay?” Fry asked.
“Who knows? Are any of us okay? I’m not okay.”
Fry shook his head. “Thanks for the pep talk.”
A few weeks later Fry and Bender sat on the couch watching All My Circuits. Fry took a sip of his beer and placed it on the pile of baby books he had been using as a coaster. He knew he promised Leela he would read them and he did intend on doing it eventually, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“What do you think of those baby books?” Bender asked. “Light reading?”
He looked over at the books and chuckled. “I think they make a hell of a coaster.”
The closing credits of the episode appeared on screen and Fry looked at his watch. “By the way, I can’t hang out tonight. I promised Leela I’d go with her to meet gynecologists. She doesn’t like hers.”
“How are things going with you two?”
“She’s trying to form a relationship with me.”
“She’s entertaining the idea of being with you, huh?”
“Yeah, exactly. I’ll take that.”
“Well she’s taking you to the gynaechiatrist or whatever.”
“It’s not an exactly romantic atmosphere, Bender. Although I’m pretty sure that’s the closest to a threesome I’ll ever get.”
“You know, I get why you were uncomfortable with that guy.” Fry said as he and Leela sat in the back of a cab on their way to the doctors. “I mean, before he started doing everything he gave me this look like ‘Sorry man, but it’s the job.’ And I was like ‘Don’t look at me when you’re down there!’ I mean, get in and get out. Get on with your day, you know?”
“Believe me Fry; I know what a weirdo he was. Hopefully this new doctor will be better.”
Fry and Leela sat in the exam room as a middle aged man with black hair drilled Leela with questions.
“Do you smoke cigarettes?”
“No,” Leela said.
“Do. You. Smoke. Cigarettes.”
“Well, I have before-“
“When? When did you last have one? One little cig? You know, one little one. I need to know, or I will not be your doctor.”
Fry looked at Leela as they walked out of the office. “Next one on the list?”
“Oh, hell yeah.”
“How long have you two been married?” the young doctor fresh out of med school asked Fry and Leela.
“We’re not married.” Fry said.
“Are you single?” he asked Leela smiling.
“She’s not single, she’s just not married.”
“Oh,” he said disappointingly.
No freaking way, Fry thought.
“How many doctors are in your practice?” Leela asked as she and Fry sat in the office of Dr. Howard. So far he had been the nicest doctor they had met with. He hadn’t drilled them with questions, told creepy or lame jokes or flirted with Leela. Or with Fry like one guy had.
“I just want to make sure that you are my doctor on the day.”
“We have three doctors in our practice,” he said. “But I’m your guy. I don’t take vacations, I hate Hawaii. I’ll be there with you on the day your baby is born.”
Leela smiled. “I feel really good about this. I think we’ve found our doctor, Fry.”
“Really?” he asked smiling. “That’s great. That’s awesome.”
“You look relieved.” Howard said.
“I am!” Fry said laughing. “I can’t imagine meeting any more doctors.”
“He’s exaggerating.” Leela said giving Fry a kick in the leg. “We haven’t met that many.”
Fry stood in the middle of Debbie and Pete’s apartment with Amy while Leela dressed across the hall. Leela had planned a day for her, Amy and Debbie to drag Fry along to shop for baby stuff and maternity clothes. Sure enough Leela was already starting to show and her clothes were getting very snug on her. Her mother’s warnings had proven true.
“Did you see this sex offender website?” Debbie asked Pete as he sat next to her in a chair. She pointed to all the red dots on a map on the screen. “These are all the sex offenders that live in our neighborhood.”
“It looks like your computer has chicken pox.” He laughed.
Debbie turned to him, her face stone cold. “These are sex offenders. These people live in our neighborhood.”
“Well, we’ll skip their houses Trick or Treating. What do you want me to do? Form a posse?” he turned to Fry. “Got your ray gun on you? I’ve got a lynching rope-I kick it old school.”
“You shouldn’t be taking this so lightly.” She said.
“I’m not. I mean, I’m not going to go over to these people’s houses and say: ‘Hey, can you baby sit?’”
“If I didn't care about these things, you wouldn't care about anything. You need to care more.”
“God, you’re so concerned with stuff. Like don’t get them vaccinated, don’t let them eat fish because there’s mercury in the water. How much Dateline can you watch?”
“I know we're supposed to be nice with each other right now, but I'm having a really hard time. I'm struggling with it right now.”
“What am I doing?”
“I want to rip your freaking head off because you’re so freaking stupid! This is scary. These are our children. You freaking dips**t.”
Fry looked over at Amy with a fearful look on his face.
“I’m literally at a point where I don’t know what I can say.” Pete said.
“So I'm the bad guy because I'm trying to protect our kids from child molesters and mercury? And you’re cool, because you don’t give a crap?”
“Yeah,” he smirked.
“Is that it?”
“God you’re a jackass.”
Pete lowered his eyes and whispered. “Don’t do this in front of Fry.”
“I don’t give a s**t about Fry.”
“Sorry Fry.” Pete said.
Fry nodded. “It’s okay. I didn’t think she did anyway.”
They all turned when the front door opened and Leela walked in. “Okay,” she said “let’s go.”
“What’s going on?” she asked when they all froze.
“Nothing.” They all said in unison.
Leela, Amy and Debbie walked a few feet ahead of Fry while he carried two bags in each hand, blisters forming on the bridge of them. He felt the muscles strain in his forearms and they reached the next store and Fry was finally allowed to drop the bags.
“You don’t want to know the sex of the baby?” Debbie asked. “That’s no fun!”
Leela laughed as she looked at a yellow onesie. “Fry knows, but I’ve sworn him to secrecy.”
“Oh, I’ll get it out of him.”
“No! Debbie, I don’t want to know. I want it to be a surprise.”
Fry stood by looking at a shelf of boxes that had a picture of a young couple with their new born. The man had the baby strapped to his chest in a carrier as he and his wife stared lovingly into each other’s eyes.
“Hey,” he said showing the box to Leela. “You think we’ll ever be as happy as Baby Bjorn couple here?”
“We are that happy.” She said taking his hand.
“Yeah?” he said putting the box down. “You sure look happy.”
“I am. These past few weeks have been great.”
“Guys,” Amy called out. “Come here.”
The two of them walked over to the crib display set up that Debbie and Amy were standing in front of.
“This is it.” Debbie said. “It’s perfect.”
“It’s really nice.” Leela said running her hand over the smooth wood painted yellow.
Fry nodded and picked up the price tag. “Whoa! It’s fourteen hundred bucks.”
“Oh,” Leela said pulling back. “Uh, Debbie, if we could borrow yours we’d be fine-“
“No!” she said. “You need your own crib.”
Fry looked at the crib and smiled. “You know, there’s one of these in the alley behind the Robot Arms. We could just grab that and rub Purell all over it.”
Amy spoke up. “Let me buy it for you! I need to get you a baby gift anyway.”
“No,” Leela said. “It’s too much.”
“Shh!” Fry said. “Yes, we’ll take it. I mean come on, Leela; she wants to buy us a gift. Don’t insult her. What else can a squeeze out of you, Amy? Wanna buy me some new shoes?” he laughed.
Though Leela felt like $1,400 was too much for a crib and felt a bit guilty about Amy buying about it, she felt excited about setting up a nursery for her new son or daughter. But then she realized something: Where would she set it up? Her apartment was one bedroom and she didn’t want a crib and changing table in the middle of her living room. Sure, she could find a new apartment, but where would she come up with the money? She was already going to be paying an arm and a leg for her doctor’s visits, not to mention the time she’d spend in the hospital when the baby was born. Although, if her and Fry were able to pool their money together they could find a decent apartment together. But was she ready for that? Yes, she had enjoyed the past eighteen weeks with him and she felt something for Fry she never had before, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to take the next step with him. Things were moving very fast between them and she was worried that moving in together might complicate things. As she watched Fry struggle to load the box with the crib she decided to put off moving until the baby came.
When Fry was loading the box and bags into the car she saw her old co-workers Ipgee, Terry and Lou walk towards them as they entered the mall.
“Leela,” Ipgee said. “How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. You remember my friend Fry, right?”
“Yes of course.” He said shaking Fry’s hand.
“How’s everything at Applied Cryogenics?” she asked.
“Very good.” He said, his eyes wandering towards the bags of baby stuff in the car. “Is your promiscuous friend having a baby?”
“No,” Fry said laughing. “Leela is.”
“What?” the three of them said in unison. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yeah,” Leela said giving a nervous chuckle. “It was a BIG surprise.”
“It’s actually a funny story,” Fry said. “If you guys got a second to hear it.”
“No, it’s not that funny.” Leela said.
“Let them be the judge, I think it’s funny. You know how they say don’t drink and drive? I say don’t drink and bone.”
Fry laughed while Leela covered her face with her hand not wanting to look them in the eye.
“Oh,” she heard Terry said. “Okay.”
Fry sat in a dark bar with Bender and Pete nursing his beer. After dropping off everything at Leela’s apartment he called the two of them and they met for drinks. He was feeling a little uneasy after their visit from Leela’s old co-workers at the store.
“I mean, she was acting weird like she was embarrassed of me, and I really think it's just 'cause, like, you know, I haven't made an honest woman out of her. She's carrying my bastard child. No one wants that.”
“That’s what I did; I mean when Debbie got pregnant I married her.” Pete said.
“You think she was trying to hide me?”
“Probably,” Bender said. “I’d hide you.”
“How much do wedding rings cost?” Fry asked ignoring Benders comment.
“I think you’re supposed to spend three months’ pay on an engagement ring.” Pete said.
“Great.” He said. “I barely make enough to pay rent and buy food.”
“I told you Fry,” Bender said. “Get into my business. Trust me; this website is going to be HUGE.”
“What type of website do you have?” Pete asked.
“Bender is making a robot porn site.”
“God, it’s not porn. I just show you what robo-nude scenes are in what movies.”
“Bender, I told you I don’t want to be involved in smut.”
“Fry, give me one example of how it’s smut.”
Leela was relaxing in bed reading a book when she heard a loud knocking at her door. Sighing she reluctantly swung her legs over the side and stood up. Passing the bags of baby and maternity clothes on the couch she looked through the peep hole in the door and saw Fry standing on the other side with a stupid grin on his face. What the hell? She thought.
“Fry, what’s going on?”
“Hey sexy!” he said slurring his words. “Wassup?”
“Oh Lord. Fry are you drunk?”
He paused and put a finger up to his lips. “You know, I think I am!”
Leela sighed and roller her eye. “Fry, come inside before Debbie sees you.”
“Alright.” He said before taking a step forward and falling flat on his face.
Fry opened his eyes slowly and found himself on the floor of Leela’s apartment. He replayed the events of the night before and cursed himself. Sitting up he noticed the pillow that had been under his head. Leela must have placed it there when he passed out. Wiping the drool of his chin he grabbed the arm on the couch to balance and lifted himself off the ground. His hair stuck out in different directions and he smelled of stale beer. Rolling his aching shoulders he saw Leela brewing a cup of coffee and smiled.
“Hey,” he said.
“Oh good, you’re awake. Are you sober?”
“Uh,” he said placing a hand to his throbbing head. “Yeah. Look, Leela, I’m sorry. What I did was stupid and irresponsible. I know that this isn’t the way I should be acting and I promise that I’ll act more responsible from now on.”
Leela softened and placed a hand on Fry’s arm. “Wow Fry. That was really big of you to own up to your mistake. “ she handed him a cup of coffee and kissed his cheek. “Wait, let me just smell it once more.”
Fry watched as she inhaled the scent of the ground beans and gave a content sigh.
“Okay,” he said trying to get the cup from her grip. “Leela, come on.”
“Wait, wait, wait.”
Fry sat in his chair as the Planet Express ship’s auto pilot took them to their destination for another delivery. Leela was back in her cabin relaxing and Bender was sitting on the couch drinking beer. Fry reached into his pocket and pulled out the small velvet box he had picked up the night before. Taking a deep breath he stood up. Before going into Leela’s cabin he went into his room, changed into a button down shirt and tucked it in before running a brush though his hair.
“Look, Leela,” he said kneeling in front of her as she sat on her bed. “I know that we didn’t plan this but that is why I’m presenting you with this empty box.” He opened the box to reveal that it was in fact empty but he continued. “It’s a promise Leela; it’s a promise that I will fill this box with a ring. I can’t afford it yet, but I’ve picked it out and it’s beautiful, it’s the ring you deserve. Basically I’m asking: will you marry me? Because I’m in love with you.”
Leela sat there stunned. This was the last thing she expected Fry to do. He had been great these past weeks, his love obviously was sincere, but she had to ask herself one questions: Did she love him? Her feeling had changed greatly since she found out she was pregnant but could she commit herself to him for the rest of her life? She finally just gave him a small smile.
“I love you too.” She said.
“Really?” he asked. “That’s, that’s so great Leela. I’ve been waiting for you to say that for so long.”
Leela took his hand. “But here’s the thing.”
His smile faded. “There’s a thing?”
“I-I don’t really know what that love means, just because it’s so new and so exciting.”
Fry just nodded. “Okay, I just, I thought you felt weird that we’re having a baby and we’re not engaged or anything-I’m gonna get off my knee it’s starting to hurt.”
“Yeah,” she said helping him up and setting him on the bed next to her looping her arm through his. “And I’m okay with that. We’re doing what we can and I don’t want to put any more pressure on ourselves that we already have. What we have is great.”
“Yeah, that makes perfect sense.”
“Are you okay? I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“No, no, no. It’s okay. I mean, I just wanted to do right by you.”
“I really do love you Fry.” She said after a moment. “Really, but I’m…just not ready to get married yet.”
“I get it, it’s okay, really. “
Leela kissed him and nuzzled herself against him.
“Fry proposed to me.” Leela said as she Amy and Debbie sat on the couch in her apartment watching TV and eating ice cream.
“What?” they both said.
“He did. It was so sweet. I felt really bad about saying no. He put on this nice button down shirt and tucked it in, then got down on one knee. He didn’t have an actual ring, it was an empty box. But he had this whole little speech about how he’s going to get me the ring I deserve, it was so sweet.”
“He didn’t have a ring?” Amy asked. “The box was just empty?”
“Well, he can’t afford a ring.”
“So he got down on one knee and gave you an empty box?” Debbie said.
Amy and Debbie looked at each other before laughing.
“I’m sorry,” Debbie said.
“Get over it.” Leela said. “It was very sweet. I bet if you two were there you would have cried.”
“You need to train him.” Debbie said.
“Oprah said that you point out your partners flaws and then they get so down on themselves that they're forced to change.”
“Really? You don't think that would just make it worse? That'd be, like, naggy.”
Amy spoke up. “No, I get what she’s saying. You do that and in the end they thank you for it.”
“Exactly.” Debbie said.
“Can you commit to Fry?” Amy asked.
“Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to force a relationship.” Debbie said. “Do you really know him? I mean, really know him?”
“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t know Pete after ten years.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I think he’s cheating on me.”
“What?” Leela said.
“He's always going off to these business meetings at odd hours. And then I try to call him on his cell phone, and he says that he's in bad cell phone reception areas when he's in good cell phone reception areas.”
“Maybe he’s working late.” Leela said. “He is an agent for a movie studio after all.”
“There's no part of you that thinks that maybe he's a dirty little scumbag?”
“Well I think he might be. Look,” she reached into her bag and pulled out Pete’s laptop she stole. “I bought this program called ‘Memory Spy’” she logged onto Pete’s laptop and a picture of Debbie, Sadie and Charlotte popped up as his background. “It locates history files, websites visited, hidden downloads, searches, email history. Memory Spy." She opened the program and launched it. “Let’s see you hide from me now little man.”
Leela, Fry, Debbie, Pete, Kif and Amy all sat around a table at Elzars for a Triple date so they could all get to know one another. Debbie asked Leela and Amy to watch Pete’s behavior so she could find out if he was really happy at home or if he was in fact cheating. The Memory Spy had found something about meeting at a certain address but she wanted to wait for the right moment to confront him about it.
“So,” Amy said. “Have you told the Professor that you’re pregnant?”
“No and I’m not going to. Hermes said he would take care of everything for me.”
“How can you not tell your boss?” Debbie asked.
“He’s not going to know. Even if we tell him he’ll just forget two seconds later.”
“That’s true,” Fry said taking a sip of the scotch Pete had ordered him. “He really won’t notice.”
“We can probably get away with telling him that the baby’s a sack of flour for a few months.” Leela said.
“Sounds like a good plan.” Amy said.
“It is a good plan,” Pete nodded. “Until your water breaks all over his slippers.”
“Oh my!” Fry said doing an imitation of the 160 year old man. “What’s this on my slippers?”
The six of them laughed and Pete laughed before speaking. “Isn’t it funny how when you have kids all your hopes and dreams going right out the window?”
Everyone looked at him funny except for Fry who tapped his nose as he took another drink.
“What changed for you?” Debbie asked. “What dreams? What plans? You do everything the same.”
“No, I mean I love what I’m doing, but, like, let’s say you want to go live on Saturn for a year. You can do it. But you can’t once you have a family.”
“Is that what you want? Do you want to go live on Saturn?”
“I don’t want to go live on Saturn.”
“Do you want to go live on Saturn? Seriously, go to Saturn.”
“Do you want to live on Saturn?”
“I’m not going to Saturn, you can go to Saturn-“
“I get what he’s saying.” Fry said stopping them before things got worse. “Like, honestly when I first found out about-“ he pointed to Leela. “I just had this flash of me in my own little personal ship and I am just hauling ass for a different galaxy. And I bust through the border and I’m a free man.”
“Wait, what?” Leela asked turning towards him.
“What? We can talk about our fears here, right? I mean, if Doc Brown pulled up next to you and said ‘Hey, Leela. I’ve got the car here, what do you want to do?’” he said imitating the science fiction doctor. “No part of you would be like ‘You know maybe we should go back to that night and put a condom on Fry.’ You-you didn’t get that flash?”
“No. And I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Where we’re going,” Pete said, “We don’t need roads.”
“Exactly!” Fry said. “Awesome!”
“I don’t know what you’re saying.” Leela said. “Who’s Doc Brown?”
“Doc Brown is Christopher Lloyd; he invented the DeLorean, the time machine.”
“It’s the time machine flash.” Pete said. “Everyone gets that.”
“Hey,” Debbie said. “I’ve got a great idea. Why don’t the two of you get in your time machine…”
Fry and Pete gave each other smirks.
“Go back in time,” she continued. “And f**k each other!”
Kif, Amy and Leela all stared as Fry and Pete struggled not to laugh.
“Who needs a time machine?” Pete asked.
“This is my time machine.” Fry said holding up his glass.
“I’m gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.”
“Vroom!” Fry said taking a drink. “You are a funny guy, man. Jeeze, how can you fight with him? I mean look at him! Look at his face I just want to kiss it!”
“I like the way you move.”
Fry threw back the rest of his drink and slammed the glass on the table. “This is fun! We should do this more, I think. This is like, the most fun I’ve had in a while.”
Later that night Bender sat on the couch glaring at the TV as he heard Fry and Leela in the bedroom. At first he heard them shooting DNA at each other, but then they started arguing. Humans, he thought opening a beer and turning up the volume on the TV.
“Look, I’m sorry.” Fry said as he hovered above Leela, “But I’m going to poke the baby, I know it.”
“Oh come on!” Leela said in an aggravated tone, “Just do it already!”
“Please don’t yell at me.” Fry said.
“What’s the problem? The doctor and Debbie both said its fine.”
“Look, can we…can we change positions?”
“I’m going to crush the baby, I know it.”
“This is ridiculous! Why are we-“
“There’s no shell in there, you know?”
“Fry, millions of people have sex when they're pregnant! I don't know how it works. It just works, okay? Just do it.”
“I’m just-I weigh over 200 pounds.”
“Get over it!”
“Can you just get on top, please? I’m afraid I’m going to poke the baby with my wing-wang.”
“Trust me, you’re not even close.” Leela let out an annoyed sigh and started to sit up. “Okay, fine, come on.”
“I can’t, I can’t.” Leela said after a few moments. “I can’t do this. I can't focus like this. I look disgusting from this angle. I can feel you looking up at my double chin.”
“No, you look beautiful. Your chin looks so skinny.”
“Everything is flopping around, I can feel it, and it's distracting. It's all National Geographic.”
“Okay, uhm…” Fry thought for a second. “You, you wanna do Doggie style?”
“No! We’re not doing this like dogs.”
“It’s not like a dog. It’s just-we don’t have to go outside or anything.”
After switching positions again Leela finally thought they were back on track until Fry freaked out for no reason. He pulled away and nearly fell off the bed.
“Oh crap!” he yelled.
“What?” she asked slapping the pillow.
“The baby just kicked my hand!” he said in a worried voice.
“No, its fine it kicks all the time!”
“No, this was bad.”
“No, no, no, no, it’s fine!” she said slapping the pillow again. “It’s fine! It’s fine!”
“This was like a warning kick, telling me it didn’t like it.”
“What are you talking about?!”
“Having the baby between us is just weird. I’m sorry, I just-I can’t do it.”
“I’ve totally lost it.” Leela said.
“You’ve totally lost it?”
“Yes. Just, you know, just forget it.” She said pulling the blanket around her.
“Okay,” Fry said disappointed.
“Don’t worry; I won’t make you do this again.” Leela said.
“Great,” he said sarcastically.
Fry and Bender sat on the couch well after midnight drinking beer and smoking cigars while Leela was fast asleep.
“You know what?” Fry said. “I think we should dip into some of that stash you’ve been hiding for Hermes. I mean, we’re taking a big risk here hiding this stuff.”
“You’re right, we deserve it.” Bender said reaching into his chest cabinet and pulling out a fairly large bag of a certain green plant. Fry went into the kitchen and found the “device that lets you speed or slow the passage of time” that was once in the van he owned.
A few minutes later he and Bender sat on the couch lighting up when suddenly the entire building started shaking.
“What the hell’s going on?” Bender asked.
“I-I think we’re having an earthquake!”
The two of them picked up their stuff and raced out of the apartment, leaving Leela in the bedroom.
“Fry!” she called out, trying to balance herself as the room shook violently. “Fry!”
She stepped out into the hall and heard all kinds of commotion. Damnit Fry, she thought as she hung on to the door frame. The shaking stopped and she made her way downstairs where Fry and Bender stood on the sidewalk.
“Where were you?” she asked Fry who was clutching his bong.
“I forgot you were sleeping over, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, probably because you were getting high off that stupid bong. How am I supposed to trust you to take care of me and the baby if you are getting high and drunk all the time?”
“What, you want me to stop drinking and smoking pot just because there’s a fault under the city and there’s an earthquake in New York every million years? That makes no sense Leela! Look, we’re all scared right now, so I think we just need to-“ he was cut off by the sound of sirens and flashing lights. “Oh crap, the cops!” he said throwing the bong into the bushes and hearing it shatter. Smitty and URL drove by and he shrugged. “Crazy city, huh?”
After the commotion outside settled down the three of them made their way back upstairs and into the apartment. Fry entered the bedroom first and saw all his stuff all over the floor. Sighing he knelt down and began picking stuff up. Though she was tired, Leela knelt down on the other side of the room and started to help him, figuring it would go faster.
“You know,” she heard him say. “Its times like this I’m glad I don’t own nice things. I mean, yeah this is a big mess, but there’s only like fifty dollars’ worth of stuff here.”
Leela began piling magazines on the desk and then noticed the baby books scattered on the floor. She opened one and heard the spine crack. Then she tried the next one and got the same result. Rolling her eye she slammed them down on the desk. He never even opened them, she thought shaking her head.
A few weeks after the widely publicized earthquake Fry sat on his couch in the Robot Arms watching continuing coverage as parts of the city were being rebuilt. His cell phone began to ring on the table and he reached for it.
“Hey,” Leela said.
“You! What’s up?”
“Debbie wants us to come over for dinner tonight.”
“She thinks Pete is cheating on her.”
“She saw one of his emails-“
“There’s an address.”
“That-that sounds terrible. I don’t want to do that.”
“He’s not cheating, I can tell you that much.”
“How can you tell?”
“I just can. I’m 100% sure he’s not cheating.”
He paused. “No. Actually it would make sense that he would.”
“Because Debbie is a pain in the ass and Pete’s awesome?”
“Look, why don't you just come over then, and we'll just diffuse the situation a little.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll come over.”
“Good. And wear something nice.”
“Okay. Love you.” She said before hanging up.
Fry stared at his phone and smiled. He couldn’t believe how his relationship with Leela was continuing to grow. He honestly thought that by this point he might have screwed it up, but they were a strong couple and he didn’t think anything could break them. They were happy, they were getting along great and they were having a child together. Fry knew that this was only the beginning. They could end up happily married, unlike Debbie and Pete. Though he didn’t think Pete was cheating, it was obvious there were some problems between them and he wondered why that was. Was it because they were in the same kind of situation as he and Leela when they were younger and forced a relationship? Fry shook his head and forced the thoughts away. He told himself it didn’t matter and that he and Leela were happy.
Fry and Leela sat at the dining room table in Debbie and Pete’s apartment after dinner as Fry sipped a cup of coffee while Leela had tea, something she realized she could substitute coffee with. For the time being at least. They were talking and laughing and Pete finally looked at his watch.
“Oh, I’ve got to get going.” He said. “I’ve got a casting call.”
Pete stood up and went over to the other end of the table and kissed his wife. “I’ll call you because the reception at the studio is terrible. I’m going to grab a shower and change before heading out.”
“Okay,” Debbie said as he walked away. “Have fun.”
When the bedroom door closed Debbie looked at Leela narrowing her eyes.
“I don’t know what you two are talking about.” Fry said. “He’s acting totally normal and hilarious.”
They sat there in silence for the longest twenty minutes of Fry’s life before Debbie stood up. Pete had left about ten minutes earlier and she wanted to follow him. So she led the two of them downstairs and they all got in her black SUV before driving to the address that was on Pete’s email.
After a twenty minute drive into a suburban area right outside the city they pulled up to a large house where Pete’s silver car was parked in the driveway. The house was dark except for the lone porch light the burned brightly.
“Come on,” Debbie said getting out of the car.
Leela began opening the passenger door as Fry spoke up from the back seat. “She doesn’t have a gun, does she?”
“No,” she said before pausing. “I don’t think so.”
The two of them got out of the car and began following Debbie who was already at the door. She opened the door and the three of them quietly walked inside the darkened house. All was silent and Fry looked at the two of them.
“It doesn’t look like anyone’s home.”
“Then why was the door unlocked?” Debbie asked. “I’m going to check upstairs.”
“You know,” Fry whispered to Leela, “I kind of feel bad for Pete.”
“Well, if you’re going to get caught cheating it shouldn’t be like this.”
“Maybe he should have thought about that before he was cheating.”
“Pete!” he said muffling it with a cough.
Leela punched him in the arm. “Stop it.”
“I coughed. What do you want?”
They watched as Debbie descended the stairs. “No one’s here. I guess I was wrong.”
“Can we go now?” Fry said looking around. “I’m worried we’re gonna get caught.”
“Fine, lets-“ Debbie stopped mid-sentence when she heard Pete’s voice come from down the hall. “What the hell?”
The three of them followed the noise and opened the door to the houses den and saw Pete sitting in a chair in a circle with a bunch of his friends, a tablet in his hands and his fingers hovering above it.
“Come on Pete,” a man with a stop watch said. “You’re on the clock.”
“Oh, crap!” he stuttered and stared at his screen.
“What is this?” Debbie asked causing everyone in the room to look up.
“Debbie.” Pete said surprised.
“What the hell is going on?”
“It’s our fantasy blurnsball draft.”
The man next to Pete sighed. “We said no wives.”
“What are you talking about?” Debbie demanded.
“I told you all about this.”
Debbie rolled her eyes and stormed out and Pete shot up out of his seat running past Fry and Leela following her outside.
“Hey Pete!” the one man called out holding up two blurnsballs. “Don’t forget your balls.”
Fry and Leela followed the two of them outside and stood by Debbie’s SUV as she and Pete argued by his car.
“I should have told you.” They heard Pete say.
“What else have you been lying about?”
Fry looked over at Leela and laughed. “That guy said ‘Don’t forget your balls.’”
“Yeah, I heard.” Leela said un-amused.
“It's just that I know you've been mad,” Pete said. “Because I've been working so much, and I didn't want to upset you.”
“I wouldn’t get mad! I don’t get mad!”
“Look, I’m not cheating or anything-“
“No this is worse.”
“How is this worse?”
“This is you wanting to be with your friends more than your family.”
“I made all that stuff up because I knew you would get mad. So you think I’m doing a casting call, I do my blurnsball draft and it’s win-win.”
“You just think because you don't yell that you're not mean, but this is mean.”
“I’m not being mean-“
“Yes you are! You’re lying.”
“I need some times to myself. I mean, you want me around all the time.”
Debbie wiped her eyes and sighed. “You know what? Fine. I don’t want you at the apartment anymore.”
“Oh, come on.” Pete said as she walked away. “Debbie!”
“Oh crap!” Fry said. “She’s coming back!”
Fry and Leela sat in the back of a cab a few days later on their way to the doctors for another checkup and ultrasound.
“Debbie is still really upset about what happened,” She said. “Pete’s still not living there and the kids don’t know what’s going on. She’s telling them that he’s out of town on business. I just can’t stop thinking about what a jackass he is.”
Fry shrugged his shoulders. “That’s a little harsh, I’d say.”
“Really? Because that had to be one of the most selfish things I’ve ever seen.”
“It's understandable; I even think it's kind of funny.”
“How is that funny?”
“Well, I know that you probably won’t laugh now, but the situation: us breaking into a stranger’s house at night expecting to find him cheating and instead find a bunch of guys playing fantasy blurnsball. I mean, if you saw that on TV you’d laugh.”
“Is that what you want to do Fry?” she asked glaring at him.
“Leela, I still don’t understand the rules of blurnsball!” he laughed. “Look, all I’m saying is that when you have that responsibility with a family, you lose that male camaraderie. I get that.”
“Why do guys always go there? ‘I miss male camaraderie’” she mocked. “Why do I give a crap? Go hang out with your tin can friend. You want to hang out with a robot who gets arrested on a weekly basis, that’s all on you.”
“Well,” Fry said shaking his head. “What the hell am I supposed to say to that?”
“You should just support me! You know, you should just support everything I say because at this stage in my life, I'm allowed to be wrong!”
“So I have to support you even if you’re wrong?” he asked.
“So I can’t tell you you’re acting like a lunatic?”
“Oh, that’s helpful!” Leela shouted not caring that the cab driver was looking at them in the mirror. “You have to do nothing!”
“I’ve sacrificed a lot to do this Leela!”
“You haven’t sacrificed anything! I’ve had to sacrifice everything: my job, my body, and my youth. Not to mention that a certain part of my body will never look the same after this.”
“Well, I’m sorry.” He said. “I’ll pay for reconstructive surgery.”
“You can’t pay for anything. You can barely buy spaghetti.”
“You’re right! Fine! Jeeze,”
“Can you pull over?” she asked the driver and when he stopped she looked at Fry. “You know what, get out of the car.”
“Okay, how about you don’t threaten me?”
“Fry, just get out of the freaking car.”
“No, I’m not getting out of the cab.”
“I’m paying for this cab. Get out of the car.”
“Get out of the car.”
“Get out of the f**king car!”
Fry’s eyes widened and he finally nodded. “Fine.”
Opening the door he stepped out as Leela exhaled sharply. Looking inside he wrapped his knuckles on the window. “Can I please get back in the car? Have you calmed down?” he opened the door and Leela glared at him. “I have no idea where we are!” When she didn’t answer he slammed the door shut. “Fine. Just go. Go!”
The cab pulled away and Fry sighed. “Great.”
Leela stood on the scale in the doctor’s office and her eye went wide when the number came up. “Maybe I should take my boots off.” She told the nurse. “Or my belt buckle, it’s huge.”
“It’s okay,” the nurse said as a tired and sweaty Fry walked in the door. “Your baby wants you to gain a whole mess of weight.”
“Are you freaking kidding me?”
“You should take off your earrings too.” Fry said causing Leela to turn around. “They weigh like what, 80 pounds each?”
“Do not make fun of me!” Leela said pointing a finger at him. “I am hormonal, I am terrified and I am falling apart so stop treating everything like it’s a big joke.”
“Look, I’m sorry you’re freaking out, but I just walked three miles through Little Neptune to get here! Sorry if I’m trying to lighten the mood a little!”
“Well don’t! Okay? You can’t take anything seriously, Fry! You, you didn’t even read the baby books!”
“I didn’t read the baby books!” Fry said with a sarcastic worrisome tone. “What’s going to happen? How did anyone EVER give birth without a baby book? Oh wait, the Egyptians engraved: What to expect when you’re Expecting on the pyramid walls! I guess I forgot about that!”
The nurses all began slowly backing away and went out into the hall as Fry and Leela continued their screaming match.
“It just shows your lack of commitment Fry! Okay?! It shows that you are not in this with me!”
“I’m sorry,” he said walking up to her. “Did you just say my ‘Lack of commitment’? Because, if you remember, I proposed to you, like an idiot! And you said NO to me.”
“If you feel that way, you should just go.” Leela said her voice breaking and tears streaming down her cheeks. ”Really. Just go. Because we didn't mean to do this together, okay? And we tried to make it work and that was good, but it doesn't work. Because we are two completely different people and I think we should just stop fooling ourselves because we’re only going to make this worse and make things hard for the baby.”
“Okay, I know this isn’t you talking,” Fry said surprisingly calm. “It’s your hormones, but I would just like to say: “ he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “SCREW YOU HORMONES! YOU’RE A CRAZY BITCH-HORMONES! Not Leela! Hormones! Screw them!”
Leela just stared at Fry, jaw dropped and eye wide. She couldn’t believe the way Fry was talking to her.
“It’s a boy!” Fry said. “Buy some blue crap!”
“Nice,” She said. “Thanks for ruining it Fry! You are such a jackass! You know what? Go screw your freaking bong you ass!”
“I will get freaky with my bong.” He threw back. “Doggie style, for once.”
He turned around and Leela clutched her fist restraining herself from going up to him and knocking him upside the head. She watched as he opened the door and his arm went up in the air as he gave her the finger walking out of the office.
“Are you ready?” one of the frightened nurses asked Leela.
“Oh,” she said taking a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m really sorry about all that. That was very innapropriate.”
“No, it’s fine. Stuff like that happens all the time here.”
“Oh, okay, now I don’t feel so stupid.”
“No, no, not at all.”
Fry, Bender and Pete all sat in the bar again as Fry had skipped the beer and gone straight to hard liquor as he explained to his friends what had happened at the doctors.
“Sorry buddy.” Bender said patting his shoulder.
“I just, I did my best, I tried to do the right thing but it all just fell apart. I mean, if I made a list of stuff Leela wouldn’t let me do, it would be never ending. Have I asked her to stop doing anything, ever? No!”
“Marriage is like that show from your century: Everybody Loves Raymond.” Pete said. “But it’s not funny. All the problems are the same, but instead everyone is pissed off and tense. Marriage is an unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond. But it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It last forever.”
Fry shook his head and finished his shot. “Let’s get out of here you guys. Let’s go to Mars Vegas.”
“Let’s do it.” Pete said. “Yeah. Why not?”
“You in Bender?” Fry asked.
“Booze, gambling, hookers. Of course I’m in you idiot!”
Leela laid on her couch watching a sappy romance movie and stuffing her face with ice cream. At this point she didn’t care how much weight she gained. What man would want to date a one eyed single mother anyway? It would just be her and her son from now on. My son, she thought welling up with tears. Though she was still extremely pissed at Fry for telling her she did realize it was a lot easier now. Names had already started going through her mind and she had bought a few items for him. But no matter what she knew she was in this alone. Yes, her parents said they would help, Debbie and Amy said they would help, but when it came down to it that didn’t matter when she didn’t have anyone who truly loved her on the nights when she felt like she was falling apart and everything came crashing down on her at once.
Hearing a knock at her door she struggled to stand up and finally got to her feet, which she could no longer see because of her stomach. Opening the door she saw Debbie on the other side.
“We’re not doing this.” She said.
“What are you talking about?”
“We have to go do something and have fun!”
“I’m just so tired,” Leela sighed.
“I know, but we’re going to be un-tired! We are going to go live!”
“Debbie I hate you so much sometimes.”
“We’re going to be positive!” Debbie continued. “Positive, positive, positive! Lets go!”
“How many Red Bulls have you had?”
“I’ve had about three Red Bulls in the last 15 minutes.”
“And your heart hasn’t exploded out of your chest?”
“No! And I feel fabulous!” Debbie made her way inside. “Come on, we are going to create a new life and it’s going to be awesome! Now let’s find you something to wear.”
“Wait, where are we going?”
“This is going to be awesome!” Fry said as their ship landed in the space port on Mars. He, Pete and Bender were all decked out in their best bachelor clothes: dark blue jeans, collard shirts and blazers. Fry noticed all the girls looking at him as he walked through the terminal and he smirked at Pete.
“Guess we’re looking good.” He said.
“Yeah,” Pete said as more girls waved at them.
“We make a good team man.” Fry said.
“Yeah. This is awesome. I mean, I can’t come here with Debbie, she wouldn’t understand. She wants to hold me in. Did you know that she told Leela she could train you?”
“What? She thinks she could train me? She can’t train this! I’m like a tiger. You think I’m trained and I’ll” he snarled and clawed at the air. “I’ll bite your freaking face off.”
Bender looked over his shoulder and sighed. “Will you meat bags hurry up?”
“Yeah,” Pete said looking at his watch. “We’ve got to get going. I’ve got tickets to Cirque du Soleil.”
“You do?” Fry asked. “No you don’t.”
“I swear to God man.”
“That’s great.” Bender said. “I still have some of that stash from Hermes.”
“Well let’s go guys!” Fry said putting his arms around his friend’s shoulders. “Vegas baby!”
Leela and Debbie walked down the street in cocktail dresses towards the club Debbie sometimes went to with her younger sister and friends. The bouncer was standing at the door with a clipboard and his hand on the rope.
“Hi,” Debbie said sweetly.
“What’s up? End of the line, please.”
“Yeah. We’re at capacity okay? We’ll let some people in when it clears out.”
“Oh come on, it doesn’t look that crowded.”
“Hey, I don’t make the rules.”
A group of skinny blond girls walked up and the bouncer smiled unclipping the rope. “What’s up pretty girls? See y’all when y’all get out.”
“What was that?” Debbie asked. “What the hell was that?”
“It is what it is sweetie.”
“You don’t need to call me sweetie.”
“Debbie,” Leela said, “Maybe we should just go.”
“No, you don’t need to call me sweetie.” She said ignoring Leela.
“Hey,” he said, “If you want to get in you’ll have to go to the end of the line.”
“I’m not going to the end of the freaking line. Who the hell are you?” she raised her voice. “I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these skanky girls! What am I not skanky enough for you?!”
Leela covered her eye and sighed wishing she was back in her apartment.
“I’m not going anywhere! You’re just some freak with a clipboard! You may have power but you are not God! You’re a doorman! Okay? You’re a doorman, doorman. Doorman. DOORMAN!”
The bouncer gently took Debbie’s arm and motioned for Leela to follow. He pulled them both to the side and spoke in a low voice.
“I know. I’m so sorry. I hate this job so much. It makes me sick having to pass judgment. Look, it’s not ‘cause you’re not hot. Okay? I would love to hit that. I can’t let you in because you’re old.”
“What?” Debbie asked.
“You old. She pregnant. Can’t have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. This clipboard doesn’t even have names on it. It’s just the types of people I can let in.”
“No I feel bad.” Debbie said. “I’m sorry.”
“Why y’all want to be here anyway? Why don’t you go to yoga class or something? And what is she doing here?” he said pointing at Leela. “That’s not good parenting. Your old ass should know better than that.”
“Oh God.” Debbie moaned before being led away by Leela.
“Has the stuff kicked in yet?” Fry asked as he walked along the street with Pete and Bender. They all looked at each other and started chuckling.
“I guess so,” Pete said. “Oh, we’re here.” He said pointing at the Cirque Du Solei sign. Taking their seats Fry kept blinking his eyes to make sure no one could see how red they were and finally the lights dimmed. They all watched the acrobats, which was even more trippy than usual.
“This was a great idea, man.” Fry said laughing.
“This is the best idea we’ve ever had.” Pete responded.
The show continued and Fry began to feel the negative side of the drugs and the acts were becoming too intense for him.
“I’m freaking out right now man!” He said cowering in his seat. “The oregano is turning on me! I’ve got to get out of here!” He stood up and tripped over Bender’s feet before running out.
“Fry wait!” Pete said. “Bender, come on!”
They found Fry outside huddled in a ball shaking and dragged him back to the hotel.
“It’s over.” Debbie said as she and Leela sat on a bench down the street from the club.
“Don’t say that.”
“But it’s true!” she sniffled. “I just want to dance! I love to dance.”
“I can’t dance, I’m embarrassed!”
“Oh come on. I should be embarrassed. I’m a whale and trying to get into some stupid club.”
“No,” Debbie said. “You look beautiful and you’re young and tall and you’ve got good lips and legs and you’re young still! I’m going to be alone!”
“Debbie, no you’re not!”
“Yes I am. Oh God! Freaking men! I get worse-looking and he gets better looking and it’s so unfair!” she took a deep breath. “We should go. The baby sitter always gets mad when we come home past midnight. She’s such a pissy little high school bitch.”
Fry sat on his bed in the hotel room watching the 31st century remake of Cheaper by The Dozen. He stared at the screen as the frantic father struggled to get through a morning.
“This isn’t funny.” He thought out loud. “Guy with 12 kids? That’s not funny, that’s-that’s sick. This is a sick movie. That’s a lot of responsibility, they shouldn’t joke about that.”
Picking up the remote he noticed Pete brining chairs into the room. The drugs had finally gotten to him. Bender sat in the corner with a video camera.
“I’ve got to turn this off.” Fry said. “It’s freaking me out.”
“There are five different types of chairs in this hotel room.”
“What are they all doing in here?” Fry asked.
“These are five different types of chairs.”
“Get them out of here! This is too many chairs for one room.”
“There's a guy that works for this hotel, his whole job is to find chairs. Look at this one. Look at it. It's gold and red, and it's kind of shiny. Shiny thread? Unbelievable. And it feels amazing.”
“The tall one's gawking at me and the short one's being very droll.”
“Oh wow!” Pete said sitting in the tall chair with the shiny thread. “I’m up high!”
“I should have read the baby books.” Fry muttered.
Pete looked up. “Why didn’t you read the baby books?”
“Because then it’s real.”
“Dude, it’s real no matter what. That baby’s coming.”
Bender sighed and shut off his camera. “If you two aren’t going to do anything funny stoned, I’m leaving.”
“Do you think they’ll take us back?” Fry asked once he was gone.
“Yes. But I don’t know why. Do you ever wonder how someone can like you?”
“Yeah! All the time.”
“How can Debbie like me? She loves me! The biggest problem we have is that she wants me around all the time. That’s our biggest problem.”
“What?” Fry asked. “You can’t believe that people love you? I love you man. Debbie loves you!”
“I don’t know if I can accept her love. There’s something wrong with me!”
“You can’t accept love?! The most beautiful thing in the world!”
“I don’t know what it is!” Pete said in a squeaky voice.
“You can’t accept pure love? You can’t accept Debbie?”
“I have to go to this other chair.” He said moving to a plush grey one. “Oh this is a better energy.”
“Debbie has chosen to give you her life!” Fry said. “But you can’t accept her love? I could! And Debbie’s awesome man! She’s cool and funny and nice.”
Pete groaned and put his fist in his mouth as Fry continued.
“She’s too good for you man.”
Pete took his fist out of his mouth. “Taste like a rainbow.”
“You’re disgusting.” Fry said causing Pete to put his fist back in his mouth. “You’re an urchin! And Debbie busts your balls because you’re a little bitch! I mean, she wants to give her life to you and Leela doesn’t want to do that with me and it makes me sad all the time.” He paused and took a shaky breath wiping the tears from his eyes. “I wanna go home.”
“I wanna go home too.” Pete said in a muffled voice.
Fry walked up the stairs behind Pete back in New New York. Pete was going to try to make amends with his wife and Fry was going to apologize to Leela. He watched as Debbie greeted Pete with open arms, obviously happy to have him home. It gave him a surge of hope as he knocked on Leela’s door.
“Hi.” He said when she answered. “Can we talk?”
After he apologized Fry expected to be invited inside to talk more with Leela but instead she continued to block the doorway.
“I just, I don’t think we can make this work.”
“We can get back on track and everything will be great.”
“Fry, I don’t want this baby to determine the rest of our lives. Me not wanting to do this alone isn’t a good reason to force you into a relationship. It’s not fair to you. And-don’t repeat this-but I don’t want to end up like Debbie.”
“What are you talking about?” he said pointing over his shoulder. “Debbie’s happy.”
“Yeah, today she’s happy. But her and Pete struggle every day and they have to force it because they’re not right for each other I don’t want us to force it and I don’t want to force you to change. Because you’re great. You really are, Fry. I mean, you like to drink and get high. Who am I to tell you that’s wrong?” she asked. “It’s who you are.”
Fry put up his hands. “I’m not that guy anymore.”
“Fry, we can still be friends and you can be there for the baby as much as you want. I hope you will be. But I’m sorry, I-I just can’t do this.” She said starting to tear up.
“Wait, Leela listen to me. You know when you talk to older couples who have been in love for forty or fifty or sixty years, okay? It’s always the guy who says ‘I knew.’” He paused and just shook his head. “I knew! Right from the start. I knew.”
“Fry,” she said shaking her head no.
“I’m that guy. Leela, I’m that guy. I know!”
“I-I can’t change Fry.” She said crying. “I don’t know how. I don’t have your kind of open heart…I’m sorry.” She said shutting the door leaving Fry in the hall.
Fry felt his eyes burn with tears and was about to turn around when he heard the apartment door behind him open.
“How’d it go?” Pete asked.
“She rejected me.” He said staring at the door.
“What? I thought she’d take you back!”
Fry walked up and got right into Pete’s face. “You know why she rejected me? Because you’re such a crappy husband, she thinks I’m going to be a crappy husband!”
Turning away Fry stormed off leaving a stunned Pete in the hall to think about his words.
“You screwed me Hermes!” Fry said standing at the door of Planet Express’s Rastafarian accountant. “You said that everything would be fine and nothing is fine!”
“Hold on Fry, just calm down.” He said putting his hands up. “Come in and we’ll talk about it.”
The two of them sat down and Hermes asked “Now what’s going on?”
“Leela broke up with me. We got into a huge fight and now she won’t take me back even after I apologized and told her I love her. You said that if I did the right thing everything would work out, but it hasn’t! I proposed to her and she said no, but things were still okay. Now everything is falling apart. She’s so worried we’re going to end up like her neighbors that she won’t give me another chance.”
“Fry, you can go around blaming everyone else, but in the end, nothing is going to work until you take responsibility for yourself.”
“I don’t know how to take responsibility for myself! I didn’t read the baby books. I just tried to party with Bender less. I’m an idiot! What-tell me what I should do!”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Just, just tell me what to do.”
“You’re moving out?” Bender said as Fry packed up all his belonging in boxes. “Why?”
“I’m sorry buddy, but I’ve got to do this. If I want to get Leela back I have to take responsibility for myself. I’m moving out. I found a small two bedroom apartment and I’ve gotten some baby stuff so I can make the one room a nursery. I want to show Leela that I can do this.”
“But, I thought we were friends.”
“Bender, we are. We’re best friends. And we can hang out still and you can come see the baby. Just, please…I can’t lose her Bender. I can’t.”
Bender sighed and picked up the pile of baby books and placed them in a box. “Let me help you.”
Leela sat on her couch late one night a week later watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn at her side. Suddenly a pain went through her body and she held her stomach.
“Oh God,” she said. “Ow, ow, ow, ow!”
She slowly brought herself to her feet and got out her stop watch. Here we go, she though.
At the same time Fry was sitting on his couch in his new apartment reading the last of the four baby books he bought months earlier. The room was silent and he kind of liked it for a change. Usually Bender was making so much more that even if he attempted to read the books he wouldn’t be able to.
The phone rang next to him and he reached over never taking his eyes off the page. “Hello?”
“Hey buddy,” Bender said. “What’s up?”
“Just, drinking some beers, watching TV. Rocking it.”
“Cool. I’m going to the Hip Joint, wanna come?”
“Uh, no thanks. I think I’m gonna call it a day soon.”
“What? It’s 8:30.”
“Yeah. I’m just tired.”
“Are you depressed?”
“No, I’m feeling great.”
“Are you going to kill yourself?”
“No, I’m not. Thanks for the concern.”
Leela stood in her bedroom packing her overnight bag, wishing she did it before she was going into labor. She had another contraction and shut her eye tight. When it finally passed she picked up her phone and called the doctors.
“Hello Doctor Howard?”
“Uh, no.” the man on the other line said. “I am Dr. Angelo. How can I help you?”
“I’m a patient of Dr. Howard and I’m going into labor. I need to speak with him.”
“I actually don’t know where he is tonight, but I’m available to his patients.”
“No, no, no, no, no. I want to speak to him.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, I’ve been given instructions not to give out his number.”
“No, I don’t want you to help me because I have no idea who you are! I want my own damn doctor and you make sure he calls me!” she said hanging up. “Oh s**t.” she whispered.
Across town Fry laid in bed half asleep when his cellphone rang bolting him awake. He reached blindly with it and finally felt the plastic hit his fingertips. “Hello?” he said into it.
“Fry, it’s me. Can you come? Because the baby’s coming!” Leela said frantically into her phone.
Fry sat up in bed and smiled. “Oh God, Leela. I’m so happy you called. I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but you haven’t been at work and-“
“No, listen! I need you to help me because the baby’s coming!”
“Wait, the baby’s coming right now?”
“Yes, right now. I-wait! Wait, wait, wait.” She said as she had another contraction.
“Is it happening? It’s happing right now? Uh, push! Push! Breath like this-“ he began doing the Lamaze breathing into the phone.
“No, no, no. You need to come because the contractions are happening and they really hurt and I can’t get hold of Dr. Howard and, and he said he was going to be here, right? You heard him say that!”
Fry jumped out of bed and began pulling his clothes on as Leela cried into the phone. “Okay, okay, I’m coming. Do you want me to meet you at the hospital?”
“No, I can’t get there by myself. I need you to come get me.”
“Okay, I’ll stop at an ATM and then I’ll come.”
“An ATM? No! Just come right now.”
“I need to get money because my wallet’s empty and I won’t be able to pay the cabbie.”
“No, just come right now, I am not screwing around! Okay? This is serious! And I’m alone; Pete and Debbie are out of town, so just get here!”
“Look if you keep yelling at me, I’ll never get there. You just need to calm down and-“
“Fry get over here right now!”
Fry leaped out of the cab and called back to the driver, “Keep the meter running I’ll be right back!”
Running upstairs he opened the door to Leela’s and walked inside. “Hello? Leela? Where are you?”
He saw the bathroom door cracked and found Leela in the tub.
“Fry?” she asked.
“Leela. What is this, a water birth? What are we doing?”
“Shh.” Leela said. “Just relax, okay?”
“Okay,” he said sitting on the edge of the tub. “Alright. What should I do?”
“Call Dr. Howard.”
Fry took out his cellphone and walked into the living room and heard the other line ringing. A woman finally answered.
“Yeah, hi. This is Phil Fry calling for Trunga Leela. We need Dr. Howard, because she is in labor.
“Dr. Howard is at a bar mitzvah on Druidia.”
“When does he get back?”
“In four days.”
Fry paused and frowned. “Do you have his cell phone number?”
Dialing his number Dr. Howards phone went right to voice mail and Fry decided to leave him a message.
“Hey Doc Howard. Phil Fry calling. Guess what the hell’s up? Leela’s in labor and you are not here! And that’s unfortunate for you because now, I’ll have to kill you. Yeah. I’m going to have to put a cap in your ass. You are dead! You’re Tupac! You piece of s**t! I hope you drop that freaking chair and kill that freaking kid! Peace out jackass!”
“Hey,” Fry said going back into the bathroom.
“Did you talk to him?”
“No, but I left him a very nice message. And, this is a little bump, but Dr. Howard will not be able to be here tonight.”
“Oh no.” Leela said. “What are we going to do?”
“We’ll get in the cab, go to the hospital and call every doctor we’ve met with and someone will be there. Okay? I mean, we still have time, right? How far apart are your contractions?”
“I think seven minutes.”
“Seven! Okay, that’s fine. Not until four minutes is it coming. And has your water broken yet?”
“I don’t know, I’m in the tub.”
“Good point. Have you had your bloody show?”
“I’m taking that as a no. I don’t want to explain it, it’s pretty gross, but that’s good because it only happens right before the baby comes so we still have time.”
Leela smiled and her voice cracked with emotion. “You read the baby books.”
“Yeah, I read three of them.”
“Thank you.” She said.
“You’re welcome. Now come on, let’s go.”
After paying the cab driver Fry and Leela rushed into the ER.
“Okay,” Fry said. “Almost there. Hi,” he said to the woman behind the desk. “This is Trunga Leela.”
“Oh, yes. We’ll take good care of you. Let me get you a wheel chair we’ll take you to your room. Who’s your doctor?”
“Dr. Lee. We just called him and he’s on his way.”
“There you go dear,” The woman said helping Leela sit down. “Sam?” she called out.
A young man with brown hair and light blue scrubs walked up to them. “Yeah?”
“Please take Miss Leela to room 309.” She handed him a clipboard.
“You’re our nurse?” Fry asked.
“That’s why I’m holding a clipboard. So, what else is up with you guys?”
Fry and Leela just stared at him and he smirked. “I’m just kidding, let’s go have a baby.”
“Sorry,” Sam said to Leela as he finished putting her IV in. “I had so much trouble finding that vein. Little guy didn’t really want me to find him.”
“Is that the baby?” Leela asked pointing to a screen showing a heartbeat.
“Yep. So we can see how the little guy or gal is doing.”
There was a knock on the door and Dr. Lee walked in with a chart. “Fry, Leela, interesting night.”
“Thank you so much for coming.” Fry said.
“Well what else do I need to do tonight, except sleep. I’m totally kidding.” He looked over Leela’s chart.
“He’s at a bar mitzvah on Druidia.”
“Well lucky for you I have no Jewish friends.”
“Uh Dr. Lee,” Leela said. “I really want to do this natural; I don’t want to use drugs.”
“Okay, we’ll just check everything out, see where we are and take things from there. Alright?”
A few hours later Fry sat beside Leela messaging the small of her back as she laid on her side.
“How’s that feel?” he asked.
“Great,” she said. “Thank you.”
“I could do this all day.”
“Cool,” she smiled. Leela was doing a mental countdown of when her next contraction would be when the monitor next to her beeped. “What was that?”
“I don’t know,” Fry said standing up. “What the hell was that?”
As if almost on cue Sam walked in and checked the monitor before paging Dr. Lee who walked in less than a minute later.
“Well boys and girls,” he said. “What’s the problem?”
Sam pointed to the screen and Lee turned to Leela. “Okay, Leela I need you to turn on your back now. The baby’s heart rate is slowing, but it’s going to be okay.”
Fry put a hand on Leela’s shoulder. “It’s gonna be fine.”
“Okay,” she said nervously
“You’re going to feel a little push,” he said pressing on her stomach.
“Oh my God!” Leela groaned grabbing Fry’s arm.
“What are you doing?” Fry asked.
“I’m turning the baby to take the pressure off the cord.”
The beeping stopped and Fry let out a sigh of relief.
“Okay, I think we’re good for now, but we need to get things moving, I don’t want to keep the baby in there too long, I think the cord could be wrapped around the neck. Leela, I’m going to give you some medicine to induce labor and some for the pain.”
“Wait,” Leela said. “I don’t want the baby all drugged out, it’s not part of my birth plan.”
“Things change; we don’t have time to negotiate.”
“Wait a minute,” Fry said. “We just want to take a minute to go over our options.”
“No you want to tell me how to do my job. My job is to get the baby out safely. Or I can go home. You pick.”
“Can I talk to you in the hall for a second,” Fry said before Leela got a chance to respond.
“She needs to let go and let me do my job.” Lee said once they were in the hall.
“I know,” Fry said. “But she's just having a hard time because her and our doctor had a very specific birth plan.”
“Well we have a new birth plan: Get the baby out safely.”
“Okay, but can you just help me? I have no idea what I’m doing here, and you can be as big a jerk to me as you want. Just please be nice to her.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s start fresh.”
“Thank you.” Fry said opening the door.
Lee moved to the foot of the hospital bed in front of Leela. “Leela, I’m sorry I was a little brash, but It’s very important that we give you some medicine to speed things up because I don’t want anything to happen to the baby.”
“Whatever,” Leela said crossing her arms. “Do what you have to.”
Lee and Sam walked out and Fry sat down on the edge of Leela’s bed.
“God that guy’s a nightmare.” She said.
“I know, but I talked to him and I think he’ll be cool now.”
Leela looked at Fry and gave him a sad smile. “I’m so sorry I broke up with you.”
Fry took her hand. “It’s alright. I mean, I knew you’d give me another chance…I thought it might be a little sooner than this, but whatcha gonna do?” he chuckled.
“I just was in a panic from all of this…and watching Pete and Debbie…” Fry watched as she rolled her teary eye. “And my ass got so fat.”
“No,” Fry said wiping her tears away.
“It did, it really did.”
“No it didn’t.”
“I just didn’t think that my co-worker who got me pregnant would actually be the right guy for me. I guess he is.”
Fry leaned over and kissed her. “You bet on it baby.” He looked down and kissed her stomach. “You bet on it too, baby.”
Hearing a noise behind him he turned and saw the door opening as Amy, Bender, Pete and Debbie walked in. They all walked over and hugged Leela.
“Of course we’d go out of town when this happened.” Debbie laughed.
“Hey Leela,” Bender said extending his one eye. “How do you want this? Over the shoulder or some Spike Lee angles? What?”
“No, you can shoot the waiting room.”
“Well, I think Debbie and I got it from here.” Amy said. “Right?”
“Yeah.” She said turning to Fry. “Thanks for your help.”
“Guys,” Leela said.
“Can I talk to you two in the hall for a second?” Fry asked.
As Pete and Bender made their way to the waiting room Fry stood outside the room with Amy and Debbie.
“Listen, I’d like to be in there, with Leela alone.”
“Okay, we understand how you feel Fry.” Debbie said. “But this isn’t up to you.”
“Yeah,” Amy said. “After everything that’s happened between you and Leela-“
“Okay, Debbie, Amy, you are high off your ass if you think you’re coming into that room. If you take one step towards the door I will tell the nurses that there are two crazy chicks, in a pink sweat suit and yellow dress, who are snatching up babies. So stay in your area over there, stay out of my room and back off.”
Amy and Debbie walked over to Pete and Bender in the waiting room and sat down with them.
“What happened?” Bender asked.
“He kicked us out.” Amy said. “But I guess it’s okay. I think he’s going to take care of her.”
“I think I like him.” Debbie said to Pete. “I think he’s going to be a great dad.”
“Thank God.” The two of them said in unison.
“I wish I got that on tape.” Bender said.
“Oh my God!” Leela yelled squeezing Fry’s hand. “Oh God, this really hurts!”
“Well,” Lee said walking in. “I see we’re on our way here.”
“I want the epidural,” Leela said breathing heavily.
“Please give it to her,” Fry begged as she squeezed his hand.
“Leela, we’re passed the point of an epidural, you’re fully dilated.”
“No! No! I know there’s time! I’ll make sure it doesn’t come out, I’ll stop pushing.”
“I’m sorry Leela, there is no time. We’ll have to do this the all-natural way. The way you wanted to, remember?”
“Okay,” She wined.
“Okay, ready? Here comes another contraction, okay? I want you to push! 1, 2, 3!”
Leela squeezed Fry’s hand harder. “I feel everything! Oh my God! It’s happening!”
“Maybe we can just take it down a little,” Sam said. “I think you might scare the other pregnant woman.”
“Are you kidding me?!” Leela screamed.
In the waiting room Amy, Bender, Debbie and Pete sat there listening to Leela’s screams as Hermes, Dr. Zoidberg and the Professor walked in.
“Something’s wrong,” Bender said. “This is messed up.”
“No,” Zoidberg said. “I mean, granted, gynecology’s only a hobby of mine, but it sounds to me like she's crowning. Is that right, Debbie?”
“Yeah,” she said. “That’s what it’s like for everyone.”
“No,” Bender said, “I disagree. That sounds awful! I’m going to make sure that everything’s okay.”
“Okay, it’s crowning!” Lee said. “I can see the head.”
Fry craned his neck and looked before gagging. “Oh God.”
“What does it look like Fry?” Leela asked.
“You don’t want to see it.”
“No, I do.”
“It's beautiful. You don't want to, though.”
“No I want to see it.”
Fry grabbed a mirror and angled it so Leela could see what was going on.
“Oh God!” Leela said looking away. “Oh God, oh God, oh God!”
The door opened and Bender walked in. “Hey is everything-Oh my God!”
“Get out!” Leela screamed.
Bender ran out and slammed the door before going back to the waiting room.
“You okay Bender?” Hermes asked.
“I shouldn’t have gone in there. Don’t go in there!”
Back in the room Leela gave one final push and she looked up seeing Fry smile.
“You did it!” he said as Lee held up the baby and the nurses wiped him off before handing him to Leela.
“Oh my God,” she said smiling. “He’s beautiful.”
“Congratulations you two.” Lee said.
“You did so great Leela,” Fry said.
“I love you Fry,”
“I love you too.” He said kissing her. Fry looked down at the baby boy in her arms and smiled. “He got out! Welcome buddy!”
“What are we going to name him?” Leela asked suddenly. “We never talked about it.”
“Hmm,” Fry paused and thought for a moment. “How about Jacob?”
“Jacob Fry…I like it.” She smiled. “Wanna go get everyone?”
“Sure,” he said kissing the top of her head. “Be right back.”
Walking out into the waiting room Fry smiled broadly as he approached his friends. “Everyone?” he said getting their attention. “It’s a boy!”
“Aww!” everyone said running up to him and pulling him into a large group hug.
“Wanna meet him? Lets go!”
Fry led them all back to the room where the nurse let 4 in at a time starting with Bender, Amy, Debbie and Pete.
Leela looked up as Fry led their friends inside and heard Debbie and Amy gasp happily at the sight of her with her newborn son. They all gathered around her bed as Bender filmed.
“Oh my God,” Debbie said hugging her. “He’s beautiful.” Smiling she turned to Fry and hugged him. “Aw, I love you guys”
“We love you too Debbie.” He chuckled.
Debbie turned to Pete and kissed him. “We’re going to have another baby.”
Pete’s eyes grew wide and looked at Bender. “No we’re not.” He mouthed.
That night while Leela slept in her hospital bed hours after everyone left, Fry sat on the edge of her bed holding Jacob rocking him to sleep.
“And then your Mom said ‘Just do it already’ which was very confusing to Daddy, so I listened to the literal translation. I mean what would you do? So I just went ahead and did it.” He looked over at Leela still sleeping and he turned back to his son whispering: “Don’t tell anyone, but listening to Mommy was the smartest thing I have ever done.”
There was a knock at the door and Fry gently put Jacob back in his crib before answering it. Pete stood on the other side with his hands in his pockets.
“Here,” he said handing him a ring box. “Paid in full.”
“What?” Fry said looking up. “I only had a quarter down.”
“I’ll pay you back.” Fry said.
“Sure you will.” He winked. “If not, consider it a gift.”
Pete walked away and Fry closed the door before taking a seat next to Leela’s bed. He looked at the ring inside the box before placing it on the mattress and smiled.