Fan Fiction

Fatal Attractions
By Dwayne Anderson

It was a beautiful evening at a coffee shop in New New York. Fry was drinkinga cup of coffee from the coffee dispensing machine. This was his sixth cup already. He hadn't drank so much in so little time since he had dowbed one hundred cups of coffee after getting a tax rebate.(Watch Three Hundred Big Ones for details.)

Fry had eagerly awaited tonigh. In less than an hour, he had a date with his one true love...Turanga Leela, to watch the fireworks of Independence Day. They planned to get the best view of all, from the top floor of the Empire State Building II(the first one was destroyed by aliens when New York was destroyed. See Space Pilot 3000 for details.)

Just then, a gorgeous blonde sat down.

"Hey handsome" she said. "Are you busy tonight? Cause I wondering if you could watch the fireworks with me tonight."

Fry knew who she was. She was Heather Dawn, one of New New York's most beautiful and famous supermodels.

"Sorry" said Fry, "I already have a date."

"We could watch the show from my hotel room. And make love at the same time" said Heather.

"But I'm in love with Leela" said Fry. "She's the only one for me. I love no one more than her! Why don't you go enlighten somebody else?!"

Fry stood and walked out of the coffee shop.

"Oh I always enlighten" said Heather as he left. "If that fails, I kill."

Later, Fry was on the tallest floor of the Empire State Building II.

Standing next to him was Leela. They stood before a large window, waiting for the show to begin.

Suddenly, Fry felt as if his bladder would expode.

"Uh oh" he said. "I have to go potty! I knew I shouldn't have drunk that last cup of coffee at Planet Express before I left!"

He ran as fast as he could out the door and down the hall to the bathroom.

Leela stood alone, patiently waiting for Fry. It wouldn't be long before the show started. She didn't want to miss it.

Suddenly, Heather walked up behind her.

"Are you Leela?" she asked.

Leela turned to face her. "Yes. Why?"

Heather suddenly gave Leela a mighty push, sending her skidding towards the window. It smashed, sending Leela falling down towards the pavement below.

"Oh, nothing" said Heather with an evil smile.

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Fry unzipped his pants.

"Flush" he said.

The toilet flushed itself.

As Fry walked out of the bathroom, he saw the rest of the Planet Express crew.

"Hey guys" he said. "What's with the long faces? And where's Leela? What's up?"

"Fry, we don't know how to tell you this" said Zoidberg, "but...Leela...is...dead."

Fry gasped. "What?!"

"Someone who saw the whole thing told us what happened. She slipped and fell out the window" said Hermes.

"Who?" asked Fry.

"Some girl named Heather" said Hermes.

"Oh and one more thing" said Farnsworth, "she gave us this message to give to you."

He gave Fry a piece of paper. It read "meet me downstairs on Floor 7".

Downstairs on floor 7, Fry met up with Heather.

"I'm sorry about Leela" she said. "Now, as I was saying before, how about we got to my hotel room and make love while watching the fireworks?"

"Are you crazy?!" said Fry. "With Leela dead, I can't go on! I'm jumping out that window right now!"

Suddenly the window smashed. In flew Leela.

"Leela?! You're alive!" said Fry.

"That's impossible!" said Heather. "You're supposed to be dead!"

"Nice try" said Leela. "Whenever I get knocked down, I get back up. And let me tell you Fry, I didn't slip! She pushed me!"

"What?!" said Fry. He turned to Heather. "How could you do such a horrible thing?!"

"Because nobody gets in my way of getting what I want!" said Heather.

"Wait a second" said Leela. "I heard about a woman who falls in love with married or engaged men, and then kills their women by pushing them out the window of a tall building! That person is you!"

"Correct" said Heather. "If I can't have your boyfriend, no one shall! I'll push you both out that window! Say hello to all my previous victims!"

Leela leaped up and flipped in the air, then landed behind Heather.

"Tell them yourself!" she said as she delived a mighty kick, sending Heather flying. The window smashed, sending a screaming Heather towards the pavement, down to her death.

"Leela, how did you manage to survive that fall?" asked Fry.

"Easy" said Leela. "Lucky me I grabbed a hold of a flagpole outside above this floor on the eighth level."

"Wow!" said Fry. "Wait till I tell the others that you're still alive!"

Just then, the sky lit up with fireworks.

"Oh well" said Leela. "At least we still got a good view from here."

"The others can wait" said Fry. "I don't want to spoil this moment."

Fry and Leela watched the show, holding hands.

The End