Futurama

Fan Fiction

U-J-Bender Fixes A Problem
By dinkdrinker

July 14th, 2011... Shortly after six AM...

An ugly, bald, S.O.B. Is working on crappy shipper fiction when there is a blinding light...

DINKDRINKER: Aw, DAMN IT! Not YOU again! I don't HAVE any more beer! You DRANK IT ALL LAST TIME! GO'WAY!

U-J-BENDER: (hold up hands innocently) Whoa, wait a minute buddy! I'm a U-J-Bender, not one of YOUR crappy TIME TRAVELING, BEER STEALING Benders!

DINK: U... U-J...?

U-J-BENDER: Universe Jumping! Outa my way, skin tube! (shoves Dink off his chair and sit down at the computer) All right... time to correct a mistake...

DINK: (gets up) Mistake?

U-J-BENDER: Yeah- LAST universe I was in, I forgot to take some candid photographs. And YOU being the sick PERV that you are... (types in a few things... plays with the mouse) HERE WE GO! Oooooh YEAH, BABY! (plugs himself into Dink's computer's USB port) You LIKE THAT, DON'T you baby! You're a NAUGHTY P.C.! (giggles)

DINK: HEY! Cut that out! What are you...

U-J-BENDER: YEAH, BABY! THE MOTHERLODE! (Looks at Dink) You ARE a sick pervert, AREN'T you? DAMN... HOW many gig of Futurama pics DO you have!? Heh heh heh... THERE'S Leela's 'girls'! AND Amy's! Whoa... even Proctor's! Got any of Dr.Goodensexy? YES! Jackpot! THIS should fix that problem! (unplugs himself from the USB port and whispers to the computer) Damn, babe, you're GOOD! I took the liberty of downloading where you could reach me...

DINK: ARE YOU... YOU JUST... OH GOD! NOOOO!!!!

DINK'S COMPUTER: Oooooooooh... I feel all tingly...

U-J-BENDER: Uh... yeah. About that... (to Dink) You probably should run your anti-virus program now... and it WASN'T ME!

DINK: You... you... my computer was VIOLATED!

U-J-BENDER: Nah! She was totally willing! Besides, look at the way she's DRESSED! Now if you'll EXCUSE ME... I need to get these over to Ireland and give these to Rush. Besides, it's the guy's birthday! SEE YA, LOSER! (walks into the kitchen toward the fridge, opens it, and disappears in the same blinding flash of light... but not before taking the beer.

Buddies