Delicious Surprise, Part 1
Parts total: 1 of ?
Content: Nothing Much to speak of; some small amount of violence
and sexual innuendo possible
Spoilers: For the general Futurama Cannon up to and including
"The Farnsworth Parabox".
Cannon: Post-The Farnsworth Parabox; Futurefic.
Characters: TPE Crew, plus Nibbler, Zap and Kiff, and, of course,
the lovable Morbo.
Category: Slice of Life action-drama
Archical rights: Automatic archival at the BCE Archive, Kai's
Page, Beyond Boundaries, Simpworks.com and The Leela Zone. All others may ask,
send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please
inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Please
do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words
and uses them as key words, such as "Google"
Distribution rights: Please contact me in order for this story
to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy
my works, please email me their address and I will mail them the stories, expressly
for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me
that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished
product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work!
Disclaimer: Leela and all Futurama Characters were created by
and are the property of Matt Groening, with temp licenses to Fox, Inc. This
piece of fanfiction is not intended to misrepresent actual events and bare no
resemblance to any event that has ever occurred in reality, past or present.
It is not meant to disparage the used character trademarks or used persons.
No copyright infringement is intended, and the author is not making any money
from the publication of this story.
However, Lilah Fry belongs to me, as will the unnamed offspring of Amy, (Technically)
Leela and Kiff (they'll be the only O.C.'s in the story). I'm rather proud of
that, and may she never descend to Mary-Sue levels ;-).
NOTES: My first Futurama prose fic! Set twenty years after the
end of "The Farnsworth Parabox", which puts Leela, Fry and Co. in their 40's.
That will make Kiff, Amy and Leela's children from "Kiff Gets Knocked Up a Notch"
at about six years of age (since Kiff didn't say how old they would be when
they crawled back up onto land). For convenience's sake, we'll say that two
of them managed to find Kiff, Amy and Leela. Lilah's fourteen years old.
We will flash back in upcoming chapters and explain how it is that Fry and Leela
were married again, etc., etc.
And since the show itself has stated that Kiff and Amy's kids are biologically
Leela's (and some appeared having just one eye), it wouldn't be too far of a
stretch that Leela would feel a maternal bond there. All will be revealed in
Trust me, this only sounds more complicated than it reads!
She frowned at the image regarding her from the mirror.
Her fingers dug through the shiny mass of hair, twisting it experimentally in a knot. She stuck her tongue out at the mirror's reflection.
It was too early in the morning to make a decision.
She sighed to herself, allowing her heavy violet tresses to fall over her shoulders. She brushed it out and flicked on the bathroom light, sneakily applying some lip gloss.
Her highlights shone like threads of fire in the light.
"Li? Li, honey, time to get up!"
"Coming, Mom!" She flicked the light back off, running from the bathroom, down the hallway and through the living room.
The sight of something violet tucked beneath a metal head stopped her progress.
"Uncle Bender?" She asked softly, half-afraid to wake up the slumbering robot. But her violet buggalo-hide jacket lay beneath his head, and she wasn't going to freeze her way to the tubes. Cautiously, she crept up to the couch he had sprawled himself across, then tugged at the end of the jacket.
Bender stirred, shifting to his left, not enough to uncover the jacket. One mighty tug later she had the jacket in her hands, and her "uncle" landed on the floor with a resounding thud.
"Heyhoozawhatzatz?" Bender shouted, his arms flailing as he rose from sleep mode. His eyes fell upon her. "Oh, it's the Meatball." He said, using the pet name he had given her years before. With narrowed eyes, he added, "Waddya doing, waking me up this early?"
"It's eight," She said.
"It is? Tell your dad I'm sleeping in."
"But it's the Holy Festival of Robotaton!"
"You told me to tell him that last week!"
"Lilah.." Her mother paused against the door jam that lead from the kitchen to the living room, "Bender, get up. You and Fry have to go to Beluga 88 this morning."
"Aww! Not more whale people! They make me all...oily." Whined Bender.
Leela Fry looked skyward as she yanked the robot to his feet. "You're a robot. You've drunk oil!"
Lilah felt a sharp shock of surprise at her mother's show of strength, but made no comment as she vociferously argued with Bender.
Leaving them there to fight, Lilah persued breakfast. She found her father in the kitchen..and in his normal state; mild confusion. He stared at a can in detached concentration, only looking up when her shadow enveloped his reading light.
"Morning, Honey." He rose to greet her with a customary kiss to the cheek.
"Hey, daddy. What's wrong?"
"Nothing...This can says it feeds one person, but it feels really light for that." He shrugged, opening up the can and dumping it on the table. Neither of them were much surprised when a plate of pancakes, and two slabs of bacon flopped onto the empty plate before him, followed rapidly by a flow of syrup and two pats of butter. Fry frowned, shaking the can; out came a plastic glass, followed by a stream of orange juice. He shook the can once more, but it rattled emptily, "Aww! It's not the kind with the milk in it."
"Do we have any in the fridge?"
He looked up, "I didn't think of that."
Fry busied himself dishing out breakfast for the rest of the family. "Want some Rice Kripsies?"
Lilah nodded, and he tossed her a box of the cereal. She poured herself a small amount and then doused the cereal liberally with milk. Within seconds of its saturation, the cereal piped. "Your Mamma's so fat, her ass got its own zip code!"
"Oooh! Snap!" Bender called from the doorway.
"Bender, you're going. Or else."
"Or else what?"
"Or else you won't be paid!"
Bender's eyes narrowed, "What's it to ya? I live in your broom closet and you buy me my booze!"
"Well, I'll cut off your allowance."
Bender glared...as much as any robot could glare. He mumbled something.
"What was that?" Leela teased.
"I said I'll go, fleshbag!" He muttered a few curses beneath his breath as he sat down to Lilah's left, seizing a bottle of beer and emptying it.
"Where are we going?" Fry asked his wife.
"Aww! Not Whale people again?!"
"Right now, they're our best customer." She sighed.
"Yeah, but the last time I was there it was bad."
"Why?" Leela asked, sitting down beside him.
"Well, you know how the tribal leader always asks you to ride on their back, y'know, to show that you trust them? Yeah, I slipped into his blowhole the last time."
"What're you whining about, skintube?" Bender asked, "I had to kiss him. On the TONGUE."
Leela wrapped an arm around Fry's shoulder, nuzzling her husband's cheek, "Aww...It'll be better this time."
He eyed her warily, "Promise?"
"Well, I can't promise. But if you go, tonight I'll.." She leaned in close and began whispering into his ear. Fry's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open, emitting a tiny stream of pancake syrup from between his lips. . Bender leaned forward, trying to catch snippets of Leela's enticing suggestions, encouraging Leela to end her promises swiftly, and with a kiss.
"Oh, gross!" Moaned Lilah, covering her eyes with a groan.
Fry swallowed, "Hey, be happy that your parents still kiss each other. The only guy my mom kissed when I was a kid was the mailman...and the cable repairman...and the rim of her martini glass."
Suddenly, Leela's wristamajigger began beeping, emitting a snippet of the chorus to the Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band" into the air.
"Nice ringtone," Fry absently said, returning to his food.
"I don't know why you like classical music so.." Lilah began, but Leelah was having a videophone conversation with the person at the other end of the line.
"Oh, hi Hermes...huh?! What?!" The communicator released a series of staccato beeps, "I can't hear you on this end! Hold up a...Oh poo; Fry and I will be right there." She turned off the communicator, "Come on, Fry, we've got to get to the office."
"Whathwrong?" He asked around a mouthful of pancakes.
"There was a meteor shower last night; New New York is covered in ash. We have to get a shipment of Thorzine Waffles to Planet Plath before they figure out that the only thing keeping them in their bell jars are their crippling enui!"
"Oh, I remember the last time they tried to riot; what a bunch of pusses. We told 'em their daddies didn't love 'em and they all ran into the kitchen and tried to stuff their heads in the communal oven. They're trying to do it again?" Bender asked.
"Two times out of ten." Leela responded.
"Cool! Are you going to come with?" Fry asked.
Leela's expression changed, turning distant, sad, "I wish I could...but since the Professor died, you know how much stuff there is to do around the office. Hermes can only take care of so much by himself, and you need Amy and Kiff on the ship. Lilah, honey, can you do me a favor before you go to school?"
Lilah perked up a bit.
"Could you take Nibbler for a walk? Oh, and sweetie, could you go see Professor Farnsworth at the Head Museum on the way home?"
She winced, "Mom, every time I see him he asks when you and dad are going to visit. And then he goes on and on about how you never listened to him when he was alive and now that he's dead..."
She sighed, "I know...I wish he hadn't bequeathed himself to be put on display there when he died, but it was in his will. I told him not to make Hermes executor. The guy's a stickler for details."
Lilah tried to smile, but she found expressing joy harder than she imagined.
"Honey, I know it's hard, being the youngest kid in the family. You only get to see your brother and sister every two weeks, and your dad and I lean on you a lot..." Her communicator beeped again; with a sigh, she kissed her daughter's forehead, "I love you, Lilah. Please stay safe, OK? Watch out for the hover cars...Oh, watch out for everything, OK?"
"I know, mom." She said, the familiarity of her mother's warning washing through her, "I'll see you after school.."
Fry hugged his daughter, "We'll watch All My Circuits together tonight, I promise."
"OK, daddy." His smile widened when she called him that.
"Watch out for...everything." He hugged her harder, "Just don't get hurt, OK? I know you don't like burny stuff..."
He sensed Lilah's impatience, and gave her another brief hug before joining his wife in the living room. "Bender?" Leela called from the living room.
"I ain't goin! It's an Ash day, and we never get ash days!"
Fry sighed, "I wish I could stay here," He said, adding, "Have fun!" with a wink to his daughter before leaving.
As Lilah loaded the dishes into the washer, Nibbler began rubbing himself against her ankles, whimpering in distressed tones. "You really need to walk, don't you, little guy?"
"Hey, meatball; I can walk him for you."
She stared at him in surprise, "Lemme guess; you want to try out the new liquor store at the end of the block?"
Bender's eyes brightened, glowing a bit, "The ads say they have schnapps in twenty flavors. Think they have motor oil?" His eyes turned dreamy as he drifted off.
She handed Bender Nibbler's leash, "Wanna keep me company on the walk to the tubes?"
He shrugged, "Why not?" Lilah smiled as she pulled her jacket on; this was as close as her Uncle Bender would ever come to admitting that he liked spending time with her.
Oh well; it was a good excuse to wear her new boots, the one Amy bought her for XMas, and the ones her mother disapproved of as being impractical. Bender trudged out the door before her, a bright blue scarf wound about his neck, Nibbler cloaked in a heavy sweater that he viciously bit at as he pulled the robot forward. When Lilah stepped out onto the curb, she blinked back at the painfully white surface that greeted her.
About six inches of white ash lay outside the Robot Arms apartment complex; People, aliens and robots trudged through the heavy powder as it continued to come down in thick, cool sheets. Her parent's tracks on the curb were fading swiftly.
"Boy, nothing stops them." She noticed sadly.
Bender heard her, or pretended not to hear. He had an easier time navigating through the ash, leaving Lilah at a disadvantage. She wished that she had taken her hoverboard, but her mother had insisted she return it because it was dangerous. Dangerous; everything was too dangerous to her mother. Lilah trudged on behind Bender, an angry purpose in each step, though the weight of the drifts made her almost bowlegged. Cars and buses remained parked where they were; she wasn't surprised to see that the tubes were packed full of white powder. Two officers of the law shoved long-handled brooms up the clogged vessels, trying to clear them.
"Can you wait while I try to figure out what's going on?" She asked Bender.
"Hurry it up; those vodka bottles aren't going to drain themselves." He replied, as Nibbler yanked harshly at his leash.
Liliah approached the officers as Bender vented his circuits on the little creature. But before she could come within spitting distance of the tubes; one of the officers blocked her approach, spreading out his arms.
"Hey kid; if you're waiting to transport to Spiccoli Junior High, classes have been canceled." The shorter one announced.
"Yeah," Came a voice from inside the tube, "Everything's shut down, even the crematorium." A rumbling noise issued from within, followed swiftly by a flood of ash and a coughing, one-eyed being with brown hair.
"Thanks." Said Lilah. A secret happiness washed over her; like her father, she wasn't much of a student, and, like her mother, she wasn't very popular with her classmates. Teacher after teacher had proclaimed Lilah their least favorite student; she excelled at the written word, but anything that involved speaking publicly embaressed her to the point of muteness. One of her teachers had been so bold as to suggest to Leela that her daughter was "socially backward"; her mother hadn't taken kindly to that.
Frankly, Lilah found most subjects at school boring, almost as boring as drooling with her peers over the 'Total Hotness' of Corybot 5000. Her best subjects remained creative writing and science; the ones that required the least amount of group participation. Her fondest ambition had also reflected her introversion: she wanted to become a writer, one day, in some galaxy where the written word mattered still.
Lilah caught up with Bender two blocks away. He tapped his foot impatiently as Nibbler attempted to find a spot against a lamppost to do his 'business'.
"I ain't gonna lift that." Bender announced.
"Uncle Bender, you know it's too heavy for me. Even dad can't lift it up, and he's the strongest guy I know!"
Bender tried not to laugh, "Poor kid."
"Anyway, School's canceled." She said blithely.
"Aww, great!" Bender complained, "And they ain't gonna let me go in there with you...unless..." His expression turned sneaky.
"I'm not going to wait around out here with Nibbler, Uncle Bender. And please, don't ask me to dress up like a hookbot or something. That's just gross."
He frowned, "What the robot-hell am I gonna do with you hanging around, meatball?"
"Well." She linked her arm around his shoulder, "We could walk down to the Head Museum and say hello to the Professor."
"And what're we gonna do till then? It's two miles away!"
"Well, we could walk..."
"...And you could tell me why you're still a single bot and why you haven't settled down and made your own little Bending units, why not?" She teased, using the accent she had learned from her Uncle Zoidberg.
Bender's eyes narrowed. He was only cared about two human beings (and one mutant) in the entire galaxy; figured that those same three would be the ones to order him about like he was a ButlerBot.
"Yeah, meatball." He said, dragging a whimpering Nibbler behind him, "We'll do that."