Futurama

Fan Fiction

SpyOrama/Kim Possible Crossover Crisis, Part 3
By Fryfan

(Next Scene. PE HQ and Leela and Kim are in a dojo room and both are wearing karate gis.)

Leela: I don't want to sound selfish, but I would very much like to train with you. I understand you are an expert of an ancient martial art.

Kim: You mean, Mantis Kung Fu?

Leela: That's right.

Kim: So, what do you study?

Leela: I practice a few martial arts, but I'm a master of Octuran Kung Fu.

Kim: Octuran? Never heard of it, can you teach me?

Leela: That's why I filled out the forms to give me permission to teach it to you on Earth. (Leela starts by attacking Kim but just like she expected, Kim is able to block and dodge the blows and she is equally matched to Leela. Both Kim and Leela are impressed with each other's style. Cut to Ron and Fry and they are walking down a hallway.)

Ron: So, you're from the 20th century, too? That's cool. (Walks up to a vending machine. Fry gets two cans of Slurm for the both of them.) Thanks. (Ron drinks some and likes it.) This is the best soda I've ever drunk.

Fry: I know it's highly addictive.

Ron: So any place where we can get any snackage?

Fry: We could go to Fishy Joe's?

Ron: Isn't there a Bueno Nacho, anywhere?

Fry: Bueno Nacho?

Vending Machine: Bueno Nacho was a popular restaurant of the early 21st century, but it was bought by a competing company in 2067.

Ron: Dude, the vending machine is talking?

Fry: (to vending machine) How do you know that?

Vending Machine: In addition to majoring in vending, I minored in American Fast Food History.

Ron: So, there's no Bueno Nacho, no naco, no chimerito, no grande size. (Rufus still in Ron's pocket starts crying.)

Fry: Hey, you don't need to feel sad. When I came to the future, I had to get use to the new foods they have. How about a Soylent Meal at Fishy Joe's? (Cut to Kim and Leela and they are through with the workout and are drinking from bottled water.)

Kim: The world sure has changed since I've been gone.

Leela: Yes, but it's not so bad.

Kim: So let's recap, you were an orphan that was hired by the Earth Government to help protect the Earth from some of the worst villains. And your partner Fry is from the 20th Century and frozen for a 1,000 years.

Leela: Yeah that pretty much sums it up.

Kim: I think what you two do, totally rocks.

Leela: It's no big, as you would say. (Kim smiles.)

Kim: So, how many planets have you visited?

Leela: Oh I've been on a few. Too bad I didn't have much time to enjoy it.

Kim: The same is with me when I went all over the world. So, how is your partner?

Leela: Fry? Oh he is a good partner and good friend. At first, he'd mess up on a few missions, but lately he's been doing much better. Though he does try to ask me out on a date now and then, but I have to refuse.

Kim: Why? You say he's a good friend.

Leela: Yes, but it would be difficult to maintain a relationship and be professional with someone in this line of work. I'm sure you'd understand.

Kim: What do you mean?

Leela: I mean you and Ron?

Kim: You mean if Ron and I are dating?

Leela: Yes.

Kim: No, we're just friends.

Leela: Oh. Too bad, he looks kind of cute for a guy his age. Though, he does seem more of a goof off than Fry.

Kim: Don't discredit Ron, he's actually a really good sidekick. He's just had it rough, not too many people understand "the Ron-ness" as he puts it. I gain a huge amount of respect for him when we switched brains.

Leela: I know about that, it was an episode on your cartoon.

Kim: Mr. Fry doesn't look too bad either, but what made you assume Ron and I were dating?

Leela: It's just that I used to watch reruns of your cartoon show and there's always something I wanted to know. You might think it's a question from a fanatic.

Kim: I'd never think that from a person like you.

Leela: It's said that the cartoon was based completely off your life. I remember this one episode where you had this chip that made you fall in love with Ron.

Kim: The Moodulator?

Leela: That really happened to you? I always wanted to know if the chip either created the emotion of your love for Ron or just released what you were feeling about him inside?

Kim: That is a tough question to answer. I like Ron as a friend ever since Pre-K, but until that incident I pondered on whether we'd ever be more than friends.

Leela: Have you ever gone out?

Kim: Well...no...not exactly. I mean we did hang out at Bueno Nacho every Friday, but they were considered a friend thing. They weren't actually dates.

Leela: I see.

Kim: Don't get me wrong, I like Ron, but not in that way. Ron and I have been through a lot, like the times he changed; when I helped to get him a new hair do, the time when he became filthy rich or the time he actually became evil.

Leela: He really became filthy rich?

Kim: Yes and he went all crazy with his money, but luckily he was able to come around.

Leela: Funny, for some reason I could relate.

Kim: I must say Leela, I like getting to know you. We have so much in common.

Leela: To be honest, when I was growing up, I idolized you. But now meeting you in the flesh, and getting to know you, I feel like I'm talking to a little sister.

Kim: I feel the same way, but it makes me think about my family.

Leela: I understand how you feel. I went through most of my life not knowing about my parents, but eventually I was able to find them.

Kim: But my family is back in the past.

Leela: Don't worry, Kim. We'll find a way to get you and Ron back home. (Leela holds Kim hands as a way of reassuring Kim, when suddenly the same agent from earlier arrives.)

Agent: Isn't that sweet, a mother bonding with her daughter.

Leela: She is not my daughter. (Cut to Fry and Ron and they're at Fishy Joe's. They just finished eating and Rufus is on the table eating some flies.)

Fry: So, how was the meal? I liked the walrus smoothie, half shaken, half stirred.

Ron: It's no Bueno Nacho, but I must say Booya!

Fry: Booya?

Ron: That's my way of saying, "this rocks".

Fry: Neat.

Ron: How do you like the food Rufus?

Rufus: Real good.

Fry: Question, why are you feeding your pet that?

Ron: Because he's a naked mole rat and requires his daily fast food intake. (Just then Adam Gilman from SpyOrama 7, "JX: Rise of the Jinx Revolution" overhears this conversation and walks up to them.)

Adam: That is highly unlikely, the naked mole rat has been extinct for 800 years.

Ron: They've been extinct for 800 years?

Rufus: Extinct?

Adam: They disappeared mysteriously around the time the Decpodians started coming to Earth. Those lobsters are so funny. (Adam leaves.)

Fry: You keep forgetting you're in the future.

Ron: Right, right, anyway, I bought Rufus online at the SmartyMart website.

Fry: SmartyMart? That store still exists today, I was there last week and bought three hoverboards for $20.

Ron: Hoverboards, I gotta give me some of that.

Fry: (Fry tries petting Rufus while he's eating, but Rufus tries to bite his finger. Fry decides not to pet him.) So, why's he naked?

Ron: My dad said I could have a pet as long as it didn't have fur because of his allergies.

Fry: Oh. So, what's it like being a sidekick?

Ron: Truth is, it's not as good as it looks. I'm usually the distraction, and Kim does all the fun hero stuff. Can I ask about that good looking cyclops?

Fry: Leela? What about her?

Ron: She looks fabulous.

Fry: No offense, but isn't she a little old for you?

Ron: You don't need to discriminate or are you also eyeing her?

Fry: Me? Well, I guess I am. I've only been in the future for a short while, but we've been through a lot. I often ask her out, but she says it is better that we just stay friends and partners.

Ron: Harsh.

Rufus: So harsh.

Fry: It's not as bad as it seems. She respects me, how about Kim?

Ron: Oh she appreciates the Ron-ness.

Fry: Ron-ness?

Ron: I am what I is, my motto is "never be normal". That is why I have Rufus as family.

Fry: "Never be normal"? That sounds like something I could relate, but how does it feel to hang out with a cute looking girl like Kim Possible?

Ron: Kim's a good friend. She has been ever since we first met in pre-K.

Fry: You've actually known her since preschool?

Ron: I'll never forget that first day of pre-K; the other kids wouldn't talk to me, but she was the only one came over to play with me. She said to me"you're weird, but I like you", and we've been friends ever since.

Fry: Have you two ever gone out?

Ron: Well not in the true "dating" sense. We hang out and eat together, but just as friends.

Fry: You never had a crush on her?

Ron: No, mostly I had crushes on a few other girls but they didn't work out.

Fry: So you've never asked Kim out on a "real date".

Ron: Well there was this one time where she asked me out, but that's only because she was under Moodulator control.

Fry: Moodulator controls? They sell those cheap at the Thrift store. The Professor bought one because he wanted to feel happy that his kid clone brought home an A- instead of an A.

Ron: Yeah well, at first I didn't know she was under moodulator control and I was freaked at her crushing on me. I've always thought about taking our friendship to the next level, but I was afraid it would tank and ruin our friendship.

Fry: So you tried to break up with her?

Ron: Yeah, but then the moodulator went all angry and she tried to hurt me, but she came over the affects and everything was back to normal. We didn't talk much about it, but you know I always felt a part of me never wanted to break up.

Fry: I see.

Ron: Anyway, why would Kim want to be with a guy like me? She likes cool guys like this Josh Mankey. And I'm just me.

Fry: I bet she likes you, but you got to keep trying to impress her.

Ron: Yeah, but it's hard to impress her, since she can do anything. The only impressive things I've done is become the school mascot, invent the naco and the time I became a masked superhero. Not that I was trying to impress her mind you. Now, I tell her I want to be a secret agent after high school, and she feels I could better. She's always trying to look out for me.

Fry: Sounds like she really cares for you.

Ron: I know this one Christmas, I went on a mission alone and her little brothers actually told me she cried when she thought I was gone forever.

Fry: Interesting.

Ron: Yeah and when knew I was okay, she actually kissed me on the cheek under the mistletoe, but later said it was just for Christmas tradition.

Fry: Give it time, Ron. At first, Leela wasn't impressed that I was her partner, but then she eventually started to appreciate my abilities. If you really want to be a secret agent, work hard at it and then she'll begin to notice you just like how Leela notices me.

Ron: You know you may have a point there, Kim has commented that I've been improving on the whole sidekick thing. I've managed to be more then just the distraction and I've actually saved her life on a few occasions.

Fry: Maybe you should talk to her about this.

Ron: What? Me ask her out? That would be too weird. What if she says "no"?

Fry: What if she says "yes"? Since you have managed to stay friends all those years, you two have a strong bond. A bond I hope to have with Leela someday. (Cut to PE ship flying across the solar system and Kim and Ron are given a tour of the planets. Leela is piloting the ship.)

Kim: This is amazing, science class was nothing like this.

Ron: (nervous) Just so I know, where are the escape pods?

Kim: Ron calm down. Everything is perfectly alright?

Leela: Of course. (Alarm goes off.) Meter shower, brace for impact. (Next Scene. The warehouse where Ironfinger and Drakken are busy talking and so are Jinx and Shego.)

Shego: So you are a college graduate and you're an expect at many martial arts and other femme fatale skills and you're from Mars?

Jinx: That's correct, and I know much about you.

Shego: How much?

Jinx: You were once apart of a superhero team, but left to join Drakken because you love being evil more than doing good.

Shego: How did you know that?

Jinx: Spluh, I used to watch the Saturday morning cartoon.

Shego: You mean there's a cartoon about my personal life? I feel like finding the person responsible and making him pay. (Cut to Ironfinger and Drakken.)

Drakken: So, you're a robot built with a deformity?

Ironfinger: That's right, one of my fingers is made of iron.

Drakken: And you are also a big fan of mine?

Ironfinger: Yes, I am. I've researched about you every since I was built. I realized that you were a victim of ridicule and that drove you to evil. You were a role model to me.

Drakken: Well, I'm glad that my evil precedes me.

Jinx and Shego: (Sarcastically) Please.

Shego: So, let me get this straight; this is the 31st century and Kim Possible is some legend and I'm a Saturday morning cartoon character?

Jinx: That's correct. You were considered Kim's arch rival and you fought seemly in every episode. It was said to be based on actual battles. You earned the respect of every evil femme fatale in the universe. When I was a little girl on Mars, I learned about your feud with Kim in history class. While most girls liked Kim, I had a huge interest in you.

Shego: Really? I must say that fight we had back there, you were good. I mean, the only other person I could think to stand toe to toe with me was Kim Possible.

Jinx: I've spent my life studying similar fighting techniques that you studied.

Shego: Well, I don't normally say this, but I'm really impressed.

Drakken: Shego.

Ironfinger: Jinx.

Drakken: We decided that us four should join forces and help take over the world.

Shego: Again with the teaming up. Drakken that's never worked for us.

Jinx: Ironfinger, remember when we did that?

Drakken: Well ladies, this is the first we all have had the fortune of teaming up.

Ironfinger: And this time it will be different.

Shego: Well what about Kim Possible?

Jinx: I'm sure Agent 1BDI and 014 will pose a threat just as well.

Drakken: We have discussed each other's enemies and we have something in store for them. (Phone rings and it's Ironfinger cell phone.)

IronfingerL Hold on I need to take this. (He leaves for a private call. Next Scene. Outside the Head Museum. Fry, Leela, Ron and Kim are outside and they are in their casual clothes.)

Kim: Head Museum? Why are we here?

Leela: This is where we can find your old friend, Wade Load. And also, the museum's free on Tuesdays. (They enter inside the front door and they all amazed at the many heads of famous celebrities. Ron is a little freaked out at the fact there are talking heads of people in jars.)

Fry: Look. (Points to a sign that will lead them down an aisle of the heads of 1980's bands.) Let's see if we can find members of the Talking Heads.

Leela: Maybe later, Fry. Let's check the special Kim Possible aisle.

Kim: I have my own aisle?

Leela: Yes, Mr. Wade Load spent years trying to set this up. (They pass by the heads of some of Kim's villains. Duff Killigan, Monkey Fist, Motor Ed, the Seniors, DNAmy, Gil and a few others. They don't say anything, they just stare at amazement of seeing their arch foe in person for the first time in a long time.)

Kim: This is so weird. But where's...? (Just then we hear a familiar voice.)

Wade: Kim! (The four look ahead and they see Wade, only he's a head in a jar. He sounds like Michael Clarke Duncan. He looks about the same as his future self in "A Sitch In Time".)

Kim: Wade?

Ron: Wade, in the flesh. Well sort of, did you lose weight?

Wade: Same old Ron.

Kim: Wade, what happened?

Leela: Mr. Load was able to develop the technology to keep people's heads alive in jars.

Wade: I had help with Ron Popeil. His head is down the hall and to the left.

Kim: So Wade, what have you done in the last 1000 years?

Wade: A lot, I helped reform Team Possible, after you two disappeared. Jim and Tim, once they were old enough they started going on missions and did a good job. However, nobody could ever take your places.

Kim: What about our parents?

Wade: Your parents spent years trying to find you two. Jim and Tim interrogated every villain you fought for answers, except for Drakken and Shego since they disappeared too. Hey look, the museum is going to close early to spray for owls.

Leela: They would pick Tuesday.

Wade: Why don't we meet later tonight at "Elzars"? Diner's on me. (Just then small spider robots start crawling around the floor, they resemble but are legally distinct from the ones from Minority Report. Ron is the first to notice them.)

Ron: Aw KP, what are those?

Leela: Oh God!

Kim: What is it? A deadly weapon?

Leela: Worse, they're Paparazzi cameras. (The spiders reveal to have built in cameras and start flashing at Kim. A some group of Paparazzi enter.)

Paparazzi1: That anonymous caller was right, Kim Possible has come out of hiding.

Scoop Chan: Ms. Possible, Scoop Chan. How does it feel to be a huge legend? Where have you been? And is there any truth that you and your sidekick are more than just friends?

Leela: Kim run! (Kim runs towards the crowd and she manages to jump over them and run.)

Paparazzi1: She won't get far. (The spider robots race after her.)

Scoop Chan: Paparazzi, keep these three busy. (Scoop Chan heads after Kim as five Paparazzi surround Fry, Leela, and Ron.)

Fry: Get behind us Ron.

Paparazzi2: Mr. Stoppable, can you comment on that gay rumor?

Ron: I've been in the future less than 1 day and people already spread rumors about me?

(Leela kicks one Paparazzi down. Another has two hand held flash bulbs and they are tied together like nun-chucks. Leela manages to do a spinning heel kick and takes him out. Fry manages to help get Ron out of the room.)

Ron: Let's go find Kim.

Fry: Right. (Cut to Kim running up the stairs to the second floor of the building and the spider robots are chasing after her. She manages to reach the second floor and runs down a hallway. She enters a room that reads, "Head Bathing Room". She looks around and sees a few heads soaking in the spa.)

Lucy Liu's Head: Oh God, it's Kim Possible.

Jennifer Garner's Head: Oh, can you please sign my jar?

Kim: Maybe later, but can you please help me? I'm being chased by robot cameras.

Jennifer Garner's Head: Those things are so annoying.

Lucy Liu's Head: And they're heat seeking cameras too. (The spider robots are drilling through the door and Kim thinks really quick.)

Kim: Heat seeking robots. (She jumps into the tub and submerges her entire body. The spider robots enter and they search the room. They scan Lucy Liu and Jennifer Garner's Heads. Cut to outside in the hallway and Scoop Chan has a scanner and checking it.)

Scoop Chan: I'm picking up two heads and a few rats making out, but I could've sworn the robots picked up the heat of a third person. Where are you, Ms. Possible? If I could get a picture of Hilary Duff's Head at last year's Big Spring Break Party, then this should be easy. (Kim is underwater and is holding her breath. The spider robots walk around the tub and scan the water, but they don't pick up Kim. Kim has been underwater for some time now and she can't hold her breath any longer. She let's out one breath causing a bubble of air to rise. Once it reaches the surfaces and the spider robots start beeping like crazy. Scoop Chan reaches to the bathing room.)

Scoop Chan: (Uses his remote scanner to program the spider robots.) Robots shoot the red head and I want doubles. (He races inside, but is disappointed to see that the spider robots are flashing Jennifer Garner's Head. Kim is on the ceiling of the room. She jumps down and knocks the remote from Scoop Chan. She smashes it and kicks Scoop Chan in the tub.)

Kim: Thanks for helping me.

Jennifer Garner's Head: Thanks for the autograph. (Cut later that evening and the NNYPD has arrived to the Head Museum to arrest the Paparazzi members.)

Url: Hey baby, when will you guys learn to stop prying into the lives of celebrities?

Paparazzi1: Never!

Smitty: Pipe down, punk. (Leela, Fry and Ron are outside and they look on.)

Leela: Where's Kim? (Kim they arrives and talks to the police.)

Kim: There's one more creep upstairs, Officer.

Url: Hey, you're that famous teenage spy. Where have you been?

Leela: I'm sorry Officer, but we need to take Ms Possible to a safe location. (Cut to down the street and we see a hover van. Inside are the four villains. Shego is videotaping Kim.)

Shego: So, what exactly is your plan?

Drakken: Simple, thanks to the history lesson Ironfinger here has given me it seems Kim Possible is a big time celebrity in this time.

Ironfinger: And by informing the public that she's back, she'll have to live the life trying to avoid being in the public eye like any other big star.

Shego: So, we send copies of this videotape to media.

Jinx: How did you come up with an idea like that?

Ironfinger: Because I'm an evil genius.

Drakken: As am I.

Jinx: So, what will that do?

Ironfinger: It will distract 014 and 1BDI into protecting her...

Drakken:...and thus it is easier for our plan.

Jinx: If you ask me, this seems way too weird to be a coincidence, all of us meeting.

Shego: I would agree, know that I think about it, how did you get that min-rocket, Drakken?

Drakken: What are you saying?

Shego: I don't remember stealing it for you or you building one in weeks prior.

Drakken: I just found it lying in my hideout, along with this business card for Applied Cryogenics. (Show's Shego that card with the motto written on it.) And I put two and two together and I was able to come up with my plan of ridding myself of Kim Possible.

Jinx: And you didn't even suspect anything wrong with that? Like who sent it to you?

Shego: There's a surprise and anyway we still have to deal with Kim Possible.

Drakken: It doesn't matter how we got here, what matters is that we deal with Kim Possible.

Ironfinger: And after we rid ourselves of the rest of the spies, we'll rule the world.

(Laughs and Drakken joins in.)

Jinx: Excuse me, geniuses. We need to fill up on fuel.

Ironfinger: To the nearest station.

 

To be continued

Buddies