Futurama

Fan Fiction

Death Clock Countdown, part 2
By JustNibblin'

               EXT. PLUSHTON V SURFACE, AFTERNOON                          SCENE 6  

               LEELA, AMY, and BENDER are being lowered by the crane to the
               planet's surface.  They are completely covered by green burka
               like suits, covering all features of their bodies, except for a
               mesh in front of their faces, permitting them to see through. 
               Stacks of pillows and lettuce are bundled up in ropes next to
               them.

               The lift hits the ground, which undulates softly on impact. 
               The sky is a hazy pink, punctuated by gentle clouds, and
               implanted with a bright orange sun.  The low-relief
               landscape is an off-white color and lumpy, and looks like
               cloud tops, or a pile of freshly-laundered towels. 
               Overall, the impression given by the planet is that of a
               typical fabric softener TV commercial.

                                LEELA
                      OK, everyone, we are in the restricted
                      landing zone, to prevent the Plushtonians
                      from seeing our ships.  So we have to
                      cover the ship with a cloak, and then
                      hike to the trading area.  Bender, we
                      need you to haul these heavy loads.

                                BENDER
                      Less exposition, more action!

               He hefts the pillow bundles onto his back, as the rest of
               the crew plants cloaking beacons around the ship's
               perimeter.

                                LEELA
                          (to BENDER)
                      Be careful not to expose any part of your
                      metal frame.  The Plushtonians have never
                      seen a robot, or a human for that matter,
                      and we're not going to be the first ones
                      to make history here.  Let's go.

                                                                 SCENE 7

               EXT. PLUSHTONIAN FARM, 15 MINUTES LATER

               The three crew members arrive at the rendezvous site, a 10
               meter ridge overlooking a large plain to the north. 
               Arranged at regular intervals on this plain are red piles,
               about the size of haystacks.  Groups of PLUSHTONIANS are
               peeling red material off the ground and tossing them into
               the red piles.  To the west of the field the landscape
               begins to show some additional relief.  Cris-crossing this
               landscape is a wall of pillows, looking like a pillow-fort
               version of the Great Wall of China.  The wall extends from
               the horizon up to the ridge the crew is currently standing
               upon, and ends in a ragged pile of pillows about 15 meters
               high.

               To the east the sky has turned a deep, threatening pink (if
               pink can ever be considered threatening).

               Two PLUSHTONIANS wait next to the incomplete portion of the
               wall.  They look like a cross between Mr. Potato Head and a
               roll of two-ply toilet paper.  They stand at about a third
               of the height of LEELA.

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      Gentle greetings and everlasting ease to
                      you, fearless voyagers from beyond the
                      Plush!  Welcome to our most sacred and
                      important landmark--the Cushie Pushy!

               Although not visible behind her burka, LEELA is clearly not
               at "everlasting ease".  Her stance radiates suppressed
               tension, and a readiness to swing into desperate action at
               any moment.

                                LEELA
                      Thank you.  It is our pleasure to serve
                      the needs of your people.

                                AMY
                      Umm, if we might ask, what do you need
                      the pillows for?

                                PLUSHTONIAN #2
                      Your pill-lows, as you call them, are the
                      most amazing building material we've come
                      across.  We simply soak them in mucas and
                      glue them together to make tremendously
                      strong structures. So strong, yet so
                      portable!  We are using them to finish
                      building our Pushy wall against the
                      terrible Cushie that raids our farms!  

                                LEELA
                      What exactly is a Cushie?

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                          (shudders)
                      A horrible predator that has no
                      hesitation in consuming us or our crops! 
                      Its teeth are the hardest objects in the
                      universe.

                                AMY
                      What are your crops anyway?

                                PLUSHTONIAN #2
                      Our "cash crop," as you say, is a divine
                      material that is much valued by the elite
                      of our planet for its fine feel and
                      smooth touch, and I understand your elite
                      feels the same way.  In your language you
                      call it "velour"?

                                LEELA
                          (even more alertly)
                      Velour?  

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      Yes, in fact I believe our biggest
                      customer from your DOOP is arriving today
                      to pick up a supply. These pill-lows are
                      part of the payment for his order.

                                LEELA
                      Best customer of velour?  From DOPP?
                          (realization dawning)
                      Oh no.  We need to leave, everyone. 
                      Right now.

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN (O.S.)
                      Do I hear the dual-set tones from the
                      swan-like throat of my lovely and
                      luscious Leela?

               ZAPP BRANIGAN, KIF, and five other SHUTTLE CREWMEMBERS
               appear over the ridge.  All are covered with stylish
               military burkas.  ZAPP and KIF are easily distinguishable
               through their posture.

                                AMY
                          (recognizing KIF's slouched
                           posture)
                      Kiffie!

                                KIF KROKER
                      Hello, my sweet.

                                AMY
                      Don't you look so handsome in your burka!

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      Burka?

                                LEELA
                          (warningly)
                      Watch it, Amy...

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      I'm sorry, dear, but business before
                      exquesate pleasure.
                          (to PLUSHTONIANS)
                      Peace and greetings to the rulers of
                      Plushton V!  I am Captain Zapp Brannigan,
                      here to claim my year's supply of velour. 
                      I have brought several aides to carry the
                      supplies for me.

                                PLUSHTONIAN #2
                          (squealing in pleasure)
                      The First Contact!  We are honored to be
                      in your presence, sir!  But we must hurry
                      -a terrible storm is approaching and we
                      must make arrangements!

               An horn wails in the distance.

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      Too late--we have the storm approaching! 
                      Hurry everyone, we must find shelter
                      among the pill-lows!

               The Planet Express and Nimbus crews quickly assemble
               several pillow forts and crawl inside.  Somehow, LEELA ends
               up with ZAPP and the PLUSHTONIANS.

               A gentle breeze and a light rain begin.

                                PLUSHTONIAN #2
                          (trembling)
                      Such a storm.  I have only heard of such
                      from our ancients!

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      But what is this coming up the hill
                      toward us?

                                PLUSHTONIAN #2
                      The cushie!

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      No, this creature is on two legs, but
                      doesn't have the loose skin that our good
                      friends here have.  Also, the material on
                      its head is the color of our sun.

               LEELA has been too busy fending off ZAPP's advances to look
               outside the pillow fort, but these last words capture her
               attention.  The rain haze has started to clear, and within
               moments the sky is clear again.  

               Now clearly visible walking up the ridge, FRY carries the
               death clock camera slung over his back.  He looks pale and
               out of breath.

                                PLUSHTONIAN #2
                      I have never seen a voyager like this. 
                      And it walked through the storm like it
                      was not troubled at all!

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      And what is it carrying that gleams so in
                      the sunlight?

                                LEELA
                          (grimly)
                      I am familiar with this entity.  Please
                      let me talk with it alone for a moment.

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      Please get it out of here.  And remember,
                      Brannigan's wrath is like Brannigan's
                      love--

                                LEELA
                      Yeah, Yeah, hard and fast--

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      Actually, I was going to say hot and
                      cleansing, but I like that better!

               As she scrambles out of the pillow fort, AMY and BENDER
               emerge from the other forts.  They all converge on FRY, who
               smiles, pleased to see them.

                                FRY
                      Oh good!  Here, there's something you
                      should see...

                                LEELA
                      Fry, what in the world are you doing
                      here!  I told you to remain in the ship,
                      in your cabin!

                                FRY
                          (guiltily)
                      Well, I decided to hang out on the bridge
                      a little bit, and then I saw Zapp, Kiff,
                      and their crew, and I thought I would
                      come and tell you..

                                LEELA
                      We've figured out they're here by
                      ourselves.  But you need to leave now! 
                      You have no burka and you're threatening
                      the mission!

                                FRY
                      But wait!  I looked at them before they
                      put on their tent things, and the not
                      Zapp and Kif guys--well, guess what?

                                LEELA
                      Fry. Go. Now.

                                FRY
                      They were wearing red shirts!  And I
                      remembered from my Star Trek that red
                      shirt guys on planets always die!  So I
                      turned on the camera, checked it out, and
                      thought you would want to see this, since
                      proving the camera works was bothering
                      you and all--

                                LEELA
                      Fry, you have endangered yourself, me,
                      our mission, and this planet's culture
                      for the dumbest reasons--Why didn't you
                      radio me?

                                FRY
                      I tried--I pressed the little button
                      thingie with the picture of the
                      microphone next to it, but couldn't
                      contact you.  So I came out.

                                LEELA
                          (rolling eye behind burka)
                      Fry, how many times do I have to tell
                      you!  That was the karaoke button!  But
                      never mind--take the camera and go back
                      to the ship NOW!

                                FRY
                      But the red shirts...

                                LEELA
                      Red shirts do not cause death!  Look at
                      your red jacket!  How many times have you
                      worn that thing on our deliveries?

               FRY looks puzzled for a moment, but his expression quickly
               changes to one of stark terror.  He slips off the camera
               strap and rips off his jacket.  The butter knife in his
               pocket falls out and implants into the ground, gleaming
               brightly in the orange sun.

                                AMY
                      Leela, aren't you overacting a little
                      bit? I mean, we just shook off the
                      biggest storm on this planet!  What's the
                      worst that can happen?

                                                                 SCENE 8

               EXT-PLUSHTON WALL-ONE HOUR LATER

               A large crowd of PLUSHTONIANS stand on the Pushy Cushie
               Wall, looking down at the lone figure of FRY standing with
               his back to the wall, facing the uneven terrain of the
               western horizon.  What appears to be a cave entrance is
               visible 200 m away, at the summit of a low-lying hill.  The
               remains of what seems to be toilet paper are scattered
               around the opening.

               LEELA, AMY, BENDER, ZAPP, KIF, and the rest of the
               REDSHIRTS are also on the top of the wall, staring at FRY. 
               They are all still wearing burkas.

                                PLUSHTONIAN ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
                      Fellow survivors of the Cushie menace! 
                      Today we witness a turning point in our
                      history!  Our friends from beyond the
                      Plush have surprised us with a great gift
                      -one of their greatest warriors, built
                      out of special materials collected from
                      across the beyond! 

               The PLUSHTONIANS roar their approval.  LEELA looks over at
               AMY, who is working on the camera.

                                LEELA
                      Anything yet?

                                AMY
                      Fry's death date is jumping all over the
                      place.

                                PLUSHTONIAN ANNOUNCER  (O.S.)
                      And not only that!  Their warrior brings
                      a weapon that lies beyond our poor
                      ability to comprehend!  The weapon that
                      will kill our greatest enemy!  Behold,
                      the Bu-tear Nife!

               A hushed, respectful silence falls over the crowd as they
               stare at the butter knife clenched in FRY's hand.  LEELA
               stares at FRY with a painful intensity, squeezing the
               pillow in front of her.

                                LEELA
                      Bender, are you picking up anything on
                      your scans?

                                BENDER
                      Nothing.  No money in sight.
                          (quickly)
                      Nothing else either.

                                LEELA
                      I thought that fobbing Fry off as a
                      different species would sate their
                      curiosity, but damn that butter knife!

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      Once again your mind is as pliant and
                      flexible as the rest of you, Leela.  But
                      being a captain means having the
                      cajoanays to make the tough calls, to
                      make the sacrifices needed.  Once the
                      Plushtonians saw the knife, we were at
                      real risk of exposing everyone and
                      damaging their culture further.  Not to
                      mention risking the loss of a perfectly
                      good supply of velour.  One of your few
                      weaknesses, my voluptuous vixen, is that
                      you are too attached to your crew,
                      particularly expendables like your
                      delivery boy down there.

               AMY has been fiddling with the camera, pointing it toward
               the SHUTTLE CREW.

                                AMY
                      Chung goa!  Fry was right!  These guys
                      have only have 17 minutes left!  How
                      terrible!
                          (swivels camera to KIF)
                      At least Kiffie seems to be OK for now.

               LEELA leans over, swivels the camera to ZAPP, and reads the
               display.

                                LEELA
                      Damn!

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      I know, I do look good on camera, don't
                      I?
                          (turning to his men)
                      As for my velour, go back to the shuttle
                      and depart for the Nimbus with the cargo. 
                      I want you in the air in, say, 17
                      minutes.

               AMY and LEELA exchange a look, as the SHUTTLE CREW departs.

                                KIF KROKER
                      What are we going to do, sir?

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN 
                          (smugly)
                      I need to see this ceremony out, but I'm
                      sure the comely Captain Leela will give
                      me a ride back to the ship.
                          (smirking)
                      And maybe even a ride in the ship, if you
                      know what I mean?  Kif, go catch up with
                      those men and help spread that rumor.

                                AMY
                      No!  It can't be true!
                          (rechecking camera)
                      He can't go with them!

                                KIF KROKER
                      Amy, I'm touched that my leaving means so
                      much to you, but--

                                LEELA
                      Zapp is coming on my ship over my dead--

                                AMY
                      Please, Leela!  Don't you see?

                                PLUSHTONIAN ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
                      We have now confirmed that the Cushie is
                      coming from its den to the surface!

               LEELA is distracted by FRY's situation and begins to move
               away, but AMY clings to her anxiously.

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      Your pleas have not fallen on a deaf
                      heart.  But Kif has a job to do, as do I. 
                      And we cannot let attractive feminine
                      pleading stop us.  Although attractive
                      feminine cleavage can be much more
                      persuasive.

               A hush suddenly falls over the crowd.  LEELA grabs the
               camera from AMY.

                                AMY
                      But, but, Kif needs to stay because....
                          (slyly)
                      You know Leela is madly in love with you?

                                LEELA
                          (focusing camera on FRY)
                      What did you say?

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      This is hardly news to me.  Clearly, the
                      more a woman says "no" to a man, the more
                      attracted she must be to him.  By that
                      standard, Leela must be nearly sick with
                      longing for my presence.

               Something emerges from the tunnel.  A CUSHIE crawls out
               onto the surface.  It is a small thing, not much larger
               than the PLUSHTONIANS, with a tuft of wiggling worm-like
               tendrils on top of its head.  It has no nose, but a single
               nostril opening centered on its face, which it uses to
               sniff the air.  In the direction of Fry, it bares tiny,
               needle-like teeth.

                                BENDER
                      Oh good, teeth!  This will tilt the odds
                      even more in my favor.

               He passes a pillow behind his back to a few shifty-looking
               PLUSHTONIANS.

                                AMY
                          (to ZAPP)
                      Well, yes...she is longing for you, and
                      she's been wanting to say it for some
                      time, but you're such an intimidating,
                      manly, figure...well, can't you see she
                      would be more comfortable, more..
                      receptive... if some others were to come
                      along with you on board the shuttle?

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      I understand the intimidating part, but
                      my charm will take care of that.
                          (to KIF)
                      Kif, depart for the shuttle now!

               FRY looks a bit relieved at the appearance of the CUSHIE.
               He turns and smiles up toward LEELA, who has been staring
               at the camera display, which has suddenly stabilized at a
               number.

                                LEELA
                      Oh no!
                          (to AMY)
                      I don't have time for this psychology
                      crap!

               She grabs ZAPP by the lapels and gives him a deep kiss. 
               FRY looks stunned.

                                LEELA (CONT'D)
                      If Kif comes with you on the shuttle,
                      I'll give you another one.

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      Kif, remain here with me!

                                LEELA
                          (shouting to FRY)
                      Fry, stay as far away from that thing as
                      you can!

               FRY snaps his head back toward the CUSHIE, which is
               lumbering slowly toward him.  Over the next few minutes Fry
               and the CUSHIE play a slow-motion game of tag, circling
               around the cave entrance.

               PLUSHOTONIAN #1 leans over toward ZAPP.

                                PLUSHTONIAN #1
                      Your warrior is quite impressive.  Look
                      at how carefully he scouts the danger,
                      biding his time.  He has already lasted
                      longer than any other combatant--may
                      their remains rest in piece.

               He nods toward the toilet paper-like material scattered
               around the cave opening.

                                FRY
                      Nice alien!  Good alien!

                                LEELA
                      Fry, get over here towards the wall!  I
                      need you to bring that thing closer!

               Surreptitiously, she pulls out her laser pistol.  FRY
               hurries toward the wall.  The CUSHIE breaks out onto a run,
               and so does FRY.

               FRY reaches the walls and starts clambering up the pillows. 
               He reaches the top edge just as the CUSHIE arrives at the
               base.  The PLUSHTONIANS scatter from the point where FRY is
               clinging, while LEELA and the other off-worlders converge
               on his location.

               The CUSHIE looks at FRY hanging approximately 15 m above
               it, and pauses for a moment.  Then it bites deeply into the
               soft ground.  It appears to be sucking in fluid, and it
               begins to swell.  Within moments it is half the height of
               the wall.  A tendril from the top of its head suddenly
               whips out and wraps around FRY's ankle.

               FRY plunges his butter knife into one of the pillows, which
               is anchored to the others.  The CUSHIE tries to tug FRY off
               the wall, growing larger all the time.  Finally, it stops
               biting the ground, and rears up, revealing teeth that are
               now as large as daggers.  It's head is now only about 3 m
               below Fry.

               LEELA reaches Fry just as the tendril gives a final tug,
               ripping Fry's knife through the pillow.  LEELA grabs FRY's
               wrist, kicks her feet deeply into pillows underneath her,
               and hangs on.

                                LEELA (CONT'D)
                      No. Not yet.

                 BENDER grabs FRY's wrist as well.  

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      Here, let me assist.

               He steps behind LEELA and wraps his arms around her chest.

                                PLUSHTONIAN #2
                      No, don't do this!  The wall, we're going
                      to lose the wall!

               LEELA, enraged, elbows Zapp in the face.  Unfortunately
               this loosens her hold, and she and BENDER loose the grip on
               FRY.  Like a rubber band snapping back into place, FRY
               shoots back and lands on top of the CUSHIE's head,
               surrounded on all sides by tendrils.

               A great cheer escapes from the PLUSHTONIANS on either side
               of the wall.  Desperately, FRY pushes the knife into the
               top of the CUSHIE's soft head.  Surprised by the unfamiliar
               pain, the predator roars in protest.

               On the horizon, a shuttle launches, although its cloaking
               device only makes the exhaust plume visible.  It begins to
               arc so that its flight path passes over the wall.

               Several tendrils grab Fry and start to drag him down the
               animal's face toward the mouth, the butter knife leaving a
               jagged scar on the animal's face.  As he slides over the
               nostril, LEELA finally sheds ZAPP, turns her back on the
               nearby PLUSHTONIANs, and fires the pistol several times.

               The beams slice through the tendrils, releasing FRY. He
               splays his hands and legs against the nostril edges. 
               Framed by the darkness of the nostril, he stares down into
               the nasal passage.

                                FRY
                      Wait-thought I had a thought there.

               More tendrils snake toward FRY.

                                BENDER
                      Olive! Fry! Be the olive!

               Fry stabs his butter knife into the interior of the nostril
               and uses the hold to slide in.  The tendrils follow, giving
               the CUSHIE the appearance of trying to pick its nose. 
               LEELA keeps shooting the tendrils away from it nostril. 
               Stung by the beams, the CUSHIE switches its attention to
               the top of the wall.

               Tendrils shoot over the wall, latching onto LEELA, KIF, and
               BENDER.  They are lifted over the wall and dangle,
               suspended, in front of the CUSHIE's face.

               As the shuttle passes overhead, one of its engines
               explodes.  The shuttle corkscrews into a downward spiral
               toward the velour fields to the west.

               Suddenly the CUSHIE begins to choke.  Distracted, it drops
               its victims and begins to stumble around.  Within moments,
               it drops to its knees, and then, a few moments later, falls
               flat onto the ground.  A mucas-covered FRY gingerly crawls
               out of the animal's mouth.

                                FRY
                      Huh, the throat and nose are connected in
                      this guy, too.

               He smiles at LEELA.

                                FRY (CONT'D)
                      Not dead yet.

               He raises his arm, butter knife in fist.  The PLUSHTONIANS
               erupt into a rousing cheer just as the shuttle impacts the
               ground near the horizon.  A huge cloud of red shoots into
               the air near the impact zone, and an enormous ground roll
               speeds toward the Pushy wall like a tsunami.

               The ground roll hits the wall, destroying it and tossing
               PLUSHTONIANS, ZAPP, and AMY high into the air. 
               Fortunately, landing on the surface is like landing on a
               waterbed.  The wave also tosses the CUSHIE and the rest of
               the crew into the air, where they land close to the CUSHIE
               tunnel.  By bad luck LEELA lands on top of the CUSHIE,
               injuring her ankle, and entangling herself in the tendrils.

               The red cloud is streaking closer, resolving itself into a
               massive airborne supply of velour.  Clumps of the material
               start plopping onto the ground.

                                KIF KROKER
                      Hurry, everyone!  Into the tunnel before
                      we're smothered!

                                ZAPP BRANNIGAN
                      Death by velour!  There could be worse
                      ways to go.

               Everyone starts to run for it, but FRY turns around and
               sees LEELA.

                                LEELA
                      Go Fry, go!  That's an order! I'll be OK!

               She turns to look at a massive wall of velour descending
               upon them.

                                LEELA (CONT'D)
                      Not like this. Not like this.

               Her laser cuts through the tendrils, and she somersaults
               off the head onto the ground, gasping in pain as her ankle
               twists again.  Balancing on one leg, she stands up, only to
               find FRY next to her.

                                LEELA (CONT'D)
                          (angrily)
                      Fry, today is not my death day.  It's
                      yours. Go!

               Ignoring her, Fry ineffectively tries to pull her toward
               the Cushie entrance, where the others are peering anxiously
               out of the opening. 

                                LEELA (CONT'D)
                      There's no time!  Quick, in here!

               Grabbing Fry by the wrist, she hops toward the CUSHIE, with
               its head lying on its side, mouth half open.  Leela tries
               to push Fry through the teeth inside the mouth, but Fry
               holds back stubbornly.

                                FRY
                      No, you first!

               LEELA starts to protest, but there isn't time.  She
               squeezes herself between the teeth, and sticks her arm back
               out.  FRY grabs the arm and with a final heave LEELA pulls
               FRY into the mouth with her, just as the wave of velour
               smashes into the pillow wall, the CUSHIE, and everything
               else.

                                                          FADE TO BLACK.

               INT-PLANET EXPRESS SHIP BRIDGE--EVENING - SCENE 9

               LEELA, AMY, FRY, and BENDER sit around the bridge.  Through
               the cockpit window the NIMBUS shrinks away into the
               distance.

                                LEELA
                      Nimbus, this is PE Ship departing local
                      airspace. Over.

               KIF's image appears on the vidphone.

                                KIF KROKER (O.S.)
                      PE Ship, this is Nimbus.  Glad everyone
                      is safe.

                                LEELA
                      I want to apologize for all the headaches
                      we caused you.

                                KIF KROKER (O.S.)
                      No need, Leela, it could have ended much
                      worse than it did.  Fortunately,
                      Plushtonians don't die by suffocation, so
                      almost all of them were still alive when
                      the crew dug them out.  So now we only
                      have to deal with the cultural and trade
                      impacts.  We managed to gather most of
                      the wreckage of the shuttle, so if we can
                      keep the cultural contamination down to
                      silverware, we may be able to minimize
                      the effect.  And our trade position may
                      actually improve....

               The vidphone switches to scenes of what appears to be a
               bunch of PLUSHTONIANS toilet-papering a monument.

                                KIF KROKER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                        Even with the loss of their entire
                      crop, the Plushtonians feel that it's a
                      small price to pay for the defeat of the
                      Cushie.  Fry is quite the planetary hero
                      now.  Did you hear they've declared a
                      worldwide holiday and celebration in his
                      honor?

                                LEELA
                          (grimly)
                      Yes I did.

                                KIF KROKER
                      So with Fry's public endorsement of our
                      trade efforts, I wouldn't be surprised if
                      our negotiating position ends up better
                      than ever.
                          (pause)
                      And thank you, all of you, for keeping me
                      from going onto that shuttle.  We still
                      have no idea what happened to that
                      engine.  I can't help but sense you knew
                      what was coming.

                                LEELA
                      I'm glad our instincts were correct, Kif.  
                          (teasingly)
                      Amy would be intolerable without your
                      influence, so we're glad you're still
                      with us.  We're sorry about the rest of
                      the men.

                                KIF KROKER (O.S.)
                      Me too.  They were good men, and we seem
                      to be running out of red uniforms. 
                      Anyway, perhaps someday Amy will tell me
                      the complete story.  But perhaps I don't
                      want to know.  Kroker out.

               LEELA turns to BENDER.

                                LEELA
                      Can you fly the ship for a while?

                                BENDER
                      With my eyes closed. 

               He grabs the controls and a shutter slides down over his
               eyes.

                                FRY
                      Hey, I can fly the ship now, in fact I'm
                      gettin' pretty...

               He suddenly finds himself on the floor, with LEELA, on a
               crutch, towering over him.

                                LEELA
                      What the hell did you think you were
                      doing back there!

               FRY looks over to where he was sitting.  Scraps of paper
               with childish drawings lie on the floor next to his seat.

                                FRY
                      Well, I was trying to draw some pictures
                      so that I don't mix up the karaoke and
                      radio buttons.  I also think the
                      emergency eject button and the disco ball
                      display are a bit confusing as well.

                                LEELA
                      No, back on the planet. Here we are with
                      a sword hanging over our heads..
                          (FRY looks up nervously)
                      and you go off and disobey a direct
                      order, and put yourself and the rest of
                      the crew in jeopardy because you can't
                      remember the simplest instructions
                      Farnsworth gives us.  You irreversibly
                      interfere with another culture's
                      development, and I've had to kiss Zapp
                      twice--TWICE!, just so the DOOP won't
                      prosecute all of us for smashing his damn
                      non-interference directive, and wiping
                      out his velour supply! We're lucky we
                      even got the camera back from them!

               She points to the camera setup on the bridge, still
               battered but functional.

                                LEELA (CONT'D)
                      That's a very dangerous device, now that
                      we have proof it works.  I'm glad the
                      DOOP is still unaware of what it can do.

                                AMY
                      Fry did help save Kiffie...

                                LEELA
                      Kif was not destined to die today!  You
                      saw that yourself!

                                AMY
                      But the only reason Kiffie didn't die was
                      that Fry noticed the dates of the other
                      crewmen, and so we were able to alter
                      history...

                                LEELA
                      History wasn't altered!  It was all
                      supposed to happen!  That's why Kif was
                      never in danger!

                                FRY
                          (confused)
                      So is this still my fault, if it was
                      supposed to happen anyway?

               LEELA is not so sure herself, but blusters over it.

                                LEELA
                      That's not the point!  It's just that
                      today is so typical of you, Fry!  It was
                      sweet of you to try to help with the
                      camera, but you never think about the
                      consequences of your actions, and end up
                      endangering everyone. Nothing changes! 
                      And now we know that you are going to die
                      in two days--and yes, Fry, the display is
                      now very clear about that--and frankly,
                      I'm not surprised.  The only thing I'm
                      surprised about is that you haven't died
                      sooner, pulling stunts like this.  Why
                      are you acting like this, when you know
                      what that camera is predicting about your
                      future?  Are you even capable of
                      understanding what's coming? Don't you
                      care or think about your death at all?  

                                FRY
                      I care, I really do.  But I don't know
                      what I can do about it, and I don't know
                      how to explain why I'm not acting any
                      differently.  I need time to think. 

                                LEELA
                      Well, time is what you don't have.  If
                      you're serious about surviving, listen to
                      me.  Do exactly as I tell you over the
                      next few days.  No more attempted
                      heroics.  The clock says you are going to
                      die before me.  There is thus no point in
                      trying to risk yourself for me, because
                      the most likely outcome is that you'll
                      just end up killing yourself.

                                FRY
                      I was just trying to help...

                                LEELA
                      I know, Fry, but I want to ask you a
                      favor.  Don't do anything.  Doing
                      something makes you unpredictable, and it
                      will make it very hard for me to figure
                      out what is coming down on us. Why don't
                      you just go down to the bunk and lie low? 
                      Once we get back we'll just put you in
                      front of the TV and keep you out of
                      trouble.

               FRY looks at her as if he can't see her clearly.

                                FRY
                      I love doing nothing, it's true, but I
                      don't like being told to do nothing.
                      What's going on with you?  You haven't
                      talked to me like this since... well,
                      since I had that little situation with
                      the coffee machine and my laundry.

                                LEELA
                      Fry, go downstairs. Now.

                                FRY
                      No.

                                LEELA 
                          (dangerously)
                      What...did...you..just..say?

                                BENDER
                          (opening eyes)
                      OK, now it's getting interesting.

                                FRY
                      I said no.  And with your ankle like
                      that, it may even take you a few seconds
                      longer to force me down there.

               LEELA drops her crutch and hobbles up to FRY.  They stare
               at each other, trying to understand what is happening. 
               Then FRY leans his head back and laughs, leaving LEELA
               nonplussed.

                                FRY (CONT'D)
                      I guess I really must be scared to be
                      doing this!  Three things, Leela.  First,
                      I'll try not do anything dumb...or at

Buddies