Fan Fiction

The Wedding
By Superman

Morning at Planet Express.

Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! You'll be making a delivery to-

Leela [interrupting Farnsworth]: No way, forget it. I refuse to make any deliveries today. Today is my 28th birthday and I feel that I need a day off.

Farnsworth: Well, I guess that ends business for today. We have a birthday and we need to celebrate it.

Later, after the PE lounge has been decorated.

Leela: Bender, I thought you were supposed to make me a simple cake.

Bender: Do you remember what happened last time? I had already made the cake, I was getting ready to bring it out to you, and Nibbler came into the kitchen and ate the entire cake in less than five seconds.

Leela: Is that what made you mad enough to flush him down the toilet?

Bender: Yes, but I want to forget about that.

The doorbell rings. Fry answers it and a man who looks exactly like Zapp Brannigan is there.

Fry: Zapp? I never knew that Leela invited you to her birthday party, but come on in.

The man comes into the lounge, and Leela goes bezerk.

Leela: ZAPP??!! I never invited you to my birthday party!!!!

Man: Let me explain. I am Doug Brannigan, Zapp's twin brother.

Leela: How did you know that today was my birthday?

Doug: Zapp ordered his sidekick to search your trash. He got wind of the party and sent me in his place. He didn't want you to kick him out of the party.

Leela: I just hope that he isn't lurking around here, waiting to get me when I least expect it.

Doug: Not at all. He's back in his starship, doing something else.

After the party. Leela has gotten to know Doug.

Leela [to Doug]: I'm just glad that you're not a pompous idiot like your brother is.

Doug: Hey, do you want to go on a date tonight?

Leela: Yes.

Soon after, Leela and Doug start dating like maniacs.

Text on screen: Six months later. Leela has fallen in love with Doug.

Leela: Are you sure your moron brother won't find out about our love?

Doug: Yes. Meanwhile, I've got a very special question for you. [He takes out the most beautiful ring that Leela has ever seen.] Leela, will you marry me?

Leela: Yes, I will!!

Doug starts laughing.

Leela: What is so funny?

Doug: I am not Doug Brannigan and I am not Zapp's twin brother!!!!

Leela [shocked]: Who are you??!!!!

Doug: Zapp Brannigan!!!! I now know that you have finally fallen in love with me!!!!

Leela: NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Why were you doing all of this??!!!! You were trying to turn one night with me into 365 nights with me, right??!!!!

Zapp: Yes!!!!

Leela: I refuse to marry a pompous idiot like you!!!!

Zapp: It's too late for that, lover. I've already put the ring on you. It won't come off until we are parted by death.


She runs to the PE building.

Fry: Leela, why are you huffing and puffing?

Leela: Doug just spilled the beans!!!!!!

Bender: What do you mean??

Leela: He proposed to me and I said yes!!!!

Fry: Whoooooaaaaaa!!!!

Bender: Do I hear wedding bells??

Leela: That's only half of the story!!!! He told me that he was really Zapp Brannigan after he put the ring on me!!

Bender: Oh....my....God!!!

Fry: Do you want to talk to the Professor about this?

Leela: Yes.

Later, as Leela is talking to Farnsworth.

Leela: Professor, can't you do anything to get me out of marrying Zapp? I never loved that pompous buffon. He's just trying to get me to spend the rest of my life with him.

Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Leela, but I don't know what can save you.

Leela: Then I'll have to marry him after all?

Farnsworth: Until I can think of something, I'm afraid so.

Leela: NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[commercial break]

At the meeting table. Leela is crying just as much as she did in "I Second That Emotion," after Bender flushed Nibbler down the toilet.

Fry: Professor, are you sure that you don't have any machines that could save her?

Farnsworth: I might have some machines that could save her, but I'm not sure which ones. [To Fry and Bender] You can go ahead and look through my machines.

Leela [in tears]: Please bring good news. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a pompous idiot whom I never loved.

Later, as Bender and Fry are searching through Farnsworth's inventions.

Fry: Bender, I need your help. I think that I found a machine that can save Leela.

Bender: Really?

A few minutes later. Bender and Fry have just finished pulling a cloning machine into Farnsworth's lab.

Fry: Leela, I think that this machine is the solution to your problem.

Leela: I don't know how a cloning machine can save me.

Bender: You could clone yourself and have your clone marry Zapp.

Leela: Yessss!!!!

Later, after the process has finished. Leela's clone [known as Leela #2 from now on] has just come out of the machine.

Leela: It worked!!

Leela #2: What worked?

Leela: My plan to get out of marrying a pompous idiot. The plan is to have you marry that man in my place. His name is Zapp Brannigan.

The Nimbus. Zapp has ordered Kif to decorate a room.

Kif: Will I ever see my wedding day, sir?

Zapp: Probably not, since you will be my servant for the rest of your life.

Kif groans.

Back at the PE building. Leela has just finished a lecture to her clone about Zapp.

Leela #2: So basically, the man you want me to marry is a starship captain?

Leela: Yes.

Leela: Why is he after you?

Bender: She slept with him the first time they met.

Leela groans.

[commercial break]

Wedding day. The room in the Nimbus is ready when the PES arrives.

Leela: The plan is simple. I will stay here while the wedding proceeds. When the service is over, come to the ship and we will take off.

Leela #2 is in the room when she meets Zapp.

Zapp: How happy I am to see you, my lady and wife.

At the celebration. The robotic preacher is standing near the altar. The music starts playing as the candles are lit and the bridesmaids come in with flowers. The wedding march starts playing and Leela #2 comes into the room, clad in a wedding dress, and Fry holding her hand. The music stops when Leela #2 gives her hand to Zapp.

RoboPreacher: Does anyone have a reason why this couple should not be married? [No objections, so he goes on.] Zapp Brannigan, do you take Leela to be you lawful wedded wife for better or for worse, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?

Zapp: I do.

RoboPreacher: Leela, can you accept Zapp Brannigan as a husband?

Leela #2: Yes.

RoboPreacher: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss.

Zapp kisses Leela #2 and the couple run down the aisle. At the reception, Fry and Bender sneak out of the room and head for the PES.

Leela: How was it?

Fry: It was a stunning success.

Leela [excited]: Yessss!!!! Now I won't have to worry about that pompous dimwit bothering me anymore!!

Bender: Unless we might have to deliver a package to him.

Leela: Well, we know what to do if that happens.

The PES flies off into space as credits begin to roll.