Going Insane 6 - Children of the Gods
[Our two favourite lovers are just waking up after three days of love, lust,
and getting down. FRY awakens after a nice long nap on the fourth day to find
his true love in a most precarious position.]
FRY: Hey beautiful, time to wake up.
LEELA: Wha? Oh man, what happened? Where are you?
[We zoom out t see LEELA half covered by the sheets, naked, sprawled out on
the bed with the book of dark bedroom arts over her face.]
LEELA: Man that was insane.
FRY: Alright, I think we can stop doing it now.
LEELA: I need to ask the professor about this wine he gave us.
FRY: How long has it been?
LEELA: Like three days. I need a rest.
FRY: Oh man, I could really go for some sleep too.
LEELA: What are you talking about you slept plenty.
FRY: Not really, except for when I passed out a few times.
LEELA: It was good though right. I liked it.
FRY: I really liked it. I am going to take a shower.
LEELA: Me too, but we are not doing any of that though.
FRY: Yeah, I have had enough.
[The two go into separate bathrooms, but FRY gets a pleasant surprise.]
LEELA: Need a back rub?
FRY: If you want to.
LEELA: Alright lets go.
[After a nice long while the sparkling clean couple get dressed and go to the
planet express office in Frys new car.]
LEELA: You know Phillip, I have been thinking, and there is something I just
have to get off my chest.
LEELA: Well, you know how we always called each other Leela and Fry. Well,
I just think we should go back to doing that.
FRY: Well I have no problem with that, but why?
LEELA: Well, um, I guess that I just like Leea better. I mean that I just,
well, think that it is more beautiful sounding than Toronga, besides I never really
liked that name.
FRY: Yeah, and I never liked Phillip either. So if you want to I have no problem.
LEELA: Thanks Fry, I knew you would understand.
FRY: Dont worry, Leela, I will always support you, even if I dont
[Not too long later they arrive at the Planet Express office and walk into
the office, a bit more rushed than usual, when they are stopped by Hermes.]
HERMES: Where have you two been? It has been about four days.
LEELA: Uh, we have to ask the professor about his wedding gift.
FRY: Yeah, see you at the meeting.
HERMES: Eh. Yes sure, I will see you then.
[They go into the professors lab.]
Farnsworth: What is it?
FRY: What did you put in that wine you sent us at our home?
Farnsworth: Oh, you found it, did you like it?
LEELA: You can say we had fun.
Farnsworth: Yes, a strong concoction I made for myself, it however had no effect.
How much wine did you two have?
FRY: Just a half a glass.
Farnsworth: Oh my! no wonder why you two were gone for three days.
LEELA: Uh, how long does it last I mean expiration wise?
Farnsworth: Indefinitely I suppose why?
LEELA: Just wondering how long we have until it goes bad.
FRY (Whispering to LEELA): Hope it holds for a long time
LEELA (whispering back): Me too.
[The two go into the conference room]
FRY: Hey, I have called this meeting to tell you all to go do nothing around
here and that you will still be paid.
Farnsworth: Good news everyone! I have created some new devices from what you
all got off that strange alien world.
Farnsworth: This here, look upon it all and fear me!
[He pushes a button and the entire back wall unfolds to reveal a huge rack
of staff weapons, hand devices, healing devices, hand weapons and more, including
the regular earth projectile weapons.]
LEELA: AHHH!!! Not him!!!
Farnsworth: What are you babbling about now.
FRY: Um we had a bad experience with the creator of that stuff. He called himself
Ra. I never downloaded much on history, but I think I know him from a movie I
saw once, just cant think of what it was.
Farnsworth: Well I have no idea.
FRY: Well I am going to watch Television, who is with me?
[All raise hands]
FRY: Good, lets go.
[FRY begins to flip through the cannels until be comes across an advertisement
he never saw before.]
AD: Only for 9.95 you can see every episode from the beginning. Every episode
of Stargate Sg-1 masterfully put back together from DVD records in exact order.
This will play until every episode airs, hope you have your recorders on. And
it all starts in just ten minutes.
FRY: Awesome! I remember this show! It was way better than star trek or star
AMY: And there are no laws against it.
BENDER: I hate this show, what the hell else is on?
LEELA: Bender, respect what FRY wants. He has the right to watch what he wants.
I mean he owns everything here, that means you too.
BENDER: Oh man, this sucks.
[Just then it stars raining hard outside and water is leaking in through many
holes in the roof.]
AMY: I had better go take care of the leeks.
FRY: Good idea, be careful. Bender you go too.
[The two go outside and we hear a huge thunder clap.]
LEELA: Wow that was close, I hope Amy is ok.
[Just then we hear a clang of metal and a form fall lifeless outside of the
window. A figure then comes in through the door.]
BENDER: Man that felt good, guess I can stand to watch that stupid marathon
FRY: Where is Amy, the leaks stopped.
[Just then another figure comes in.]
AMY: Bender, lightning, metal, burning flesh. Ouch.
[She then collapses and everyone panics.]
LEELA: Get her to the infirmary!
[In the infirmary Zoidberg heals her with one of the devices the professor
ZOIDBURG: The little one will be alright, but I am afraid I could not save
her ink gland.
AMY: I dont have one of those.
LEELA: You suck Zoidberg!
[Zoidberg looks down at the ground like usual when he is insulted, when Fry
gets off the phone and steps over to the group.]
FRY: Well I just got off the phone, we have the marathon, and just five minutes
before it starts, lets go watch it on the TV.
[They all go to the Lounge and find the Television there, just then there is
a loud clap of thunder and the television explodes.]
LEELA: Well so much for that.
Farnsworth: I still have something that can help.
FRY: What? TELL ME!!!
Farnsworth: I have modified the net-suits to show us all three dimensional
television. I was saving it for tomorrows new invention.
AMY: Hey that is great! Now we can really get up close to the action.
FRY: Hurry! Just two minutes left.
[They all put on their net-suits including the professor, and are soon in TV
land. (I mean everybody, that includes scruffy and Cubert.)]
LEELA: Shouldnt you be on the outside in case something goes wrong professor?
Farnsworth: Oh my no, I have the system on a timer. We will be released when
the marathon ends.
AMY: That will take like a few days!
Farnsworth: Oh good thing these suits have diapers and food IVs.
FRY: Alright, quiet, it is starting.
[Just then lightning strikes and warnings messages are displayed all over on
the equipment. One reads: OVERLOAD, Prolonged use may cause vivid group hallucinations.]
[SEVERAL DAYS LATER]
AMY: No more television.
FRY: That was so cool! I never thought Anubus would ever be defeated like that.
Farnsworth: That stargate was a most impressive device. It only takes some
of that mineral I received to make one too.
LEELA: It is just a show professor.
FRY: It may be, but ONeil was so cool!
HERMES: I like that Tealc, we all know he is the most sane of them all.
AMY: I like Carter.
Farnsworth: That general is someone I would have liked to be.
ZOIDBERG: That Doctor Frasier is most qualified. Like me.
[All glare a nasty look at zoidberg.]
AMY: Right, who do you relate with the most LEELA?
LEELA: Um well it is hard to say. I would have to say that I like Share
FRY: Why her?
LEELA: Because she is the loving wife of Colonel ONeil.
FRY: Oh I see. Well time to go home. I need some sleep.
(A note to all those who would scorn me for the grave mistake in plot as it
relates to the real Stargate SG1, Daniel Jackson is the real husband of share,
the problem is that there are not enough futurama characters to do the real thing,
so I had to improvise.)
LEELA: Yeah, lets go.
[They all go home. We see them in their usual beds, but all are having nightmares.
Leela wakes up with a start.]
LEELA: Ahhhh!!! I Dont Want to be your QUEEN!!!
FRY: What are you talking about?
LEELA: I just had the most vivid nightmare, you were there and I was taken
away, then this snake thing was wrapped around my neck, and then I was taken over
by an evil being. It was horrible.
FRY: I had a dream kinda like that too. I was in front of this ring filled
with shimmering blue water, I stepped through, and the next thing I know I am
in a huge fire fight with a bunch of soldiers dressed in shiny armour and helmets
shaped like snakes.
LEELA: We had better ask the professor about his 3D television suits tomorrow.
FRY: So, you really relate with Share?
LEELA: Kinda, Amy already took carter, and I dont like Frasier.
FRY: Well good night then.
LEELA: Good night.
[The next day all are at the conference table bright and early, except for
some of the key players, namely hermes and bender, but the rest of the gang is
AMY: Did you all have some strange dreams last night?
FRY: Yeah, I was this guy and I was killing a whole load of serpent soldiers.
LEELA: I thought I was a woman who was taken against her will to be some evil
guy in golds new queen.
FRY: I wonder if anyone else had nightmares, speaking of them, where are they?
AMY: I havent seen anyone all this morning except for the professor.
FARNSWORTH: Good news everyone! Look what I made when I started to phase in
and out of consciousness last night after using FRYs time distortion device.
[He pulls a tarp weakly and a huge grey ring is seen with a bunch of symbols
and such on it, everyone looks in aw.]
FRY: Hey isnt that the stargate from the show?
FARNSWORTH: Why I suppose it is. It probably doesnt work though. Oh well
I am off to my lab to sort though some things.
LEELA: So we still have a long while before the meeting starts. What should
we do Mr. CEO?
FRY: Poker anyone?
AMY: Sure, that should be fun.
[FRY pulls out some cards and poker chips from under the table and they all
begin to play.]
FRY: Oh, man, this hand's as lousy as this detail. All right, everybody in
[Chips are tossed into the center. The camera closes in on the table, moving
into an overhead shot, looking straight down at the card game.]
LEELA: Alright, showem
AMY: Seven to the deuce, nothin' there... boss on the eight, nothing happening...
queen to the king, possible straight goin' there... eight on the eight, and the
jack gets a box. Eight's open.
LEELA: Alright, you strip.
LEELA: I say we raise the stakes a bit in this game.
FRY: Aren't you guys afraid of an someone coming over here or something?
LEELA: We still have a lot of time before anyone ever comes in here.
[Behind the tarp, something stirs ever so slightly. LEELA notices, and starts
LEELA: Is that thing supposed to do that?
FRY: Do what?
AMY: Whatever it does it probably just cost a whole lot of money.
FRY: Knowing the professor that would most likely be the case.
[Again, something shifts beneath the tarp, the movement more noticeable than
before. LEELA is the only one to notice, however.]
LEELA: I am telling you that thing is moving!
AMY: If you dont have very good cards just fold and get it over with.
[Instead of answering LEELA just gets up and walks over to the gate.]
FRY: Is that a fold?
AMY: Just finish the deal and count her out.
[As the LEELA gets halfway up the ramp, the Gate creaks somewhat. She takes
two more steps, and suddenly the ramp starts shaking, the railings groaning and
creaking under the tremor. Immediately, she backs away. The conference table is
shaking as well, the chips and cards scattering. The other two get to their feet
as their comrade stumbles to the bottom of the ramp, nearly losing her balance
entirely. Cut back to the Gate. As the Gate starts to spin. The three watch in
shock as the Stargate continues to spin, the chevrons locking in place]
LEELA: What is all this!
[Just then there is a huge rush of particles from the gate, and this startles
all in the room. It retracts into the ring and stabilizes, LEELA walks up to it
and just before she can touch to anomaly before her a round sphere comes though
the gate. It scans everyone in the room, and they all run to get weapons from
the new weapons shelf. Once they open it they find half of them gone, the alien
AMY: I thought there were more in here.
LEELA: We will make due, I mean what is the worst that can happen?
[Just then three figures with metal armour on them shaped like serpents come
through the gate. The first one grabs LEELA and goes behind the other two holding
LEELA as a shield.]
[At this point the hallucination starts for everyone.]
FRY: Sharre! NO!
[Then a slightly more mechanised figure comes though, his armour is like the
rest, but made of gold. His helmet retracts to reveal the face of Bender (Apophis).]
BENDER: Jaffa! Cree!
[All the serpents helmets retract to reveal Hermes (first prime Tealc),
and the two other guards Scruffy and Cubert.]
BENDER: Tealc! Cree!
[Hermes gives the struggling LEELA over to Bender]
[Bender holds up a palm device and its glow mystifies the no longer struggling
FRY: Let her GO!
[For answer one of the guards lowers his staff and fires at Amy and FRY, They
overturn the conference table for cover and fire back. The gate deactivates, and
one of the guards begins to dial back.]
AMY (Carter): We cant just let them get away sir!
FRY (ONeil): I am out of rounds here, we have to wait for re-enforcements.
[All the guards go through the gate, just as professor Farnsworth (General
Hammond) comes into the room to see the aftermath of what has transpired.]
[The gate deactivates and all is still for a few tense seconds.]
FARNSWORTH: What in the hell was that!
AMY: We have no idea sir, they just came in here and took sharre.
FRY: Permission for a rescue mission sir.
FARNSWORTH: Granted, but come back here to the debriefing room, we have to
discuss what just happened in there.
[In the lab, we see zoidberg, also hallucinating, with a healing device healing
a slightly injured Amy and FRY.]
ZOIDBERG (Dr. Frasier): Good as new, now just try not to have too much fun
with the serpent guards will you.
FARNSWORTH: About what happened in there, what was all that?
FRY: I have no idea sir, but I bet we can dial back and rescue her. We just
FARNSWORTH: Is that possible?
AMY: Yes sir, I saw what symbols locked in, and we can dial back.
FRY: We just have to get her back! She is my wife!
FARNSWORTH: Done, now get ready you leave in twenty minutes.
[Meanwhile in the basement.]
BENDER: Jaffa! Cree!
[All three jaffa bow down before Bender and worship him.]
BENDER: Today we have our new queen!
[He takes a struggling LEELA and puts her in a chair, she is tied down to it.]
LEELA: What are you doing!?
BENDER: Ready the symbyote!
[Hermes presents a terrified screaming Nibbler to the demonic robot. Bender
grabs Nibbler by the eye antenna thing and throws him at LEELA. Fearing for its
life the terrified animal clings to her neck for dear life. We now see a change
in LEELA, as she thinks she has been taken over by the symbyote.]
LEELA: My king, how may I serve you?
[Back in the conference room (Star Gate Command).]
FARNSWORTH: SG1 you are a go for the rescue mission, Good luck!
[The gate activates and the two fearless warriors step though.]
[They arrive in the basement to find that it is deserted.]
AMY: Where is everyone?
FRY: Stay on your guard soldier.
[Just then they are both hit with Zat shots from behind. They come to in a
poorly made prison cell constructed of several pipes.]
FRY: Share it is you!
[LEELA looks at him with disgust.]
LEELA: You are to be executed this day for figuring out the secret of the Chapai
BENDER: She is my queen now. Your Share is dead!
FRY: Nooooo!!! Fight it Share FIGHT IT!!!
[Just then Hermes (Tealc) grabs him by the arm.]
[Looking at his wrist watch.]
HERMES: This technology is not that of the Goaould.
FRY: I am from Earth.
HERMES: That name means nothing to me.
[He goes to the other end of the room where cubet and scruffy are standing
with staff weapons poised to shoot. He takes one off the ground and aims as well.]
BENDER: Execute them.
HERMES: Yes my lord.
[The insane robot with Cyclops in hand go into an adjoining room.]
[Serpent Guards charge their weapons.]
FRY: Wait no! We can help you all defeat these false gods!
HERMES: Many have said that
but you are the first that I believe.
[He turns and shoots Cubert and then scruffy in rapid succession.]
HERMES: We must hurry back to the chapai!
FRY: Not without my wife!
[He runs into the next room and grabs LEELA from next to Bender]
BENDER: What is this!
[Before he can do anything FRY is already in the next room with Amy and Hermes,
along with LEELA as their prisoner.]
LEELA: Sholva! Apophus shall kill you for your treachery!
HERMES: So be it, But I die free.
[The gate activates as bender comes into the room and they all escape. They
then come back to the conference room.]
Farnsworth: Congratulations on a successful rescue mission.
FRY: Not quite general.
Farnsworth: What do you mean.
AMY: She has become one of them. They used some kind of a control parasite
Farnsworth: Cant we remove the parasite?
HERMES: Perhaps. We will require a trained medical person.
ZOIDBERG: I can be of assistance there.
Farnsworth: Agreed, take her to the medical lab.
[In the medical lab Zaoiberg (Dr. Frasier) I prepared to remove the symbyote.]
ZOIDBERG: Ok, now I must be very delicate when using this instrument to remove
[Takes out a spatula and pries the still terrified nibbler off of LEELAs
LEELA: Wha? Where am I? Why do you all have those training guns of the professors?
ZOIDBERG: She is still delusional, keep her in isolation.
[They put LEELA in a broom closet.]
LEELA: Hey! Why did you lock me in here! FRY! Help!
FRY: The only way I can help you is if you start to act normal again share.
LEELA: Sharre? like in the show?
HERMES: She has become most delusional.
[Just then there is an explosion outside.]
Farnsworth: What was that?
AMY: We are under attack!
[Cut to see bender in the recently finished turret part of the uncompleted
Planet Express Ship.]
BENDER: I may not be able to destroy you through the chapai, but my ship can!
[He begins firing sporadically destroying a lot of the hanger.]
FRY: We have to stop him!
AMY: Quickly to the Stargate, I have an idea!
[They all go to the gate and activate it.]
AMY: This wormhole should take us to his ship. Once there we can destroy it.]
[They all go through and end up in the unfinished Planet Express Ship.]
FRY: We are in. where is the bridge?
HERMES: I have been on this vessel many times, it is this way.
[They all head to the bridge, where bender is standing staff weapon poised.]
BENDER: Your foolish plan has failed, you die now!
[He shoots Amy then Hermes in rapid succession, but FRY Dodges and shoots bender
with a high powered, but non-lethal rifle.]
[With his last bit of strength the enraged robot shoots FRY and then collapses.]
[Now all that we see is darkness and then a light appears. FRY feels as though
he is traveling toward it when it grows in intensity. It grows until he moves
his arm to shield his eyes. He is still blinded when he comes to but finds a beautiful
thing in the middle of the light, His beloved LEELA. He then feels a sharp pain
on his face followed be some sweet, but enraged words]
LEELA: You bastard! What the hell is wrong with you! Why in Gods name
did you lock me in a freaking broom closet!
[Not really comprehending what the heck was going on, he said the first thing
that came to mind when he saw his true love.]
FRY: I love you LEELA.
[Upon hearing this she whispered something into his ear.]
LEELA: I love you too, my husband.
[And with that she gave him a long passionate kiss, time enough for FRY to
come to his senses and realize where he was. He then pulled away and asked.]
FRY: Why am I on the ship? What the hell happened here?
LEELA: That stupid device the professor made caused us to hallucinate that
we were in the show.
FRY: Oh my GOD! What happened to Hermes and Amy! Are they dead?
LEELA: No, just out cold. Come on, we have to get them to the infirmary. That
stupid lobster thinks he is still a good doctor and is actually doing a good job
[They pick up the incapacitated Hermes and Amy and drag them into the infirmary.
Where Zoidburg still thinking he is Frasier puts them on some beds and uses the
professors healing device on them.]
HERMES: What happened? I feel like I ate some of benders nasty food.
AMY: Oh man, I have a headache like you would not believe. Where am I?
FRY: You all were hallucinating that we were all in the show. The professors
LEELA: Like it was that unexpected.
Farnsworth: What professor? Why does that name sound so familiar?
[They look at the general and nod to each other, they then knock out the professor
with a shot from a hand weapon. A short time later he awakens on the couch, where
all he others are watching television on a new TV FRY had delivered that day.]
Farnsworth: WHA!? Where am I?
AMY: Oh man, not another. I explained this like a dozen times here. It is your
BENDER: Your stupid TV suites messed up, we all hallucinated, I tried to kill
everyone with the ships turret gun, and we knocked you out, happy.
Farnsworth: Turret gun?
[The professor shuffles to the hangar, which thanks to Bender has been turned
into swiss cheese. All the parts, tool, and crates of things for the ship have
been either broken or vaporized.]
Farnsworth: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY HAPPENED!!!
LEELA: Well, looks like you will need to work on the ship for a little while
AMY: I can help with that.
BENDER: And I can destroy it all again.
AMY: I order you to clean this place you private! I want it spotless so that
I can help fix that ship you destroyed!
BENDER: Sir! yes Sir! I HATE YOU ALL!!!
[Back in the TV area.]
LEELA: So FRY, looks like we will have some more time to enjoy our new marriage
before we go back to work.
FRY: Dont worry about that. I have it all covered.
LEELA: How so?
FRY: When Mom had to give me all that money, I told Amy to play that video
of her corporate scandals and show all people the truth about her company, which
means that all their business came to me. I told Hermes to manage the place when
we were on out honeymoon, and well he bought out all of moms empire.
LEELA: So that means that
FRY: Yep, we will never have to work again. Unless just for old times sake.
LEELA: Oh I love you FRY!
FRY: I love you too LEELA.
LEELA: I think we will need some of that champagne tonight.
[FRY turns a little red with embarrassment when he sees that everyone was in
the vicinity when LEELA said that. But it did not matter. All that did was that
he still had his true love, and that no snake wielding false god was ever going
to take her again.]
EPOLOGUE: I would like to state that I do not claim to own or have rights to
anything futurama or stargate sg1.
Good fan fiction I would say, could be longer, but that would just bore you
all. I got what I needed done for now, so continuality is preserved, you will
find this tale most necessary for the next half of the Going Insane series.
Mail me anything at: email@example.com
I need ideas, this is an advanced notice. Give me the craziest parallel dimension
stuff you can think of. Part seven is done, and part eight needs some more finishing
touches, but I have yet to come up with an adequate number if ideas for part nine,
which I will only say deals with parallel dimensions. It will be cool, and there
will be some emotional turmoil because of these alternate realities of possible
futures. Real good concept, just need more ideas. Ideas from other dimensions
welcome, some funny ones would be nice as well.
POLL QUESTION: Who do you want to die in the end? What do you think should
be the conclusion?
You can mail, or post in the Planet Express Employee Lounge.