Futurama

Fan Fiction

Catastrophe
By Kryten

Author's note: This fic was inspired by FemJesse's drawing, located here.


Chapter 1: Things Get Hairy

It was a typical day for Planet Express. Hermes was droning on about something, Everyone else was catching up on their sleep.

Amy dozed quietly in her seat, occasionally drifting back to consciousness. She at least had a good excuse… finals week had just ended. Eight long days of studying, being tested, and drinking way too much coffee had come to an end, and her energy was pretty much gone.

"...which falls under your responsibility… WAKE UP, woman! Dere'll be time for sleepin' when da Professor is talkin'!"

She snapped back to awareness. "Uh, sorry, Hermes."

"As I was sayin', now that you're on your summer break, we'll be givin' you more duties. You'll be the alternate whenever Bender is celebratin' one of his fake holidays, indicted, or otherwise unavailable. In addition, you're now in charge of maintenance around here. Any time Fry breaks somet'in while doin' somet'in stupid, it's your job to repair it!

"Hey, how come you singled me out? How do you know it wasn't Leela who broke the coffee machine because I wanted to see if I could make cappuccino by adding a hundred Alka-Seltzer tablets?"

"And finally, it's your responsibility to keep Zoid-jerk from eatin' the furniture."

"So the one time I ate the throw pillows. They were so ugly, you should only thank me why not!"

"So… does this mean I get a raise?"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Oh, dat was priceless. Never lose your sense of humor. Now get back to work, all of ya lazy slackers! I'll be in me office, alphabetizin' me dictionary."

The meeting broke up. Fry took up his usual position on the couch, remote in hand. Leela began thumbing through her magazine, "Boot World", or something…

"Welp, I'm gonna go start lunch. I got somethin' special today," Bender said, holding up a small, squirming bag.

"Whatcha got, Bender?" Fry said, looking up from the TV.

"Only the best. Sure, you c'n get it cheap dried or frozen, but to make Bendersadillas the RIGHT way, ya gotta strangle yerself a FRESH kitten!"

Amy stared in horror as Bender pulled a kitten out of the sack. "You leave that poor defenseless creature alone!" she said, snatching the little ball of tawny fluff away from the misanthropic robot. Stroking the kitten, she whispered "Don't worry… the mean ol' robot can't hurt you now! How'd you like to go home with me?" The kitten purred her approval. "I think I'll call you Fluffy. Or Miss Kitty Magnifico. Or something…"

"Whatever. I can't make Bendersadillas, but I can still cook up some Benderchiladas. I'm gonna go empty out the owl traps."

Amy plopped herself down on the cough with Miss Kitty. "He was going to cook the poor thing! Can you imagine?"

Leela scowled. "What do you expect? His favorite sport is 'puppy tennis.'"

"Well, here's one cute little creature he'll never get his hands on."

"She IS awfully cute." Leela said, smiling.

Fry grinned. "Yeah. She kinda reminds me of that little kitten Bender made lunch out of yesterday."

Leela seemed to turn green. "Excuse me." She ran for the bathroom.

"Are you hungry, Miss Kitty? I think there's some milk in the kitchen." She carried the tiny creature out of the lounge and began rummaging around in the fridge. What did kittens eat, anyway? She'd been more of a horse girl growing up… though she'd always wanted a cat. Unfortunately, 'til now, her mom's allergies had prevented her from getting one.

"Well, I'm a grown woman now, and if I want a kitten, I can have one if I spl'amn well want one!" she proclaimed to no one in particular.

She was just serving Miss Kitty a saucer of milk and some tuna - cats like tuna, right? - when Professor Farnsworth wandered in, looking dazed as usual.

"Oh, hi, Professor."

"Eh, huh, wha? Who the devil are you supposed to be? I've never seen you before! Now where's Amy, I need her!"

"Skr'eesh… I'm Amy."

"Oh! Oh yes! Of course! Now go get Amy, and tell her to meet me in the lab in five minutes!"

Sighing and rolling her eyes, Amy followed.

"Stay here, Miss Kitty. I'll be right back, I promise."


"Behold… my a matter-transporter!"

"Don't they already have those?"

"Oh my, yes, but mine is completely different! Using the latest technology, I have devised a method of instantaneous transport! I've completely eliminated that dangerous three-second delay! And I've managed to achieve a range of nearly thirty feet!"

"That's not really that impressive."

"It is at six in the morning. You see, thirty feet is the distance from my bedroom to my bathroom. No longer will I have to make that potentially embarrassing twenty-minute trek every morning!"

"Ewww."

"But first, I must test it on a human subject. And, since according to federal regulations, I'm only allowed to test things on interns, you're elected."

"But…"

"Ehheh, in you go!"

Groaning, Amy stepped into the circular booth. As the door slid shut, she heard a soft noise… a sort of "meow"-ish noise… she looked down…

Miss Kitty? Ai ya, she must have followed me into the lab without my noticing! "No! Bad kitty! Out!"

But it was too late. The door had shut.

She banged on the plexiglass door. "Professor, stop the test! My cat's in here! Something could go wrong!"

"Ehwah? Start the test? Okay then."

"No, stop the test! Stop the…"

He hit the button.

"You might feel a slight tingling sensation, possibly followed by unbearable agony."

The universe seemed to dissolve before her eyes. Then blackness. It lasted a fraction of a second. It felt like forever.

And then… the world came back into focus.

She was in a similar tube, on the other side of the lab. All her major body parts seemed intact.

"Oh dear, it worked. I was quite certain you would die horrib- eh, I mean, good news, someone! The test was a success!"

Amy stumbled out of the tube as it opened. Something was wrong. Something….

Miss Kitty. Where in fl'ell was she?

"Professor, my kitten was in there with me! What happened to her? I don't see her!"

"Hmm… if something else was in there with you, you would have merged together to form some sort of freakish monst- eh, but that's not important. From the trace amounts of feline DNA I'm detecting, it seems your pet has shuffled off the mortal coil."

"She's… dead?"

"Yes, you idiot! But you can rest assured knowing that she gave her life to insure dry carpets for all!"

"Ugh… I can't believe you… you… I'm outta here!"

And with that, she stormed out of the lab.

"Eh, off you go, apparently…"


She was three steps out the door when the first dizzy spell hit. The second one struck when she got back to the lounge.

"You don't look so good, Amy", Zoidberg said. "Perhaps a look at you I should take?"

"Dibs on the corpse when you're done," leaned in Bender.

"I'm just gonna go home. It's almost quitting time anyway…"

The dizziness was getting more pronounced now. Driving wasn't an option… she had to take the tubes.

"Croesus Towers."

The tube shot her uptown and deposited her in front of her building. She took the hovervator up, stumbled to her apartment, and collapsed on the bed.


She awoke around 2 in the morning. The covers felt stifling. She kicked them aside and adjusted the air-conditioning to a cooler level. Still too hot. She stripped entirely and curled up on top of the sheets, au naturel.


Two hours of uncomfortable sleep later, she got up again. The cooler air wasn't working. Maybe some warm milk….

She crawled out of bed and headed for the kitchen, her tail swishing back and forth behind her. She got out the milk, which slipped out of her fingers and spilled all over the floor.

"Fl'oops. Oh well, better clean it up." She got down on all fours and began to lap it up.

Wait a minute. Something's very wrong here.

She checked herself. Fur… claws… tail…

"Hmm… if something else was in there with you, you would have merged together to form some sort of freakish monst- eh, but that's not important."

Oh no.

Dare I look in the mirror?

Trembling, she flicked on the lights in the bathroom. She stared at her reflection…

Her face and body were covered in cream-colored fur, with a swath of white around her mouth and down her throat, chest, and belly. Her ankles were angled so that she walked on her toes, which, along with her fingers, had developed retractable claws. A long prehensile tail had sprouted at the base of her spine. Her eyes were now a luminous green, with vertical slits for pupils. Her ears had migrated to the top of her head, sticking ridiculously out of her black hair, and were tapered to a point; her nose was cold, wet, and bright pink, and her teeth were sharp and fang-y.

In short… Amy Wong was now half-human, half-cat.

The folks downstairs heard the loudest "Ai ya!" on record, followed by a thud as she fainted dead away.

Buddies