Fan Fiction

Breaking The Wall
By CosmicF

I stared across to Leela as she slept wrapped in the silken blankets of my bed next to me and quietly started to stir

As she opened her eye she let out a contented yawn, turned in the bed to face me

"Hmm you were great last night" she purred resting her eye on mine.

Coming to her senses, she shot up like a bolt

"What the? Who the hell are you?" she asked in surprise and alarm, "how did I get here, did we?"   

“Yep!” I chirped smugly as I leant back into the plush pillow that adorned my bed

“Though to be honest I'm surprised you can’t remember”

She wrapped the blankets in tight around her body and pulled the stands of dishevelled hair from her face.

“Look buddy, all I remember is waking up in this unusually luxurious bed just now and seeing you staring at me like some crazed loon” she objected with some candour

“What’s really confusing though is how I don’t even know what the room were in looks like” she said still clinging onto the sheets.

I got out of bed and pulled open the lavish drapes that covered the window allowing the warming light of the clear summer morning to pour in around us.

She winced slightly as she took in her surroundings.

Now fully illuminated by the light of day Leela could see the relative sparseness of the room around her, the bed side carbonate littered with the usual miscellaneous items, the soft cream colour of the wall and her cloths strewn over the plush carpet around the bed.

“Oh great!” She said sounding deflated “I’m in a fan fiction aren’t I?”

I looked round in surprise “What?” I asked “What makes you think that?”

She slipped out of bed and began scooping her cloths of the floor

“Well its kind of obvious if you think about it” She said in a tired voice

“First there’s you” She said glaring in my direction “I don’t know you, I’ve never seen you before and here I am with you after a night of seemingly wiled passion”

“So that doesn’t prove…” I replied only to be cut off as Leela continued

“Secondly, how is it that I know the carpet I’m standing on is plush, but I still don’t know what colour it is?” she said angrily pointing to the soft blue carpet at her feet

“Oh, so suddenly its blue is it... nicely done Wordsworth” She added sarcastically as she started to get dressed

“Hey what are you doing?” I asked in bemusement

 “I’m getting dressed” She snapped back in response “Then I’m leaving”

“What you cant leave, if you do that I…”

“…Wont have a story?” she said with a rye grin

“Look, your clearly new at this fan fiction business, so let me tell you how this pans out” she said pulling on her tank top! “Either this is a hook, and you’re going to go into some elaborate back story of how you came to the future and romanced me befriended Fry and all the rest…” she said flatly “… or this is some sick pornographic fantasy of yours that for some misguided reason you’ve decided to commit to writing”

Having already dressed the rest of her body, she pulled on a boot and looked up to where I was standing “Either way, I’m not interested” She with a forced yet apathetic grin

“Where’s your wash room?” she asked reaching for her handbag “thanks to how you started this thing I need to freshen up!”

“Uh it’s the door to right” I said motioning across the room

“Thanks!” she said making for the door

Moments after disappearing through the door, her head remerged to look at me

“You know your still standing butt naked by the window right” she said sounding almost amused

I blushed as I covered my shame and quickly through on some cloths.

As I finished getting dressed Leela casually strolled out of the bathroom her hair neatly held in its usual pony tale looking fresh and fully revitalised.

“There that’s better” She said sounding slightly calmer than before

“Look, I’m flattered that you would think this way about me, but you’ve got to know your audience” She explained “Me jumping into bed with some random stranger goes completely against my character, besides as much as I hate to admit it I sort of already have a romantic interest. If I break character for any reason, your audience is just going to hate you for it, especially if its just so your character can get some action”

“Wait, didn’t you jump into bed with Alkazar and Zap, also your relationship with Fry doesn’t seem to be heading anywhere, why shouldn’t we have a relationship?”

“Firstly, simply rolling in the sack with someone does not constitute a relationship, secondly you don’t want to go down the road of liking yourself to a pair of jerks like that bloated man ball Brannigan or that selfish ass Alkazar and thirdly, I don’t like being reminded of the fact that, well you know.” She blushed sounding both embarrassed and frustrated at the same time.

“Look, I’m not saying it’s always a bad Idea to veer away from the established character trends, in fact that’s how the best stories are written” She continued softening her voice. “Just try to be more subtle about things in future ok!” she concluded as she led me to the exit

“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out this time Leela.” I said apologetically clasping her hand in mine and staring down at our feet. “Maybe next time we can get off on the right foot”

“I’d like that” She said with a sincere smile. “Well I’ve got to go now, other fan fictions and that.  You know how it is”

“yeah" I agreed reluctantly as she pulled her hand from mine "I’ll see you around then I guess”

As she turned to leave, she paused and turned back to me wearing a mischievous grin

“aww shucks, this wouldn’t be right if I just didn’t do one last thing!” she said staring deep into my eyes

“What’s that?” I asked optimistically

“Close your eyes” she whispered in my ear seductively

I did as I was asked sensing the anticipation of what was about to happen, this was it, what I had been waiting for.

… A resoundingly forceful punch in the gut! Fry was right; it did really hurt when she hit people. I fell to the deck and doubled over in pain

“That’s for taking advantage of me Jerk wad!” she shouted as she strolled out the door triumphantly

Still curled up on a ball on the floor and reeling in pain a single thought crossed my mind

It was still totally worth it…

“Ow I hate my fantasies!”

The End