Futurama

Fan Fiction

Going Insane 8 - Birth of a Power
By GHT

[He walks into his office, on the great and mighty Hatak class mother ship. It is dark, but he sees a figure in his chair.]

ZAPP: Kenif, I didn’t know you were going to be working late.

RA: I am not your new green snivelling sidekick. Now bow down before your god!

ZAPP: Yes my lord, what are your wishes?

RA: The Tari are restless, they know of your scandals, crush the resistance and you shall have anything you want.

ZAPP: Yes my lord, your words are truly wise and great.

RA: Now go, crush the resistance and enslave the Ta’ri.

ZAPP: Yes my lord.

[He leaves the office and begins to give commands to the other high ranking offincers.]

 

[Somewhere in deep space]

[She awakens in her bed, husband in her embrace, hot, naked, head pounding, needs to find an aspirin.]

FRY: Good morning my love.

LEELA: Morning space outlaw.

FRY: I hope not for long.

LEELA: Lets turn on the news, the riots should have become really bad by now.

[They turn on the television in their room, and see the news.]

LINDA: Yes, thinking is death, any resistance is futile.

MORBO: The DOOP have been destroyed, replaced by the MDOP

LINDA: Yes, that is the Military dictatorship of Planets. They have begun production on the largest fleet of ships and all families are ordered to have ten children to fill the ranks of the new armed forces.

MORBO: The MDOP is a truly powerful and unstoppable force bent on conquering the universe. This a sad day for Morbo.

LINDA: In other news, the bounties on all those associated with planet express, the holders of the technology of the ancients has gone up ten fold today. Bounty hunters everywhere are looking, and it shall not be long now before the traitors are caught.

MORBO: Also, Your god Ra is doing fine now, after taking five fifty caliber rounds to the chest and three to the brain, he is expected to be at a high councel meeting with his children later today.

LINDA: Yet more proof that he really is a god.

[Shot of the horrified faces of Leela and Fry]

LEELA: MY GOD!!!!

FRY: HOLY CRAP!!!

[Just then a voice came trough the intercom, it is Farnsworth.]

FARNSWORTH: Everyone, conference NOW!!!

[On the bridge, Everyone is assembled for a meeting, FRY is presiding.]

FRY: Well, our plan totally backfired. The DOOP is now a Military Government bent on conquering the known universe. Anything else wrong with today?

LEELA: And out bounties are up 10 fold, not just us either, everyone associated with us too. Every bounty hunter in the universe wants us.

AMY: I wish we could help everyone we knew back on Earth, but we would never get by the planetary defences.

KIF: Well, this ship will be our home for a while. We should go to deep space and find a new home there.

[Tears begin to well up in everyone’s eyes.]

[The rest of the day as the conquest from within of the DOOP continues morale on the ship really begins to slip. It is now lunch time, and Fry is cooking something with the supplies they got from the rebels.]

FRY: This is not good. Those good for nothing rebels gave us food with a very short lifespan. We can only take out what we are going to eat from the freezer, we can’t even re-arrange any of it.

LEELA: It doesn’t matter. The cryo freezers still allow some aging. I would say in a week all this will become ingredients to Bender.

AMY: Speaking of Bender, where is he?

FRY: Oh, I’m fixing him up. Now that I am married I just can’t stand his antics or insults. I just couldn’t stand it anymore, besides, he was sucking down all the beer and not helping us in the least.

LEELA: Well you have to do what you have to do. Now that we do have food and beer, why don’t you re-activate him?

AMY: Speaking of beer, the nanites should have taken effect by now, how can we get drunk still?

FARNSWORTH: It is quite simple really, these new nanites run on the electrical neural impulses of the body, they do not need alcohol to run. Now why don’t you reactivate the robot again?

FRY: Back to what I was saying, I still have a few adjustments to make to his hardware and personality programming. His evilness is really hard to get rid of.

FARNSWORTH: Well then, let’s all dig in. we will need the energy to fight off all the space bounty hunters. The cloaking device only works for a short while, and the shields aren’t impenetrable you know.

AMY: Well, I have no argument there.

[They all eat the food rations. And go to bed that night. Everyone too depressed to do anything at all. Fry and Leela lie awake in their bed.]

LEELA: What’s wrong?

FRY: It is just, I only wanted to help people free themselves of the DOOP corruption, and it totally backfired.

LEELA: Look, whatever we did this was going to happen. I mean it is like they were planning to do it soon anyway. Just look at how fast they quelled the riots and forced people into being near slaves to the government.

FRY: Yeah, I pulled my career chip today. You should do the same. They have begun to track where people are with them. If we get near any kind of transmission booster, the signal goes out and we are toast.

LEELA: Yeah, let me get the implanter.

[She takes out the implanter and removes the chip from her hand. She then takes a hammer and smashes it.]

FRY: Huh, that brings back memories.

LEELA: Yeah, I mean if you weren’t so scared of it and ran away, we may have never fallen in love.

FRY: Yeah. We should tell the crew to do the same to their chips. I mean it is not like we will need any jobs for a long time. I went trough one case of cash for all of you. Ship renovations, more comfort, food, supplies, and this.

[He takes out a box and opens it. Inside there is a shiny new wristamajiggor.]

LEELA: That is not like any model I have ever seen.

FRY: I know. It is the first one off the production line. It was stolen by a rebel agent and they sold it to me. I even got a matching one for myself.

[They put on their wristamajiggors and look at them in awe.]

LEELA: Wow, it has more functions than any model in existence.

FRY: It’s ten times more powerful too. But we can’t go onto the net with them. The MDOP has begun to trace all net logons. We will never be able to do much again.

LEELA: What do they want with us anyhow? I mean can’t they just get the technology themselves from that planet?

FRY: Not anymore. Remember, you jettisoned the engine core, it made a small black hole. That upset the balance in a sun between explode and implode. The supernova vaporized the planet. We have the only technology left in the universe.

LEELA: Well I can’t get to sleep. How about you?

FRY: I have an idea come with me.

 

[The next day A Cryogenic freezer counts down to zero and opens, Fry with Leela in his embrace step into a fray of activity.]

FRY: Oh man nothing like a powernap.

LEELA: No wonder how you ran so fast after1000 years. I feel like I can do anything right about now.

AMY: We are under attack!

FARNSWORTH: Activating shields and Automated Gun turrets, Everyone to battle stations!

[Leela and Fry get into their chairs and weapons panels with flat screens come up in front of them. They start firing and manage to repel the Bounty hunters.]

FRY: That was easy.

FARNSWORTH: Perhaps too easy.

LEELA: Missile coming in! at 12:00 high!

AMY: I’m on it!

[She shoots at the missile, but it explodes and a shockwave hits the ship. All the panels fry and explode. Everyone is burned and injured.]

FRY: AHHH!!!! My hands!

AMY: OUCH!!! It burns!!!

FARNSWORTH: Indeed fire very hot!

LEELA: I got it.

[She hits the emergency fire button, and the fires go out. Everyone is in pain and in need of medical attention.]

FRY: Hey! By now the Nanites should have fixed us, or released a whole lot morphine into our systems.

FARNSWORTH: That must have been an EMP bomb. The nanites are offline.

AMY: I need help here!

FRY: Bleeding!

AMY: Can’t we just use the healing devices?

FARNSWORTH: Absolutely not! They can only be used by someone with naqadah in their blood, and that damn lobster Zoidburg was the only one who could use it properly, the starving bastard ate several chunks of raw naquadah.

FRY: Then where do we go? Check the map I got, everything is blurry I can’t read it.

FARNSWORTH: It says here that this is the only hospital that will not capture and kill us all. But I do not know if it is accurate or not.

LEELA: We are going to have to risk it. I am going to that space hospital ship.

[The ship goes at top speed and ends up at the universal amnesty hospital. The crew check in and are healed.]

FRY: Well that was easy.

NURSE: Ms. Fry, we need to see you in private for a moment.

[They take Leela into a small room for a few minutes leaving the rest of the crew to talk amongst themselves.]

AMY: Well, I have a clean bill of health. No diseases or anything like that.

FRY: Me too. Surprised you didn’t get something by now.

AMY: What does that mean?

FRY: You have only screwed every guy you ever met. Hell even the professor.

AMY: Alright, I was distressed over kif’s death. I made a bad call ok.

FARNSWORTH (sarcastically): Aw, I have feelings too you know.

KIF: I am clean as well. At least you waited for me to be declared dead before sleeping with someone else.

FRY: I hope Leela is ok.

[Leela comes out of the room a bit distressed, but still fully healed and looking good.]

FRY: What was that all about?

LEELA (clearly lying): Uh, I am in perfect health, but they just wanted to be sure I was an alien.

FRY: Well, lets go, we should get back to the ship and get out of here before we are found out. We can die if the nanites are offline and we get a life threatening injury.

[The crew leave the hospital In the ship. Fry Activates the cloaking device and the ship disappears.]

AMY: I had better go check on the engines. They may need a tune up. We have been in space for way longer than the ship was made for.

FRY: I will fix the main computer mainframe.

LEELA: I will fly the ship on manual, but without more than 50% life support we will have to find a class M planet soon.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, we should keep oxygen masks ready.

KIF: I will try to fix the panels that have all exploded around the ship.

FRY: Professor, I know how much you want to work in your lab, but you should go help Kif.

FARNSWORTH: Oh alright then.

[They all go their separate ways and do not see each other until dinner time.]

FRY: Well, looks like we will be having the same old rations again tonight.

LEELA: Isn’t there anything left other than these rations?

FRY: No, when we ordered the food, we didn’t think that they would give us the same crappy meal in every package.

LEELA: You mean tasteless gruel that has the same constitution as mashed potatoes?

AMY: We need to get some real food. This stuff is just blended something in a pouch.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, I will go crazy if we don’t get some variety in here.

AMY: As if you were sane before. You technical diagrams are more mixed up and confusing than Fry’s.

FARNSWORTH: Oh tish tosh. I can read them just fine. It is the way they are drawn that affect how they work, that is what allows me to make the things I do. I see things differently.

FRY: Mine aren’t all that bad. I am just drawing what the ancients created, it is exactly how they drew it all, you know. Heck I really don’t know how they did it either, I just know how to build it and what it does.

AMY: Oh sorry.

LEELA: Back to the problem at hand, how do we get better food?

FRY: Well captain Leela, what do you think we should do?

LEELA: I say we eat this for tonight. And go find a good planet tomorrow.

KIF: Um, if I may interject, we are in uncharted space. Nobody knows what is out here. It could be many days before we find a class M, and even then it may not have any good food on it.

[It has been two days since then. The ship is still in disrepair, shields and weapons are in operational, and the two things that seem to work right are the life support systems and the cloaking device.]

AMY: I can’t take this anymore. I need a change!

FARNSWORTH: I don’t think your hair can take another perm.

AMY: Neither do I, but that is not the problem.

LEELA: What’s wrong?

AMY: We have been in space for like a month straight. Same people, same problems every day, same titanium strength glass separating me from the cold vacuum of space. I can’t take it any more!

FRY: I need a break from all this. I mean we should have never left Eden.

FARNSWORTH: I wish to go back to Earth and take a few more things from my lab. (mumbling) without opening a Pandora’s box of problems.

KIF: Uh, um, I was reading the instruction manual for the ship, and I think that gage shows how much naquadah is left in the tanks, and it is not much at all. We are going to be out soon.

FRY: This is not good, do we have any left in a storage closet or something?

FARNSWORTH: Oh my no. it is a highly volatile substance. The only naquadah left is on earth in a special storage closet in the basement.

AMY: But with no extended hyper-drive we can never get anywhere for a long time.

FRY: Not to mention that no matter how much weaponry we put on this ship it will never be able to get past the armada of ships around Earth.

LEELA: Don’t forget that the sub-light naquadah powered engines have about 10,000 light years in them tops.

KIF: We do still have the dark matter engines right?

FRY: Of course we do, and nibbler is a dark matter machine, it is just from this distance it will take like 125 years to get back.

LEELA: We could freeze ourselves.

FARNSWORTH: Oh my no! that is the worst thing to do. We may awaken in a hellish future where the MDOP have taken over the universe, or at least all the good parts.

KIF: Um, I do know a few things about spectral analysis, can’t we just find a planet with this naquadah stuff on it and land there.

FRY: No, according to what the ancients knew, it was a very rare substance not found on more than a few select worlds. The only stock left that we know of is back at Planet Express, and we could never get back there without being killed, not to mention that on Dark matter engines alone it will take 125 years.

FARNSWORTH: Oh, well then, Good news everyone! I have a way to go back to earth instantly!

LEELA: How professor?

FARNSWORTH: With THIS!!!

[A huge grey ring is unveiled behind him in the back of the ship embedded in the floor. It rises up in an overly dramatic way with flashing lights, smoke discharges, and small firework displays.]

LEELA: Well that was melodramatic.

FRY: The stargate? I thought that it was just a thing from the show and that we hallucinated the whole thing.

FARNSWORTH: Well you did hallucinate the adventure, but the Stargate is real. I made it myself. I put one on Eden, and the other is on Earth in my lab; It looks like a door frame so nobody would be the wiser to it’s existence. I also have one on that youth goo planet.

FRY: Why didn’t you tell us before?

FARNSWORTH: The gate network is a pandora’s box now. With one on earth and the others able to be found and used, I didn’t want to use it, because anything can come through one way. If it is a bomb, then we will have no time to dial out and send it back, and if it is a huge platoon of soldiers, then we will run out of ammo and die before we ever manage to repel them. Even if the gate only manages to stay open for a maximum of 38 minutes.

AMY: Well let’s go. What do we have to loose?

KIF: Um we should get ready for anything. I mean with the military government we have to be careful.

FRY: Suit UP!!!

[The crew put on their battle gear, and form more armour and such with their nanites (they came back online).]

FARNSWORTH: Well everyone through the gate, I have to make some adjustments to the equipment.

[They head through the gate and come out in the professor’s lab. The gate deactivates behind them.]

FRY: Well we are here. I will go for the Naquadah with Leela and KIf. Amy, you find out what has happened to everyone we know.

[The three of them go down to the basement and get the Naquadah, while Amy uses Hermes computer to access the central beurocracy, she looks into what has happened to everyone they know.]

FRY: Alright, just put the naquadah on the hover dolly.

LEELA: This stuff is really heavy.

FRY: I know, it is lighter than dark matter, but it has a much high yield of energy.

LEELA: Spare me the details until later, this stuff is still really heavy for people to Be carrying around like this.

[Amy comes down the stairs to tell the others what she had found out.]

AMY: Hey, I have some bad news.

LEELA: What?

AMY: Cubert, Zoidburg, and Scruffy are all dead. Funny thing is that I couldn’t find anything on Hermes or LaBarbara, it is like they never existed.

[Just then there is a clang of pipes from behind the boiler.]

HERMES: Don’t come any closer!

FRY: Hermes? What happened to you?

[Hermes stepped into the light to reveal that he was badly beaten, and very shaken by events over the last several days.]

HERMES (horrified): Oh great something of somewhere! How did you get here!?

LEELA: Where is Labarbara, or you kid, Dwight?

HERMES: La Barbara is here, but Dwight was not so lucky. They took control of his mind. He is now in the military.

LA BARBARA: Hames had to un-exist us before they could find us.

HERMES: We have been living here ever since.

AMY: That is horrible.

FRY: Come on, we can take you back to the ship.

HERMES: But there are too many guards outside. We would never make it.

LEELA: No need, remember the Stargate?

HERMES: I taught that it was just all a hallucination.

AMY: No, the adventure was, but the gate really works.

LA BARBARA: We really need some food, and rest.

FRY: I have heard enough, lets get the Damn Naquadah, and get out of here. We have fixed up the ship. There is plenty of room for you and you wife.

HERMES: I tank you so much.

FRY: Not safe yet, let’s go.

[They dial out and leave with all the naquadah, along with two new fugitives. FRY is the last one to leave, he looks out a window at the new city, darker, more menacing than ever. Troops marching through the street. He lowers his head and steps through the shimmering blue event horizon of the gate and re-appears in the professor’s cargo bay lab. A large titanium shudder closes like an iris behind him.]

FRY: What the heck was that?

FARNSWORTH: New addition. I have put this Iris a few microns from the event horizon, if someone comes trough that we don’t want, just close it and they will be flattened against it. Nothing will be left, not even a radiation signature.

LEELA: Well, looks like we can sleep easier tonight then. Come on you two (speaking to Hermes and La Barbara) we have to get you some food and medical supplies.

AMY: Wait, how do we make sure we are not flattened against it?

FARNSWORTH: Well you use this..

[Pulls out what looks like a television remote.]

FARNSWORTH: You enter in the access number and the transmission will open the iris remotely. But on to something else, we need some food, I am starving.

FRY: Speaking of food I have something else I have to do.

AMY: I have to go paint my nails, see you all at dinner time.

[They all part company leaving the Professor to work on something.]

[It is now dinner time, and everyone is in a good mood, if they can’t go back home, then at least they have each other. FRY comes in with something strapped to a small hover dolly with a white tarp over it.]

FRY: Before we start dinner, I would like to present to you all the new and improved BENDER!!!

[He dramatically pulls away the cloth to reveal the same old Bender, who activates, and comes to life.]

BENDER: Hey! Why the hell does everything look different?! Why the hell did you deactivate me!?

FRY: I made you better.

BENDER: Well I could really go for a nice cold….piece of dark matter?

[Suddenly there is a sound of crapping inside the robot’s crest cavity.]

BENDER: Well that feels better, wait, what the hell was that!?

[He opens his chest cavity to reveal nibbler on the can which is on top of a dark matter power core.]

BENDER: Get out of there you little bastard rat!

LEELA: Hey he is not a bastard rat!

[Nibbler runs away whimpering.]

FRY: Now look what you have done, I had better go find him.

[FRY grabs a ration pack and runs after nibbler. He is seen walking through a corridor in a seldom used part of the ship.]

FRY: Man, this ship is way bigger than the last one. I wonder what this room is for.

[He opens the door and sees assorted crap nobody uses.]

FRY: Hmmm, storage closet. Maybe nibbler is in here.

[Opens another room.]

FRY: What the? Storage? AGAIN!

[Next room]

FRY: Ok, this is freaking me out…..

[The last one was storage too, next room.]

FRY: Hey, files! I wonder what they say.

[He opens up some files on a desk and begins to read.]

FRY (reading): “Stoner drafts all foyer mansion” Well that’s dumb. Hey, the professor’s notes, I wonder what they say…”Man I am stoned right now, wouldn’t it be cool if like the entire ship was just one type of room? I mean a storage closet is like a room you only store things in, but it would be like so cool if you have all this stuff to store and no place to use it…wooooooow” He is really freaking me out now, hey, blueprint! Lets see here, storage, storage, storage, master storage, sleeping storage, main engine room…storage, WHAT THE!!!? I am so outta here!

[He leaves the room and begins to head back up the corridor along a row of some portholes.]

FRY: Come on nibbler, I guess I will have to eat this huge pack of gruel all by myself.

[He notices a strange glowing from outside the ship, he looks out and sees a huge number of flying brains.]

FRY: Oh my GOD!!! The brain spawn! I have to warn the others.

[He ran trough the lab, and finds the professor.]

FRY: Professor, you have to help me, warn the others, the brain spawn are coming!

FARNSWORTH: Duh……

FRY: Forget you! Leela, come on we have to get out of here!

LEELA: I-- need, to…uhhhhhhh

BIG BRAIN: HA! HA! HA! I have escaped that dimension you put me in!

FRY: What dimension? I never did that.

BIG BRAIN: The nibbolonian must have blanked out your mind, but that need not matter now I have grown in power since the last time we met. I now have the power to control minds. LEELA, I command you, keep FRY Busy!

LEELA: Yes master, come here you sweet stupid man you!

[She lunges for Fry, he dodges, and keeps avoiding her advances, no matter how much he would like to give in.]

BIG BRAIN: Amy I command you to help LEELA!

AMY: Yes master.

[She too joins in the attempt to keep FRY “busy” if you know what I mean.]

BIG BRAIN: HA! HA! HA! With you trapped in eternal bliss you wont be able to have a single thought come out of your brain!

FRY: Look LEELA and Amy, as much as I would like to I have something to do here, can’t we reschedule?

LEELA: NO! must carry out master’s wishes!

AMY: Must help her.

FRY: Sorry, but this is for your own good.

[He kicks them into a storage closet and locks the door.]

BIG BRAIN: You can’t stop me!

FRY: I too have grown in skill and power, the Frywave shall destroy you!

[He concentrates and begins run around the room, matrix style, he then attacks the Big brain with a phychic blast of thought.]

BIG BRAIN: AHHH!!!! It hurts!!! I too have some more tricks up my sleeve. Go my mind slaves! Kill FRY!

[The rest of the crew some out and attack FRY. After a long hard fight, he is subdued, and just before the last blow is struck, a small ship appears and stuns the others. It lands an FRY jumps in.]

FRY: What the? Nibbler?

[The roof comes down, but hit him on the head, it attempts to close several more times, but only bashes him more. Finally he is knocked out and the ship flies through the stargate.]

[Some time later FRY awakes on a cold metal table.]

FRY: Oh, my head, where am I?

NIBBLER: You are on a Nibbolonian battle cruiser.

FRY: Nibbler? You can talk?

NIBBLER: I am broadcasting my thoughts into your mind.

FRY: The crew, I have to save them! LEELA!

NIBBLER: NO, the brain spawn are too powerful we must ensure that the Fry-wave is propagated throughout the universe.

[With that a huge needle pump FRY full of some strange liquid. He is then dropped onto the ground of some planet, he soon looses consciousness.]

[Some time later he feels a sharp pain in his legs, as he is dropped on the ground before some huge wall of circuits.]

FRY: Wha? Where am I?

FEMPUTER: You have been found guilty of being a man. You are sentenced to death by Snu-Snu!

AMAZONIAM WOMEN: SNU-SNU!!!

FRY: Hey! NO! I’m Married!

FEMPUTER: Too Bad! You little rat lawyer totally blew it for you.

FRY: Wait! I have a wedding ring look!

[He shows them his hand, but his ring is gone, he looks over to nibbler who smiles, we see the ring around one of his fangs.]

FRY: You are SO DEAD!!!

NIBBLER: The fry wave must be spread. See you in a week.

[They drag the struggling FRY into a Snu-Snu hut]

AMAZONIAN: This me first time, be gentle, bitch!

FRY: NOOOOO!!!! Ohhhhhh……..

 

[ONE WEEK OF FORCED ADULTARY LATER]

AMAZONIAN: This me Fifth time with you. You should die by now.

FRY: I have no idea what that little rat did to me, but I swear I will kill him. Thank God for nanites!

NIBBLER: E’hem, I am right here you know.

FRY: Get me out of here!

NIBBLER: Ok, you have only screwed every woman in the village…five times, I think you seed has fertilized the next generation of the Fry-wave.

FRY: Then get me out of here!

NIBBLER: Done and Done.

[The little rat gets into his ship and flies over, FRY jumps in and they take off.]

FRY: Ok, how do we get back to the ship?

NIBBLER: I took the gate out of there and came up on the Amazonian planet. I am going back to the paradise world now.

FRY: But if I lost against the brain the last time, how can I possibly win now?

NIBBLER: The Fry-wave has unique properties to it. Reality is what you command it to be. Just remember, with great powe….

FRY: Been there heard that. You could have just said use the force or something.

NIBBLER: Well, I have to uh, get some more help, your on your own. Now just so there aren’t any hard feelings about what has happened to you I will have to do one more thing to you.

FRY: What? You think I can ever forgive you for forcing me to cheat on my wife! Now I hate you more than ever! You should have died in that damn sewer!

NIBBLER: Well here goes.

[Nibber’s antenna eye thing looks toward FRY, there is a bright flash and nibbler fills FRY in on his mission here, excluding the week of adultery on the Amazonian planet.]

NIBBLER: So now you must strengthen your powers to win. Got that?

FRY: So where was I for the last week? It has been seven days since I last checked my watch.

NIBBLER: Um, you were out cold, and badly injured, I had to put you in stasis for a week for you to heal.

FRY: Wait, wouldn’t the nanites fix me by then? Are you lying to me?

NIBBLER (nervous): Err, no, um, I have to go. See ya.

[With that the ship turns upside down and FRY is dropped onto the soft ground of the paradise planet. He tries to activate the gate, but finds that the dialling device is gone. He decides to improve his skills instead. He accesses his wristamajiggle and begins reading.]

FRY: Ok, it says here that reality is nothing more than what the mind perceives. Hmmm, how can I use that. Too bad the direct download can’t be used develop this power. It is just too much too fast, I hate things that take time! I just hope everyone is ok back on the ship.

[We now see everyone back on the ship, the Big brain is there and the rest of the crew are all doing as he commands.]

BIG BRAIN: I command you to do something entertaining. That bastard has been gone way longer than I thought he would.

[Amy looks at Kif and tackles him to the ground kissing him.]

BIG BRAIN: NO! not that! I have long evolved beyond liking that sort of thing! You basic humans are so disgusting! Um, just sit there and don’t think or something. Where did that stupid kid go off to anyway. Oh well it need not matter, those he loves are under my power and he would dare not desert them.

[Back on the planet Eden we see FRY sitting with legs crossed on a rock in a field.]

[He concentrates and perceives himself to have a laser pistol in his hand. He looks down and nothing is there.]

FRY: What I rip. I knew this book was crap.

[He looks down again and there is a high powered pistol in his hand.]

FRY: WOW!!! It does work! I wonder what else I can make.

[He concentrates more and a larger gun appears in his hands.]

FRY: I wonder if maybe I…hmmmm…

[He concentrates and a picture of LEELA appears in his hands.]

FRY: I will save you my love! I swear it!

[He puts down the picture and really concentrates. He forms armour, weapons, computers, anything he can remember the intricate detail of what makes up that object.]

FRY: Well, that is good, now for the next chapter.

[He begins reading.]

FRY: Hmmmm….this is interesting. It says that when you bring something to yourself, it is not that object that moves, but rather the space around it. And so in a way, you are in face bending a part of yourself. Bender would like this chapter.

[He concentrates and some fruit come off a tree and he eats it.]

FRY: Well, I think I can do better than that.

[He concentrates again and lifts a huge boulder. He then materializes a cardboard cut out of the big brain, and then smashes it with the rock.]

FRY: This is fun, lets see now, chapter three, mind reading. I could really use this!

[It has now been a few days, and we see FRY on top of a mountain sitting on a rocky point. Lightning strikes behind him, and he opens his eyes.]

FRY: The sun, the moon, reality itself is my servant. I will face my fears! I shall let is pass though me! I am the one!

[With that he goes to the gate and slowly waves his hand over his head. The gate instantly activates and he steps through. We then see nibbler watching from a battle ship high in orbit around the planet.]

NIBBLER: He has grown in power greatly. Ready the troops! We have to destroy all evidence of the brain spawn once he wins.

[FRY rematerializes on the other side of the gate to find a familiar evil waiting for him.]

BIG BRAIN: I have been waiting for you.

FRY: You got nothing on me! If you want to destroy the Fry wave you have to kill me!

[FRY runs through the ship with the Big brain close behind.]

BIG BRAIN: You can’t run forever, floating is so much easier.

FRY: Good point, I need a lift and a weapon.

[A 50 caliber desert eagle appears in FRYs hands and he runs up the wall, shooting at he brain.]

BIG BRAIN: HA! You think that little thing can stop me! Hey, what are you doing.

[The desert eagle changes form, and turns into a sixty caliber chain gun. FRY shoots a hail of lead at the brain, but all the smaller ones block for it. They are struck and deflate.]

FRY: Damn! Out of lead.

BIG BRAIN: Looks like the ball is in my court now!

FRY: Not yet it isn’t!

[He sends a psychic blast of thought to the brain. Images and sounds of happiness and love. The exact opposite of what the brain has in it’s squishy liquid core.]

BIG BRAIN: AHHHH!!!! It burns!

FRY: I have you now!

BIG BRAIN: Not yet! Come any closer and your precious love gets it!

[A door opens to show LEELA restrained by the others, Amy has a laser pistol poised and ready to shoot.]

BIG BRAIN: Don’t think that the Nanites will help either, I have deactivated them with an EMP wave. You can’t stop them!

FRY (thinking): I need a plan.

[He concentrates and reads the minds of the others.]

FRY: Damn! They are mindless slaves! They are not able to fight their controller!

BIG BRAIN: That is right! Now go kill yourself, or your wife dies!

FRY: I will have to do something. Wait! I have an idea!

[FRY runs into the cargo bay and activates the gate. He runs through and appears on earth. The brain comes out slightly after FRY comes out.]

BIG BRAIN: FOOL!! You have only led me to the greatest source of powerful mind slaves in the universe!

FRY: Still have to kill me to be sure!

[He runs back through the gate and comes out the other side to see everyone passed out on the ground.

FRY: I HAVE TO CLOSE THE IRIS!!!

[He activates the Iris, and the metal shudder closes over the gate. There is a momentary pause, then a loud bang is heard coming from the gate.]

[We now see nibbler come trough from another corridor with other nibbonians and eat all the brains on the ship.]

NIBBLER: FRY I thank you, you have saved the universe from it’s second greatest threat. We are really in your debt now.

FRY: How did you get here so fast?

NIBBLER: The gate, but I have something more important to tell you. We are the first race, knows as the Furlings. The ancients were neighbours with us, but they left our region of space long ago. The Nox are the gate builders, there are gates all over this insane universe. Why do you think there are six dialing coordinates per galaxy? Seven for an out side galaxy, and eight for going clear across the universe, each level requires ten times the power as the last. All you have to do is make the right dialling computer and lock in the point of origin.

FRY: So we can go to just about any class M in the universe?

NIBBLER: Yes, if you know the coordinates, but we are not telling.

[The other nibblonians leave and their ship takes off and leaves through the gate. Nibbler dawns his signature cape and does his insane routine.]

FARNSWORTH: What was that?

FRY: I destroyed the second greatest threat to humanity ever, the brain spawn.

LEELA: Oh God, not this again.

AMY: Yeah, I mean abrakaduh, you just made that whole thing up.

FRY: But I showed you in my dream that it really happened.

LEELA: So? You can shape dreams into anything you want, once I dreamt of falling in love with Zapp, Now that was a NIGHTMARE.

HERMES: It was a crappy story and everything.

BENDER: Yeah, I mean nibbler being an intelligent little rat, come on.

FRY: You mean you don’t remember any of it? Trying to kill me, or sleep with me?

LEELA: Ok, that is just wrong, I have a ship to pilot, we still have to find a class M to land on you know. Life support may only hold for a few more days.

[Just then nibbler came into the room and gave FRY an evil smirk. Everyone went back to fixing the ship after the huge battle that raged.]

FRY: Stupid little rat.

NIBBLER: You wish bitch!

FRY: Did any of you just hear that?

FARNSWORTH: I think that brain wave of yours has gone to your head.

FRY: That is it! I am going into a stasis pod and not coming out, until I can show you all what I saw!

[With that the disgruntled FRY submerged himself in a stasis pod, and did not come out for a long time.]

[It has been several hours since FRY went into stasis, when strange things begin to occur.]

AMY: Hey, where is my hair dryer?

HERMES: All my documents are strewn about my room! Who did this!?

FARNSWORTH: I keep hearing voices in my head.

AMY: And you didn’t before?

FARNSWORTH: Well, not this one. It is not the usual ones at least.

LEELA: I can almost feel FRY watching me, like he is there next to me, but is really not.

BENDER: I think I saw a two….I’m scared.

AMY: This is all too weird, and I will find out what is going on around here!

[They all fan out to look for what was really going on, on the ship.]

[Meanwhile in a human meat packing plant back on earth, something strange is happening. A large pile of meat begins quivering, and smaller pieces join the bloody heap, A la terminator two, the heap reforms and takes on a human shape. It grows skin, hair, a nose, and a mouth. Arms spring forth along with legs. The huge mess finally finishes and forms a man. The man quickly runs into a janitors closet, and comes out looking like someone very familiar.]

SCRUFFY: Scruffy knew that was no regular aspirin.

MAN: Who the heck are you?!

SCRUFFY: Scruffy, janitor.

MAN: Oh, ok then, go to the circle on the floor and stand there a minute. I am going to send you to clean a very important persons office.

[Scruffy does what he is told and rings come up from the floor, he is dematerialized and re-materializes in a darkened office.]

RA: The trash is over there, and don’t leave marks on the carpet!

[Scruffy goes over to the trash and begins to make conversation.]

SCRUFFY: So, scruffy reckons that you are the head honcho around here.

RA: Indeed. I am the last of my kind. And ancient race of all mighty parasites that take human hosts and control them.

SCRUFFY: So, you are the one in charge of the entire MDOP?

RA: Yes, NOW bow down before your new GOD!!!

[Scruffy reluctantly does so. After he leaves the office, he heads for the Planet Express Building. Upon entering, he notices the doorframe to the lab is not any ordinary kind.]

SCRUFFY: Scruffy thinks he has seen this before.

[He dials the gate, remembering how it was done from his hallucinations. He steps though and come out on the Planet Express Ship to find the crew menacingly pointing guns at him.]

FARNSWORTH: Who the heck are you?

SCRUFFY: Scruffy, janitor.

AMY: Wait, I thought you were dead.

SCRUFFY: Magic aspirin.

LEELA: So you took the nanites too huh?

SCRUFFY: Guess so.

HERMES: Did you learn anything about the MDOP other than they are a tyrannical force bent on taking over the universe.

SCRUFFY: Yep. They led by this freak with dem glowen eyes calls himself Ra. Doesn’t even sort the paper and plastic trash.

LEELA: You mean the guy who tried to kill us twice before!

FARNSWORTH: I hate that guy.

LEELA: Well, we know we are up against someone with more power than the rest of the universe.

BENDER: Were boned. I’m going to watch TV.

[Bender goes and turns on the news.]

AMY: Why the news, it is always the same taking over the universe crap.

LEELA: Shhhh..we might learn something.

[On screen]

LINDA: In other news, Ra is fine after an assassination attempt upon his arrival to rule his children in LA today.

MORBO: He sustained injuries that would otherwise kill a normal man. Doctors approximate five bullets to the chest and three to the head or the ancient fifty calibre sniper rifle variety. Truly his feat of survival astounds even Morbo.

LINDA: Yes, just more proof that Ra is God.

[We now see the Planet Express crew discussing what they just heard.]

LEELA: Well, looks like everyone now thinks he is God. It will be harder to make them rise up against them now.

AMY: And, he is nearly impossible to kill at that. I mean five to the chest and three to the head? That is incredible!

FARNSWORTH: Oh my, they must have found my nanite blueprints. He is nearly immortal now.

LEELA: Well, how do you kill someone with nanites?

FARNSWORTH: Well you would have to vaporize them, but that would be nearly impossible. You would have to vaporize nearly a lot of the body to do that, and that is impossible to do with the security he must have around him; you would never be able to hide the blaster.

LEELA: No, we just need a plan, that is all. Come on we have to wake FRY to tell him what we know.

[They go to the stasis pod and open it. A half naked FRY falls to the floor coughing out the green liquid.]

FRY: It’s about damn time! I forgot how to let myself out of the tube. I was trying to get your attention this whole time!

LEELA: So you were the one freaking us all out.

FRY: Yeah, I developed a new power though. I can now use remote viewing. I can see anything anywhere on this ship. Cool huh?

AMY: NO! I had better not find you looking at me in the shower!

LEELA: I had better not find out you did!

FRY: Hey now, I only want to look at LEELA, you all know that.

LEELA: Well, that’s good.

FRY: Why did you wake me anyhow?

AMY: To tell you that we now know who the secret leader is.

FRY: Who?

FARNSWORTH: I am afraid you will not like this, it is your old friend Ra.

FRY: WHAT!!! This is bad, this is real bad. How did you find out anyway?

FARNSWORTH: And he has been enhanced with nanites.

AMY: Look we all should take a break, this is troubling news I know.

[It is now lunch time, and the crew are all dismayed at what they have to eat.]

AMY: Gu’h! I can’t take it anymore!

BENDER: Don’t worry bender used his special essence of flavour.

[They all eat the meal, and then start to hallucinate.]

FRY: WOW!!! This food is great! It is so good, I think I will have more!

LEELA: Me too!

AMY: It is so different! I love it!

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, a very good meal.

[They all eat the food in a hurry. And have seconds.]

 

[Some time later, FRY is in bed, and awakens next to his beautiful one eyed wife.]

LEELA: Wha? Is it morning already?

FRY: No, I just can’t sleep.

LEELA: Why?

FRY: I have been having these dreams lately, of technical diagrams and machinery. The kind the ship is made of, and I can’t make them stop.

LEELA: Maybe you should write them down, you know drain out the system.

FRY: Maybe your right. I think I will get started early.

LEELA: Oh no you don’t. You have something in want.

FRY: What?

[Without any hesitation LEELA grabs FRY and t they begin kissing. She pins him to the bed, but FRY pushes her away.]

LEELA: What’s wrong? You never turned me down before.

FRY: I just can’t, I men I don’t even see you right now, there are freaking diagrams in front of my face, I have to get this out of my system.

[He blindly stumbles to the computer room and locks the door, he is in there for the rest of the night.]

 

[A few hours later LEELA awoke a little cold and disappointed that FRY would leave her like that, she was used to having FRY’s warm embrace to awaken in, but she knew he simply had to take care of something, so she decided to take this time to use it on herself. She ran a hot bath, got in and added bath oils and exotic salts to the mix.]

LEELA: Ahhhhh, this is just what I needed. All I have managed to do since we have left is take a shower, now the only thing missing is my husband next to me. I wish he were here right now.

[In the computer room, FRY is taken out of his nano upload trance, when he feels what his wife yearns for. He saves the data and goes into their room with a bottle of campaign to surprise his wife. When he comes in, he accidentally sees her naked in the bath, and he jumps back startled.]

FRY: Oh! Sorry! I didn’t know you wanted some alone time. I will be back I a little while then.

LEELA: Like hell you are! I have been alone almost my whole life. I would like nothing better than you here with me, NOW!

[FRY undressed and joined his wife in the bath for a morning of romance, lets just leave it at that.]

[Two hours later the husband and wife couple come to the bridge to find Amy at the controls scanning for a class M planet, and Kif busy modifying a console.]

FRY: What are you doing there Kif?

KIF: I have modified this otherwise useless console to scan all nearby space for the presence of naquadah.

FRY: Good, say Amy, any luck on finding a class M?

AMY: Not yet, there is one that is close, the air is Ok, but the planet is a wasteland and not all that hospitable.

LEELA: Well, we will just have to keep searching.

[Just then we hear the engines power down.]

AMY: We’ve just lost power!

LEELA: The cooling vents are clogged! We have to land!

FRY: Looks like the wasteland is the best place right now.

[The ship makes a rough landing on a rocky hilltop. The crew get out to survey the area and repair the ship.]

FARNSWORTH: Oh my, I feared this. The cooling and exhaust vents are clogged up with dark matter residue. This ship was never made for really prolonged space travel.

LEELA: Can we clean it out?

FARNSWORTH: Indeed we can, but someone small will have to get in there and clean the ducts.

[Everyone looks at Amy, who is the smallest one of all.]

AMY: Oh no, I am not going in there. Can’t we get your little techno bugs to do it?

FRY: No, they are not made to work in there, I never knew the vents could get clogged anyway, so I never equipped them to take care of it.

AMY: You do realize I hate you all right now, right?

 

[Some time later.]

LEELA: How those vents coming Amy?

AMY: Fine, just fine! You stick me in here and expect me to just clean without question, this may take a little more time than the professor thought.

LEELA: You know if you just get it done we can get out of here sooner.

AMY: Well you know if you fed Nibbler some more fiber we wouldn’t have this problem.

FRY: This is boring. I am going to look at those old Pyramid ruins. Anyone want to come?

LEELA: I will.

FARNSWORTH: Me too. The lab is getting a little boring.

KIF: I will come too. I don’t really have much to do here.

HERMES: I wish I could come, but I have to sort out this database you made FRY. It is not very organized you know.

FRY: What can I tell you. I made it on the go as the knowledge came out of my head.

HERMES: You filled Five hard drives mon!

FRY: So, it can’t be that much, can it?

HERMES: Oh only 900 omega bytes, that is half the memory on the main computer!

FRY: Well see you all soon.

[They all go outside and walk to the ancient ruins. They are of pyramids. Everyone goes inside the first one.]

FRY: Wow, this place is huge!

LEELA: Hey, look there are ancient hieroglyphics.

AMY: Can anyone read them?

FRY: I downloaded a bunch of languages before the MDOP; thought it could come in useful on our journeys through space. It says that there once was a great race of snakes, born out of these very swamps. They took the primitive life on this planet as hosts, and managed to build a great empire that took over the entire galaxy, but then they went against an alliance of four great races, and lost. Their last hope was to find a new home, and that is where it ends.

LEELA: Well, I am only guessing, but I think that Ra is the last one of that race. He is fulfilling his destiny of taking over the entire universe. They must have left this world when the swamps dried up.

FARNSWORTH: Hey, I have analyzed the soil here, it seems that it is full of Naquadah. We could process it and that will give us enough fuel to go anywhere.

KIF: Oh my, this place would be the target of all Ra’s Power. He would really like to get his hands on this place.

FRY: Don’t worry he must have left like a few thousand years ago. He probably forgot where this place is.

LEELA: I can have Amy make the processing plant. It will be easy, we will have to use some things from the ship though.

FRY: Good, but I have to be alone for a while, nobody follow me.

[He walks off to a large stone slab and begins to climb.]

KIF: What was that all about?

LEELA: If I were you, I would do as he says. I have been reading his book. It said that to tap his power he has to push himself very far, to the point of near death before he can reach a state of enlightenment.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, ancient monks have done it for centuries. I just hope he lives.

KIF: Um, we should get back and make the processing equipment.

[They all head back to the ship, while FRY climbs. He reaches the top easily enough, he sits and crosses his legs. He begins to concentrate. Back on the ship, everyone is making the processing equipment.]

AMY (from in a vent): Well the ducts are almost clean, hey where’s FRY?

LEELA: Off on some spirit enlightenment thing.

AMY: Oh, well then, what did you find?

FARNSWORTH: We found some things about Ra, his people and his past, but nothing very useful other than the fact that the soil here is full of naquadah.

AMY: We will need that to get home, but we do need to make the processing equipment.

LEELA: We can use FRYs notes to do it.

FARNSWORTH: Well we can use the lab, let’s get to work.

[They begin to assemble the different parts, we now go to see FRY on top of mountain, it begins to snow and the wind begins to blow.]

FRY: I must continue on my quest. I must become like water, fluid, able to change for at will, and yet strong, able to crush boulders into dust.

[He continues for the rest of the day. We now see that the crew have assembled the device and have lowered it out of the cargo bay.]

LEELA: Ok, lets get is started.

[The professor pushes some buttons and the device starts up. It sends out tentacles and draws soil into it. It then sends out large cubes of pure naquadah.]

FARNSWORTH: This device is impressive.

AMY: Yeah, at this rate we will have enough to go to any point in the universe and back at least a dozen times on a single tank.

LEELA: But the engine doesn’t use solid naquadah, only FRY knows how to make it a heavy liquid.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, I had to have him create it before and fill the tanks in my lab, but he always destroyed the processing device.

KIF: Sounds like he was smarter than he looks. The DOOP were planning a raid to capture things in the lab and hopefully get some of that advanced technology.

LEELA: Speaking of him, I hope he is alright. It is beginning to rain and snow.

HERMES: He will be fine, I have faith in him.

LEELA: Since when do you have faith in him?

HERMES: Since he took command back on earth and got us all out of there.

[It is now far into the night and FRY has yet to return. LEELA paces throughout the ship nervously awaiting the return of her love. Just then there is a knock on the airlock door.]

[LEELA runs over and opens the door, a half frozen FRY falls into the open arms of his wife.]

LEELA: HELP!!! FRY IS HURT!

[The crew come running and they take FRY to his and LEELA’s room.]

LEELA: He is wet and frozen! We have to get these wet clothes off him.

[She takes his shirt off and pants soon follow. She throws his nearly dead body into the bed and she covers him.]

AMY: Wait, he will never warm up like that!

[She attaches the blanket to the wall and it begins to heat up.]

LEELA: This is taking too long, we have to heat him up now!

[She gets into the bed with him and holds him in her warm embrace.]

LEELA: My God, he is so cold! Come on damn you! You will not die here! This is not working, he is going into shock!

AMY: I will run a hot bath.

[She runs to the adjoining room and turns on the hot water, LEELA brings the now too cold to shiver FRY to the bathroom and puts him in the bath.]

FRY: Soooooo cooooooooooold.

LEELA: He is still too cold.

[She turns up the heat to maximum and turns on the shower attachment to run the liquid heat over his shivering naked body.]

AMY: Well, it looks like he is going to be just fine. I should try to figure out how to convert that naquadah.

FARNSWORTH: Yeah, we should leave him alone to get some rest.

[Everyone leaves except LEELA, who sits near the bath making sure that he warms up alright, after a few minutes he manages to speak.]

FRY: T-t-t-t-t-a-aa-aa-n-n-n-ks

LEELA: I would never leave you my love.

[With that she undresses and gets into the bath with FRY. She takes him in her embrace once again.]

LEELA: My God! You are chilled to the bones! What were you doing out there so long?

FRY: I saw it.

LEELA: What?

FRY: The vision. I reached my tranquil state of mind.

LEELA: Why did you have to do it? Tell me damn you!

FRY: Too cold, need rest.

[He soon falls asleep in LEELA’s loving warm embrace. She is sure to keep his head above water. She can still fell his cold, and vulnerability. It was several hours before the water began to get cold, and she moved him to the now very warm bed.]

[The next morning FRY finally regains consciousness and is greeted by the sight of his beloved in front of him on the bed, still awake watching over him.]

FRY: Good morning my love.

LEELA: Good morning. I love you too.

[With that she slaps him across the face.]

FRY: Ouch! Why did you do that?

LEELA: You had me worried sick yesterday! You and your stupid training! You could have died!

FRY: Sorry, I just needed to find my tranquil state of mind in order to tap my greatest power.

LEELA: Well right now you have no power, come on and dress in some warm clothes. We made a naquadah miner yesterday, and need your help to make it into liquid naquadah.

FRY: Oh, that, can I just have some more rest. I feel drained from yesterday.

LEELA: Come on we need to get you some nice hot food.

[FRY and LEELA get dressed and head into the kitchen area, where Bender is already making breakfast.]

BENDER: Just finished you two, now eat it all up. I made your favorite, rebel rations!

FRY: Oh God not again.

LEELA: I am going to Eden to get some real food.

FRY: I’m going too.

[The two of them walk though the cargo bay to the stargate.]

AMY: Where are you two going?

FRY: To get some real food.

AMY: Oh, well don’t take too long, I still have to convert this stuff, it is harder than I thought. Its liquid form is highly volatile.

[The couple activate the gate and step through, Amy takes a few steps holding a golden greyish liquid in a vile, she drops it and there is an explosion that blackens her face.]

AMY: Why am I so damn clumsy?

[LEELA and FRY step though the gate on the other side, and are aw struck by the sheer beauty of the landscape.]

LEELA: No matter how many times I come here I still can’t help but be overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the land here.

FRY: Hey, I feel my strength returning. This place works wonders for the body and soul.

LEELA: I swear if we didn’t bring the gate with us I would have gone mad on that ship.

FRY: Well I will get the fruit, you get some meat.

LEELA: Alright, see you in an hour.

[They part company, meanwhile back on the ship.]

AMY: Ok, just be careful, this is really volatile, must not drop.

[Just then the new vile drops from her test tube holder and explodes.]

AMY: This is not my day. PROFESSOR!

FARNSWORTH: What?

AMY: Can you make the liquid naquadah?

FARNSWORTH: Why not just have FRY do it, besides are the vents clean yet?

AMY: Not yet, I still have to do the port side vent.

FARNSWORTH: Well then Run a full ship diagnostic and clean out those vents.

AMY: Alright.

[She goes to the bridge and runs a full systems diagnostic.]

AMY: Well, This is going to take a long while. I should get back to cleaning those damn vents.

[She heads back into the cargo bay lab.]

AMY: Hey professor, the full system diagnostic is on its way, but it will take a long time.

FARNSWORTH: No matter, I have reviewed FRY’s notes, and it says that to convert the naquadah into a heavy liquid takes a long time, and there is not much of a yield.

AMY: Oh well, I just hope that he gets back with some breakfast. I have been waiting for an original meal for a really long time.

[She climbs into the vent from the outside and begins to scrub it clean. Just then there is the sound of the engines powering up.]

AMY: What the? Oh crap! AHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Amy is blown out of the vent and flies very far through the air. She hits back first on a large rock and is impaled by an old tree that had been growing out of it long ago. She soon looses consciousness as he blood drips to the ground below and she slumps over dead….for now.]

[Back on Eden, we see FRY picking a lot of fruit with his mind and levitating it behind him.]

FRY: I wonder what LEELA is up to. I think I will practice some remote viewing and find where she is.

[He closes his eyes and concentrates on LEELA, an image appears of her by a stream catching fish, or more like fish jumping up and slapping her in the face.]

FRY: Heh, still doesn’t quite have the hang of it yet. Oh well, I think we have enough fruit now. I should tell her to go back to the gate.

[He concentrates and we now see a shaken LEELA by the river scratching her head.]

LEELA: What the? Did I just hear FRY telling me to go back to the gate? This is weird, oh well, he learns something new every day.

[She gathers up the fish and heads to the gate, she sees FRY already there waiting.]

FRY: What took ya?

LEELA: Well first I thought I was going insane, and then I realized you must have picked up that little trick of yours from the book.

FRY :What do you mean, we could telepathically talk when we had nanites, remember?

LEELA: Oh, that, you mean you didn’t know? These new ones have privacy lock. I can’t hear your thoughts, and we aren’t put into that dark void when we sleep, unless we want to, you mean you didn’t know?

FRY: So that’s why we haven’t been there since we got our new nanites. I was wondering about that.

LEELA: So when did you pick up this true telepathy thing?

FRY: Yeah, just learned it yesterday, and I saw that you still don’t have the hang of fishing here yet. You should go take a shower.

LEELA: Hey wait, how did you, oh wait, remote viewing right?

FRY: You know it! I can also do this.

[He waves his arm over his head and the gate activates.]

LEELA: You never cease to amaze me.

FRY: Come on, the crew are probably dying to get a taste of this food we got.

LEELA: Yeah, Amy especially. Lets go.

[They both step through the gate and come out in the cargo bay.]

FARNSWORTH: Good thing you arrived, we should all go to have the meal now.

[They head into the kitchen area to find everyone else already there waiting for some of that delicious food.]

HERMES: Hey, it is not cooked.

FRY: No need, check it out.

[He places a fish on a plate and it immediately cooks itself, to the astonishment of the rest of the crew.]

HERMES: That is what I’d call fast food.

LEELA: Where’s Amy?

FARNSWORTH: She should be back soon, I told her to clean out the rest of the vents.

[They all have a seat and chow down on the delicious fish, along with various fruits except for oranges. After breakfast the crew get to talking a bit.]

FRY: Ok, it will be easy. We should get done before dinner time.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, I will unveil to you all my latest invention then as well, please nobody go to the back of the lab today, I will be very busy.

LEELA: I still need to check on the ship. See what the systems diagnostic has found so far.

LA BARBARA: I still got to sort out the things in our quarters.

HERMES: And I still have to organize all the computer files for the third time.

FRY: Ok then, we all have our jobs to do, lets go do them.

[They all leave the table and go to do what they said they would. We now see FRY and the professor in the cargo bay lab working with some devices.]

FRY: Alright, did you attach this crystal to the device before inserting he naquadah?

FARNSWORTH: No, I thought you had to have the naquadah inside for it to work, but it just kept exploding on me.

FRY: I see, well it is really easy to understand. This part crushes the naquadah, this part turns it onto a liquid, and the last part purifies it. We still have to make the storage tanks and an mechanism to put in the solid naquadah.

FARNSWORTH: That should be easy, it will take time to get the things we need though.

FRY: Shouldn’t Amy be done by now? It has been a few hours I haven’t heard from her all day.

FARNSWORTH: Oh my no! It takes a very long time to clean out the vents, not to mention a full systems diagnostic takes at least 24 hours.

[We now see LEELA on the bridge twiddling her thumbs looking at a huge loading bar that is increasing very slowly. She is also reading the checks as they happen.]

LEELA: This has got to be the most boring job ever. Well might as well do it right, now lets see. Dark matter engines are at 300% efficiency, the dark matter fuel tanks are full, reserve is a little low though. I should give nibbler some more food. Well what else is there…..Hey, looks like there was a clog in the port side vent earlier today, but the computer shows that is blew it out, looks like Amy finally got the job done. Still a little dirty though.

 

[Several hours later, it is now dinner time and the crew are all assembled to give their reports on what has happened today.]

SCRUFFY: Scruffy thinks that you all need to wipe your feet before entering rooms, also try to separate the trash, it makes scruffy’s job a lot easier. We need to use it all again you know.

FARNSWORTH: FRY and I made the solid to liquid conversion machinery today. All that is left to do is stock up the four storage rooms in the back of the ship in the engine room with the solid naquadah.

FRY: What else did you do? We finished early you know.

FARNSWORTH: I have also made some new improvements to the ship, this will strike fear in the hearts of men. I have created naquadah powered chain gun lasers along with missiles and torpedoes with naquadah enhanced warheads. These can cut a battle fleet in half. I would dare to say that we could get through earth’s defenses with these new weapons.

FRY: Maybe, but we still need to enhance the shields, and perhaps enhance the cloaking device to allow us to get in without having to fire a single shot.

LEELA: Well, I have bad news.

FRY: What?

LEELA: The life support is damaged beyond repair. When we landed it gave out. Every last bit of the core life support systems is dead. We will have to fix up a new one.

FRY: Well how do we do that?

LEELA: It will take about a day or two to do. We will need plants and things like that. The computers for the system are fried, but the devices are still functional, we just have to put together a new system. However the air purification part is shot. All the scrubbers have been used up. This ship was never meant to sustain a crew for this long.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, a most troubling problem. I will be able to make the adjustments necessary to route the new systems though another computer, but the air will be a little harder to fix.

LEELA: On the first mars mission they used their waste to fertilize the plants and the plants would in turn purify the water as well as produce Oxygen. The system will be archaic, but it is the best hope we have until we can buy some more scrubbers and another life support computer.

FRY: Well it is settled then, lets get to work. Say where is Amy? I haven’t seen her all day. There is no way she is still cleaning the vents.

FARNSWORTH: Oh my! I told her to run a full systems diagnostic and then clean out the vents this can not be good.

FRY: What do you mean?

FARNSWORTH: The diagnostic checks the hardware of the ship as well as the software, that means she could have been blown out of the vents when the diagnostic ran an engine check!

LEELA: We have to go find her!

Amy (angry): Too late.

[The crew turn to see a dirty and badly injured Amy with torn clothes, vulture bites, and a strangely large hole through the front of her sweat suite.]

AMY: Thanks for coming to find me today as I rotted in the desert stuck to a huge rock under the blazing sun being pecked at by vultures. Now if you excuse me I have a huge knot in my back and am going to take a nice warm bath in the secondary bathroom. See you all tomorrow.

[She turns and we see her profile as she angrily walks off, there is a huge tree limb sticking out of her lower back. Apparently from earlier in the day. The entire crew begin laughing at he misfortune of their comrade, and at the irony that she had no idea there was a two foot chunk of wood sticking out of her back.]

FRY :Well now that that is over, let’s get to work.

[They all go to get some supplies, FRY and LEELA go to Eden to get some plants.]

FRY: Well, if we are going to get plants might as well be some plants we can all enjoy.

LEELA: Yeah, I will get some tomato and cucumber plants, you get some grape and berry bushes.

FRY: Too bad we can only get bush things for this. I really wanted some apples or bananas or something.

LEELA: We still can, just get a sample, we can make them into bushes using the DNA re-organizer on the ship.

[They go and gather the things, later on they come back to the ship with the plants they need.]

LA BARBARA: I tought dem Eden plants wont grow anywhere but the paradise planet.

FRY: Not quite, their powers don’t work, but they will be just like any other orange or grape plant.

HERMES: We need more plants than that. You crazy mon?

LEELA: We don’t want to disturb the environment, it would be a shame to destroy paradise.

FRY: Yeah, we could just use the clone-o-matic anyway.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, I will get it warmed up. Now run along, I have a lot of work to do tonight. We will have to turn these trees into small bushes, and build the systems to sustain the new plants.

[They all walk off to their quarters, it is late, we see FRY and LEELA in their room.]

FRY: I don’t know what we should do. I mean if we do finally get off this rock, we could maybe make a living out there, but taking down something like the MDOP would be nearly impossible.

LEELA: Say, how does the hyperdrive work anyway?

FRY: Well, that has nothing to do with what I am talking about, but if you have to know, the hyperdrive makes a window into the fifth dimension of time and space, it is a tesseract that allows for very fast movement relative to where we are, the fourth dimension. There is a problem of time distortion, but the time cancellation device takes care of that.

LEELA: How does your ancient CD player work?

FRY: I dunno. How?

LEELA: I knew it. You really only know what the ancients did. But when it comes to things from our technology you have no idea.

FRY: Yeah, your right. I could fix the hyperdrive blindfolded, but the microwave still confuses me a bit.

LEELA: You can’t win them all. But back to what you were saying, I also have no idea what to do. This stuff is so complicated.

FRY: We need a plan. But for now let’s just go to bed.

LEELA: Good point, we will need the energy for tomorrow, big day ahead.

[They go to sleep. We see a technobug cleaning up the corridor outside their room. Some others are mounting potted plants in decorative pots on the wall, while others are watering them.]

[The next day, we see the crew assembled on the bridge for a meeting.]

FRY: Alright everyone, enough of this deep space business. We have everything we need to continue the journey, so I would like to make a plan for it. Any questions.

AMY: Well, what will we do, and where will we go?

FRY: Good questions, first we will go through space, and we will go to wherever there is something to do that is fun and life threatening.

AMY: You mean deliver packages?

FRY: Not quite, mercenary is what I was thinking of.

LEELA: That is your big plan? I think you haven’t thought this through completely.

FRY: I have actually. Earth is an impenetrable diamond of a defense grid, along with the rest of our little solar system. The only power out there that has a chance is the omnicronians. And they are beginning to flinch. Our only hope is to gain power and live out our days trying to undermine the MDOP. First step is to be mercenaries.

FARNSWORTH: Well, that is a stupid idea. We could give some technology to the rebels, and have them do it all for us. Not to mention it would be a better plan. The rebels have gained considerable power in recent days, now that the universe knows the true face of the MDOP.

FRY: Well, actually that is a better idea. Speaking of the massive hacking thing we did, do we still have that virus embedded in their systems?

AMY: We should, but it has become a lot harder to access the data remotely. They can now track every web login that has to do with any MDOP server of network.

FRY: Can we cover our tracks?

AMY: No, they have hired the best hackers on the business to safeguard their systems, I am no match for it.

FRY: Damn, at least we can get off this planet right?

FARNSWORTH: That brings us to my part of the meeting. Last night I had those bug things replicate and they have set up four green rooms full of plants and such at key parts of the ship, not to mention put greenery in many other places. So the air is fine, I also took the liberty of setting up the new life support system computer. It is an old one I had in a closet. I also made a new invention, this is a subspace hyper encoded modem. It links and encodes all data through two million dummy computer networks, covering its tracks the whole way using a 200 omega-bit encryption code, with this even the best hackers will take at least five hours to find us, so we can now go onto the net and take care of business there.

LEELA: Will it work?

FARNSWORTH: Indeed it will. Now let me go on! I also installed all the new weapons and boosted the shields by adding a second and third layer, not to mention boosting their power. Also I created this!

[He opens the blinds to reveal a stargate at the base of the pyramid outside.]

FARNSWORTH: Now we have one more place to go, also we can get all the naquadah we want from this planet.

HERMES: Good, what other planets do we have gates on though?

FRY: Well, there is one on earth, one on Eden, one now here, and one on the ship, not to mention the one I stashed on that youth goo planet. That makes five places on our network right professor?

FARNSWORTH: Indeed, but I plan to make more. This gate is just what the universe needs to get to anywhere from anywhere else. We could revolutionize the way people travel in general, and make ungodly amounts of money too.

LEELA: Wait, what do you mean by our network?

FRY: Nibbler told me there are gates on just about every class M in the universe, and that we can dial them all if we know the coordinates.

AMY: Will you ever stop with that nibbler stuff. You seem like your old stupid self every time you tell us about it.

LEELA: Anyway I agree that we should market the gate system, we could make trillions.

FRY: Well we will never get to do that if the MDOP is allowed to exist. Now we will need a plan.

LEELA: I say we go to the rebels and give them some technology. Just some throwaway item that we don’t want.

FRY: I could give them some basic weapons, and shield technology, archaic to what we have, but enough for an edge against the MDOP.

AMY: What about the bounty hunters?

FRY: We can handle them, besides with the cloaking or mimic device we can look like some harmless freighter or even a part of the MDOP. Not to mention the fact that we have the advantage here.

AMY: Point taken, I just want all this to be over so that I can see my mom and dad again. I want to show them how Kif has changed since joining up, before he was all tentative and timid, now he is a lot less timid.

KIF (macho): Damn strait bitch!

AMY: See.

FRY: Rrrrright, um well can we go yet?

LEELA: Not quite, the naquadah tanks are not full yet.

FRY: Well if we are going to fight Ra, we need to know more about him. I need to go to the pyramid, coming LEELA?

LEELA: Sure, let’s go.

[They head off to the pyramid, while the others get to work readying the ship for the missions ahead.]

FRY: Hey, some hieroglyphics I didn’t see before.

LEELA: I know what they say, I too downloaded the translations from the ship’s database.

FRY: Well then what does it say?

LEELA: It tells of how this civilization was whipped out, but some survived, they saw the downfall of the great four races, apparently they interbred, forming one race, but there was a genetic disease, and they were destroyed. I can’t seem to make out their name, this part is faded, but it says here they made one last database of all their knowledge and died out.

FRY: So Ra is the last of their kind huh, and this other super race has a massive database of all their knowledge somewhere or even here for all we know.

LEELA :Yeah, now let me finish. It also said that before the super being combo race created through the interbreeding died out the last of them figured out how to ascend? What the heck is that?

FRY: I don’t know, it is in the last chapter of my book though.

LEELA: Well why don’t you read it?

FRY: Too dangerous, when I downloaded the book before, I almost lost my mind. That is why I erased it all from my memory, and now still have to work with the book.

LEELA: I see, but this place is huge, we may never find out the secret to defeating Ra.

FRY: Have faith LEELA, we will find a way, or destroy this technology trying. Although I too have my doubts. He is so powerful now, it seems almost hopeless.

LEELA: You too are powerful, I never thought that you would ever have powers and stuff like you do now.

FRY: I know, but I just wish I could know more about this than I do. It is so frustrating, especially now that I have all this knowledge, but can’t use it for fear of its capture and use to destroy.

LEELA: Good will prevail, just remember that.

 

[THE END]

EPOLOGUE: This is not the end! There is still much more to do, so many more people to see, an ancient evil to kill. Perhaps the secret may be on the path not taken. Perhaps…..

I need your ideas to finish this damn fan fiction. I want to have the next episode along with the one after be in space with them gaining knowledge and power and such, got any ideas?

Send me comments and suggestions about what the next story should contain, I will give you a hint, it has to do completely with alternate realities, I already have the last reality planed, I just need some others that show what could have happened and the emotional turmoil that breaks out because of this knowledge.

You know the realities, Amy a nun, LEELA with two eyes, al Gore and the destroyed universe, that sort of insane stuff. I am out of ideas in this department, and want to take a break from the master plot a bit, so help me out, so that I may help you all out.

This will not finish without your help, so send me comments and suggestions to Getak2003@hotmail.com. Or send whatever the hell you want to me, criticize me, burn me, compliment me, whatever, just send mail to me!

Buddies