Fan Fiction

The Best of Times and Worst of Times, Part 5
By Kriebs

Well, I bid you welcome, and here is Part 5. It will be about Leela, Fry and Doctor Zoidberg returning from a delivery that started uneventful, but it turns out quite eventful in the end for the Planet Express’s beloved Doctor. Good thing he has two good friends to help him right to the end. It will definitely be a delivery to remember. A delivery that Fry never forgot, and something he finds buried in the past brings it out into the present. So without further delay or spoiling. I give you Part 5, and I hope you enjoy. Oh yeah! It does get a little mushy and violent! So, those with weak constitutions please beware!

(Leela’s valiant struggle against the Dark Matter nightmare mess in the engine room was in full swing, and in the meantime Fry was in the PE locker room busily sorting through his locker completely unaware of his better half’s troubles and struggle for the moment. Fry had removed his heavily insulted jacket and thinsulate gloves to work more freely. His locker was full of all sorts of items ranging from equipment, clothing, weapons and assorted memories. Digging into his locker now was certainly a lot easier since he had trained himself and kicked the bad habit of being a slob, and that was partially thanks to a certain purple haired Cyclops as he thought to himself.)

(Getting rid of his more undesirable habits had been a bit of a challenge, but he done it to please his love and in doing that it made him a better man. In the end he finally came to realize that Leela was right about most things, and was only trying to help because she cared. He had made the efforts to change and do better, and she seemed pleased with the results. It amused him when he thought about how much they had rubbed off on one another since they became a couple. Together they made up for the little things in one another, and accented the best in each other. Married almost two years now, they were an inseparable team and doing things apart seemed unnatural…almost wrong. The two of them had come a long way since they met eight years ago.)

(Fry pulls back from his reverie and looks at his locker. The three years of accumulation was a lot for Fry and he was still a phenomenal pack rat, but kept what he needed in front. The rest in the back of the locker was a bit of a mystery now. His goal was buried some where in the back. (Fry shrugs to himself): “Ah well. Might as well start up front and get what I need first. Time to get my little friends.”)

Fry: (to himself) “Let’s see here….Ah!...“Excalidril”…my blue laser sword. Heh. I can’t say the Professor never gave me anything. Alright…where’s “Old Painless?” “Right where you left it…dumb ass.” Fry pulls out a Taurus Ragging Bull laser pistol. It is very large for a side arm. An 8 3/8 barrel duel action laser pistol in the 45-watt range. It has the power and kick to make an Omcronian do a back flip. “Old Painless” has the grip and heft that Fry finds comfortable, and with its black handle, and sleek metallic finish. The sight of this cannon makes most opposition scatter because they know its bark and bite are the same. Bad. Fry lifts “Old Painless” to eye level and smiles to himself.)

(“You were a parting gift from Marshal Erricks Severem. Heh. What a delivery that was. The three of us were held up, and had the PE Ship rangled right out from under us by out laws during the delivery in New El Paso. Erricks and Meryl were the only ones who were willing to help us. He was the law in those parts. It all came down to that big show down with his brother Knives, and his gang.” (shutters) “Me, Leela, Doctor Zoidberg, Meryl, and Erricks were lucky to walk away from that in one piece. He was true to his word to us, and to his promise to Meryl. Erricks gave me his personal side arm as a thank you, and then put down his star and retired.”)

(“He and Meryl were then moving to Silverton to settle down and start a small homegrown business. We were more than glad to help them pull up stakes and move. That was the least we could do. Boy, Erricks. You thought your hectic days were behind you. Then, Meryl dropped the bomb that she was six weeks pregnant. Heh heh heh. He almost passed out right there. Then Doctor Zoidberg did a courtesy prenatal scan.” (imitates Doctor Zoidberg) “Congratulations! You’re going to be the parents of twins why not.” “Ha ha ha…I never saw any guy running around and screaming like a complete head case as much as he did in that moment. Yeah, Leela and I are going to have to return to Oxtifar and see them again. They insisted in our last communication to swing by and visit them and the twins. It’s been a while since then.” (sighs) “You can’t find good friends like them just around the corner. When we get back we’re going to have to drop them a line. No more putting it off!”)

(Fry next pulls out a large black plasma laser rifle from his locker. “My good old “Boom Stick.” He didn’t have to use this one often, but Fry always made sure he brought it with him. Fry hefts the rifle to eye level and checks the sites and settings. (to himself) “I’ve been lucky that Leela hasn’t seen me use this one that much. Too many questions to answer, and I’m not ready for that yet.” Fry sets the rifle with the other two weapons and extracts a utility belt. Each one of them was more than just a mere weapon. Two of them were gifts, and the other two were an inheritance of sorts. Each had a special story. Then Fry thought about the fourth one. He secured the locker room to maintain its secrecy, and then pulls a small unique key from his from his chain. It’s made of clear polished cut crystal. It’s a genetic security key. Fry starts to extract the contents out of the top of his locker. He is soon near his goal as he’s pulling out his old fighter helmet. Just then, an object falls out of the interior of the upside down helmet. Fry sees what the object is as it is falling in mid air. It registers in his mind very quickly that if he doesn’t catch it with in five seconds, then planet Earth and its entire population are going to be vaporized.)

(The adrenalin rush and his ultra swift reflex help Fry catch the cobalt metallic sphere a split second before it hits the hard floor. Shaking like a leaf, and with his heart pounding, Fry collapses on the near by bench. (panting) “That’s twice now…and…that was too close. Idiot! The Professor and Leela would have rightfully kicked my ass if they had seen that again.” Calming himself, Fry holds the sphere in both hands. (sighs) “I had forgotten that I had one of these Nova Flares left. To think that I’m holding the heart a short life medium yellow star in my hands is a bit disturbing. Heh. I had hoped I used them all up last February. Oh well, I’ll have to think of away to get rid of the last of my Nephew’s brilliant little inventions safely. Until then, I’ll just keep this to myself.” He puts the flare back in the upside down helmet, and sets them on the floor safely out of reach. Fry turns his attention back to what he was secretly going to retrieve from the locker.)

(He pulls out the genetic security key and his HRT folding knife. He pricks the tip of his right index finger and then smears a small amount of blood on the tip of the key, and also on the flat end of the key. Stepping on the bottom of his locker gives him comfortable access into the deep recess of the top. Fry puts his bloody fingertip almost against the metal in the back of locker and waits a second. The invisible sensor registers his unique DNA signature, and reveals the cloaked keyhole. Fry quickly inserts the key and a split second later the sensor requests: “Pass Key?” Fry takes a breath and lets his heightened senses scan around him. Sensing it was secure for the moment he exhales and breathes the words: “Alpha…Philip Jonathan Fry…Maximus…Omega .” “Confirmed Maximus” was the reply. Fry twists the key counter clockwise and opens up the airtight vault. He quickly extracts a security strong box and steps down from the locker with the genetic key. He used the same methods to open the strong box, but a different phrase altogether. Now with the tiring security procedures out of the way, Fry sat down on the nearby bench and opens up the strong box.)

(He remained transfixed on its contents for a moment or two. Then he starts to carefully remove each object, and makes sure that it was all accounted for since it had been a little over a year since he last examined it. The first item was a black leather bound holo journal titled “The Millennium.” It was then followed by large role of three-dimensional star charts, maps, and planet layouts. Next, was a small brown rawhide bag that contained a cash of rare multicolored and perfectly cut crystals. Fry then extracts a well-worn binder of his family’s genealogy that contains information that has been completely lost until recently. Along with the genealogical binder is a large pack of old style print photos of people that he’s never showed or told another soul about, not even Leela. Among these photographs is a pair of broken eyeglasses.)

(Finally, he comes to the last object in the box, but hesitates a moment before extracting it. Then, with great care and reverence, Fry lifts a laser sword into view. This one is very old and very special. An inheritance of sorts. This laser sword is slightly larger, thicker, and a bit more sophisticated than his blue one. It has an overall base black metal body with metallic trim, and multifunction buttons. Fry glides his fingers over the body of the handle until he comes to its heart, the focusing crystal. One that was unique in all the universe because it contained a small fraction of its energy. Fry could sense and feel the unfathomable power thrumming from it. He knew it would shape the course of the future. For good or for evil, the heart of this sword was the key, and it would be up to him and his kin to bring back balance, and set things right.)

(Fry grips the handle with both hands and holds it out a bit for safety sake as he presses the activation button. With a loud Snap Hiss, a vibrant and brilliantly green blade comes to life. He examines and carefully tests it to see that it has not lost any of its power or potency. He could indeed feel its power because it had touch his, and now holding the sword in his left hand Fry touches the center of toned chest. It’s the spot where his own great-inherited power now resides, and he looks down at the deep scar running across the back of his right hand. It was a smaller reminder of that deadly encounter that started over a year ago. He looks up and focuses on his reflection in the long narrow mirror on the back of his locker. The green glow from the blade highlights the mighty cross-shaped scars on the left side of his face, and they were carved into his flesh by the tip of another opponent’s laser blade.)

(Fry’s expression immediately darkens at this most obvious and painful reminder of those terrible confrontations. The more he stares at his reflection the darker his visage becomes. Fry’s entire body starts to tense with the bitterness of those agonizing memories, and his eyes start to burn with an unnatural blue glow. He suddenly becomes aware of what is happening to himself, and what’s around him. Fry immediately closes down the green laser sword, and focuses inward on the raw primal emotions that had risen out of control. With great concentrated effort, he calms himself, and drives the darker fraction of his being back, and puts it into submission.)

(Many moments pass as he calms himself further by using deep breathing, and searching for a more glacial plain of thought. What he had felt moments before was replaced by disappointment, damp fear, and a deep shame of what he let get the better of himself. Fry looks up into the mirror and sees the reflection of himself, diminished. The image staring back now was older, grimly serious, and a little sadder. Not the same man he was three years ago. Then, Fry holds the laser sword to eye level again, and stares at it hard. “I won’t fail you, Adimus. I promise.” (sighs) “He… and I… will have a reckoning when the time comes. And I know it will!”)

(With that proclamation, Fry puts “Excalidar” his mentor’s laser sword, and the other valuable items, including the lethal Nova Flare into the strong box, and then secures it. After a few moments of careful attention to detail the strong box is securely hidden away again, and then Fry unlocks the locker room. He puts his mind at ease now, and goes back to his hunt for the old Holo Phoner case buried in the bottom of his locker.

“Damn it! I’m wasting way too much time just looking for this thing!…I’ve got cargo to load, and…wait…Ahh!…Pay Dirt!” At last, Fry pulls out of his locker an old beat up cardboard box containing various nick knacks and keepsakes. He holds the Holo Phoner case in triumph and smiles when he sees what’s in it. “Well, it still in pretty good shape along with my Holo Phoner, and I still have a majority of the sonnets I wrote including my Opera. I’m going to have to practice out on the voyage to, and back…because I have a promise to keep. I’m going to make a new one… just for you, Leels.)

(Fry puts his Holo Phoner next to its case, along with the sonnets and then sets it a side for the moment. “Let see…What else is in here? Whoa! I thought all my old moves were confiscated by those two idiot cops. I still have Back to the Future I, II, and III.

Star Trek: Nemesis. It’s a miracle I still have that! And The Thirteenth Warrior. Well

I’ll be damned. Leels, and I are going to have to do a heavy-duty movie night some night. Heh!” Fry examines the DVD of The Thirteenth Warrior and opens it up. To his surprise, something falls out. “What’s this?” It just happens to be the old photograph of himself and Leela riding on top of Doctor Zoidberg. Much to his chagrin!)

Fry: (laughs to himself) “Heh heh heh…Oooh…good old Doctor Zoidberg. It’s funny. How one little thing you see or hear can affect the out come of another persons life, and the others around you as well.”

(Fry lets his thoughts drift back to the events of late September 3004. It had been a little over a two months since his thirtieth birthday, and Leela, Doctor Zoidberg and himself had just departed Oxtifar after their big adventure on that Wild West planet. Leela was piloting the PE ship back to Earth, while Fry was kicking back in his usual seat and happily spinning on one finger, his new prized Taurus Ragging Bull laser pistol, and making his poor girl friend a nervous wreck in the process!)

Leela: (annoyed and nervous) “Damn it, Phil!…Will you please stop twirling that cannon of yours around like a moron, and on my bridge of all places!”

Fry: (continues to spin his gun) “Relax, Leels. I’ve got it on a low stun setting, and plus it’s on safety. I’m trying to perfect my technique in…..” Boom!…“Holy Crap!

Leela: “Eeeeek! ….” (turns to Fry) “Grrrrrrr….Phil!

Fry: (sheepish) “I know…I know…you don’t even have to say it. I’ll quit acting like an idiot who’s like a boy with a new toy. Uhh…any damage?”

(Leela and Fry check the roof of the Bridge, and to their relief there is none.)

Leela: (serious) “Well, at least it was set on stun! So there’s no damage, but we might not be so lucky next time….Hmmm?”

Fry: (embarrassed) “Uhh…yeah.”

(Leela sits back down in her captain’s seat still fuming and resumes piloting towards home.)

Fry: (sad) “Leela?”

Leela: (sighs) “What?”

Fry: (sincere) “For what it’s worth. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t play around like that again. It was stupid of me.”

Leela: (annoyed) “Yeah! Like the Holo Shed incident, right?!”

Fry: (angry) “Ok! You got me, alright! I know I could have shot you or I could have blow out one of the bridge windows and killed us both! I have no sorry excuses except for myself, ok?”

Leela: (annoyed) “What ever.”

Fry: (amused) “So, I guess asking you for permission to fly part of the trip home is out of the question now?”

Leela: (disgusted) “No!…you think?

Fry: (taking the hint) “Uhhh…yeah. I think… I’ll get something to eat, and see what Doctor Zoidberg is up too.”

Leela: “Now that’s a good idea. Maybe I won’t mention this to the Professor or Hermes.”

Fry: (sad) “Yeah…thanks, Leels.” (sighs) “I’ll…I’ll leave you in peace now.”

Leela: “That’s an even better idea.”

(Fry holsters his laser pistol and is leaving the bridge, but he stops and walks up behind Leela.)

Leela: (sighs) “Did you forget something?”

Fry: “Yeah.”

(Fry leans over Leela and puts his arms around her and nuzzles her neck.)

Leela: (annoyed) “Ok…this might be nice if I wasn’t in the middle of piloting and being mad at you at the same time.”

(Fry continues to nuzzle her neck. Then, he starts to purr and gently kiss her on her shoulder. He continues kissing her, and starts up along the right side of her neck. He was tickling her now, and that was rapidly becoming a favorite past time of his. She understood what he was trying to tell her, and he wouldn’t leave her alone until she did forgive him. However, Leela wasn’t quite ready to give in just yet. She was enjoying this attention, and making him squirm a little was fun, but this was far better. Fry however had started to kiss and nibble on her earlobe. Now things were just getting hot. He had switched from being playful to neurotic, and that wasn’t fair! She had no defense against that except to give in.)

Leela: (amused) “Ha ha ha ha…ok…ok! You win. You’re forgiven now.”

(Fry stops and smiles at her.)

Fry: (sincere) “I’m sorry, Leels.”

(Leela smiles and kisses him.)

Leela: (gently) “I know you are. You’ll be more careful from now on?”

Fry: “You bet I will. No more reckless fooling around like that. I promise.”

Leela: (smiling) “Ok. Hey? Would you mind making a little something for the two of us to eat? I’m starved!

Fry: “Sure. I’d be glad to.”

Leela: (smiling) “If hurry back. I might just let you pilot part of the way home.”

Fry: (happy) “You mean it?”

Leela: (serious) “Yes. Now hurry up! Double time! Chop! Chop!

(Fry starts to leave the bridge.)

Leela: “Oh, and also bring me back a diet Slurm.”

Fry: (amused) “Ok. Now what’s the magic word?”

Leela: “Move it! Or no snuggle for you tonight!”

Fry: (miffed) “Yes, at once your eminence!” (looks back at Leela) “Sheesh!”

Leela: (smiles and giggles to herself) “Despite the brain tune up and the maturing he’s still, Fry. I’ve finally gotten you broken in and even housetrained, but you’re still my, Fry. So don’t you change too much on me.”

(Things continue to remain peaceful for a while longer until some rather unpleasant noises started to emanate from back, and it soon begins to sound like a real ruckus. Leela puts the ship on autopilot to see what the heck was going on back there. Just as she is about to exit the bridge, Fry bursts the door. He quickly shuts and locks it! Leela takes stock of his disheveled state. His clothes were almost shredded, and he was covered in bumps and bruises. Fry turns around panting and slides down the door into sitting position.)

Fry: (panicked) “Leela, we have a problem!

Leela: (concerned) “What the hell happened to you?”

Fry: (panting) “Well, I was in the galley getting a little something for the two of us. I just turned around and then I saw him. All I said was Hi, and then he went medieval on me!”

Leela: “Who did?”

(Suddenly, something starts to pound forcefully on the locked bridge door. A few seconds later a large red claw punches through the metal door clacking menacingly at them.)

Fry: (points up at the claw) “He did!

(Fry and Leela scramble away from the bridge door just in time as it was ripped open. Doctor Zoidberg stood there huffing in his torn up lab coat. He was definitely not himself. His whole demeanor was pumped up in regards to his raised head fin, stench, and menacing body language.)

Leela: (appeasing) “Now…now, Doctor Zoidberg it’s alright. I’m sure what ever Phil said he didn’t mean to upset you.”

Fry: (desperate) “Hey! All I said was Hi!

Dr. Zoidberg: (enraged) “So it’s a fight you want! Well, heeeere’s Zoidy!”

Fry and Leela: (screaming) “Ahhhhhhhhh!”

(Doctor Zoidberg launches himself at them with the full intention of disemboweling his unfortunate shipmates. Leela and Fry split and step off to the sides as Doctor Zoidberg lunges at them. He missed them this time, but he was back up in a flash and turns his full attention on Leela. Doctor Zoidberg quickly gets into scuttling position with claws bared and clacking. Leela tries to side step his next attack, but Doctor Zoidberg trips her up and is on her in a flash. Fry immediately tries to pull him off of Leela, but one mighty blow from Decapodian sends him flying into the pilot’s station. His impact against the controls disengages the autopilot, and sends the PE ship out of control. Everyone on the bridge finds themselves being flung around as if they were in a dryer. Fortunately, Leela managed to grab hold of the station in time, and gets the ship back under control.)

(Once the ship was steady again Doctor Zoidberg was back at it, and after Leela. She had just managed to turn around, and he was on her again pinning her down. His claws started to shred through her tank top down to her bare skin. His strength was enormous, and it was taking all of hers just to hold back his claws. Then, at that moment there was a Boom!, and the ferial lobster was suddenly sent flying off of her. There stood Fry, bleeding from a cut along the side of his head, and his Ragging Bull smoking! The enraged Zoidberg was up again, and charging at Fry in a roar! Boom!..Boom!….Boom! Finally, the full powered stun puts the ragging Decapodian down.)

Fry: (panting) “That…will be quite enough of that…thank you!”

(Fry rushes over to Leela to check on her.)

Fry: (concerned) “Leels! Are you alright?

Leela: (panting) “I think so. Is he…?”

Fry: “No. I had it set on full powered stun. He’ll be down for a while. That will give us enough time to figure out what we can do with him, and what’s wrong.”

Leela: “Alright. I’m going to get the med kit, so I can take care of that cut of yours. Then, I’m going to contact the Professor to get his advice. If my hunch is right, we might just have to make a detour to Decapod 10.

Fry: (blushing) “Umm, Leela…while you’re doing that you might want to change into a new tank top and bra.”

(Leela looks down at her now very exposed chest.)

Leela: (covers her chest) “Eep!…Phil, Honey could I…uhh?”

(Smiling and without another word Fry tosses her his torn jacket and she covers up.)

Leela: (embarrassed) “Thanks, I’ll be back in a minute.”

(Leela makes sure the ship is set on autopilot and leaves the bridge. Fry pulls a chair over to where the unconscious Zoidberg lies to keep a watch over him. In a short time Leela comes back wear a new top, and has the med kit ready for Fry.)

Fry: “So, did you get a hold of the Professor and tell him what happened?”

Leela: “Yeah…for the lack of a better word I really had to dodge the bullet when he asked about what happened during our delivery on “Oxtifar.” (sighs) “Anyways, I have the med scan equipment for Doctor Zoidberg and the med kit for you.”

(Leela gently cleans up the bloody cut on the side of Fry’s head and mends it. She then uses the med scanner on the unconscious Zoidberg.)

Fry: “Well, what’s the verdict on Mr. Hyde here?”

Leela: “It’s just as I thought.” (sighs) “Phil, we’re going to have to miss that Blurnsball game, and take Doctor Zoidberg immediately to his home world. I’m sorry.”

Fry: “Please, don’t tell me it’s…”

Leela: “Dacapodian mating season, again…I’m afraid so.” (sarcastic) “That fabulous and disgusting ritual that comes for their people about every four to five years, and Doctor Zoidberg is once again in full mating condition. Pumped full of fight, hormones, and male jelly.”

Fry: “Yeck! Well, at least Bender’s away celebrating Robonza or what ever! So that problem’s solved, but I don’t want to have my arm or any other part of me chopped off this time.”

Leela: “We’ll just have to watch each others backs, and help out Doctor Zoidberg as much as we can.”

Fry: “You’re right of course. He is our Doctor and our friend. Right now he needs a little compassion and kindness. I think about all times he’s helped us. Especially me, after the Holo Shed incident.”

Leela: “That’s right. Plus, I have a little something here to calm Doctor Zoidberg down, and keep him civil until we get there.”

(Leela pulls a huge red pill capsule from the med kit.)

Fry: “What’s that?

Leela: “Decazak. It’s Prozak for Decapodians. This will take the fight out him for a while.”

Fry: “Leela, that pill is huge! How is he going to…?”

Leela: (disgusted) “Oh, it’s not going down that end.”

Fry: “What? Oh…Oh God!Ewwww!

(Just then Doctor Zoidberg starts come too.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (delirious) “What’s this about Doctoring?! I’m the Doctor here! And recommend a full dose of these!” (starts clacking his claws at the two of them.)

(Fry pulls his Ragging Bull and admininisters a full dose of nighty nighty to the good Doctor.)

Fry: (Boom!) “Down boy!...(Boom!)…back to sleep! So, anyways. Who’s going to administer…umm…the package?

Leela: (annoyed) “So much for compassion and kindness!

Fry: (surprised) “Hey! I didn’t want that to start up again! (pats his Ragging Bull) “Anyways, “Old Painless” was gentle.”

Leela: (annoyed) “Yeah…gentle. You, and your damn toys. As Captain I hold rank. So, I’m ordering you to do the medicinal delivery!”

Fry: (mortified) “What?! Why me? You’re the Captain! You do it!”

Leela: (firm) “That’s right! I’m the Captain, and you’re the Delivery boy!”

Fry: (fed up) “Alright. That’s it. I’m calling Rock, Paper, Scissors! That’s how we’re settling this.”

Leela: “You’re on!

Fry “Ready?”

Fry and Leela: “Rock Paper Scissors! Rock Paper Scissors! Rock Paper Scissors! Rock Paper Scissors!” (and they drawl.)

Leela: (overjoyed) “Yes! I win!

Fry: (horrified) “Awww…damn it! Ok…give me the stupid pill and all the rubber gloves in the kit.”

Leela: (elated) “Here you go. If you don’t mind, I’ll get back to piloting and set a course for Decapod 10.

Fry: (disgusted) “Yeah, you do that.” (grumbling) “Where’s rectal exam bot when you need him? I swear this is going to scar me for life.”

(A few minutes pass and Fry accomplishes the disgusting deed.)

Fry: (shaking) “Ok, nobody cannot call me a man now. Let’s see someone else do that without throwing up!” (groans) “Leels, I’m going aft now to cut off my right hand, and take a scalding hot shower to burn off the first three layers of my skin. I don’t know about you, but I have absolutely no appetite.”

Leela: (empathetic) “I know how you feel, but no more jokes about mutilating yourself, and come back soon, ok. I need you to keep an eye on him for me.”

(Fry exits the bridge leaving Leela to piloting them to Decapod 10. A few minutes pass by and Doctor Zoidberg is finally coming too.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (groggy) “Ohhhhhh…did either of you get the number of that garbage truck? Because it feels like he backed over my rump, twice!

(Thanks to Leela’s quick flying they arrived on Decapod 10 in less than two hours, much to their relief.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (taking in the morning view) “Ahhh…it’s good to be home again.

Now my friends, let’s not waste anytime reminiscing. To the beach!

(Doctor Zoidberg leads the way to the very same beach where all neurotic displays were being preformed. Leela and Fry kick back together and wait as Doctor Zoidberg gets into his attire.)

Leela: “Phil, I think you should have brought a book or magazine to read. This might take all day remember?”

Fry: “Yeah I know, but I’ve got my trusty yo yo.” (gesturing at the other suitors on the beach.) “Plus, watching those guys putting on a display is always good for a laugh.”

Leela: (sighs) “What ever. Just try not to embarrass us.”

Fry: (grumbles) “Yeah. Yeah.”

(At that moment Doctor Zoidberg comes out in full garb, and clacking his claws.)

Dr. Zoidberg: “Well my friends. How do I look?”

Leela: “The same as you did the first time, but smellier!

Fry: (snickers) “To quote the Bender” “Like whale barf.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Wonderful! Once again the illusion is complete, and this time my stink gland speaks for itself.”

Leela: (disgusted) “I’ll say.”

(Doctor Zoidberg sections off a small area of the beach like the other suitors, and build’s his decorative sand mound with its small shells and other ornaments. He perches on one leg on top of the mound. He tucks his arms and raises his head fin, and makes his plaintive cry!)

Dr. Zoidberg: “Kraaawww! Kraaawww! Kraaawwwww!

Leela: (hides behind her magazine) “Oh Lord.”

Fry: (cracking up) “Ah ha ha ha…oh mercy! Ha ha ha!”

(Time continues to wear on for the trio, and poor Doctor Zoidberg is having the same luck as he did the last time. Zilch! Finally, after five or more hours of Kraaaawwwwing! He’s about ready to give it up.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (sits on his display mound and lowers his head fin) “Ohh, what’s the point? The robuts right. I’ am the lobster equivalent of Fry.”

Fry: (annoyed) “Hey! Not to split hairs or anything, but I finally have a girl friend super Doc.”

(This only makes poor Doctor Zoidberg feel even more worthless, and he starts to cry pathetically into his claws.)

Leela: (disappointed) “Phil.”

Fry: (sad) “You’re right. I know he feels. I’ll see what I can do.”

(Fry goes over to Doctor Zoidberg and sits next to him.)

Fry: (sincere) “I’m sorry, Doc. Who am I to criticize? I know how you feel.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (sniffing) “You do?”

Fry: (sympathetic) “Yeah. I know how it feels to be lonely and out cased. To feel like no one loves or even gives a damn if you’re alive or not.” (sad) “I know it all to well. I also know I’m glad to have you as my friend.” (smiles) “I mean, look at me. I finally won Leela’s heart. So it’s not hopeless. I noticed that…uuh…there are a few hotties still roving around here, but you’re not going to win the lucky lobsterina by sulking in the sand.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (smiles) “You’re right, Fry. Thank you. I’m glad to have you and Leela as my friends. There’s still hope?”

Fry: (upbeat) “Absolutely! Listen to me. I’ve been observing what’s been going on here for the past five hours, and I’ve noticed a few things.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (curious) “Like what?”

Fry: (contemplating) “Maybe your approach is wrong. Like you said last time.” “Those guys are like claws with bodies.

Dr. Zoidberg: (depressed) “I know. I’m just average or below.”

Fry: “Well I’m just average. I mean I just have average looks, and strength. I’m not brilliant or anything. However, you got to go with what you got. Above all, don’t give up.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Then what do you suggest?”

Fry: “How about trying something creative? If you get a girl to take finally take notice, then being kind, sensitive, and sincere are big pluses. In the end, I finally figured that out. Oh, and forget all that junk I tried to teach you last time with winning over Edna.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Alright, but what could I do creatively? This is all about Kraaawwww!

Fry: “Then try something that no one else is doing. This is about making a display to attract attention, right?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (shrugs) “Of course, but what?”

(Fry takes notice of Doctor Zoidberg’s decorative sand mound and starts brainstorm on what would really be creative.)

Fry: (excited) “I’ve got it!

Dr. Zoidberg: “What? Worms again?”

Fry: “Noo! The thing that will make you stand out from all these other gross crab monsters here.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “A more powerful stench?”

Fry (groans) “Ohh, heaven help me. No! A super mega sand castle! The one with the likes that no one has seen and no girl can ignore.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (clacks his claws) “How do you expect me to build something like that with these?

Fry: (confident) “Well the master is going to take you under his wing again and show you how.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “What?…Again with the bird?!”

Fry: (laughs) “No. Listen, I’m going back to the ship to get a few things we’ll need, but I’ll be right back. So in the mean time try to think of some buildings or structures you always thought were neat. Above all, this will help take your mind off of everything else, and have some fun while doing it.”

(Fry starts to head back in the general direction of the PE ship.)

Leela: (curious) “Where are you going? I thought you were going to help Doctor Zoidberg?”

Fry: “Don’t worry; I’ll be back in a minute. I just need to get a few things from the ship.”

Leela: (noticing that she’s starting to burn) “Oh, ok. Phil?”

Fry: (turns back) “Yeah, Leels?”

Leela: “Could you get me a big towel, suntan lotion, bottled water, and my sunglasses? Pleeease?

Fry: (sighs) “Oh, alright.”

Leela: (seductive) “I was thinking I’d like it if you oiled me up. So come back soon, ok?”

Fry: (excited) “Alright!

(Fry immediately doubles his pace.)

Leela: (amused) “Heh heh heh. Yeah, I know how to put steam in your strides.”

(Fry soon comes back from the PE ship with his arms loaded with assorted items to build, and the stuff for Leela.)

Fry: (huffing) “Ok. Leels. Here are the things that you asked for, and what we’ll need.”

Leela: “Thanks, Phil. Umm…what are you going to do with all that other stuff?”

Fry: (smiling) “You’ll see. Ok Doctor Zoidberg. Are you ready?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (shrugs) “I guess. So where do we start?”

(Fry and Doctor Zoidberg put their heads together for ideas, and they start to pile up a large mound of sand. Then, over the course of the next two hours they begin to carve and sculpt a really spectacular sand castle. The heat of the late afternoon sun begins to take its toll on Fry, and he sheds his shirt, socks, and shoes to be more comfortable. Leela looks up from sunbathing, and takes notice again of how much weight he’s lost and smiles at his much more toned muscles.)

Leela: (to herself) “I always thought you were cute, but now…(purrs)…you’re really nice to look at. I’ve even found myself growling at Amy for checking you out from time to time.” (out loud) “Phil!”

Fry: “Yeah, Leels?”

Leela: (smiles) “Could you please come over here and oil me up? I’d better do the same for you while you’re at it.”

Fry: “Hey, Doc? Would you mind if I go over to spend sometime with Leela?” (gestures to the nearly finished sand castle.) “Believe me it looks great! I think you should be the one to put on the final touches on, and finish it.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (happy) “Ok. Thanks a lot, Fry. I really enjoyed doing this.”

(Fry sits down next to Leela, but notices she’s already applied some suntan oil.)

Fry: (disappointed) “Hey. Didn’t you wanted me to oil you up? You’re already covered.”

Leela: (purrs) “Well I wouldn’t mind another coating, and a rub down. So, what is it you’re trying to do to help Doctor Zoidberg?”

Fry: (rubbing Leela down) “A different approach. I figured if he has no chance to stand out in the conventional way, then try a completely different kind of display. Something really creative that no one else is doing, and being a little more subtle might also help.”

Leela: (dozing) “Mmmmm…that might just work you know.”

(In the meantime, a single and very attractive Decapodian woman was wondering the beach. She was observing the various displays, but not really impressed by anything she had scene as of yet.)

Male Suitors: “Kraaawww! Kraaawww! Kraaawwww! Kraaawwww! Kraaawwwww!

Alma: (disgusted) “Oh brother! To think I actually fell for that line the first time.”

(Alma keeps wondering down the beach and is near the end of the suitors when all the sudden she notices that there is a different male scent in the air. Some how this one was more subtle, and not as nearly as offensive as the other pumped up hormone scents wafting around her. She was intriguing by this, and determined to find the source of it. Alma soon comes to a single Decapodian male busily working on the most intricate and spectacular sand display she had ever seen. Well, there was no point in being shy.)

Leela: (busily rubbing down Fry) “Phil, look.”

Fry: (looks up) “Hmm? Well…well. Ok, Doc. Play it cool.”

Alma: (quiet) “Uhh, hello. I couldn’t help noticing your beautiful display.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (still busily carving away) “Why thank you. I’ve spent the better part of the day just getting this far why not.”

Alma: (impressed) “I can tell. Are you an architect? You seem familiar somehow.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (laughs) “No…no… I’m just the humble Doctor of a humble Delivery company on planet Earth.”

(Doctor Zoidberg looks up and is astonished at the resemblance that the beautiful female has to his former flame, Edna. Alma, also reacts when she looks at him face to face.)

Alma: (shocked) “Oh my God! John? John Zoidberg, is that you?!

Dr. Zoidberg: (surprised) “I was Zoidberg the last time I checked. You…you have the striking resemblence to someone I knew….Edna?”

Alma: (pleasant) “No John, its Alma! From high school remember? I was one of Edna’s brood sisters.” (annoyed) “She always had to be the center of attention, and she always laughed you because your face was covered in barnacles. I didn’t.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (sad) “I remember. You were the only one who was ever really nice to me.”

Alma: (curious) “So, what brings you home to Decapod?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (amused) “The same thing as the rest of us guys.”

Alma: (disappointed) “Oh, I see.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (sincere) “Forgive me. That didn’t come out right.” (sighs) “Would you like to help me finish this? I’d really like for us to talk and catch up a bit.”

Alma: (smiles) “Sure. I’d like that.”

(Alma and Doctor Zoidberg take their time talking, laughing and getting reacquainted with one another. They scarcely noticed that the sun was now setting into the sea, and how much time has passed until Fry and Leela come over.)

Leela: “Doctor Zoidberg. Phil and I are going to head back to the ship now. It’s getting late.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Of course, Leela. I’m going to spend some more time with Alma here. I’ll be along after a while.”

Alma: (pleasant) “John, you didn’t introduce me to your friends. Hello, my name’s Alma. John and I are old acquaintances.”

Leela: “Nice to meet you. I’m Turanga Leela, Captain of the Planet Express Delivery ship, and this is Philip Fry. My boyfriend and our companies Delivery Boy.”

Fry: (warm) “Pleasure to meet you, Alma.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (sighs) “What an eel I am. Alma, Leela, Fry I’m sorry! Where are my manners?”

Leela: “It’s alright, but we better get going now. So we’ll see you later. Bye!”

Alma: “Nice to meet you both.”

(Leela and Fry leave the beach and Alma and Doctor Zoidberg to themselves. They put the finishing touches on the sand castle, and watch the last rays of the beautiful sunset.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (sighs) “Oh how I wish had a camera to capture the beauty of all this. It’s something I’m always going to cherish.”

Alma: (warm) “So will I, John. But you don’t need a picture to remember it.”

(Doctor Zoidberg picks up on what she just said and sees the way she’s smiling at him. He can feel a stirring in his hearts.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (smiles) “Alma. Would you like to get together tomorrow, and spend the day with me on a date why not?”

Alma: (unsure) “Well…I guess that would be nice…umm.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (sad) “I’m sorry, Alma. I didn’t mean to make you fell uncomfortable.

(sighs) “I understand.”

Alma: “No, John! It’s alright. It’s not all you. I’d really like to go out on a date with you tomorrow. It’s just…”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Hmmm. Alma, what would you say to inviting my friends, Fry and Leela along on kind of a double date why not?”

Alma: (brightens) “I think that would be really nice. We could show them sights, and we could get better acquainted.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (up beat) “Then we could all go out, and have dinner at Red Prime Ape. Do you like turf food?”

Alma: “I love turf, and yes. It would be nice if you brought your friends along too.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (happy) “Then it’s settled! Alma. Can I please escort you home?”

Alma: “No. No. That’s ok. I can walk myself, thank you.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (disappointed) “Oh. Ok, then.”

Alma: (curious) “Why? Were you hoping for something more?

Dr. Zoidberg: (hopeful) “To walk you home perhaps. Talk along the way and just say goodnight why not?”

Alma: (surprised) “That’s all you want?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (sincere) “Yes.”

Alma: (to herself) “This is a first. Maybe, just maybe.” (out loud) “Alright, John. You can walk me home.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (to himself) “This is a first. This time, don’t screw it up!”

(out loud) “Thank you. Shall we?”

(They leave the beach together talking, laughing, and reminiscing on times way back. Eventually they hold claws and say nothing more, but smile at one another. They soon come to Alma’s apartment.)

Alma: “Thank you, John. For walking me home.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (smiles) “It was my pleasure why not.”

Alma: (comes closes to him and gives him a little kiss) “And thank you, for showing that you’re different from another guy I’ve known.” (smiles) “You and your friends come by my place around 9 A.M. tomorrow, ok? Goodnight.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (smiles) “Ok. Goodnight, Alma.”

(Doctor Zoidberg takes his time in walking back to the PE ship thinking along the way about tomorrow, and how happy he feels. Happier than all the times he had a full stomach or actually slept under a roof.)

Dr. Zoidberg: “So this is how it feels to be walking on sunshine.”

(The next day, the four of them got together as planned, and Alma and Doctor Zoidberg showed Leela and Fry the popular sights in the area. Fry did his best in giving Doctor Zoidberg good advice and pointers in showing Alma how he felt about her. Leela was busy assuring and telling Alma what a really nice guy, great friend, and great Doctor John Zoidberg was. Well, she did embellish a little on the great Doctor part. After a while Leela and Fry decided that they had done everything they could to help the two of them, and it was best to step back and let things happen. They knew for sure that there was definitely something between the two of them, and little by little Alma was becoming very fond of John Zoidberg. She was just waiting for him to tell her about his feelings for her.)

(While they were out shopping Fry had suggested to Doctor Zoidberg that he get a special gift to give to Alma. Then, to find the right moment to give it, and tell her how he feels about her. Doctor Zoidberg and Fry had snuck off together to find that gift, and he had purchased with a little help from, Fry. An elegant gold necklace.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (uncertain) “Hmm…it’s a very attractive necklace, Fry, but…”

Fry: “But what?”

Dr. Zoidberg: “It feels like…it’s missing something. I don’t know. Something that says it’s from me personally to you.”

Fry: “I think I understand. Can you think of anything that would make it a little more special? Like something the two of you shared together?”

Doctor Zoidberg: “Hmmm…Well, maybe. Mmmmm……that’s it!

Fry: “What’s it?”

Dr. Zoidberg: “One of the decorative shells from the sand castle we build yesterday! Fry, you’re a genius!

Fry: (surprised) “I am? Now I’m worried.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Fry, it’s almost sunset time. Let’s get the girls and head down to the beach. That’s where I’m going to tell Alma how I feel about her.”

(Fry and Doctor Zoidberg eventually catch up with Leela and Alma, and see that they’ve picked up quite a few things themselves from their shopping spree.)

Leela: (annoyed) “Where have you guys been this whole time? We could use a hand you know?!”

Dr. Zoidberg: (nonchalant) “Oh…out doing this and that. Say, why don’t the four of us go down to the beach and watch the sunset before we go out to dinner why not?”

Alma: “That sounds nice. What’s in the box, John?”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Oh, umm…nothing nothing…uuh…you’ll see!”

Fry: (snorts) “Yeah, real smooth. She won’t suspect a thing.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (annoyed) “Hey! Give me a break why not?”

Leela: (sighs) “What are you two ninny hammers yammering about?”

Fry and Dr. Zoidberg: (grinning like idiots) “Nothing!” (pointing assertively.) “To the beach!

(The two of them start for the beach and the girls follow.)

Leela: (groans) “Ohh, why us?

Alma: (smiles) “Why not?”

Leela: (shrugs) “Ehhh. It’s a good thing that they’re soo loveable.”

Alma: (warm) “They are at that.”

(The four some arrive on the beach in time for sunset, and start to walk and admire the beautiful view.)

Leela: (in awe) “I have to hand to you guys. Your planet has some really spectacular sunsets!”

Fry: (smiling at Leela) “They are beautiful, and romantic.”

Leela: (amused) “Corny, as usual.”

Fry: (warm) “Yeah. But you like it.”

Leela: (smiling) “Yeah. I do.”

(Leela and Fry find a spot to sit down, snuggle close, and watch the sunset together. Alma and Doctor Zoidberg smile at their two friends and then walk off together holding claws. They soon come to their decorative sand castle, and find spot of their own to watch the beautiful sunset.)

Dr. Zoidberg: “Alma. I have something for you. I was just waiting for the right moment to give it to you.”

Alma: (excited) “You do? I can’t wait! What is it?

Dr. Zoidberg: “You wait right here, Alma. It needs just one more thing to make it special.

(Doctor Zoidberg goes over the eroding remains of their decorative sand castle and starts to scan for the seashell that will make the necklace special.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (to himself) “Hmm…there was that one I used. It was that fan shaped shell that had a really pretty coloration pattern to it.”

(After a few more moments of searching he finds it, but it has dulled a bit from being out of the ocean. Doctor Zoidberg picks it up and examines it.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (disappointed) “Awww…oh wait! There’s that thing I do! Like the time I made love beads for food money for us all.”

(Doctor Zoidberg checks to make sure Alma’s not watching, and pops the shell down his gullet and waits a moment. He soon gags and coughs the shell backup. He rinses it off in the ocean and admires his handy work.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (pleased) “Hmm…not bad. Now that’s a luster.

(Doctor pulls the elegant gold necklace from its box and examines just how to make the now lustrous shell the necklaces centerpiece. After a few moments of careful craftsmanship he accomplishes the desired piece. He goes back over to Alma now to present the special gift. Alma smiles in anticipation and that gives John Zoidberg just the courage he needs to share his feelings for her.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (presenting the necklace) “Alma. This is what I want to give you. I know it’s not much, and you deserve more.” (sincere) “I’m not rich you see or really superior to a lot of the other males around here, but I…I love you, Alma. I feel more for you than just the desire to mate. You’re the only female…I mean woman who has ever gone out of her way to be kind to me, and not make me feel inferior. If I had a choice about our life cycle and our life span…then, you’re the one. The one and only one I’d want spent it with. Always.”

Alma: (deeply touched) “John. It doesn’t matter to me that you’re not the richest, most famous, or most superior male…I mean man I’ve met. What you’ve just given me is far greater than any of those things, and I wanted to hear you say what you honestly feel for me. You’ve done more than that. This necklace is more beautiful and precious to me because it’s an honest expression of your love. No man has ever given me that. I love this shell you put in the middle. You did it just a few moments ago…(giggles)…yeah, I saw what you did.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (embaressed) “ I…eeeh…umm… I can explain…uhh…ohhh. I’m sorry, Alma. I didn’t mean to gross you out.”

Alma: (amused) “Ha ha ha…it’s alright, John. It was more…creative and inginuitive than gross. Those are traits I also greatly admire.” (sincere) “John…I know we haven’t seen each other in a long time, but I….I also feel very strongly about you too. You’re honest, kind, sweet, and thoughtful. I love that about you. I love you.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (disbelief) “You love me…you…you really love me?”

Alma: (sincere) “Yes, I do.” (admiring the necklace) “You know, I’m going to wear this tomorrow. It will go perfectly with my outfit during the Frenzy.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (surprised) “The Frenzy?! You mean, you…me…we’ll…together?

Alma: (amused) “Ha ha ha…yes! You put it quite eloquently, John. It is the way of species is it not? I’m happy because I finally found the one.” (smiles) “The one I love, and whom I’m going to spawn a new generation with.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (overjoyed) “Alma! You’ve made me the happiest filthy crab in the world!” (horrified) “Wait! That didn’t come out right!”

Alma: (cuddles up to John Zoidberg) “Ha ha ha…it doesn’t matter.”

(Doctor Zoidberg gently pulls Alma into his lap and the two cuddle happily together, and watch the last embers of the beautiful sunset. Leela and Fry soon come over to check and see if they’re ready to go out to dinner. Unfortunately their timing is bad.)

Leela: “Alma? Doctor Zoidberg? Why don’t the four of us get ready, and head over to Red Prime Ape for dinner? It’s getting kind of late, and we’re famished.”

(The Decapodian couple does not take kindly to the friendly intrusion and immediately become hostile. They both get into an offensive stance and start to growl at the human pair.)

Leela: (appeasing) “Now…now… we didn’t mean to get you two love lobsters’s all fired up. Let’s just calm down now, and go out for a nice hot meal together.”

Fry: (nervous) “What she said! Alma, I see Doctor Zoidberg gave you that beautiful necklace. So you two must be official now. Well, we’re really happy for you two. Aren’t we, Leels?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (raises his head fin) “Fry, did you just make a pass at my, Alma? Because if you did then I declare Claw Plaque! To the death!

Leela: (serious) “No! Doctor Zoidberg, Phil was paying you two a compliment.

Alma: (hostile) “Sister! If you’re trying to come between the two of us then forget it!

(Threatens Leela with her sharp claws.)

Fry: (serious) “Whoa! Ok, time out.

Leela: (appeasing) “Yes. Now we’re all civilized beings here. Lets just calm down, Sloooowly lower those sharp claws and head fin, and we can be friends again.”

(The Decapodian couple slowly complies, and takes a less hostile posture.)

Fry: (warm) “Thank you. You see. We’re your friends, and Leela and I are a pair just like you two. We aren’t a threat to guys at all. So what do you say? Let’s all go out for that nice dinner, and have a good time?”

Leela: (smiling) “Phil’s right. I’m always a lot less hostile on a full stomach.”

Fry: “Really? I’ll have to remember to keep you feed all the time then.”

Leela: (annoyed) “Hey! Shut up!

Fry: (amused) “See! She’s really hungry!”

Leela: (pissed) “Phil…I’m going to beat you like a red headed step child on X-MAS morning if you keep it up!”

Fry: (chiding) “Blah! Blah! Blah!

Leela: (fed up) “Oh…that’s it!

(Fry realizes his mistake and takes off running down the beach with a raging Leela in hot pursuit.)

Alma: (confused) “Uhh…what just happened?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (amused) “Leela just declared Claw Plaque on Fry.”

Alma: “Oh! Are they always like that?”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Heh heh heh…ohh yeah. Come on, Alma! I want to see how this one turns out. Fry may need a Doctor.”

Alma: (concerned) “What will he do when she finally catches him?”

Dr. Zoidberg: “The smart thing! Play dead of course, and then counter attack when her guard’s down.”

(Leela finally catches up to her fleeing boy friend and tackles him from behind with the full force of a line backer. Fry goes down hard, and Leela realizes she may have just gone a little bit overboard.)

Leela: (concerned) “Phil, are you alright?! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you so hard. You were teasing me, and I really wasn’t…Phil?” (shakes Fry) “Phil? Come on this isn’t funny!” (Leela continues to shake him but he’s not coming too.) “Doctor Zoidberg! Please come quick! I think I really may have…Eeep!

(All the sudden Fry pulls Leela down. He straddles her stomach and launches into a full tickling assault on her tummy and ribs.)

Fry: “Now I gotcha!” (Fry vigorously tickles her on the tummy and ribs for about ten minutes, and Leela was soon laughing up a storm. Now that he’s taken the fight out of her, Fry goes to work on her armpits.)

Leela: (hysterical) “Nooooooo…ahh ha ha ha ha ha ooh ho ha ha ha ha aaaaah! Phiiilllll! Nooo! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha eeeeeee ha ha ha ha …hick up!! Ok! Ok! I give! You win!

(Fry rolls off of her. He gently pulls Leela up right and holds her close.)

Fry: (gentle) “I’m sorry, Leels. I get a little carried away sometimes, and I guess I kind of had that coming.”

Leela: (amused) “Yeah you did! You’re terrible! Faking me out like that, and then working me over.”

Fry: (surprised) “Faking? You darn near knocked the wind out of me! I forget sometimes now just how strong you are.”

Leela: (sincere) “I know and I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t deliberately try to hurt you, right?”

Fry: (warm) “Of course. I know that. Come on, let’s head back to the ship to clean up, and then go out to dinner with our friends.”

Leela: (smiles) “Sounds good. Alma? Doctor Zoidberg? Are you two ready to head back now, so we can go out for dinner?”

Alma: (concerned) “Certainly. Are you guys alright?

Dr. Zoidberg: (narrating) “Of course they are. That was just a classic example of a human pairs bonding custom. Now the male will plead to the female his sincere desire to fertilize her eggs!”

Alma: “Oh!”

Leela: (embarrassed) “Uhh…suure.”

Fry: (shrugs at Leela) “Yeah…heh heh.” (to himself) “Ugh…thanks, Doc. Get her all roiled up again! That’s just what I need after I got her simmered down.”

(The four of them leave the beach and agree to meet at Red Prime Ape by 7 P.M.

Leela and Fry dress semi formal for the occasion and then wait for Doctor Zoidberg

to accompany them.)

Fry: “I’m really glad things have worked out this time for Doctor Zoidberg. I don’t think his poor hearts could have withstood another rejection.”

Leela: (sighs) “I know…just remember that we won’t have Doctor Zoidberg with us after tomorrow.”

Fry: (realization) “Oh that’s right!” (sad) “It’s a death sentence for Decaopdians after they mate.” (sighs) “Tough call isn’t…love or death?”

Leela: (reassuring) “It is…but isn’t really. It’s how their life cycle ends, and it’s how they celebrate renewal. It’s far worse for them to grow old and never succeed in the Frenzy at all.”

Fry: (relieved) “I’m just glad that won’t happen to us.”

Leela: (curious) “Ohh…are you going somewhere with this?”

Fry: (embarrassed) “What? Oh!…umm…what I meant was humans in general of course. I wasn’t implying anything about you and I……you know…that we’re ready to…umm.”

Leela: (amused) “To what?”

Fry: (sputtering) “To…umm...uhh…eh hum! Umm.”

Leela: (cracking up) “Ha ha ha ha! Phil, you make me laugh!

Fry: (depressed) “Ohhhh.”

Leela: (reassuring) “Noo…I didn’t mean it like that.” (smiling) “I know what you meant, and Good things will happen in time remember?” (warm) “Just be patient alright? Because some day…”

Fry: (happy) “Really?”

Leela: (gentle) “Yes.”

(To his credit, Fry didn’t say another word. However, he couldn’t help but smile at the thought of himself and Leela being together and intimate. Another indication of how strong their relationship was growing, and Leela didn’t shun him or the thought of them being together anymore. For Fry, that was more than enough for now. Finally, Doctor Zoidberg joined them in his best attire that happened to be a clean suit, and they set off together for their dinner date.)

(They meet up with Alma at Red Prime Ape, and she too was putting her best claw forward for the occasion. She had dawned an attire that most Decapodian males drooled over. Doctor Zoidberg was a case in point, and he didn’t take kindly to other males doing the same though. The atmosphere was relaxed and dinner was pleasant. Leela and Fry were finally able to kick back, relax, and wish their friends well.)

Leela: (pleasant) “I propose a toast.” (they raise their glasses) “To the happy couple! May tomorrow be…well…umm…to your future off spring! I hope they’ll turn out to be fine people, just like their parents are.”

Fry: “Here! Here!”

(The four of them drink to that and wait for their waiter to come back with desert.)

Waiter: “Here you are folks. The four of you enjoy because the squid cake is to die for!”

Fry: (whispering to Leela) “I hope not literally.

Leela: (nods in agreement) “Humph.”

(The peace of the restaurant was suddenly shaken quite literally by very heavy footsteps. The glasses and silverware on all the tables start to rattle, and everyone looks around to see what the disturbance is.)

Leela: (concerned) “What the heck is that? An earth quake?”

Fry: (nervous) “A Decapodian T-Rex?”

(Just then a huge Decapodian male stomps his way through the restaurant and on a few patrons on his way over to the back booth where Alma, Leela, Fry, and Doctor Zoidberg are seated. His whole demeanor was none too friendly, and it was an indication that the real competition for Doctor Zoidberg had just shown up.)

Alma: (horrified) “Znarg?!…What are you doing here?” (furious) “I told you we’re through! I never wanted to see you, again!”

Dr. Zoidberg: (concerned) “Alma my sweet, who or what is this?”

Alma: (firm) “My veryvery…ex-boyfriend! Who I never wanted to see again!”

Znarg: (cold) “Alma, just because I’m a little rough, and I’ve killed many in your name for honor and glory doesn’t mean you can cast me, a Champion, aside.”

Alma: (outraged) “Champion?! You’re a cold, brutal thug! You treated me like an object with no warmth or feeling at all! In fact, you viewed me as nothing more than a sparring partner, and treated me as such after your drunken celebrations over so your called victories! They were nothing more than a one sided slaughter to inflate your already run away ego!”

Znarg: (angry) “Silence your mouth flaps female! You are still my mate. Did you really think an insignificant note saying “We’re through and I never want to see you again.” would be taken serious by me? I will have what I want regardless!

Alma: (cold) “That, and for many other reasons is why I want absolutely nothing to do you. Not now, and not ever again! I had some growing up and soul searching to do. I’m there now, and you’re nowhere. So, I’ve said everything I had to say to you. Now leave!

Dr. Zoidberg: (stand up firmly) “You heard her. I suggest you do it, bottom feeder!

Znarg: (annoyed) “Alma. Who is this…puny thing?”

Alma: (proud) “His name is Doctor John Zoidberg!…And he is my mate!

(Alma has just effectively thrown gas on the fire, and Leela and Fry know it!)

Fry: (to Leela) “Ho boy…Leels, this is going to get really uglyreally fast!

Leela: (to Fry) “I know…get ready for anything.”

(Znarg roars his disapproval over this proclamation. He raises his head fin in challenge and bares his huge sharpened claws. In a flash, Doctor Zoidberg jumps up on the table. He raises his head fin and has his claws up clacking in response to the threat.)

Leela: (alarmed) “Yikes!”

Znarg: (furious) “I’ll end this right now!

(Znarg was about to launch into a vicious attack against Doctor Zoidgerg, but he stops when he sees that the two humans also sitting in the booth have laser pistols trained on him, and their expressions meant business. Normally he wouldn’t hesitate, but the human male’s weapon was not to be taken so lightly. He had no choice but to back down, and he never backed down to anyone.)

Znarg: (cold) “So, weakling. Do you need your puny human friends to fight your battles for you?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (enraged) “No! Because I challenge you to Claw Plaque! In the Arena tomorrow! To the Death!

Znarg: (amused) “Ha ha ha ha ha! You don’t stand a chance in Decapodian hell. It would be easier for you to die right now. I’ll make it quick and painless.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (loud) “In your dreams, claim bait! Alma, choose me. She’s my mate now because I love her, and I don’t treat her like she’s my property or less. I’m going to take you apart for coming here tonight and upsetting her!”

Znarg: (disgusted) “Oh, how touching. If you fight as well as you boast you may actually last a few seconds, but not likely.

Alma: (furious) “That’s enough, Znarg! I demand that you leave right now or I’m going to ask our good friends Fry and Leela to cut loose on you!”

Znarg: (fuming) “Very well. I’ll leave, but mark my words, Alma. After this so called match is over…you’re mine!

Dr. Zoidberg: (defiant) “Over my dead shell she is!”

Znarg: (malicious) “That’s the idea.”

(Znarg feigns to leave and the group starts to stand down, but in a flash he turns and lunges with one sharp claw at Doctor Zoidberg. Doctor Zoidberg’s instinctive reflex moves him out of the way in time, and Znarg’s claw continues on to the person behind him, and that’s Fry. Leela screams and pulls him out of the way just in time as Znarg’s huge claw ends up imbedded in the cushion where he was seated a moment ago. Leela now has her laser pistol aimed right between Znarg’s eyes.)

Leela: (furious) “You listen and listen good! I’m giving you exactly five seconds to lumber away from us or else!

(Znarg finally and wisely backs down. He can tell that the enraged human female means business.)

Znarg: (fuming) “Tomorrow, Zoidberg. I won’t miss. So, until then…Alma.”

(He then struts off pushing other patrons out of his way as he leaves. Doctor Zoidberg finally steps down from the table and takes his seat again next to Alma. Leela was still clutching Fry close to herself. Protecting him. She at last lowers her laser pistol and lets go of Fry, but thoroughly checks and pats him over for any harm.)

Leela: (concerned) “Are you alright?

Fry: (panting lightly) “Yeah. I’m fine…Thanks to you.”

Leela: (dead serious) “I swear, if he had harmed you in any way I would have……”

Fry: (reassuring) “I know…I’m glad it didn’t have to come to that.”

Alma: (sincere) “I’m so sorry for what just happened. Please forgive me.”

(sighs) “It’s very plain to see why I’m not with him anymore.”

Fry and Leela: “No kidding!

Alma: (sad) “Yes, I thought I had left that terrible mistake behind, but I guess it wasn’t enough. John, are you seriously going to fight him tomorrow?”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Of course! I’m not backing down from the likes of him. Even if he is twice my size. He’s offended and threatened you, and our friends! I may not be a Claw Plaque Champion, but I’m not going to let what he did here tonight slide. This is one death that Doctor John Zoidberg will proudly take credit for.”

Alma: (serious) “That’s very brave and honorable John, but also very foolhardy. Why did you have to do that?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (shocked) “What? Alma, what are you saying? I thought you’d be pleased that I stood up for your honor.”

Alma: (sad) “John, didn’t you listen or pick up on anything that was said? Znarg, is Decapod’s Claw Plaque Champion! He’s undefeated. No challenger has survived a battle with him. What good is my honor if you’re dead?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (serious) “Alma. There’s a first time for everything. I’m going to beat him. For you. For us!

Leela and Fry: (surprised) “What?!

Leela: (concerned) “Doctor Zoidberg. Are you serious?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (certain) “Deadly serious.”

Fry: (concerned) “But, you’ll be boned! Against that likes of that…thing!

Dr. Zoidberg: (confident) “Not necessarily, Fry. I’ll think of a strategy or something.

(sighs) “For now, let’s all call it a night why not? Check please!”

(The group departs Red Prime Ape, and heads cautiously in the general direction of the PE ship. They soon stop at the cross roads where Alma would head home to her apartment. She then makes an unexpected request to her new mate.)

Alma: (quiet) “John. Would you please stay with me at my place tonight?”

(smiles) “I’d feel safer, and I…I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

(Doctor Zoidberg smiles, and looks to his friends for their approval. Leela and Fry both smile and nod in response. Alma and Doctor Zoidberg walk off together into the night, and Leela and Fry head for the PE ship.)

Leela: (sighs) “Phil, what are we going to do? I wish I had Doctor Zoidberg’s confidence about tomorrow.”

Fry: (quiet) “I know. That show of confidence is for Alma’s and our sakes. I’ll bet he’s actually shaking under his shell, but he won’t show it now.” (weary) “I don’t know. I’m honestly not sure if he even stands a chance tomorrow. Not against that Mongoloid.”

(Leela and Fry get back to the PE ship safely and make sure it’s locked down and secured. Once that was done they retired to the Captain’s quarters for the evening. Leela and Fry lie on the comfortable bed together, and try to think of anything that could possibly help their friend tomorrow.)

Leela: (groans) “No! That idea was as bad as the last one you had!”

Fry: (weary) “Well, I’m fresh out.” (sighs) “Listen, tired minds don’t plan well. So let’s call it a night. Oh, by the way. What time is their match tomorrow?”

Leela: (frustrated) “Aww damn it! I knew I forgot to ask something.”

Fry: (tired) “Forget it. Just set your alarm to get us up early enough. We’ll figure the rest out from there.”

Leela: (yawns and turns off the light) “You’re right.”

(Fry snuggles up close to Leela. He puts one arm around her and gently nuzzles her neck. Unfortunately she was tired, and not really in the mood to cuddle tonight. She shrugs off his arm, and then inches away and turns on her side.)

Leela: (mildly annoyed) “Phil. Not tonight, ok…I’m too tired.”

(Fry feels bad for not considering just how fatigued she is. Picking up on subtle hints and signals was something that he was still learning. However, there was a little something that he could do to help her take the edge off, and he wanted to go to sleep on good terms. Fry very cautiously and gently began to stroke her hair. It helped to release her tension, and it let her relax. Leela’s annoyance quickly melted away under his gentle touch.)

Fry: (gentle) “I’m sorry, Leels. I know you’re tired, and I know you’ve been putting up with a lot lately. Especially with me and all. I just wanted you to know…well. You’re a remarkable woman. Remarkably patient and kind. I just wanted you to know that, ok.” (sighs) “It’s been a busy week. Good night, Leels.”

(Fry kisses her on the cheek and then turns on his side facing away from Leela and settles down for the evening. The feelings of guilt rise up in Leela as she thinks about what he had just said. It quickly reaffirms in her mind how much she loves him, and just how lucky she is to have Fry. All he wanted was to snuggle up to her, and give each other a little comfort for a few moments before going to sleep. That wasn’t asking for much. Leela rolls over facing Fry’s back. She could hear that he was drifting off to sleep. Leela gently pulls Fry close to her body, nuzzles his back and sighs. This wakes Fry from just drifting off.)

Fry: (concerned) “Hmm? Leels, what’s the matter?”

Leela: (gentle) “I’m sorry, Philip.”

Fry: (curious) “For what?”

Leela: (sad) “I didn’t mean to push you away.”

Fry: (warm) “I know that. You’re tired, and we’re both worried about what’s going to happen to the two of them tomorrow.”

Leela: (sighs) “Yeah.”

(Fry turns facing up and wraps his arms around Leela. She felt a bit better now in his gentle embrace, and soon sleep over came them. What ever the outcome tomorrow would bring, they were going to lose their friend. One way or the other.)

Next Day…

(The rays of sunlight coming through the view port awakened Leela from a sound sleep, and she looks over at her boy friends slumbering form. She smiles and gently kisses him on the cheek. Fry starts to stir and reluctantly opens his eyes.)

Fry: (yawns) “Ohhh…good morning. Sleep well?”

Leela: (smiling) “Yeah. I did. I actually feel rested now.”

Fry: “Good. Uhh…what the heck time is it?”

(Leela checks her clock and is horrified.)

Leela: “Oh no! It’s well passed 10:00 A.M.!”

Fry: (amused) “Let me guess. You forgot to set the alarm?”

Leela: (frustrated) “Yes, damn it! Come on, Phil! Get dressed right now! We have to move it!”

Fry: “Ok! Ok! Leels. It’s alright.”

(Leela and Fry quickly throw on their regular attires and leave the PE ship in a mad rush to find their friends before the Claw Plaque matches start. They check at Alma’s apartment. No luck there unfortunately. They searched the immediate area, and check the old Arena where the matches were being held the last time that they were there. It had been abandoned. Their search was getting nowhere fast. Finally, Leela stopped a stranger for help on where the Claw Plaque matches were being held.)

Leela: (pleasant) “Excuse me, Sir!…I’m sorry, but could you please tell us where and when the Claw Plaque matches are being held today?”

Stranger: (annoyed) “Oy! Lady, the matches have been under way for almost an hour now. The last match is coming up shortly though.” (sad) “I pity that poor fool of a Nephew of mine. He’s fighting “Znarg the Undefeated” and he doesn’t stand a chance! I told him he was better off in serious drama, but not this serious!”

Fry: (shocked) “Wait a minute! Harold Zoid? What the hell are you doing here?”

Harold Zoid: “The one and only, and mind your own business!”

Leela: “Mr. Zoid! Can you please tell us where the matches are being held?” (angry) “And you shut up about him not standing a chance! He’s our friend!”

Fry: (mad) “Yeah! What kind of an Uncle are you?”

Harold Zoid: “Oy! Take a chill pill you two! I told him no female is worth dieing over. Killing over perhaps, but not dieing over. Why do ya think I’m still alive?”

Leela: (annoyed) “What ever! Just tell us already!”

Harold Zoid: (pointing) “Oy! It’s right over there. All ya have to do is follow the cheering of that blood thirsty crowd, and you’re there!”

Leela: “Thank you!” (grabbing Fry’s hand) “Come on, Phil!”

(The two of them take off running in the direction of the new Arena.)

Harold Zoid: (disgusted) “Stupid tourists. Oy there should be a law!”

(Leela and Fry run as fast as they can. They were making decent head way because of Fry’s improved physique and endurance. He had no trouble keeping up with Leela at all now after a constant regiment of working out everyday together. It has paid off nicely. He is now lean, and has toned up his muscles. Fry’s not quite on Leela’s level yet, but close enough to it.)

(They arrive at the new Arena and marvel for a moment at its grandeur.)

Fry: (impressed) “Wow! I didn’t know you could do that with mud. It’s kind of a rip off of the Coliseum. Don’t you think?”

Leela: “Never mind that! Come on!

(Leela grabs his wrist and pulls him along forcefully through one of the grand entrances.)

Fry: “Whoa! Take it ease, Leels. I’m coming! Just where are we heading anyways?”

Leela: “To the Emperor’s box of course! We’ll start there! At the top.”

Fry: “That’s kind of gutsy isn’t it?”

(They look to see where the large grand box for the Emperor of Decapod is located, and start to ascend one of the main stairways for a better vantage point.)

Fry: (panting) “Leels look! We’re too late.”

(Leela and Fry both stop half way up the stairs and are horrified to see that the last Claw Plaque was indeed under way. Doctor Zoidberg and Znarg were locked in fearsome combat, and each bore a number with their battle attire. Znarg was of course # 1 and Doctor Zoidberg was appropriately # 13. The numbers did indeed match the combatants because Doctor Zoidberg was being beaten down to a shrimpy pulp. It had hardly been a fair match to begin with, and Znarg was toying with Zoidberg for now. He was just beating him around like a rag doll, and saving the worst for last. Those were always the biggest crowd pleasers. WHAM! POW! SNAP! CRUNCH!! Each powerful blow that Znarg delivered on Doctor Zoidberg was met by an equally blood cheer from the crowd, except for three. Doctor Zoidberg soon ends up on the other side of the ring face down in the mud. Znarg was in no hurry, and shaking his Claws up at the crowd to egg them on.)

(Leela scans around the Arena from their better vantage point, and they’re in luck. The Emperor’s box is located just one level higher and two isles over.)

Leela: (pointing) “Phil, look! We’re in luck. The Emperor’s box is just above us and slightly to the left. Let’s hurry before it’s too late!”

Fry: (relieved) “Thank heavens! I don’t think I could keep up this pace up for much longer.”

(They rush to the Emperor’s box, and are blocked by two royal guards. Leela tries to push through them, but they roughly shove her back into Fry. Big mistake. She charges at them, jumps, and does a duel Kung Fu split kick that knocks the two guards flat. The way was clear now.)

Fry: (amused) “You’ve got to teach me that move, Leels.”

(They enter the Emperor’s box and find him cheering and gorging himself silly on an assortment of Decapodian delicacies. We’re talking Nero to the max! Unfortunately cheering and pigging out don’t mix, and he starts to chock at the sight of the intruders.)

Leela: (to herself) “Oh great. Another fat pompous buffoon!

(Leela acts quickly and smacks the Decpodian Emperor on the back hard. The rough Heimlich maneuver works, and he spews what ever he was chocking on down on the poor patrons below his box. A chorus of outrage and disgust comes up from below.)

Emperor: (gasping) “Off worlders! What is the meaning of this intrusion? Guards!

Leela: (miffed) “Hey! I just saved your life. At least hear us out.”

Emperor: (relents) “Very well, but be quick about it! The best part is coming up.”

Fry: (polite) “Your Majesty, Sir. We respectfully request a time out for our friend down in the ring, Doctor Zoidberg. He’s the one getting pummeled into a crab cake.”

Emperor: (outraged) “What? This isn’t some silly Earthican Ape match. This is Claw Plague! It doesn’t end until someone is Kaput!

Leela: “Your Majesty, please!

Emperor: (fed up) “Guards!!!

(Five royal guards come into the Emperor’s box to remove the interlopers, but just as they were about to get their claws on Leela and Fry, Alma comes rushing to the box to plead their case.)

Alma: (desperate) “Sire, please! Znarg’s opponent is my mate. I’m begging you for that time out call, so my friends here can help him.”

Emperor: (confused) “Wait a minute. I understood that Znarg was your mate, and these ugly off worlders are your friends?”

Alma: (serious) “I’ll vouch for Leela and Fry here. They are my friends, and Znarg and I are history. I’ve chosen a new ma….”

Emperor: (interrupting) “So, that means you’re now fair game. Does it not?” (lustful) “Hmm…quite an attractive female you are. Just what are you willing to do for a break in the action?”

Alma: (shocked) “Sire. I…I…just tried to tell you. I’ve chosen Doctor Zoidberg to be my new mate!”

Emperor: (mocking) “Chosen…Shmosen. I’ll make it simple for you….”

Alma: “My name is Alma! And just what are you suggesting?!”

Emperor: “Like I said…Alma, I’ll make it simple for you. Give yourself to me willingly, and be my mate at sundown for the Frenzy, and then I’ll call for an official fifteen-minute break in the match for the combatants to recuperate.” (pointing) “Especially the puny one. You don’t have long to decide.”

(Alma looks down from the box to see her poor Zoidberg desperately trying to hold up against Znarg’s continuing onslaught, and being beaten horribly. It appeared that Znarg had tired of toying with his opponent, and was about to kick into full kill mode. Alma had to decide now. So, she listened to her heart and made a fateful decision.)

Alma: (resigned) “Alright. I’ll do it. Now please! Stop the match.”

Fry: “What?”

Leela: “Oh no.”

Emperor: (amused) “I’m sorry. What will you do?”

Alma: (loud) “I said…I’ll give myself willingly to you!” (sad) “Anything I can do to try help my poor John.”

Emperor: (satisfied) “Good…I’m glad you understand. Now then.”

(The Decapodian Emperor sounds a signal to halt the match, and makes a brief announcement that due to mitigating circumstances there would be a fifteen-minute break in the last Claw Plaque match so the combatants can recuperate.)

Emperor: (announcing) “Guards! Separate those two, and stand watch over the Champion.”

(The Crowd reacts with confusion and boos over this unusually turn of events. Znarg in the mean time was being pushed back from his downed opponent, and none too happy over having his thunder stolen.)

Znarg: (booming in fury) “Sire! This is an outrage! I’m about to finish this pathetic piece of cloacial matter! Once and for all!”

Emperor: (furious) “How dare you question you’re supreme ruler! I made you, and I can break you.” (roars) “Stand down! Or you will be put down! Permanently!

(The guards get ready to assault the Champion if he should disobey. Znarg reluctantly backs off from his downed opponent, and looks up at the Emperor’s box in rage.)

Emperor: (points to Fry) “You! What is your name?”

Fry: (disgusted) “It’s Fry, you basta…uhh…I mean your Emperorship…Sir.”

Emperor: “Hmm…I suggest you get down there and help your friend while you can. I cannot guarantee his safety for much longer.”

Alma: (desperate) “Fry, please! Go and help, John! Pull him out of there before….”

Fry: (determined) “Alright. I’m going! Leela. Alma. You two stay here. I’ll do what I can.”

Leela: (concerned) “Ok…but be careful, Phil. Remember that Decapodian claws are lethal, and watch…”

Fry: (hurried) “I know! I know! Watch my back.”

Emperor: (loud) “Halt right there, you!

Fry: (annoyed) “What? What is it now?!

Emperor: (loud) “There will be no laser pistols down in the ring! Disarm yourself immediately!

Fry: (angry) “Damn it all! Fine! Leela, hold on to this for me. (Fry removes his utility gun belt and Taurus Raging Bull laser pistol, and hands it to Leela.) “There! Happy now?!

Emperor: “Proceed.”

Fry: (whispers to Leela.) “Keep an eye on him, and protect yourself and Alma at all times.”

(Leela nods and she notices that Fry was keeping his laser sword out of view. He winks at her, and then immediately leaves the Emperor’s box and races down the nearest main stairway. Leela smiles to herself in spite of the serious situation. Fry really didn’t need to tell her to watch out for herself and Alma, but she was impressed by his sudden initiative and take-charge attitude. That side of her boy friend had become more developed lately, and she liked it.)

(Fry races as fast as he can down to the Arena ring. Once the guards let him pass, he slogs through the muddy ring floor over to a downed and very battered Zoidberg. Znarg immediately becomes hostile to Fry’s presence and pushes the guards aside with ease. He struts over to his downed opponent with his human friend.)

Znarg: (gloating) “So, Zoidberg. Once again, your puny human friends have to come to the rescue.”

(Fry puts himself between Znarg and his downed friend. He ignites his laser sword and makes the lumbering oaf stop dead in his tracks.)

Fry: (warning) “Hey, Champ? Have you ever been cut by a laser blade? I have, and it hurts like hell! It’s amazing you know? The damage that it can inflict. Down right lethal!” (snarls) “So,…I ..suggest…you ...back…off!

(Znarg is once again forced to back down, but this time he was going to strike at his opponent’s friend. He was merely waiting for just the right moment while Fry was struggling with the muddy Arena ring, and trying to help Doctor Zoidberg with on arm and keep his defense up with the other. It wasn’t going to work that way, and Fry had to close his sword down to really help his friend.)

Fry: (struggling) “Come on, Doc! Get up! Quickly! I’ve got to get you out of here before…”

Dr. Zoidberg: (struggling) “Ohhh!…Ahh!….Nuugh!…Ohh!.. Fry?! You and Leela made it! Ouch! Ohhh…Thank you. You are a good friend, Fry.”

Fry: (hurried) “Of course we did, and we also found, Alma. Come on, Doc! We have a little less than fifteen minutes!”

(Fry finally succeeds in getting Doctor Zoidberg up, and tries to move as quickly as possible to get them out harms way. Unfortunately it wasn’t quick enough, and Znarg had been waiting for just this moment to strike. Doctor Zoidberg felt the support go out from under him, and he falls hard on to the muddy ring floor. He recovered his wits in time to see his friend flying through the air. Znarg had dealt Fry a full forced blow that was so powerful that he didn’t stop until he hit the Arena wall. Fry bounces hard off the wall, and lays still on the muddy ring floor.)

(Doctor Zoidberg could hear over the roar of the crowd a familiar female voice screaming out in protest. That was Leela, and she had some how managed to get a hold of the Emperor’s mic, but his guards quickly cut her off and restrained her. Doctor Zoidberg heard her strangled cry of protest, and he looked over at the form of his fallen friend. He then looks up at Znarg who was laughing out loud. Suddenly, something had ignited with in the core of his being, White-hot rage! He could hardly believe that the battle cry that rang out was his!)

(Znarg didn’t even know what hit him. Suddenly, this puny individual that he had kicked and beaten around with ease had suddenly become a whirling vortex of furry! Blow upon blow, and slash upon slash was landed on his head, arms, chest, and stomach. Znarg wasn’t even sure how he had suddenly ended up on this side of the ring, but his survival instinct kick in and he blasted Doctor Zoidberg in the face with his ink. It was cheap shot, and that only made Doctor Zoidberg even more furious! He slashed Znarg across the face! Thing’s had definitely gone into overtime, but the guards finally pulled the two raging warriors apart.)

(The cheering tide of the crowd had shifted from Znarg the Champion to Zoidberg the Under Dog! Doctor Zoidberg however didn’t have time for such trivialities, and scuttled as fast as he could over to his fallen friend who to his relief had recovered somewhat. The look on Fry’s face was complete astonishment, but it quickly turned into admiration.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (concerned) “Fry! How badly are you hurt?! Can you get up?”

Fry: (smiles and groans) “Yeah, I think so…ohhhhh, man! Did you happen to get the number of that sky bus?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (amused) “I did as matter of fact. Come on, Fry! It’s my turn to help you.”

(Doctor Zoldberg quickly pulls Fry out of the Arena ring and into a safe anti chamber. He now has a moment to properly check on the condition of his friend.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (concerned) “Are you sure you’re alright, Fry? For a moment there I thought he had killed you!”

Fry: (weakly) “Yeah, I’ll be alright. I got banged up pretty good though, and I had the wind knocked out of me.” (groans) “Ohhh…I’m still seeing stars. I’m amazed you survived that prolonged beating, and then your come back.

(Fry takes a good look at Doctor Zoidberg’s condition, and that only reinforces in his mind that you should never underestimate the under dog.)

Fry: (concerned) “How badly are you off, Doc?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (down cast) “Ughhh!…I don’t think I’ll survive another assault. I used up everything I had left when I fought back against him.” (serious) “Fry, I can’t beat him. He’s too skilled and strong!”

Fry: (encouraging) “Doc!…I saw what you did out there and it was amazing! You stood up to him. Face to face, and fought him fairly. You must have heard the crowd cheer for you, and booing Znarg for inking you out of desperation. You also physically cut him, and hurt him in his most vulnerable spot. His pride! Znarg now knows he’s not invincible.”

Dr. Zoidberg (serious) “I was only able to do that after I saw what he did to you. I can’t really describe it. I saw red, and then all my focus was on one thing. Beating the crud out of that overgrown thug! For Alma, and you my friend, but now…now I’m spent. Fry, I can’t win against that much brute strength and experience.” (sad) “I’m sorry.”

(Doctor Zoidberg hunches over and sighs. Fry tries to think of something to say, but he falls short. All he can do is pat his friend on the back, and not say anything further. Doctor Zoidberg was right. He couldn’t beat an enormously strong and seasoned warrior like Znarg with just courage and his own strength. Fry knew now that he definitely had the courage, but it would take guile and the completely unexpected for Doctor Zoidberg to win. But what? Fry pats his friend on the back again, and observes the number thirteen on the back of his battered battle attire.)

Fry: (contemplating to himself) “Hmm…thirteen. Unlucky thirteen. Warrior. Hmm…the thirteenth warrior. Wait a minute! “The Thirteenth Warrior.” What was that fighting technique that I saw that I thought was so cool? Hmmmm……Uhhh……...of course!” (out loud) “That’s it!

Dr. Zoidberg: (looking up) “Huh…What’s it?

Fry: (excited) “Doc!…There is a way to beat him! A fighting technique that remembered seeing a while ago. It was a little something you gave to me as a gift. We watched it together remember?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (desperate) “What is it? Our time’s almost up!”

Fry: (serious) “Doc, listen to me very carefully! Try to think back and remember this. I’ll walk you through it, but it will be up to you to make it work.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Fry?”

(Meanwhile, the crowd is growing restless as well as the Decapodian Emperor.)

Leela: (concerned) “I pray that Phil’s alright.” (to the Emperor) “That was an unforgivable cheap shot by your so called Champion. He’s not so tough now! Is he?”

Emperor: (warning) “Lady. One more outburst or obnoxious comment, and you’ll be sorry! I promise.”

Leela: (to herself) “We’ll just see who’s going to be sorry.”

Alma: (appeasing) “Leela. Your Fry is going to be alright, and that’s how Znarg always fights.” (awed) “I can hardly believe the way John rose up and fought back against him! No challenger has ever done that against Znarg.” (quiet) “I knew I made the right choice when I listened to my heart about John. I’d be his now if only…Oh, wish this had never had happened.”

Leela: (encouraging) “Don’t give up on John Zoidberg just yet. It’s not over!”

Alma: (sad) “Either way, I’m going to lose. I won’t have the choice now with whom I want to mate with. It’s irrelevant though, because I’ve made a choice, Leela. But I want, John.”

Leela: (sad) “Alma….”

Alma: “Look! Here they come.” (sighs) “The match is about to restart.”

Fry: (encouraging) “Ok, Doc. Good luck, and remember!…Prepare for just the right moment.”

Doctor Zoidberg nods at his friend and struts off to the center of the ring to meet the challenge. Znarg and Doctor Zoidberg meet each other again face to face.)

Znarg: (cold) “It’s time. I’m going to break you now.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (smiles) “Go for it Champ.”

(The two combatants get into battle stance and wait.)

Emperor: (announcing) “Let Claw Plaque recommence!

(In a blur of brutal furry the two warriors are once again locked in combat.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (obnoxious) “Can you kindly just hold still so I can kill you already? I don’t want to keep my Alma waiting any longer than I have to why not!”

Znarg: (furious) “Why you little…!”

Dr. Zoidberg: “That’s right tough guy! Give me your best shot!”

(Znarg does just that. He lunges down, and launches into Zoidberg with such ferocity that most of the audience patrons were soon groaning, turning away, or cover the eyes of the little ones. It was so fast and brutal that Doctor Zoidberg had fallen again, and he stayed down. Never the less Znarg continues to pound him mercilessly. The kicking and hard hits on the downed challenger soon take their toll, and Znarg stops at last to admire his handy work.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (crawling) “Ohhhhh…..Me and my big mouth flaps.”

(Znarg lifts Doctor Zoidberg up with ease and smiles with malice up at the audience. The out poring of protest didn’t faze him in the slightest bit.)

Fry: (horrified) “Oh my God.

(Znarg tosses his battered opponent away like so much garbage and looks up at the Emperor’s Box defiantly. Alma had turned away from the spectacle. She couldn’t bare to watch the end. Leela was bracing herself for worst, and prepares to comfort Alma.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (to himself) “That’s right, Znarg. Continue your gloating.”

Znarg: (amused) “Just where do you think you’re going?!”

(He struts back over to the downed and beaten Zoidberg, and towers above him. Znarg is literally casing a certain shadow of death down upon him. Doctor Zoidberg stops struggling and looks back and up over his shoulder. There was no escape.)

Fry: (shouting) “Doc! Watch out!

Dr. Zoidberg: (resigned) “Finish it.”

Znarg: (amused) “For once I agree with you, and it will be a pleasure.”

(Znarg then lunges down with both of his huge sharp claws on the hapless Zoidberg. His intent was to slice him clean in two, and that was his favorite method in dispatching a downed opponent. There was only one small problem. There was suddenly no opponent to slice in two, and his huge claws plunge deep into the ring’s muddy floor. The last thing that Znarg ever felt was two sharp claws neatly cutting through his exposed neck! Snap! Crunch!! Squirt!!! Znarg’s neck had been cleanly severed, and his head squirts off and rolls a few short feet in the mud. The frozen look of complete surprise on Znarg’s face was priceless! So much for the Champ.)

Fry: (awed) “Whoa! Heh. That was even cooler in real life!”

(Doctor Zoidberg then picks up Znarg’s severed head, and puts one foot on the collapsed brute’s dead body. He then raises his head fin and claws high, and roars out loud to proclaim his victory! The stunned audience then cheers back in response. Doctor Zoidberg tosses the severed head up into the crowd, and that only made them roar even louder! They responded by shower flower petals down upon him in the ring. He was the new Claw Plaque Champion!)

Fry: (mortified) “Ok. That was disturbing!” (to himself) “Now you’re just showing off, Doc. I guess you can call that little audience pleaser, fresh ham.

(Up at the Emperor’s box Leela and Alma were equally shocked and a little bit disturbed by Doctor Zoidberg’s victory proclamation. However, it was quickly replaced by joy over the realization that Alma was now free of Znarg, but the Emperor quickly made that come crashing down.)

Emperor: (firm) “It hardly matters who won down there. Just remember what you promised! Znarg may not have been able to kill him, but I will!

Alma: (sad) “Yes…I know our bargan, Sire.”

Leela: (low growl) “Why I ought to.”

(The Emperor’s guards restrain Leela, and force her to sit back down with Alma.)

(Back down in the ring, Fry is very cautiously approaching Doctor Zoidberg.)

Fry: (nervious) “Uhh…Doc?”

(Doctor Zoidberg turns on Fry and comes at him with claws and head fin raised! The expression on his face was twisted and freighting. Fry had no time to react all!)

Fry: (scared) “No, Doc! It’s me! It’s….Ahhhhhhh!”

(Fry had closed his eyes and braced himself for the worst, but he suddenly felt himself being crushed in a huge bear hug!)

Fry: (surprised) “What the?!

Dr. Zoidberg: (amused) “Gotcha!

Fry: (angry) “Oh, you filthy crab! Don’t you ever do that again!”

(Fry breaks free and starts to chase Doctor Zoidberg around the ring, and it turns into quite an amusing spectacle.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (scuttling) “Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!”

Fry: (shouting) “That’s right, brine shrimp! You better scuttle!”

(The audience was soon laughing hysterically at the two clowns down in the ring, but the Decapodian Emperor has finally had enough.)

Emperor: (loud) “Enough!” (frank) “Congratulations, Zoidberg. On your unexpected victory. You are the new Claw Plaque Champion.” (to the audience) “To all of you out there in the audience who are going to be in the Frenzy. I will see at the spawning beach at sunset with your mates.” (smiles sly at Alma) “I know I’ll be with mine.”

(Alma starts to cry bitterly and Leela does her best to comfort her. She looks at the Emperor with complete loathing. The Emperor rises and his guards accompany him to leave the private box. He stops to have one last word with the sobbing woman.)

Emperor: (disgusted) “Oy! Quit your blubbering! It’s making me all queasy. You better be there because I have your promise on it. If you try to shirk out of it, then you and your friends will pay for it. Especially lover boy down there. He’ll suffer the worst! I’ll see to it.”

Alma: (sobbing) “I told you already that I’d do it, and I gave you my word. You’ve won alright!”

Emperor: (satisfied) “Good. Heh, I always do. So, until tonight then, Alma.”

(turns back) “Oh, and by the way. Don’t wear anything…complicated. Ahh…It’s good to be the king.”

(The Emperor and his guards then strut off leaving Alma and Leela to think about what was said.)

Alma: (distraught) “Oh, Leela. How am I going to tell this, to John? Znarg failed to kill him, but this will break his hearts! I rather die myself than hurt him.”

Leela: (sympathetic) “I know. I’m at a loss on this one.” (sighs) “It’s a no win situation. Come on, the guys are going to be waiting for us.”

(Both Leela and Alma get up to leave, but stop when they see both Fry and Doctor Zoidberg are still down in the ring.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (amused) “Alright, Fry! I’m sorry. I promise. I won’t scare you like that again! I did have you going though, didn’t I?”

Fry: “Yeah you did! Anyways, I was even more scared when Znarg was about to finish you off.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (surprised) You were Scared?! Heh! I’m still waiting for him to kill me.”

Fry: (looking over at Znarg’s corpse) “I don’t think you and Alma will have to worry about him anymore.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (serious) “Fry. Thank you.”

Fry: (smiles) “Ehh…No biggie.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (sincere) “Yes, biggie! If it hadn’t been for your timely arrival and last minute strategy, I’d be clam bait now. Thanks to you, and Leela. I’m finally going to get my chance in the mating Frenzy, and with the girl I love.”

Fry: (reluctant) “Sure, Doc. You more than deserve it.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (pointing up) “Fry, my good friend. Look! It’s our gals. There still waiting for us. Huh?…Why are they both up in the Emperor’s Box?”

Fry: (evasive) “Better vantage point I guess. Let’s wave to them, Doc.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (waving and shouting up at Alma) “Alma my sweet! I’m still alive!”

Fry: (shouting and waving) “We’ll meet you both at the main entrance!”

(Leela and Alma both wave down to them and leave the Emperor’s box. Fry and Doctor Zoidberg do the same and leave the Arena ring, so that the battered Champion can clean himself up a little bit before meeting up with the ladies.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (concerned) “Fry? Alma seemed either overjoyed or very upset about something. You know a lot more about feelings and romance than I do. She seemed to be crying.”

Fry: (evasive) “I’m sure that she’s just…overjoyed.… That you’re alive, and victorious.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Hmm…”

(The foursome finally meets up out side the Arena, and for now it’s a happy reunion.)

Alma: (hugging Zoidberg) “John, you were magnificent!

Dr. Zoidberg: (warm) “Well, you have Fry to thank for that. It was his timely arrival, and brilliant last minute strategy is what saved me, Alma.”

Fry: “Doc! Your courage and determination were far more important in the end. You didn’t give up or give into fear over an overwhelming adversary.”

Leela: “The credit is due to you both. You two are loveable clowns most of the time. However, when push comes to shove…Well, we’re both very impressed and happy you two are alright.”

(Fry and Doctor Zoidberg give each other a high five and start a victory dance, but Fry soon stops because of his sore body. Znarg’s blow was still smarting pretty bad.)

Fry: (groans and grimaces) “Oww…ohhh…man! Ummph! I getting tired of being a punching bag for other peoples frustrations.”

(Leela comes over to Fry and wraps him up in a big hug.)

Leela: (gentle) “It’s alright. If anyone else other then me tries to give you a hard time. Then, they’re going to have to answer to me. I was really scared there for a moment that you had been severely injured.” (smiles) “You’re a lot tougher than I thought. That’s good to know.”

Fry: (groans) “I nearly was. Ugh! Leels, Honey. Please, not so tight. I’m pretty banged up.” (concerned) “And why do you think it’s a good thing that I can take abuse?”

(Leela loosen up her hug and looks him in the eyes. He had unfortunately misunderstood what she had meant.)

Leela: (sad) “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that in a bad way. (seductive) “In fact. Eventually, I think you’ll like by what I really mean by that.” (warm) “I’ll take care of you after we depart tonight. I know some TLL will make you feel a lot better.”

(It finally dawned on Fry by what she really meant, and he smiles to himself about the attention he would be given later tonight. In fact he had to stop himself from drooling like an idiot. Fry didn’t want to embarrass Leela. Well not too much.)

Alma: (curious) “Uhh…TLL?”

Fry: (seductive) “Tender…Loving…Leela.”

Alma: “Ohhhh!”

Leela: (embarrassed) “Phil!”

Dr. Zoidberg: (chuckling) “Speaking of tender loving. Alma, my sweet. Shall we?”

Alma: (stammering) “Uhhh…yes of course. Let’s both prepare for the Frenzy. We have sometime to get ready. I’ll meet you back at your ship before sunset.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (warm) “Of course, Honey. We’ll see you there. Is everything alright?”

Alma: (smiles) “Absolutely.”

(Alma kisses her mate, and hurries off in the direction of her apartment to prepare for the Frenzy. Alma left them fast than she had intended. She didn’t want her beloved John to see the tears.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (concerned) “Hmm. Do either of you have an inclination that there’s something’s wrong?”

Leela: (evasive) “No. Of course not! It’s just such…umm…an important thing for

your society’s women…that… it’s a bit overwhelming. Especially for Alma…right, Phil?” (elbows Fry in the side.)

Fry: (doubles over in pain) “Ummph!” (groans) “Oh, certainly. Especially after what she went through with Znarg, and all.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (relived) “You two are right. I have nothing to really worry about now.”

(The three of them start off together in the direction of the PE ship.)

Fry: (whimpers to Leela) “Leels, please take it easy on me.”

Leela: (whispers back to Fry) “I’m sorry, Hon. But try to suck it up.”

Fry: (grumbling) “Oh brother. Suck it up? Humph!”

(Back at the PE ship, Fry and Doctor Zoidberg take their time cleaning up while Leela was busy working out some stress on her punching bag. Fry eventually joins her, and observes her working out.)

Fry: (amused) “I always enjoy watching you go to town on that bag of yours. I can’t really decide whether to be terrified or turned on.”

Leela: (smiling) “Maybe you should be a little bit of both.

Fry: (concerned) “I just hope you’re not using my face a mental image!”

Leela: (amused) “No. Not this time.

Fry: (surprised) “What? Am I that bad?”

Leela: (laughs) “No! I was kidding. I’m using that fat Emperor to get me worked up.”

Fry: (disgusted) “Humph! Good image.”

(Fry suddenly slams his fist into Leela’s worn punching bag. The blow is so hard that it tears open, and spills sand all over the work out room floor.)

Leela: (shocked) “Whoa! Down boy! I see that the work outs have really paid off, but you’re going to have to clean this up now, and buy me a new bag.”

Fry: (surprised) “I’m sorry about that, Leels! Sure, I’ll clean this up.”

(Fry walks off to get a broom, brush and dustpan.)

Leela: (to herself) “Hmmm…now I’m the one who’s turned on.” (checking out what’s left of her punching bag.) “Damn! Not bad.”

(Sunset is soon fast approaching, and so is the time for the Frenzy. Leela, Fry, and Doctor Zoidberg are waiting patiently for Alma to arrive, so they can head down to the spawning beach. Both Leela and Fry look at each other in apprehension, but say nothing. Finally, Alma arrives. She’s wearing her very best attire for the special occasion.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (enraptured) “Alma. You look divine!” (offers her his claw) “Shall we?”

Alma: (warm) “Thank you, John. Yes, it’s time now.” (takes his claw in hers) “Let’s go.”

(Fry and Leela look over at Alma as they lead the way. She doesn’t look back over to them because it would shatter the front that she was putting up for her true mate. This was going to be the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. Not only was it going to be the last. It would also be the most regrettable as well.)

(The foursome soon came upon the sacred, but crowded spawning beach. The place was indeed packed with couples preparing for the Frenzy. Unfortunately, the Decapodian Emperor and his ante rage were also there waiting for them.

Fry and Leela: (groaning to themselves) “Great. Here we go.”

(The Emperor gives a signal his guards, and they immediately separate Alma and Doctor Zoidberg.)

Dr. Zoidberg: (shocked) “What? What is the meaning of this? Sire, why are separating me from my Alma?”

Emperor: (loud) “Correction! You mean my, Alma.” (to Alma) “Ah, Alma. I am pleased that you’ve held up your end of our bargain. There will be no unnecessary retribution now. So, are you ready to spawn the next generation of royalty?”

Alma: (resigned) “Yes, Sire. I will keep my word, and my end of our bargain.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (appalled) “Alma! What is this all about? What are you saying? What bargain?

Alma: (distraught) “John, I’m sorry. This is entirely my fault. I didn’t want you to die fighting Znarg, but I didn’t want it to end like this.” (sighs) “The fifteen minute break in the middle of your match was bought and paid for by me.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (shocked) “Alma. What have you done?”

Alma: (shamed) “I gave my word to the Emperor…that, I’d give myself to him freely. That’s what he demanded for the break in the match, and…I…I…gave in. John, I’m…I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (desperate) “Alma! This isn’t right, and it’s not fair. To us! Alma, I could never hate you. I love you, and that’s why I fought for you.” (distraught) “Oh, why is this happening again? Why?

Alma: (breaking down) “I know! John, please forgive me.”

(Leela and Fry have finally had enough, and can stay silent no longer. They voice their disapproval right to Emperor’s face.)

Fry: (disgusted) “This is so bogus. Don’t you have ears to hear? Do you even have a heart?!

Leela: (outraged) “How could you do this to them?! You could have almost any free woman in your stupid society, easily! Why does it have to be her?!

Emperor: (haughty) “Please. I don’t have to answer or explain anything to a couple of ugly off worlders like your selves. My word here is law! It’s that female that I desire, and that female I shall have. End of discussion! Now, get out of my face or my guards have yours rearranged!

Dr. Zoidberg: (determined) “No! I don’t care who you think you are! I won’t let you….”

(The two royal guards restraining Doctor Zoidberg sock him hard in the gut, and hit him on the back of his head. He collapses into the sand gasping and groaning. There was nothing he could do in his current condition, and Claw Plaque against the Emperor was out of the question. All he could do now is cry bitterly over his loss, and the cruel injustice of it all.)

Emperor: (satisfied) “There now. That’s finally settled.” (pointing to his guards) “I want you two to watch over him and his friends until after the Frenzy, and I want you four to stay with me and my mate here until just after we enter the sea.”

(What had just transpired happened in only a few moments, but Fry had finally had enough of this fat pompous windbag.)

Fry: (to himself) “Ok. That’s it. This calls for a classic Fry maneuver with my special touch. One clumsy idiot shuffle coming up!” (out loud) “Leela, help Doctor Zoidberg as best you can. I’m going to try to reason with him. One.. last.. time.

Leela: (exasperated) “Phil! We’ve tried everything. There’s not much else we can do now.”

Fry: (amused) “Oh yeah? Watch this.”

(Fry slips away quietly, and Leela kneels down next to Doctor Zoidberg to see how badly he’s hurting.)

Leela: (concerned) “Doctor Zoidberg? Are you…?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (distraught) “Please, Leela? Just leave me be.” (looks up) “Huh? What’s Fry doing now?”

Leela: (sighs) “I don’t know. I just hope he doesn’t try something stupid.

(Meanwhile, Fry tried to approach the Emperor again, but he was forcefully push back by his four royal guards.)

Fry: (fed up) “Ok. That’s how you want to play it huh?”

(Fry looks down at the mud caked handle of his laser sword that was on his left hip, and smiles. He hadn’t had the time to clean and polish it up. It was perfect.)

Fry: (spouting) “What?! Aww…God damn it! I’ve got mud clogged in my laser sword!”

(Fry pulls the dirty handle from his belt and starts to fumble with it clumsily.)

Fry: (ranting) “I can’t believe this! Every time! Jeeze! Stupid razza freaking….!”

(Fry’s ranting and raving starts out as just annoying, but it soon became down right obnoxious! He was ranting loudly and stumbling around all over the place, and into every person he came close to. His spectacle was soon beginning to drawl quite a crowd, and Fry started to work his way around and through the mating couples. Bumping and crashing into them clumsily. Then, Fry worked his way over to Leela, Doctor Zoidberg and the two Guards.)

Dr. Zoidberg: “Ouch! What’s the deal why not?”

Leela: (annoyed) “Hey! Phil, what the hell are you doing?!”

(The two guards roughly shove Fry away, and he starts to fumble and stumble his way over the Emperor and his ante rage. This had been going on for a little over ten minutes now, and it was driving everyone crazy! Especially the Emperor, and he finally had enough when Fry stumbled into the four guards, Alma, and then Him!)

Emperor: (furious) “Oy! Give me that stupid thing!”

Fry: (annoyed) “What? Hey, get away! I’m trying to fix it!”

Emperor: (growling) “I’ll fix it! I’ll fix it for good!

(The Emperor had unwisely managed to clamp on to Fry’s laser sword, and the two

started an all tug of war! Everyone on the beach was now focused on their spectacle, but still trying to give them a wide berth at the same time.)

Fry: (shouting) “Let go!

Emperor: (growling) “You let go!

(The tug of war and profanity becomes more and more intense by the moment.)

Leela: (embarrassed) “Oh Lord.”

(Suddenly, Fry looses his balance and pitches forward. At the same moment

the Emperor looses his grip on the laser sword.)

Fry: (screaming) “Ahhhhh! Watch out!

(It all happened instantly. Snap hiss!...SLASH!…VOOOOOMP!)

Emperor: (horrified) “OY!” (sound: Thud! Thud!)

Leela: (disbelief) “Oh…My… God!

Dr. Zoidberg: (surprised) “What?!

Alma: (overjoyed) “Yes!!!

(Time seemed to be standing still for Fry as he picked himself up and looked down

at the two separated halves of the Emperor lying in the sand. It was when

he “accidentally” stumbled and pitched forward is when his laser sword ignited,

and split the Emperor clean down the middle. Then, things finally started to register

for Fry again when he heard the collected gasp of horror that came from the

crowded beach. Fry quickly closed down his laser sword and put it back on his left

hip. The royal Decapodian guards came together and started to yammer amongst


Fry: (sheepish) “Uhh…sorry. That was my bad. I swear to what ever God you

believe in that it was an accident!” (sputtering) “He grabbed on to my sword you

see. Then he pulled! And then I pulled! Then he pulled! And I pulled! And then…”

Head Guard: (annoyed) “Alright we get it! Like you said. It was an accident. One that we can all live with!”

Fry: (relieved) “So, you’re not going to punish or kill me?”

Head Guard: (amused) “Kill you?! Meh! You did us all a service. If you hadn’t done

it. Someone else would have. He was the worst Emperor we ever had!”

(The whole beach crowd sounds off in a loud hardy agreement. In the mean time

Alma had gone over to help her mate up. The time was soon drawling near, and

they spent those moments comforting each other. Leela had quietly come over to

them to give something special back to Alma.)

Leela: (warm) “Alma. Here. I think you’d like to have this back.”

(It was the special gold shell necklace that Doctor Zoidberg had given her. She had

dropped it just as they came to the beach. Leela had seen her drop it and she knew

why. Now, everything was going to be alright, and Leela wanted to be sure now that

Alma had it back.)

Alma: (grateful) “Thank you, Leela.”

Leela: (warm) “My pleasure. Could you two excuse me for a moment?”

(Leela heads over to Fry and the small circle of royal guards.)

Head Guard: (sincere) “Really! We all hated the bloated jerk.”

Subordinate Guards: (agreeing) “Yup!, Uh Huh!, I hope gulls pick him clean!, May

he rot in Decapodian Hell!, He hit on my Sister, and me!

Head Guard: “You see? No big deal.”

Fry: (relieved) “Phew!”

Leela: (curious) “Uhh…I have one question though. Does this mean that Alma’s no

longer under any obligation?”

Head Guard: “Sheesh! Ask a dumb question. Of course she’s not. Alma’s free now,

and can choose who ever she wants.” (to his subordinates) “Come on, boys! Let’s

go out to celebrate and get hammered!

(The subordinate guards cheer and follow their leader.)

Fry: (happy) “Zam! Alma! Doctor Zoidberg! Did you guys hear that?!

Leela: (looking around) “Alma? Doctor Zoidberg?”

Dr. Zoidberg: (calling out) “We’re out here!

(Alma and Doctor Zoidberg were both holding claws and wading in the shallows.

Most of the other couples were already heading out into deeper waters. They had

stayed behind for a few moments longer to properly say goodbye to their friends, but

the time was fast approaching.)

Alma: (warm) “I want to thank you, both. For everything! Especially you, Fry! This

wouldn’t have been possible if you hadn’t come up with that brilliant rouse!”

Fry: (amused) “Heh heh heh! Nah! I’m dumber than I look.” (winks) “That’s what

they say of course.”

Dr. Zoidberg: (grateful) “Fry!…Leela! You are both my good friends! We’ll never

forget you. Maybe…Someday, you’ll meet a few of our youngsters.” (waving) “Take

good care of yourselves, and each other!” “Be sure to tell the Professor and the

others goodbye, and thanks! Oh, and tell Hermes that was me. He’ll know!

(Fry and Leela both wave sadly to their friends. Alma and Zoidberg wade out into deep water, and are lost from view amongst the other couples. The sun was just setting into the sea, and there was suddenly a very loud amount of Kraaaaawing!, as the waters of the shore become furious with the Mating Frenzy. The process of life soon came to its dynamic conclusion as huge gelatinous masses float up and cover the surface of the seashore. A rousing success!)

Leela: (grossed out) “Ewwwwww!

Fry: (nauseated) “Awwww! Man!…I’m never going to get used to that!

Leela: (queasy) “Hopefully, that was the last time!

Fry: (quiet) “Well, I think we should have a moment of silence for the two of them.)

(Leela and Fry close their eyes and bow their heads out of respect for their two

departed friends. Their task on Decapod 10 was now completed. A few moments

pass, and then Leela and Fry could hear the sea gulls coming in to do the gruesome

job of clean up.)

Leela: (adamant) “Come on…I don’t need to see this part.”

Fry: “Yeah…Amen to that.”

(They leave the sacred spawning beach together, and head for the PE ship.)

Leela: (curious) “Phil, tell me something. Was that laser sword of yours

malfunctioning? Or was it “really malfunctioning?!

(Fry looks over at Leela. He just smiles and rolls his eyes in a maybe or maybe not

kind of gesture.)

Leela: (shocked) “Ohh!…You are unbelievable sometimes. I swear!

Fry: (amused) “Heh heh heh…yeah, I know.”

Leela: (groans) “Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again.” (sighs) “I don’t think the

Professor is going to be too happy about losing a company officer. Especially our

Doctor. Doctor Zoidberg may have been a quack and a hack that lived and ate out

of a dumpster, but he was fairly inexpensive and reliable.”

Fry: (warm) “He was also good natured most of the time, and he had a sense of

humor at least. Yeah, that’s kind of Doctor isn’t easy to find.” (seductive) “Speaking

of Doctoring. Can I get a little TLL on the voyage home?”

Leela: (sighs) “Ohh…we’ll see.”

Fry: (smiling) “Preeety pleeease?! I’d love a good rub down.” (serious) “Hey! Don’t

make me beg. Because I’ll do it! I swear!”

Leela: “What ever.”

Fry: “Ok. That’s it. I’m begging!

(Fry gets a few feet in front of Leela. He spikes his hair into a silly looking Mohawk,

and he stands on one leg, tucks his arms and sounds off!)

Fry: (loud) “Kraaawww! Kraaawww! Kraaawwww! Kraa…Ahh…cough! cough! cough! hack! cough!…wheeze!

Leela: (cracking up) “Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, ho ha ha ha! Knock it off you silly idiot.

Before you kill yourself!”

Fry: (huffing) “Ohh…How can those guys stand, and do that for hours?”

Leela: (amused) “They were built for it. You’re not!

Fry: (curious) “So, did my display work?”

Leela: (sighs) “Yes…You’ve earned it, but no more silly displays like that, ok?

You know that I was going to anyways, right?”

Fry: (happy) Yeah, but I wanted to be sure. Do think you mind if I gave you a little

TLF?” I give a pretty good massage for one in return.”

Leela: (smiles) “Hmm…Some Tender Loving Fry? I guess I can’t say no to you. Oh,

by the way. My feet are killing me! Do you think you can handle that?”

Fry: (warm) “For you? Absolutely.”

(They continue on to the PE ship, but walk side by side and hold hands the rest of the way.)

Leela: “Phil?”

Fry: “Yeah, Leels.”

Leela: (curious) “Would you fight for me? The way Doctor Zoidberg fought for, Alma?”

Fry: (smiles) “Leels…I think you’d have to pity the fool in the end who’d try to take you from me. Hey? Let’s say if some chick tries to put her moves on me would you…?”

Leela: (amused) “If some “chick” tried putting her moves on you, then they’d be her last moves! I’m afraid I’d have to slay the little bitch.”

Fry: (amused) “Heh heh heh. That’s why I love ya.”

(After Leela and Fry got back aboard the PE ship they called into Planet Express headquarters and gave Hermes and the Professor a brief run down of everything that had happened. Leela was right about the Professor and Hermes not being too happy about losing the companies Doctor. There wasn’t much that they could do about that for the moment, but take off and set a course home to Earth.)

Leela: (weary) “There. We’re on our way home now, and we’ll be landing on Earth in about…twelve hours. So kick back and relax.” (sighs) “I’m not a real big hurry to take all the flak we’re going to get when we walk off the ship.”

Fry: “Yeah, I know. Hey Leels? Can I please pilot part of the way home? You said I could.”

Leela: “Ohh…alright. Just don’t do anything impulsive!

Fry: (amused) “What?! Me? Impulsive?

Leela: (not amused) “Phil…I’m already going to hear about it when we get back. Just…keep the ship on the nice straight course I’ve plotted. I know you can do that.”

Fry: (smiling) “Ok. You’re in no mood to kid around. I get it!” (gentle) “Why don’t

you go back and rest a bit. I’ll be back in a short while to…umm…help you unwind.

I haven’t forgotten, ok?”

Leela: (smiles) “You really have a one track mind, you know?”

Fry: (shrugs) “What can I say?” (upbeat) “Hey, I got an idea! Let’s sneak out after

landing, and hide out for the weekend at your Mom and Dad’s place. I’m sure they

wouldn’t mind and they love to hear about our little adventures.”

Leela: (weary) “Hmm…tempting, but…”

Fry: (serious) “Listen. Go lie down, ok. The ship is in good hands since you’ve been

training me. I promise…no screw ups!

Leela: (sighs) “Alright, but don’t pilot for too awfully long. You’re tired too


(Leela leaves the bridge with Fry at the helm, and goes to her quarters. She kicks off

her boots and socks and stretches out on her bed. She takes a quick look at the clock, and

lets herself relax for a bit. Leela’s out like a light before she knows it, and four hours pass

before she wakes up. She finds herself covered up with a light blanket.)

Leela: (groggy) “Ohhh…I slept too hard. What the hell’s the time?”

(checks the clock) “What? I slept for four hours?! Ohh…what’s happened in that


(Leela quickly walks to the bridge to find Fry still steadily piloting the ship on


Fry: (surprised) “Oh! Well, welcome back to the land of the living.”

Leela: (annoyed) “Why did you let me sleep for so long?”

Fry: (smiles) “I checked in on you, and I didn’t want to wake you up. You were

sawing logs with that cute snore of yours.”

Leela: (adamant) “Well, it’s time for you to take a break now. So set the auto pilot

and come with me. I need some TLF to help me properly relax. I slept too hard. Oh,

and I don’t snore!

Fry: (salutes) “Yes ma’am! Coming ma’am.”

Leela: (annoyed) “Knock it off with the ma’am crap! It makes me feel like an old

Woman. Just set the auto pilot and come on.”

Fry: (smiles and salutes) “Yes ma’am!

Leela: “Grrrrr….(grumble!)”

(Leela and Fry dress down to just the essentials so they give each other a good rub

down, and that’s when Leela finally gets a good look at how banged and bruised up

Fry is. Their delivery to Oxtifar, and the stop at Decapod 10 have taken a toll on him.

No wonder he asked her to take it easy on him. The worst was the humongous bruise

covering his left side. That’s where Znarg had whammed him, and where she had

elbowed him!)

Leela: “Phil, stretch out. I’ll do you first, and I want to check that bruise on your left


(Leela comes back with the med scanner, and massage oil. She runs the scanner over

his injury.)

Leela: (concerned) “Oooo…you have three cracked ribs. No wonder. I’m sorry that I

elbowed you there. It didn’t help did it?”

Fry: (sighs) “It’s alright. I’ll live.”

Leela: “That’s the worst spot so; I’m going to wrap it up.” (seductive) “Then for the


(Leela took care in wrapping up Fry’s left side, and she checked to make sure that

the rest was just minor. Fry lies on his stomach and purrs happily as his girl

friend gave him a complete rub down. He was happily dozing as Leela starts to

massage his sides, but then Fry started to twitch and snicker.)

Leela: (smiling to herself) “Uh oh! So these are your little weak spots huh? Well,

turn about is fair play.”

(Leela gentle starts to rake her finger nails on his sides, and it definitely promotes a


Fry: (snickering and twitching) “Leels, no! Not those spots.”

Leela: (playful) “Oh yeah? Well then, I’ll just have to…”

(Leela quickly strattles Fry’s back, and pins him down. She then vigorously starts to tickle his vulnerable sides. Fry was soon laughing like a hyena and bucking wildly. This only egged Leela on further. Fry was right about this kind of horseplay being fun. Now it was her turn!)

Fry: (laughing) “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha aaaah! Ha ha ha…God! You’re ha ha killing ha ha me! Ha ha ha ohh ho ha ha…No! Not there! Leels! Please, ha ha my sides are ha ha kill… hee hee… ing…me!”

(Leela stops when she hears him say that. She had her fun, and now Fry knew she could hold her own in this kind of warfare as well.)

Fry: (gasping) “Damn! Not bad, Leels.”

Leela: (concerned) “Is your side alright? I didn’t want you actually bust those ribs any further!” (amused) “So, now we’re even.”

Fry: (amused) “Yeah, until the next round! It’s your turn now. So stretch out and relax. I’ll work from the bottom up.”

(Leela lies on her stomach and stretches out. Fry oils her up and starts with her feet. Leela sighs happily as he works the aching fatigue out of her insteps, arches, and heels. Fry had decided not to tickle her back for the moment because it would have spoiled the mood that he was setting. He continued working his way up her calves, and shapely thighs. God, he loved to do this for her. Oh, it was stimulating! He soon moved on to her back, and worked out the tension in her muscles until they were butter soft. He continued on with her shoulders, but couldn’t resist the urge any longer. Fry very gently started to nuzzle and brush his lips on her shoulders. He then started to kiss her on the back while still massaging her at the same time.)

Leela: (to herself) “Hmmm…what’s all…?” (purrs) “Ohhh! Ohh my! Ooooooo!

(Then Fry started running with just his fingertips, over her heightened sensitive skin. He definitely promoted a reaction when he caused her sigh, and break out into goose bumps!)

Leela: (aroused) “Whoa! Ok hot shot! Cool your jets.”

Fry: (amused) “But I’m not wearing a jet pack this time.”

Leela: (giggles) “No! Your other jets, silly.”

Fry: “Oh. Sorry…I…”

Leela: (gentle) “It’s alright. Come on, now. Lie down next to me so we can get some shuteye.

Fry: (warm) “Ok, Leels. But…did you like that?”

Leela: (content) “Yes, Philip. I did.” (to herself) “More than you know for now.

(Leela gently pulls Fry close to her and turns out the light.)

Leela: (quiet) “I set my alarm to get us up an hour before landing. I actually remembered to do it this time. We can get at least five good hours of sleep, ok Phil?…Phil?…Hello?”

(Fry however had already drifted off to sleep in her warm embrace. She smiled lovingly at her boyfriend, and kissed him goodnight.)

Leela: (yawning) “Not a bad way to end this delivery. Not bad at all.”

(Leela soon joined him in that contented sleep, and there would be more adventures ahead for the two of them.)

(The Present)

(Fry’s thoughts finally leave the past, and he comes out of his reverie. He looks down to see that he’s still holding the cherished photo of Leela, himself, and Doctor Zoidberg.)

Fry: (smiles to himself) “Thanks, Doc. For everything you did for us. We may have lost you at the end of that delivery, but it wasn’t such a bad way to go. You and Alma, brought Leela and I ever closer together. So, be at peace my friends, and know that Leela and I are together, and we’re alright.”

(Fry finally checks his watch, and he’s shocked that it’s been well over an hour since he came to the locker room to look for his Holo Phoner case!)

Fry: (horrified) “What the?!….Oh, jeeze! I’d better get my butt in gear or Leela’s going to kick it from here to Hyperon 4!

(Fry puts the Holo Phoner in its case along with the sonnets and gathers up the movies. He quickly starts to put back all the items he pulled out back in his locker, and then secures it. Fry then dawns his heavy jacket and thinsulate gloves again, and puts on his utility belt. He attaches his blue laser sword, and holsters his Ragging Bull. He’s finally got himself put together. He picks up his Holo Phoner case with the movies in one hand, and shoulders his laser rifle with the other.)

Fry: (to himself) “There! I finally got myself put together. Great!…Now I just need to load a couple of tons of Hyper enriched birdseed, and we’ll be ready.”

(groans) “There’s so much too do today. I sure hope Leels in a good mood.”

(Fry leaves the locker room and hurriedly heads for the hanger to start making final preparations to depart for the long delivery ahead.)

To Be Continued…

Phew! Sweet Zombie Jesus, that was a long part! But, I wanted to tell the whole Shebang. I’m going to need a little break after this Part. I’ll start getting my ideas put together for Part 6, at sometime in the near future. I’d like to give a special thanks to Ramon 51, for his support while I was writing this installment. Please, if you have any comments or suggestions I’m all ears. My E-Mail’s Jjkriebel@aol.com. Thanks a lot!