Against All Odds
(Opening Credits Line: Watch out for the billboard)
(scene opens with Amy and Leela in an undisclosed public bathroom putting their
Leela: I cant believe Kif wont go on a one on one date with you.
Amy: I cant believe you wont go on a one on one date with Fry.
(Leela furrows her brow and puts her lipstick on as Amy talks)
Amy: He said he spelled your name in the stars or something. Well, anywho,
Kif is too shy to be alone with me like that. (Leela presses her lips to even
out her lipstick) Not like Fry, he was way too
impulsive for me.
(Leela puts her lipstick in her purse and plays with her hair)
Leela: At least he doesnt make up stories like
hey why are you
always talking about Fry? Its like youre in love with him or something.
IM not in love with him.
(Leela walks out of the bathroom with a sour look on her face and sits next
to Fry in Elzars restaurant. Fry is sitting next to Kif and Kif is looking
nervously to an empty seat.)
Fry: Its okay Kif, she probably only fell in a little. (Fry jokes, Kif shrugs,
not getting it apparently)
Leela: Kif, why dont you just go out with Amy on a non-double, not-two-coupley
kinda date some time?
Kif: Oh it wasnt my ideee
(Frys demeanor changes and he shakes
his head no at Kif, Elzar walks up to the table giving Fry the chance to change
the topic of conversation)
Fry: Well whos going to order for Amy? (He smiles vacantly at Leela)
Salad is girl food! (Nudges Kif) Order a salad for Amy! (Kif just nods, and sweats
puddles. Leela looks bemused at Frys logic and decides to defy it)
Elzar: One salad.
Leela: Im going to have the lobster stuffed wiiith (rolls her finger
down the menu) taco meat.
Elzar: One number three special.
Fry: A hamburger
Elzar: (sighs) A plain cheeseburger.
just a salad.
Elzar: Another salad, and what to drink.
Fry and Leela simultaneously: BEER! (Leela quickly changes)
Leela: Two for me!
Kif: Ill have water
I think Amy would like wine.
(Elzar walks away, looking a little disgusted by the group. Amy returns to
sit down, smiling)
Amy: So whatd I miss?
Leela: (rolls her eye sarcastically) I just proclaimed my undying love for
Fry: (looks excited) Really!? I just missed that
could you repeat it?
(Leela looks at him and shakes her head no Fry looks dejected.)
(Elzar sets down the food, the four start to eat, the camera pans up to look
at the night sky out of the window. The camera pans out again on Fry in the planet
express ship, looking out at the same scene)
Amy: (seductively to Kif) I really wish you could stay over.
Kif: (embarrassedly) I
oh! Oh my! (kisses Amys cheek, Amy looks
(Fry looks up hopefully, at Leela leaning over the control panel of the ship)
Fry: (seductively) Am I going to get a good night kiss?
(Leela brushes empty liquor bottles off the control panel, she spins around
in her chair facing Fry and smiling somewhat evilly)
Leela: Suuure. Ill kick you. Ill kick you good and hard, I will.
(she pounds her fist; Fry looks concerned at her)
Fry: Uh, Leela I think youve had too much to drink.
Leela: (tipsy) No, YOUR mother! (she slides off the chair and out of
Fry: (frowns) Ill go make you some coffee. (Fry walks away fairly quickly)
(Fry has a quick montage of every time he and Leela almost made romantic contact,
including on the Titanic, when he had the parasites, and when they almost held
hands on Valentines Day, he looks at the coffee maker and begins talking
Fry: I guess Id want to be drunk if I had to spend a night with me, too.
Can I have something strong for a hangover?
(The coffee maker makes a vomiting sound and spits out a three cup mug of cold,
Coffee Maker: I knew I was saving the grinds for something.
Fry: (sighs and takes the mug) I wish I saved the grinds
Coffee Maker: Does not compute!
Fry: (lowers his head and walks out of the frame back into the cockpit) Hey
Leela I think you should have something to drink.
Leela: (cackles) What do you think Ive been doing all night!?
Fry: (gets indignant and thrusts the mug at her) You smell like Bender.
Leela: (takes a gulp of the coffee) This tastes like sand
Fry: I thought you liked it like that?
Leela: I didnt say I didnt. (She smiles and clamors back up to
the pilots seat) Were approaching the Nimbus. (She swivels around
in her chair to face Amy and Kif, who are now next to the port window) Say goodnight,
(Amy grabs Kif, holding him close and puckering her lips)
Kif: (his camouflage reflex goes off) Goodnight!
(Amy kisses him forcefully, he walks down the stairs and Amy sighs)
Amy: Well theres no point in being awake if Kifs not around. Night!
(She leaves, whistling the first few notes to My Heart Will Go On)
Leela: (eyeing Amy) Isnt it pathetic how she thinks about him all the
THOUGHT!) Hmm? Oh, yeah
Leela: You look upset about something. Didnt you like your hamburger
Fry: Yeah, it was fine. Im just worried about you. Arent you sick
Leela: Hey, Im better. Im one sentient mutant
(Theres an awkward silence as Fry leans against the control panel)
Fry: I was hoping youd have fun tonight.
Leela: I had enough fun. (Jerks the ship with a quick steer, causing Fry to
Fry: No! I mean, dont you enjoy hanging out with me at all?
Leela: Of course I do! Just like I enjoy hanging out with
Fry: Forget it, Im going to bed.
(Fry enters his room and picks up the lined notebook that he draws his comics
in. He lays back and leans it against his knees, clicking his pen)
Fry (thinking as he doodles): Leela walked into the cockpit and looked out
the window with me. There, written in the stars, were the exact words I wanted
to express... I love you, Leela She saw it
She married me for
and we did not get divorced. We shared our football plates for the rest
of all time. (He throws the pad on the ground and begins to grumble) Things never
happen in the order theyre sposed to.
(He leans back, wide awake, with his head in his hands. The scene cuts back
to Leela driving back to Earth)
Leela: Captains Log! (The ship beeps) Star date uh
am I so hard on Fry? Four no good raisin perhaps
jealous that he has two eyes. Maybe I dont want another Zapp Brannigan stalking
Ship: Maybe you have a crush on him.
Leela: (becomes defensive) No one axed you.
Ship: Approaching the Planet Express launch pad
Leela (stands up and stretches): I guess Ill have to wake up the kids.
(Quietly walks into the girls quarters and shakes Amy) Were there.
(Walks across the hall into Frys room, tripping on his junk) Wake up, its
time to go to bed! (She sees his notebook on the ground and opens it up to the
latest comic he drew) Poor guy
HEY YOU! (She swats him with the
book, then drops it where it was) Wake up!
Fry (laughs): I WAS awake! (He starts giggling as Leela swoops down again and
scoops up the notebook, swatting him with it and chasing him out of the room.)
Fry (off screen): Youre cute when youre mad!
Leela: (still gripping the book aggressively)
and youre just so
Fry (still off screen): I like being chased! Its a nice change.
(Leela sighs, drops the book, and then exits Frys room.)
(Amy passes out in the garage area; Fry and Leela step around her and exit
the building. Its so late/early the sun is breaking the horizon)
Leela: (gives Fry a quick peck on the cheek) Thats for buying me food
Fry: What if I bought you food every night? (Leela sighs and Fry takes her
hand) Im joking. I wont have any expectations
if you dont
want me to.
(Leela looks surprised at his eloquence)
Leela: Do you have worms again?
Fry: I dont think so. Why do you as
axe? (Leela smiles and shrugs,
Fry kisses her hand) Your hand smells like coffee.
Leela: Get some sleep, Fry.
Fry: See you later, Leela.
(Fry walks into his apartment at Robot Arms, Bender comes out of suspend mode
and waves his arms around)
Bender: Burglar! Im being burgled, oh burgle-be!
Fry: Shh! Bender its just me
Bender: Oh its you, meatbag. How did your human thing go?
Fry (tossing his coat on Benders antenna): My date? Not bad
not necessarily good. Now I gotta get some sleep or I wont be able to function
Bender: (putting on his curious British accent) Ello?! One would think
you would have gotten some sleep in the time Leela dropped off Amys lizard
Fry: Nothing happened.
Bender: I thought you two would have output already.
Fry (gets angry): Leela is a special; she doesnt have to output to retain
Hey a quarter!
(He bends over to pick it up, scene transitions to Leela doing toe touches
in the Planet Express conference room)
Leela (watching Fry and Bender walk in): One-two! (Zoidberg is wearing a sweatband
and spotting Leela, though it is clear she doesnt need spotting)
Zoidberg: Im helping my friend! (Points at Fry) Zoidberg is the most
trusted! (He clicks his claws and does his lobster hoot, everyone ignores him,
Hermes (walks in cheerily, holding a small pile of papers): Good news, everyone!
The professor died!
(Everyone gasps at Hermes, and Leela stops doing her stretches)
Farnsworth (off screen): Damn it Hermes! I didnt die; I overslept. (He
walks on screen and points at Hermes) Put that damned death certificate requisition
away. (Hermes walks back into his office disappointedly) Good news, everyone!
Were on call today, so just stick around here and clean up until I give
you some real work.
Fry (straightening up and saluting): Permission to get donuts, sir?
Farnsworth: Permission granted, as long as you pick up some of the self-chewing
(He throws a twenty at Fry, who smiles it and tucks it in his pocket)
Leela: (leans against the teal table pointedly) He cant pilot the ship
Farnsworth: Well I need a woman to stay here and wash my Re-Depends. (Leela
points at Amy in the corner by the sink) Amy is simply too cute for such a deplorable
job. (He throws the laundry bag at Leela. She shudders)
Fry: Well, Im leavin on a spaceship. (He looks at Leela and twirls
the keys, lowering his voice)
I dont know when Ill be back
Leela: Try ten minutes, hotshot. Taking a womans baby away is wrong.
Fry: I knew you cared about me!
Leela: (lowers her eyelid) I meant the ship.
Fry: Right! Come Bender, you shall be my gunman, in case we come across hostile
Bender (waves his hand and has a cigar): No thanks. Id rather stay here
and blab all your human secrets to the cyclops. (Fry whistles and boards the ship;
he exits it in reverse, yet nobody seems surprised or concerned)
Leela: I dont think Fry is capable of keeping his own secrets.
Bender: Youd be surprised
He talks about you all the time. And
he kept these
(Bender pulls the pair of wedding rings out of his chest cavity
and quickly replaces them) But that doesnt matter, cause theyre mine
Leela: Thats just mean. You should give them back to him.
Bender: You gave yours back and he was more hurt than ever. What does he need
them for, anyway?
Leela: How would you know if he was hurt?
Bender (takes a long draw of his cigar): Because I have to suspend while he
plays his holophoner
Hes got it for you in the processor. He holds
you in his RAM, even when he reboots. Youre more than just a folder on his
hard drive. So what if his temporary cache is full? Look, pork-pouch, the answers
are so simple. How come you dont give the guy a chance? No one is perfect
except us robots
were built that way. Well my point is, tear down
that firewall in your inferior human heart.
Leela: (staring at Bender) That almost made perfect sense. When did you get
Bender: (the cigar falls out of his mouth) Its how I was about
Angleina. Now if you excuse me
(He reopens his chest cavity and pulls out
a USB cable) I have a hot date with the toaster. (He puts his hand next to his
mouth and lowers his volume) Shes into the rough stuff
(Leela tries to ignore the last Bender-ism. She feels a hand on her shoulder
unexpectedly, and jumps.)
Fry: Donuts are here! (He holds up the dozen as though its a trophy accomplishment)
Leela: That must have been the quietest landing ever, Fry. Good job.
Fry: Lets see
(Everyone gathers around the table as Fry passes
out the different flavors) Low-nuts for Amy, Meto-Nuts for Bender, Faux-nuts for
the professor, Limbo-nuts for Hermes, Astro-nuts for me, and Zoidberg can have
the box. (Fry turns around to get the box for Zoidberg, but its gone)
Zoidberg: Already done.
Leela: (Crosses her arms) I guess you assumed I didnt want any because
I was watching my weight.
Fry: I got you the best. Viola! A Glazed Nuclear-cream-filled-double-dipped-suicide
donut for Leels!
Leela: Itll take me a week to eat this, at least. Thanks Fry.
(Everybody sits down to eat together, like a big, freakish family.)
Amy: If it doesnt have a hole is it still a donut?
Fry: If Leela doesnt have two eyes, is she still beautiful?
Bender: (disappointedly) My Meto-nuts dont have as much cadmium as they
(Leela pokes her Suicide Donut with a plastic knife
it wiggles as though
it were alive.)
Leela: I cant cut it, its too beautiful. I mean
its like art!
Fry (laughs at Leela): A la Arte de Povera or Avante Garde maybe
stops eating at stares at him. He looks up in mid-bite.)
maybe I was a little critical
Hermes: Did you have another truck stop egg salad sandwich?
Fry: Why does everyone keep insinuating I have the worms again?
Farnsworth: I think we should go have a look! Wheee!
Fry: Thats a little embarrassing. Can I just go in and look around myself
with a droid?
Leela: Since when are you embarrassed by anything? We dont need to go
in and look, thats proof enough
Farnsworth: Oh poo!
Fry: Come to think of it, they said theyd come back some day
(Leela pushes her donut away from her and looks at Fry)
Leela: They were in the burger you had?
Fry: Thats not sanitary
I wonder if we can sue Elzar.
Bender: I wont respect you ever again if you sue Elzar
Amy: Since when did you respect anyone anyway?
Leela (puts her hand on Frys shoulder): If you really want to, you can
chase them out again
Ill help you.
(Fry looks ill and confused for a second. Everyone has finished his or her
food except for Leela. Fry stands up very suddenly.)
Fry: I thought you used to like the worms? Why do you want to get rid of them,
Leela: (turns her back to Fry) Im not exactly sure why
(The scene cuts away and Leela and Fry scan themselves and put on their cyber-gear,
as the rest of the staff watches on. Fry and Leela twirl their lasers)
Fry: Okay I took us in the fastest way possible
now we just have a short
walk and to look around
Leela: Its really quiet. (She kicks him in the shins playfully and runs
a few meters ahead of him.)
Fry: What was that for?
Leela: (looks a little disappointed) Im not used to you being so serious
Im not sure I like it.
Fry: Well I wont be that way when we chase these stringy bastards out
Leela: Whats the plan of action?
Fry: I was just going to do what I did last time
it changes everything.
(Leela looks questioningly at Fry, but he does not return the glance)
Fry: Were there
(He motions his laser gun as a villa and a sign
that reads Welcome to Cologne) Please just let me do the talking
(Fry and Leela walk into the villa side by side, down a long red carpet. They
both kneel at the end of it, in front of the young new king)
Emperor: Ive heard tell of you, Universe. (The emperor directs his attention
towards Leela) Is this the woman my forefathers spoke of? Was she worth making
yourself stupid over?
Fry: Yes, great Emperor. (Leela looks between Fry and the Emperor awkwardly)
and would she have been worth it, had you actually cut your
medulla oblongata, and killed yourself?
(Leela gasps at the Emperor, then turns to Fry)
Leela (to Fry): You werent really going to KILL yourself
Fry (closes his eyes): What did I have to lose? Like I said before, I needed
to know if you loved me for what the worms made me, or me for who I was before.
Leela (thinking carefully): Which one wrote, I love you, Leela
in the stars?
(At this, the Emperor stands up and snaps his fingers. The small amount of
workers and militia that had been occupying Fry file into the room, and line the
pathway of the red carpet)
Emperor: Let it be known that Leela has now chosen the before Fry.
The workers have stopped working. Now let us all leave before Fry does something
stupid. (The worms start filing out, as if they had practiced for the occasion)
And this time
well never come back.
Fry: NO!!! Dont leave! Ill never have my chance... (He falls on
his hands, sobbing pathetically) I can feel myself getting dumb again.
Leela (sits up straight, wrapping her arms around Fry): I love the Fry that
I married before. I love the Fry that chased me, even when I hurt him. I want
my stars back.
(Fry stops audibly crying, and removes Leelas helmet, bringing her back
to the Planet Express Medical Bay. She then throws her lasers on the ground and
removes Frys helmet, she wipes the tears off his face. The two spin around
to alleviate awkwardness and notice the rest of the Planet Express staff havent
moved from their original seats, sitting quietly.)
Leela (clears her throat): So
the lasers were pretty useless huh?
Fry (sniffling): Nah. They looked good.
Amy: (squealing) You really DID move the stars for her!
Fry: (looks into Leelas eye) I would move all the stars in the sky
(The entire company walks out, leaving Fry and Leela alone in the Medbay)
Bender (turns to Farnsworth): Professor, it didnt work, therere
still worms in there, I think.
Hermes (smiles knowingly): Dont worry, metal man, I have a feeling the
worms are gone for good.
Bender: How can you be so sure?
Hermes: Who do you think planned this?
Amy: And who do you think executed this?
Zoidberg: Zoidberg helped, too!
Farnsworth: ... Meddling kids.
Bender: Oh my god! But what would be in it for the worms if they couldnt
live in Frys body?
Hermes (laughing): We made prior arrangements to keep the worms busy for a
long, long time
(The camera pans in dramatically on Professor Farnsworths head)
Worker Worm #1: (panting) Sir, we keep exercising the brain
Worker Worm #2: (runs in behind worker worm #1) He just forgets what we teach
Emperor: So youre saying well never complete our grand design?
Worker Worm #1: (the workers look at each other) In short
Emperor: (crosses his arms, satisfied) Perfect.
(The last shot consists of a slow solid swoop from the inside of the professors
body, through his nose, overhead of him, out of the building, the earth, then
resting on the galaxy.)