And a Hero Comes Along
When a new guard is hired
at planet express, fry gets the hots for her... but leela on the other hand
is not impressed at all. And jealousy soon takes her over. And rivalry begins
We see everyone
gathered around the table at the planet express building. Everyone except
Professor Farnsworth, who just soon after everyone has sat enters the room.
Farnsworth: Good news everyone!
Bender: here it comes... I bet it’s
something like... You’re going on a mission to the kill planet in the kill
zone or something like that crap
Farnsworth: You have all got a week
off, starting today!
Everyone shouts loudly, and
they all start dancing and celebrating
Zoidberg: hurray.. Im so happy
Farnsworth: But you won’t be getting
They all start booing and
throwing stuff at the professor
Zoidberg: im booing because my friends
Leela: why arnt we being paid
Bender: yeah you pay me and fry for
sitting on our asses all day... So what are we supposed to do without money
for a week! I need booze and smokes man.
Farnsworth: because you arnt exactly
going anywhere are you? So why should I waste my money on you if your not
doing anything or your not going to some death planet
Leela: yeah but we need food and are
Bender: like booze and alcohol
Farnsworth: let me finish please, I
have received a lot of complaints that most of the packages people receive
are always badly damaged, and they are blaming the crew for not being safe,
therefore I have hired a body guard!
All: A BODY WHAT?!
Leela: why the hell do
we need a body guard? Where all fine on our own
Amy: but leela, everytime
we go on a mission one of us ends up almost dying, or getting captured, or
stung or eaten, or having several parts taken of us
Bender: yeah likes fry
Fry: shut up bender, that
was not funny
Bender: or his nose
Fry gives bender evils
Bender: what is not likes
it going to happen, ahh screw this I cant be arsed sitting here and listening
to you lot moan, I think it will be cool having a body guard, now Leela wont
have to constantly look after fry, you will have nothing to worry about!
Leela: well I guess that’s
a good point, but Im sure I can do my job and do the job of looking after
Bender: yeah but it’s a
body guard, they do everything for us, they can take us anywhere, get us anything
we want… well will be treated like royalty!
Leela: yeah Ive been meaning
to try my new karate moves on people. Alright
Farnsworth: good, im glad
were all happy, I just need you to sign this contract to make sure that everyones
happy, because know a lot of companies have at least one body guard to protect
you on missions
Everyone signs in a mad rush...
When everyone has signed, Hermes puts it into a tube which is unbreakable
and put it into a shoot which sends it to the CB
Quickly he gets a reply with
the new body’s guards licence.
Hermes: ahh that’s record
time, know everyone will be safe on all the missions
Bender: so what I said
before, the person will be like a butler?
Farnsworth: oh my no!...
she will only be guarding you on missions only, I mean your not exactly in
Leela: you just made me
sign that! Whats the point If I cant beat up our own guard
Farnsworth: well technically
you cant, because if you do then they can send you to prison for along time
Bender: how long
Farnsworth: ohh a few weeks,
its basically assault
Leela: I can multi task
all the time
Amy: but leela, your not
always there for us, your always crying about how lonely you are or how crap
your life is, or getting into a stress
Leela: do you have a stick
Amy: yeah, here you go
Leela: thanks I seriously
Farnsworth: anyway our
new body guard will be arriving in a week, so everyone just sit back and have
fun while its lasts, think of this week as a vacation
The professor, Hermes, Amy,
scruffy and zoidberg all walk off in separate ways, leaving bender, Leela
and fry sitting at the table
Fry: cool a vacation, ive
been saving up for one, I wonder where I should go…
Leela: fry it doesn’t mean
literally go on a vacation, its means just hang around planet express for
a week and do nothing, isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?
Fry: Ive always wanted
something else but ive never got it
Fry looks at Leela in a sad
way and then gets up and walks out
Leela: what was that all
Bender: isn’t it obvious
you idiot... hes obviously giving up on you!
Leela: what do you mean
Bender: ughh obviously
the amount of “no’s” you have said to him have heart broken him too much,
therefore he no longer wants to keep on trying to go out with you
Leela: I don’t want him
to do that!
Bender: why? I mean it’s
not like your ever actually going to say yes
Leela: I was the next time
he asked me out
Bender: please hunny, like
you say that now but when he comes up to you and asks, you would make up a
crappy lie and walk off
Leela: oh well, he probably
would of bin wearing horrible clothes..
Bender: in case you havnt
realised, he wears the same clothes everyday, we all do! Even you
Leela: no I don’t, I wear
a different shade of white everyday
Bender: please don’t make
me laugh, well I think you and fry would of bin good together, but you were
too busy worrying about what would happen instead of what was happening.
Leela: why are you being
so helpful? Or so inspiring
Bender: I have no idea.
But its bin happening for ages, so im gonna find out
Bender gets up and walks
out of the room leaving Leela on her own
The scene then skips to where
bender and fry are at the apartment watching TV
Bender: fry whats up, you
have barely even attempted to open your beer
Fry sighs and talks
Fry: for some strange reason
I don’t really feel like drinking tonight, im just gonna go bed
Bender: oh fine, ill just
have your beer.. I wont let it go to waste
Fry gets up and walks off
Then suddenly there is a
knock at the door.. bender gets up and walks to the door and looks through
the spy hole and sees that its leela, hes tells her one minute and walks back
to see fry
Bender: hay fry, leelas
at the door, do you want me to tell her to get lost or do you want me to invite
her in and let you get intimate with her
Fry: tell her to get lost,
I don’t know why I bother with her, Ive tried so much to get her attention,
ive bettered myself, become more mature and even gone gym a few times, theres
just no point anymore
Bender: ok all I asked
for was a few words, not some ending speech... jeez
Bender walks over to the
door and opens it
Bender: look leela I don’t
know how to say this but uhh… I don’t really want to hurt your feelings in
Leela: just say it, is
Bender: well.. its just
that he wants you to get lost
Bender: well im off to
Bender closes the door on
her and locks it, leela still talks though
Leela: bender, bender…
BENDER! Come back and open the door
Bender ignores her, while
a grumpy and really distressed leela walks off.
A WEEK LATER.
A week soon passes and at
the planet express building, we see everyone sat down talking and wondering
what there new guard is to be like, leela and fry are sat separate from each
other and havnt talked to each other since the incidence at the apartment
about a week ago
Leela: I bet the new guard
will have one eye too, so I wont be on my own
Amy: nah two eyes are loads
better, its make people look sexyier right people
All(except leela): totally
Leela gives them all an evil
Leela: yeah but this isn’t
fair, fry likes me with one eye right fry
Fry ignores her and continues
talking to bender
Fry: so anyway bender,
if this new person is a girl and shes hot then I have to have sex with her
Fry: but what are you going
to do because it is like a bet
Bender: ok.. nah I don’t
have to be betted. You just give me $50 at the end of the week if you havnt
had sex, but if you have and theres proof then I will give you $50
Fry: it’s a bet
Bender: huh fry you will
never do it
Fry: watch me
Bender: ok I will when
u do it, it will be good for my porn site which is crap because all there
is in naked pictures of Amy and Leela
Leela looks over with a suspicious
look on her face, wondering what bender and fry are talking about, bender
and fry continue shaking hands with evil looks in there eyes
The professor walks in with
a girl about 5ft tall and with brown hair that stops half way down her back.
She is wearing a red cheerleading top, a red and black cheerleading skirt,
black and red stripy knee high socks, and white trainers
Professor: crew meet hazel
Leela: where have I herd
that second name before
Leela thinks hard and we
see a numerous amount of flash backs until it stops at the flashback where
we see the whole crew being introduced to mayor colonel of the underworld
of Atlanta, where there are a lot of mermaids.
Colonel: Welcome to Atlanta.
Folks round these parts call me the Colonel. [Bender hums Dueling Banjos.] Here, have some breathers, courtesy of our Chamber of Commerce.
[He hands them the same breathing
gear Umbriel gave Fry earlier. They put them in.]
Leela remembers it and has
a surprised look on her face and gasps. She gets up and grabs Amy and walks
off with her and quietly talks to her in the kitchen
Leela: do you know who
that girl is?!
Amy: uhh... Splesh shes
our new bodyguard
Leela: no her name you
Amy: oh... Weren’t you
listening? Her name is hazel colonel.
Leela: exactly, now where
have you heard that name before?
Amy: uhh don’t know.
Leela carries on explaining
everything to amy, while Farnsworth talks about the new guard to the rest
of them, but bender and fry have their own private chat.
Fry: what do you think
leela and Amy are talking about?
Bender: maybe about the
new guard, or the fact that you haven’t spoken to her in a week or girly stuff...
Or leelas pregnant, yeah you get the picture
Fry: man I feel awful now
Bender: NO FRY. That’s
what she wants you to think for doing it, so you will go to her and apologise
and she knows she will win, but not this time, don’t give up
Fry: wow bender since when
have you bin that helpful?
Bender: damn it, I hate
it when that happens!
Fry: when what happens?
Bender: sometimes my brains
feels sorry for my friends so it randomly takes control of me and helpful
messages come out to that person. It makes me feel helpful, I hat being helpful.
I went to the robot doctor and he told me
Fry: oh I see.
Back to leela and Amy still
in the kitchen.
Amy: but leela, that could
be any random person with the name colonel, presides when we saw colonel he
only had one daughter not two.
Leela: well there’s always
Amy: but she doesn’t even
look mermaid and even if she was she can’t because she can’t just become full
human after being a mermaid for long
Leela. Wait that’s it!
What if she can turn into a human but can also be a mermaid in water
Amy: leela I think you
should calm down and let it go, is this all because of you and fry?
Leela: NO DAMN IT, I wish
everyone would mind there business about me and fry.
Amy: splesh, no need to
Amy goes and sits back down
at the table; leela however has some coffee and goes and joins them.
Professor: right, hazel
you will be joining them on every delivery they go on, ok
Hazel: whatevah, so who
have we got here.
Professor: well this is
amy, zoidberg, bender, fry, hermes and leela, and im me obviously and your
hazel claps with sarcasm
hazel: well isn’t someone
a clever boy
professor: oh why thanks,
anyway im off know, hermes please tell them of there first delivery today
hazel: what?! A delivery
on the first day, screw this im going to go watch all the my circuts
hazel gets up and walks off,
waving her hands in the air with anger and shouting.. “no way … nope, no delivery
on the first day I barley know this place!”
professor: the whole crew
havnt bin on a delivery in a week and ive had others delivering for us, they
need to get back into a routine
bender whispers to fry
bender: I think im going
to like this new girl
fry: well keep your hands
of her, shes mine
bender: you moron id never
date a human
bender and fry both stand
bender: and I carnt be
arsed going somewhere deadly today, just send leela, amy and zoidberg
hermes: I cant because
this journey is going to take 2 weeks, so amy cant go because she has her
horse jumping competition, zoidberg is already going and so Is leela, we will
need a cook, delivery person and the guard.
Hazel suddenly bursts in
singing “power of love” by heuly Lewis
When she finishes everyone
stops and appaulds because of how amazing she is at singing, everyone claps
and whistles except leela, she looks over to fry and see’s him eyeing her
from top to bottom
Leela: hazel can you even do any fighting
moves? You look like a slut teen
Hazel: what’s the matter Leela? Jealous
because I look better?
Leela gets up and storms
off to the ship, hazel sits down at the table with fry.
Hermes: hazel that was
brilliant, but you still have to go on the delivery
Hazel: I know, ive changed
my mind, im going to go on, presides what else is there to do around here,
in space I can annoy aliens and all that.
Fry: yeah you say it hazel!
Hazel: and you are?
Fry: Im fry, im not from
around this time
Hazel: really how come?
Fry: I was accidentally
frozen in the year 1999 and woke up in the year 3000, so know im technically
25000 years old, well cryogenically. Its pretty confusing but the professor
is my great great great…
Fry starts counting uncle
up to 30, a few seconds later he finishes saying the last uncle
Hazel: Wow, well isn’t
that extraordinary… but cool im not from around here too, i come from a really
deep, dark but amazing place. But im not aloud to speak of the place, it apparently
brings bad luck
Fry: oh right
ON THE SHIP
Bender walks onto the ship
and goes to his cabin and goes to sleep, fry shows hazel where she will be
Fry: sorry, you’ll have
to share with us but we’ve set up a hammock for you over there so don’t worry
Hazel: ahh I don’t mind
sharing with boys, I can talk about stuff like sex, booze, smoking, stuff
Bender immediately wakes
Bender: booze, Smoking,
SEX!... you are the best guard weve never had!
Bender gets up and walks
over to hazel, hugs her and starts crying
bender: you’ve made me
the happyiest person alive
hazel looks at fry and her
face shows a weird look on her
Fry: wow you actually talk
and do all those things?
hazel: hell yeah I aint
scared of a challenge, im not afraid to push the boundaries. Im a complete
Bender: then how come your
dressed likes a slutty cheerleader?
Hazel: the professor made
me put this on because he wanted me to set a good example In front of you
lot, but im going to keep it on, this way I can have sexy easily with anyone.
Leela walks past there room
and stops and listens to what there saying
Fry: so hazel, your saying
youll have sex with anyone?
Hazel: hell yeah.. any
age, any place, any time!, thing is I carnt get pregnant until im 30 because
the place I come from don’t really produce eggs like normal human females.
Bender: what are you talking
Hazel: what im saying is
that, I come from this planet but part of this planet no one has ever heard
Outside leela is jotting
down everything they are saying
Hazel: no one has ever
been there, its forbidden for most people to go there actually, it has been
lost for years actually. I managed to escape from the place I wanted to be
free from it. Well anyway. All females don’t produce eggs until 30 and all
males don’t produce sperm until 30, And sex is legal to any age!
Fry: I so want to go there
Bender: yeah hazel take
Hazel: sorry, no I carnt
there is not to be any outside humans in the area. They won’t live long.
Now let’s just try and
get some sleep
Leela finishes and closes
the note pad and walks off to the bridge. She takes the ship up into orbit
and is soon on the way. She puts the ship onto automatic pilot and soon herself
goes to bed.
She walks past zoidberg who
is eating everything in the Fridge
Leela: ZOIDBERG STOP EATING
ALL OF OUR FOOD
Zoidberg: wooop woop wooop
but im soo hungry, you should understand
Leela: I do, but you can
only eat small portions. Now get to bed.
Leela walks down the narrow
corridor down to her room.
She hears no noise coming
from frys room and she goes up to the door and opens it, she finds that there
all asleep, so she shuts the door quietly and goes to her room and sits down
in the corner and starts crying.
why do I always do things the wrong way!
fry’s about to have sex with the new girl, she’s way hotter and loads cooler
clearly over me, I haven’t bin asked out in like a week know.
always bin alone I always wanted better than fry..
now I know you shouldn’t change someone you care for.
always wanted better from him, more mature, smarter, more organised but when
he’s with hazel, he doesn’t need to.. I need to do something but what?
She continues crying for
a while, her eye is now completely bloodshot from the tears.
She stops crying and stands
up and says to her self
Leela: Im not going to
let fry go out with that slut, fry is mine (out load) HES MINE!
Bender knocks on the wall
Bender: leela would you
shut up, some people actually have to get up late in the morning!
Leela: sorry, wait… how
do you know its morning!?! The sun isn’t even out
Bender: I know but im going
to wake up when I feel like it meatbag
She smiles and lies down
in her bed.
NEXT DAY.. WELL WHEN MOST
Fry and hazel are in there
room talking about stuff, zoidberg, bender and leela are all on the bridge.
Leela: bender, wheres fry
he should of bin up hours ago?, same with hazel
Bender: well if you think
about it logically, we don’t actually need hazel at the moment, we only need
her when were making the delivery, that’s technically when the trouble happens..
so she is not needed while were on the ship
Leela: yeah but what if
we get attacked by space pirates or cows? Or zapp branigan.
Bender: why would zapp
Leela: lets just say I
would be the one making the attack on him, and wheres fry, hes needed
Bender: for what?
Leela: uhh.. hmm.. well
.. hes just needed
Bender: well since you
have no good reason, he clearly isn’t needed, so they might aswell just stay
in there room.
Leela: bender why are you
being so helpful and smart
Bender: ahh damn it not
again, my stupid brain
Leela: whats wrong wi...
Before Leela can finish bender
Bender: look leela im not
explaining it, ive already explained it to fry I can’t be arsed explaining
Zoidberg: woah to many
Leela: zoidbergs right
for once, lets just all keep calm and not loose it
Zoidberg: not loose it,
leela you’ve already lost it, all you ever seem to do is just stress about
fry and all that
Leela: do you like lobster
Zoidberg gets the worried
looks on his face and scuddles away quickly
Bender: leela are you sure
Leela: im fine bender
Bender: is this because
you think fry and hazel are going to get intimate?
Leela: maybe bender, I
just care for fry more… hazel just wants him for the sex… well fry has liked
Bender: leela, fry has
given up on you because you would only go out with him if he was more mature
and a lot smarter, you shouldn’t change someone you care for.
Leela: yeah I realise that
now, but I just don’t think he should date hazel, shes too young
Bender: yeah but if he’s
happy with her then that’s good isn’t it
Leela: there is a big age
difference though, between me and fry there isn’t much of one.
Bender: age doenst matter
leela. If you love or like someone, you should like them for who they are,
not what you want them to become.
Leela: yeah I know bender
Leela and bender go quiet
and don’t speak for along time. They just do there own thing. While leela
steers the ship, bender smokes and drinks at the same time.
Back in frys room, hazel
and fry are talking about their family
Fry: so tell me about you’re
Hazel: well my mum died
before I was born, but I still had my dad, he was the mayor of the entire
Fry: lost city?
Hazel: that’s what a lot
of people call it today, because barely anyone has herd of it or seen it.
Fry: oh carry on but… well
if no one has herd of it, then why do people call it the lost city?
Hazel: because along time
ago a lot of people did know about it, a lot of people used to live there
but until the city became.. well like out of bounds because of too many people
crowding it, it was banned from outsiders.
Fry: wow ive bet ive bin
to that city.
Hazel: yeah maybe, a long
time ago probably but I also have this sister, she’s older than me, really
like weird really.
Fry: why is she weird?
Hazel: let’s just say shes
no good when it comes to explaining things and having sex.
Fry: haha... How dumb.
Hazel: yeah I know, but
they technically were the only family I had.
Fry: why did you leave
the lost city?
Hazel: well because I didn’t
like it, I wanted to be someone new, something else and be with other people.
But my family and others didn’t like my thinking and thoughts of wanting to
Fry: so what happened?
Hazel: lets just say im
not technically human.
Fry: what you’re an alien?
Hazel: no, im a mythological
Fry: oh.. are you a dragon?
Hazel: no fry, im a mermaid.
Frys mouth opens wide with
a shocked face.
Fry: so that means the
lost city is…
Hazel: yep Atlanta
Fry: and your father and
Hazel: colonel and umbriel.
Fry: how did you manage
to turn into a human.
Hazel: well when I was
6 I herd that all the merfolk used to be human until they became mermaids.
But I wanted to be human, not mermaid.. there was barely anything I could
Hazel: so I tried loads
of different experiments to find a way to transform me back into a human,
but when my sister found out what I was doing she told everyone. Everyone
was disgusted in what I was doing, they were all saying “why would you want
to be a human, its great being a mermaid!”… but I didn’t want to be, when
my dad said that he never wanted to see me or speak to me again, that was
my queue to leave forever, never to return. But before I left I left them
a note saying…
FLASHBACK OF HAZEL WRITING
NOTE ON HER DESK
“Dear dad and sister…
Im doing what you said
I shouldn’t do,
I want to be human.
Being a mermaid sucks like
I hate everyone who fought
being a mermaid is good.
Im going to live on the
surface with humans and start a
Just like you, I no longer
want to see you or speak to you
I am never returning to
Congratulations dad, you’ve
lost your wife and now,
You’ve lost your daughter.
Fry: wow. So are you like
Hazel: no unfortunately,
I instantly turn into a mermaid as soon as I touch water.
Fry: ok so we should keep
you away from water
Hazel: yes, and fry please
don’t tell anyone about me being a mermaid, they’ll all freak
Hazel grabs frys hand and
holds it gently will a smile on her face, he smiles back
Back on the bridge, leela
puts the ship on automatic pilot and goes to the toilet.
On her way she stops and
listens to what hazel and fry are saying
Fry: Look hazel, I know
ive only known you for two days now, but im think im starting to like you
Hazel: in what way?
Fry: well I think your
really cute, and amazing, we kind of have a lot in common
Hazel: yeah we do totally,
and I think im starting to like you too.
Leela turns around and starts
crying slowly, she looks through the key hole and she see’s fry and hazel
kissing madly, and soon they get into a deep kiss and … one thing leads to
Leela walks off to the bathroom
and bursts out into tears.
Why?!! Why?!! He is supposed to be my boyfriend not hers.
A small angel of leela pops
up on her left shoulder
Angel: Leela, you’ve
got to talk to fry about your feelings for him, otherwise you are going to
loose him. And he isn’t really going out with you. But otherwise he is soon
to be your future boyfriend
Leela: how do you know?
Angel: I don’t, im just
saying it to make you feel better.
Then a small devil of leela
pops up on her right shoulder
Devil: leela don’t take
this crap from that girl; expose her for what she truly is!
Devil: you said yourself,
you bet shes a mermaid, and mermaids come from water, why don’t you throw
water on her or something like that
Leela: that’s crazy
Devil: crazy enough to
Leela stares into the mirror
for a few seconds and looks at the devil
Leela: you know, maybe
your right im going to get back at this girl, am going to show her what im
made of, and what happens when she steels my man.
Angel: but leela, im
sure if you just talk to her and fry then you can sort things out
Leela: sorry angel, but
I always do the good thing and it comes out wrong, so this time im going to
do the bad and thing and this time it will come out right. Persides, I don’t
think hazel likes me that much and fry has ignored me for like a whole week
and a few days.
Leela kicks the angel of
her shoulder, and walks out of the bathroom with the devil still on her shoulder.
TWO WEEKS LATER
The planet express ship returns
back and everyone is gathered around the table.
Leela is in the kitchen,
talking to the devil.
Leela: right so what should
I do with this
Leela is holding a glass
of water in her hand
Devil: how many times
leela… just walk up to hazel and accidentally pour water
Devil: look leela, do
you want to expose her or not?
Leela: well I do but…
Devil: but what?!
Leela: but I don’t want
everyone to think im jealous or im just like you know… I want everyone to
think I like her not hate
Devil: just walk over
there and trip over spilling water on her
Leela walks over with the
glass of water, and pretends to fall and chucks the water all over hazel.
Hazel gasps quickly, with
her mouth wide open with shocked and scared look on her face
Hazel: OH MY GOD water..
oh my god, oh my god
Fry wispers to hazel quickly
Fry: hazel go get dry quickly
before it happens
Hazel: it should of happened
Hazel gets up and runs to
the door but she is too late, leela gets up and tells everyone to look at
whats happening to her.
Hazel quickly transforms
Into a mermaid.
Hazel: well thanks a lot
Professor: eh gad! A mermaid.
All: oh my god… look at
Amy: hazel where are you
from? Are you from Atlanta? Like everyone else
Hazel: how do you know
Amy : Weve kinda bin there before, and fry even
went out with your sister… but it didn’t go well when it came down to sex
Hazel: yeah well it is
kinda impossible for a human to have sex with a fish…. Ahh I hate calling
myself a fish
Hermes: but technically
you are one
Hazel: I know but still
I hate it, im half human and fish
Bender: but hazel, in mythology,
mermaids were often called the gentle clowns of the sea
Hazel: that’s dolphins
Professor: dolphins don’t
exsist anymore hazel
Hazel: they do in Atlanta
Amy: so you are from Atlanta
and you’re dad is the colonel?
Hazel: yes I am from Atlanta
and my dad is colonel and my annoying sister is umbriel, can some one get
me some towels please?
Hermes hands hazel a couple
of towels to dry herself off, she soon transforms back into a human.
Hazel: ahh good. Back to
Leela: I fought being a
mermaid is your normal
Hazel: no don’t you get
it, I don’t want to be a mermaid, I tried to make a chemical to turn me into
a human, but im only half human.
Professor: well I can turn
you into full human if you want
Hazel: no thanks doc, I
think id rather be tested than be fully humanized by you
Professor: crazy kid. They’ll
Amy: hazel the professors
inventions always work, right everyone
if hazel goes human, then that means she can be with fry forever, I need to
stop her from going human, fry might not want to be with her if she stays
as a mermaid, fry wants kids as I remember, if she goes human, she can have
kids but if she stays mermaid she can only have kids at 30.
Leela: hazel, being human
isn’t all that good, you can have sex for ages without having kids. Like you
said, you don’t produce eggs until you’re 30
Hazel: wait how do you
know about that
Leela: well.. I .. uhh..
looked on the internet
Hazel: but it doesn’t say
anything about that on the internet, the internet is just full of porn and
sex chats know. Theres nothing about mythological creatures
Leela: oh wait… did I say
internet I meant library book
Leela starts to walk backwards
towards the door and starts to get worried
Hazel: you were listening
to my conversation with bender and fry. You little sneak
Hazel drop kicks leela on
the floor and starts punching her madly until she starts bleeding
Leela gets up, bleeding from
her nose and mouth
Leela: well who do you
think you are trying to steel my man
Hazel: you man?! From what
I hear, he asked you out laods and all you cared about was your needs instead
Leela: Ive liked him longer
than you have. I loved him for a period of time
Hazel: you’ve had your
chance… you should have asked him out when you loved him then instead of rejecting
him, everytime you did, It made him feel down all the time
Fry: wow women fighting
over me… this is great
Bender: fry this is serious
one of them might get hurt
Bender: oh right sorry,
Back to the fight
Leela: the time wasn’t
Hazel: no It wasn’t, im
happy with fry. I actually love him
Amy: girls stop fighting…
don’t fight over men
Leela: amy stay out of
Hazel: LEELA.. admit it,
your jealous, you only want fry… you only want to go out with him because
Leela: that’s not true
I want him because I actually have feelings for him, hes my age… you’re 16
you should go out with men your age… not in his 20’s!
Hazel: ohh leela how pittifull…
trying to get me to change my mind… AGE DOENST MATTER ANYMORE, I SHOULD KNOW…
Im a mermaid… I was awarded the hottest and sexiest mermaid award in the world.
Why would fry want to be with you anyway one eye
leela falls to the floor,
crying her eyes out
hazel looks at leela, and brings up a sad face at her, she turns
and walks up to fry and drags
him with her
hazel: fry, I think we
should break up
fry: what?!... are you
doing this for leela? You just hated her and now your trying to help her!
Some girl you are and we were barely even going out, I want to be with you
Hazel: fry, no girl in
there right mind would just fall to the floor and burst out into tears like
that, she clearly likes you
Fry: but im over her, I
want you she might just be doing that for show! How do you know
Hazel: your not over her…
I might like sex and booze and smoking but Im also a girl… I know what other
girls are like with men
Fry: I do seriously like
Hazel: fry, I think you
should know this but… fry when we were having sex you called me leela four
Hazel: you called me leela.
Four times. It just shows that you’re not over her so go to her
Fry: but… im… how… fry gives up and
admits the truth
you’re right as always. Im not over her.. I
was a fool to do all this to her.
I Guess I wanted to be
with you so I could make her jealous.
Im such and idiot
Hazel: your not an idiot,
you just don’t know what to do with most of your life, so got to leela
Fry runs over to leela and
sits down next to her
Fry: leela im sorry for
ignoring you for the past 3 weeks, I didn’t mean to, I was just so depressed
about the fact that all you did was turn me down
Leela: fry im so sorry,
I guess I was just too scared to admit it, i want to give it another try
Fry and leela look at each
other eye to eye
Fry: will you definitely…
Fry: will you definitely
go out with me?
Leela: fry think about
it, you just broke up with hazel and put me through all that trouble and pain!
How can I cope any longer alone I need someone!
Fry: oh I see. WHAT?! Leela
please make sense…
Leela: of course im going
to go out with you
Leela moves over to hug fry
and gives him a loving kiss.
Fry: you gave me a shock
Leela: sorry, it was just
a tiny bit of revenge
They both stand and walk
over to hazel
Leela: sorry hazel for
giving you trouble, I hope we can be mates
Hazel: sure, and fry seriously
you do good sex.
Leela: hay he’s my sex
friend now so don’t get any ideas!
Hazel: I know but fry seriously
I couldn’t go out with you anyway, your like 27 or something and im like 16
plus im a mermaid.
Fry: yeah I know but I
seriously I did like you, but I guess it was just impulse.
Leela: yeah I bet it was,
well it better have of bin.
Hazel: And everyone you
must keep it a secret about me being a mermaid. Because if anyone finds out,
that’s It, I will be a science guinea pig alright
Professor: oh and that
just reminds me, mind if I do some tests? I would like to be a mermaid myself
Amy: yeah I want to be
a mermaid too, I bet it will be hip and cool!
bender: I could be a robotic
All: yeahh it would be
Hazel gets the worried look
on her face and stops them
Hazel: wait!!... you cant
all be mermaids, its really difficulty, it means like everytime you touch
water or come into contact with water you will instantly be a mermaid
Amy: I always avoid water
and all that
Hazel: but it means like
when you sweat or things like that you will turn into a mermaid… you can use
certain things or you will turn into a mermaid
Amy: what like nail varnish
and make up
Amy: ok I think I can like
without being a mermaid… I like my water
All: yeah same here
Hazel: good. I think im
going to enjoy it here. RIGHT GANG!
It zoom’s out of the planet