Futurama

Claw Plaque

Match 12: Adlai Atkins VS Philip J. Fry


ADLAI'S WEAPON OF CHOICE: The blinding power of the colour brown
FRY'S WEAPON OF CHOICE: The Breakfast Club soundtrack


At long last, they have replaced that horrible old gong with a brand new one. So, Gooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggg!!! it goes and the battle begins.

The neutral planet leader is here to cheer on Adlai, and holds up a sign which says, "You might win, Adlai". Whereas nobody is cheering on Fry.

Fry makes the first move, by playing the Breakfast Club soundtrack throughout the stadium. Adlai can barely stand it. "It's completely non-average!"

Nor can the emperor, who's now wearing ear muffs. By this point it has been playing for 3 minutes, but Adlai's had enough. He walks over and smashes the record player, thus stopping the noise, and leaving Fry completely defenceless against Adlai's blinding brown clothes.

Fry looks confused to what the brown clothes can do to him, he just stands there waiting for Adlai's next move... but then, Bender shouts into the stadium, "What the hell are you doing, Fry... attack him!"

Fry pauses for a second and thinks that attacking is the best option, so... Fry tries to show Leela his skills and swings to the left and punches Adlai directly in the face. "Take that.. and this," Fry mutters. He now brings in his secret weapon: A pot of red paint! He splashes it all over Adlai, making the blinding brown disappear.

No Longer with his brown clothes, Adlai's strategy against Fry's attacks is useless, therefore Adlai uses Plan B: a completely average attack, and kicks Fry down to the ground.

Just a reminder, Claw Plaque is brought to you by M.A.D Nuclear Waste, now more powerful than ever.
Now back to our match....

Fry tries to get up before Adlai continues his attack, but he kicks Fry down again. Of course it's a middling kind of kick. Fry doesn't stand a chance. But then, Fry reaches into his pocket... he pulls out... one of Leela's underpants! Fry taunts Adlai by saying, "I got these and you didn't!" Adlai's face goes red with anger and another emotion called jealousy appears, too.

The seething middle-of-the-road man reaches into his pocket to pull out the bandages that were on Leela's head, when she got her second "eye" operation! He wraps them around Fry's neck and chokes him to death. "Ha... with this less-than-average man out of the way, humanity can rest assured that all difference shall be defeated. Long live the middle way. Bwahahahahaha!"

The emperor takes off his ear muffs and grabs the cheap trophy with painted on gold, which he bought from a crustacean pawn shop, handing it to Adlai. "Well done Adlai.. you deserve this 24-carat gold trophy."

Next time on Claw Plaque : Professor Farnsworth VS Bubblegum Tate

Buddies