Futurama

Claw Plaque

Match 13: Professor Farnsworth vs. Bubblegum Tate


PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH'S WEAPON OF CHOICE - death clock
BUBBLEGUM TATE'S WEAPON OF CHOICE - What else, a basketball


So it begins, same as usual... same old crap, same old crap... but what's this? The gong's missing! Argh! That can't be so. The emperor states: "I paid 50 clams for that gong!" The stadium staff go looking for the gong.

Meanwhile, Bender is waiting outside for the battle to end, so he can collect the remains of the loser for the dinner, and also for another reason: "Hehehe, they'll never guess it was me who swiped the gong."

Back in the stadium. "Here you go, Emperor, this will do to start the fight," the stadium staff replies (the emperor only hired one person you know).

"A tambourine, you're kidding?!" the emperor screams. "Oh well, it'll do. It's time we started the fight, anyway!"

And, the fight begins... or so you thought!

"No, dammit! That's not right!" Farnsworth screams.

Tate replies to this by saying, "But, my calculations are perfect! I'd score a three point victory using these."

"But, this data is all wrong, just look at it, that's not right..." replies Farnsworth.

"Right, I've had it with you!" shouts Tate. He throws a stick of chalk at Farnsworth.

Both Farnsworth and Tate then prepare their weapons...

Farnsworth has his death clock ready, and Tate's ready with his basketball.

"You have no chance of winning, you old fool!" shouts Tate.

Farnsworth, on the other hand, thinks otherwise: "This death clock says you've got 1 minute left to live!" What Tate doesn't know is that the death clock has a second mode which is a secret: a weapon of mass destruction... well, minimum destruction... but it does the job. Farnsworth pushes the red button on the bottom of the death clock, and it turns into... a clock that kills - a death clock, so to speak! [Just for fun, I'm renaming the death clock to kill clock.]

Just a reminder - Claw Plaque is sponsored by Fax, the only television network that is worse than Fox.

And now back to our 'fight'. Farnsworth moves closer to Tate, at an unbeatable 1/2 mph. Tate, however, stands still and laughs. "Haha. If this is how fast you move, then it'll take you half an hour just to reach me."

"Damn you, Tate, I'll get you!" Farnsworth screams.

"Tate's over there, mon," Hermes replies.

Farnsworth pushes the blue button on the kill clock... nothing happens. "Useless contraption!"

"Haha. You are so pathetic," shouts Tate. He then throws the basketball at Farnsworth, many many times.

Farnsworth, in immense pain, shouts, "Ow... oww... ow.... ow... ow!" Then another ball is sent towards Farnsworth. This time it's heading towards the kill clock. Bang! "You idiot, you've activated the self-destruct mechanism," Farnsworth says.

"5 seconds till detonation... 4 seconds... 3 seconds...." Farnsworth sees how he can defeat Tate: using the self-destructing device. He throws it at the over-hyped basketball player, when the kill clock says "1 second". BOOM!!

A Massive shockwave went towards Tate's direction. Unluckily, Tate's team-mates were on that side of the stadium, and are blown to pieces, along with most of the crowd. This isn't a good day for the Globetrotter home world, after all! The emperor comes down and hands Farnsworth his trophy, and a bill for destroying half of his stadium.

Next Week: Fry Vs. Leela

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