Futurama

Claw Plaque

Match 1: Bender vs. Scruffy


BENDER'S WEAPON OF CHOICE: A beer bottle
SCRUFFY'S WEAPON OF CHOICE: A microwave


The emperor of Decapo 10 is placing bets. The current favourite? Bender 10-1. The gong sounds. Scruffy looks fairly unenergised as Bender smashes the beer bottle on the side and charges at Scruffy shouting 'You jerk!' Scruffy calmly steps aside and lets Bender smash head first into the side of the arena, knocking his antenna clean off. 'Little Bender!' he cries, before his sadness turns to rage.

'One to Scruffy, zero to robot,' Scruffy quietly announces. Bender flings the beer bottle at Scruffy, it knocks off his hat, and sends it into the podium of fire. 'You burnt Scruffy's hat, Scruffy loved that hat.'

'You're pendin' for a bendin' meatbag!' Bender shouts, picking Scruffy up ready to bend him.

Then Scruffy gets out his secret weapon: a magnet! It seems it was a free gift with 'Zero-G Jugs' (Scruffy's pre-fight inspirational reading). Bender flips out completely, singing, 'how many roads must a man walk down'.

While he is stunned, Scruffy picks up his chosen weapon, the microwave, from the case at the side of the stadium, he smashes the window and then turns the microwave on, shattering Bender into pieces. It was lucky he turned up in 'Anthology of Interest I' or he wouldn't have known that trick.

The Decapo 10 emperor proclaims Scruffy the winner, giving him a medal made out of sand - actually it's just a pile of sand. 'I found it in my pocket,' explains the emperor.

'No hard feelings, robot,' offers Scruffy.

Bender isn't a good loser: 'Bite my dismantled metal ass!'

NEXT WEEK: Mom Vs. Professor Wormstrum.

If you can, vote! You can decide the outcome of this Claw Plaque!

Buddies